A promise to change

I know I'm shy, just give me time,

I promise I'll leave my shell, I'll climb.

Don't leave yet, I'll change, you'll see,

Less shy, more girly, I'll strive to be.

I'll wear more makeup, hide my quirks,

Leave behind my books and works.

I'll be the person you want me to be,

If that means you'll stay, you'll see.

For a chance at more, I'll change my way,

Don't leave me behind, I pray.

If you go, a promise I'll keep,

I won't forget you, your memory deep.

With you, emotions run wild,

My heart races, I'm like a child.

I fall too fast, love too easily,

Heart on my sleeve, worn visibly.

A rookie mistake, but it's my way,

Loving in fear, what will you say?

Will you like me for who I am?

Or am I just a fleeting plan?

Random thoughts at random times,

Dark humor, my silent crimes.

Imperfect body, tattoos and all,

But you say I'm perfect, and I fall.

Limiting food, losing weight,

Forcing smiles to change my fate.

Long hair, perfect smiles, I try,

But that's not me, no matter how I vie.

What do I do, what do I change,

For you to see me, not feel strange?

Am I worthy of your love and time?

Or just a line in a forgotten rhyme?

Afraid to say too much, ask too much,

Tiptoeing around, avoiding touch.

Afraid to lose you, our friendship, dear,

Opposites attract, but is it clear?

No family, I struggle every day,

Surviving, wondering what's in the way.

Loved too easily, fell too fast,

I'll fake it till I make it, my pain masked.