9.

Perhaps it was the overwhelming sensation of desire that I felt when I was with him, or the fact that he didn't treat me as some fragile object. He recognised my power, but dominated my entire being, to the point where it was getting hard to breathe in his absence.

"N-no?" I respond, and take a big gulp in attempt to calm my nerves.

"Are we back to stuttering, Dove?" He asks in a gentler tone, his large palm still cupping one half of my face. As if realising that he had held it there for too long, he then drops it, and moves back, creating some space between us.

I didn't want space.

"Why are you cheerleading, anyway?" He breaks the silence, after my inability to produce an answer to his last question.

"Um, well I started for my boyfriend," I simply state, and suddenly realise how stupid this sounded when spoken aloud.

He lets out a mocking scoff, and my embarrassment grows.

"Does your boyfriend always tell you what to do?"

"No! I'm doing this because I simply wanted to surprise him, and show him that -"

"You're not a prude?" He finishes for me, and I instantly cringe at his choice of words. I mean he was right, but there were other ways to say the words.

"Who the hell do you think you are! You don't even know me, and you - you have the nerve to talk to me like that? What makes you think I haven't given myself to him already!"

I'm pathetic.

His smirk grows once again, and he takes one step closer, filling the empty space between us once again. He looks into my eyes with such a strong and powerful gaze, that I have to blink back some of the tension.

"So you're telling me he's had you, then?" He leans in closer. "That his fingers have explored every inch of your body." Closer. "That he's tasted you." Closer, resting his hand on my hip, his mouth dangerously close to my ear, his lips almost grazing the surface. "That he's fucked you sense-"

"Enough!" I snap out of it, completely horrified by his filthy mouth. Never in my life have I been made to feel this uncomfortable, by a complete stranger no less. I barely knew anything about him. And here he was, questioning me about my sex life, or lack of should I say.

His grin widens once again, and he breaks eye contact after what felt like hours. Only for his eyes to then rake down my body, and I could've sworn his lips slipped in between his teeth for a split second. I watch him almost adoringly as he looks me over, taking me in. I hadn't realised I was doing the same until my eyes lock on his tattoo - it was beautiful, like something I'd see in Sam's work - only darker, more defined. Or perhaps that was a result of his built; he was absolutely breath- taking.

"I bet you haven't even touched yourself yet," he breaks my train of thought, and his pupils dilate slightly at his notion of my own eyes exploring his frame.

"Of course I have," I growl, and am taken back by how convincing that lie had just sounded. Clearly, he didn't think so.

"Mhm," he chuckles, and I flush at his ability to pick up on my lie. It was a no brainier though - I had virgin written in capital letters on my forehead. I hadn't even made out properly come to think of it, or at least there was no passionate element to it.

My relationship was such a mess.

"I must say," he leans in closer for the last time, this time his lips almost on mine. His cigarette and alcohol tainted breath was now replaced by the overpowering scent of mint, and the cologne radiating off his t-shirt made for a perfect combination. "I'm a fan of these leggings." He admits, then steps away so abruptly that I almost whimper at the sudden empty space that engulfed me. He walked away, heading towards the dorms on the far side of the building, leaving me there completely flustered and in awe.

How strange though. I thought seniors were unlikely to receive accommodation in the dorms, unless an emergency. And he didn't seem like the type of guy to have any issues with housing.

I walked the twenty minute walk back to the apartment, slamming the door a little too harshly and waking up Sam.

"Where have you been? It's almost ten," he says in a half sleepy voice, as I go to remove my sweatshirt.

"Just over to visit Lilian. I lost track of t-"

"Time, yeah. Dove, do you think I'm stupid? First the library, now your old roommate kept you for a bit too long. Is something going on? Are your parents being difficult again? Talk to me."

My parents? What was the relevance of bringing my problematic parents into this?

"What? No! No, babe. I really did just lose track of time," I say. That wasn't exactly a lie - I was supposed to be back an hour ago, but my heated conversation with Theo got in the way just as last time. He was becoming a real issue.

"I swear, I meant to leave the dorms an hour ago and head back but I-"

"Dove, you know I don't like it when you walk back in the dark by yourself. And you know I can't walk with you, I have the project and I -"

"I know about your projects, Sam." I snap. Why do we keep cutting each other off?

"What's going on?" He asks, his tone softening.

"Nothing! Nothing's going on. You've been busy making friends and working on your art, and I've been occupying myself with Lilian because I miss her. Can you just drop it now?"

I hated using Lilian as an excuse, especially after our fight at the frat house. But I couldn't tell him the truth, not yet.

"Is that what this is about? Me making a couple friends here and there in my courses?"

"No just... I wish we could go back to how things were before."

"Before we moved in together?"

"God, no Sam! I want to be here, with you. I just meant the dates, the making time for each other. We barely get any time together anymore."

"But Dove, we knew it would be like this. In high school, we had more free time - that was a given. College is different news, and we both need to prioritise what's important."

"So what, this relationship is not a priority to you anymore?" I seethe. I couldn't believe this.

"Of course it is! But you and I both know that we must look forward to our careers just as much as we do to our future together. I want this with you, babe. I want us to both excel in our studies - I want us to someday, get a house for ourselves, just like we did this apartment, and start our lives. I love you, and I don't want us to fight anymore."

Despite all that I wanted to spit out at him right now, like how he wouldn't touch me, how we couldn't possibly have the conversation about our future right now without me breaking into a fit, because a normal couple doesn't simply just 'go to sleep' and eat dinner together once a week, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that I couldn't be entirely mad with him when I was partly to blame for our problems too. And so I said I loved him back, for the last time that night, and went to bed with my stomach tied in a knot at the thought that I didn't mean it anymore.