CHAPTER 31: RYAN

The relief I got from knowing Rose loved the books I bought was something I haven't experienced in a long time.

Credits go to Bree. If she hadn't helped me, I wouldn't have gotten those books. Thanks to her, now I know what books to give Rose.

Other man spoil their girls with jewels and gold. I will spoil mine with the things she loves.

Books.

I don't usually plan dates. I've never planned a date for anyone in my whole life because I never wanted anything to be serious.

But Rose has changed me in many different ways.

Since today is our one year anniversary, I decided to take her out on a picnic in a park. I chose a spot by the lake where not many people were present so me and Rose could be alone.

"Never had I ever thought that I'd see Ryan Hartford set up a picnic for me." Rose said as I placed down our blanket and a basket carrying our picnic essentials.

"Never had I ever thought a girl would make me stay awake a whole night just to come up with a perfect date" I said and looked at Rose.

Her smile grew wider making her eyes small.

I want to make Rose smile like that everyday- everytime we're together. Because to know I'm the reason behind her beautiful smile, that's the most comforting thing to me.

Rose and I sat down on our blanket and I opened the basket to take out our food and drinks.

"This is a date just like in the books." Rose said staring at the sandwiches, fruits and drinks I brought.

"Only, this is not just ink on paper." I placed a soft kiss on her cheek, I didn't miss the pink spreading over her cheeks as she grinned. "Let's eat?"

"Wait." She said and turned to pick the wrapped box behind her.

I saw her grab it when we were leaving, I asked her what it was, she said that I'd find out when we get to our date.

"Are you finally going to tell me what's inside?" I asked

She nodded "you can open it. It's for you." She handed it to me and said "I wanted to gift you something meaningful for our one year anniversary- it was very hard, I almost had a mental breakdown."

"What?"

She looked at me and noticed the worry on my face "don't worry, it wasn't that bad. I just wanted your gift to be perfect and then I came up with this…" She trailed off staring at the box placed in my hand "you know what… I'm not sure if you're going to like it.." she bit her lower lip without taking her eyes off the gift.

I lifted her chin up gently so she was looking at me "sweetheart if you decide to give me poison, I'd gladly take it."

Her eyes widened "okay shut up. I would never give you poison."

"it's an expression."

"Choose a different expression!"

I chuckled "okay." I pecked her lips then looked down at my gift "can I open it now?"

She took a deep breath before saying "yes."

I tried to be gentle but the tape was testing my patience, I ended up ripping off the wrapping paper which made Rose laugh.

Inside the wrapping paper was a small white box. I placed it on my lap and opened it. It contained a black book. On its cover it said 'Golden Days Should Always Be Remembered.'

I looked at Rose, her gaze snapped to mine "it's an album." She said then took it out of the box "it's not an empty album.." she opened the first page and handed it to me.

She turned the album so that I could see the first picture.

The first picture was of my childhood. It was Jack's 5th birthday. We went out to the beach to celebrate it.

In the picture, I was standing beside mom with my arms folded while mom was holding 3 year old Sadie in her arms who was grinning at Jack who was standing in front of us in a hero pose as if the camera man- my father- was about to attack us.

Ironically, his pose seems correct. As if he knew when our father gets a taste of wealth and fame, he will attack us.

Mom had a genuine smile on her face and was staring at the camera- not the camera actually, she was staring at my father- her first and only love- the person she lost to fame and wealth.

In the same picture, I have a smile on my face. That smile was very known because our family was perfect until our father treated wealth like his children and us like objects that didn't matter.

I shook off the thought and started flipping the pages of the album. Rose picked out every childhood picture of mine with my mother in which you can see my grin.

The album included more pictures of me with Sadie, Jack and Finn. From my kindergarten to my graduation.

The last pages of the album included few pictures of our wedding. I'm not smiling in any of those but Rose's smile makes the picture special.

In every picture, she has a genuine smile on her face while standing beside a grump- me- our wedding day wasn't her dream wedding, I wasn't the guy she dreamed of marrying but still her smile didn't budge.

The corner of my lips lifted as I came across the picture of us here in Paris. She took it when we arrived at the hotel, we both were in the balcony and decided to take a picture.

In the picture, I'm busy using my laptop while she's grinning at the camera.

"I like this picture." I said

Rose peeked at the picture and grinned "I'm a good photographer and you're very photogenic." She said

I looked at her with a smile "I love your smile."

Her eyes softened and her smile grew "thank you." She leaned in and pecked my lips "I love yours too. It's unique because you only show it occasionally."

"And you're always the reason."

Her cheeks turned the color of pink then she looked down at the album "do you like it?"

I didn't look away from her "yes. It's an amazing gift."

She looked up with concerning eyes "you mean it?"

I frowned "of course, I mean it." I tilted my head trying to read her expression "why?"

"Well, um.." she put a strand of her hair behind her ear nervously, looking everywhere else but at me "you.. you don't talk about your mom or your past a lot… I wasn't sure if you'd like it. I was scared that it might offend you somehow.." she looked at me with same concerning eyes.

I sighed. I placed the album aside and held her hands, I gently traced her knuckles with my thumb as I said "Dad changed completely when his business took off. His behavior. His choice of words. His love for mom and for his children. It all got fed up by wealth and fame."

I turned Rose's hand and slowly started tracing the lines on her palm.

"He saw us as objects that had no value. In front of him, money and fame was everything. We made one mistake that affected his reputation as a business man, he would flip out." I took a deep breath before continuing "he would yell, throw tantrums, choose the most hurtful words to make us feel like shit."

My fingers stopped tracing her palm, I looked at Rose to find her gaze fixed on me "We hated him. We forgot we had a loving father. He was our father by name only. Despite him being a jerk, mom always loved him. She always ignored his behavior, she took his taunts on behalf of us and no matter how much it hurt her, she always had hope that one day the guy she fell in love with will return, the father of her children will return and we will return to a lovable family."

"Ryan.." Rose's voice cracked just as her eyes filled with tears

"She died with that same hope. He died regretting he didn't change." I finished.

Rose moved closer, she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me, burying her face into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." Her voice contained unshed tears.

I wrapped her legs around my waist, putting her into a comfortable position, I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged back.

"It's okay." I said as I placed a kiss on her shoulder "I love my mom. I just.. it's sometimes hard to think about her knowing that she died hoping that the one person she fell in love with would change."

Rose sniffled and said "I never met your mom but I love her."

Her words made me smile "she would've loved you."

She pulled away from the hug, her eyes were shining with her unshed tears.

"Will you tell me more about her? If that's okay."

The way Rose asked me, I could never say no. But I also don't want to say no because talking about my mom with Rose sounds like a perfect routine.

"I would love to."

Her smile grew. My heart melted.