Chapter Nineteen: HEARTACHE Part 4

Gusion's POV

"Are you okay, man?" Alucard asked.

I frowned at him. "You asked that thrice, Alucard." I sip again in the expensive glass I'm holding.

On the way home from forest, I saw Alucard walking towards the Temple of Light, where he spent his teenage life. I called him. Maybe because I badly wanted to have company even for a while, even we're not that close, I asked him to drink liquor with me. We know each other but never been friends. Surprisingly, he came with me.

When we reached home, we saw Zilong walking through the exit. The Great Dragon have probably sent message to my father. Out of courtesy, we asked him to join us. And he did. So here we are now.

"Yeah, dude." Zilong looked at Alucard. "You asked that thrice. And he didn't answer thrice." He chuckled.

I smiled lazily. "I don't want to talk about her." I could feel, the alcohol's starting to numb my nerves. It was fine. I actually want more. I want to drown myself right now and forget this damn heartache.

Zilong spoke. I didn't know he's talkative as this. "Her? So it's a girl?" He tapped my shoulder. "Dude, I'm telling you, you shouldn't have settle in one girl. There's a lot of them. The ocean was wide."

"Easy to say, Zilong." Alucard snapped. "Wait 'til you fall in love, man."

Zilong grinned widely. "It won't happen."

"I thought it won't happen to me, either." I said, cutting their arguments. "But she came in an unexpected time and situation." I smiled bitterly as a certain memory flashed in my mind. There. Under the tree where I saw a red-haired Goddess holding a black rifle. "I was about to kill her then, but I was taken aback by her beauty." A beauty that turned out to be a curse to me. In her beauty starts my fascination.. my admiration.. my attraction.. my biggest heartache.. "Now I wish, I should have killed her then." I don't know but our memories when we're still happy flowed in my mind. Those times where I kissed her in the tree trunk. When we fought together. We slept, she, leaning in my chest, under the starry sky. We laid in the red roses I've made. I sighed. "No. Maybe if I did kill her then, I probably wouldn't have experienced how to be happy. Real happy." My tears threatened to fall. I pressed my eyes to stop them using my one hand. "I want to beg to her to stay with me. I want to explain. But how the heck would I do that if she's now with someone else? Hell. This is so gay but I can't help this tears from falling. I really love her."

That night I didn't know that my father invited Guinevere to stay overnight. I went out in the garden to think. I want to weigh things between my two choices. Marrying Guinevere was out of them. My two choices were talk to my brothers and my father that I won't agree to their plan. Explain to them that I love someone else. Or leave my family again and live far away from Land of Dawn with Lesley.

I couldn't decide yet when I heard someone was crying. It was Guinevere. I didn't noticed her at first because of my thoughts. I asked her why she was crying but she pushed me away. I knew there was something wrong. I was right. When I held her, her skin was as if in fire. She has high fever. But as she told, she was crying not because she was sick but because she despise that marriage. That she wanted to be free from manipulation of her family but she can't. In that part, I understand her. I felt the same. And I pity her. I told her that I, too hate the family's agreement. I'm inlove with Lesley and that she was not really my bestfriend. I wanted to marry Lesley, only I didn't want to get their family in humiliation. She understood. And promised that she will do anything to help. That if she went back, she will talk to her father to stop the arrangement. I thanked her so I hugged her in a friendly manner. But what the heck. Early in the morning, the two girls were fighting. I saw Guinevere fainted. I know, she's still weak. If she wasn't sick anymore, at least her body was still recovering. I was thinking, if something happens to her, Baroque Family would probably blame me. They will surely gave the responsibility to me. It would jeopardize our plan.

"I told her to wait for me but what the heck. How would she do that if someone's waiting for her somewhere else." I smiled bitterly. Now that I remember. When I gave Lesley a love letter and wrote G as my name. She presumed it was Granger. Jeez! It was him she really love. I'm suck!

'I hate goodbyes

I hate these tears in my eyes

I hate myself for the way I feel about you everytime'

I stop sipping when I heard the music. It came from the rectangular possession of Zilong.

'I've had enough

I'm sick of wishing you were around me

Every day, Every night

It's way too much

I hate love

I hate love'

"I hate love?" Alucard frowned to Zilong. "Turn that off, Zi. You see, Gusion's getting emotional here."

"No. I like the song." I closed my eyes painfully. "I hate love. Who sang that?"

"Claude."

Alucard's eyes widen. "Claude the thief? He can sing?"

"Idiot! Not him. It's Claude Kelly. What, you don't know her?"

"No."

"I don't know her either."

They both laughed. Somehow, they lessen my misery.

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