Falling

I once watched a musical when I was in the dream world, one of the lines that I remember the most was "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory." that's all I could label how I felt in that moment.

How many times had I thought of this? Not in this real realm, but in my Coma Realm? I remember being sad and angry all the time there. My friends, caretakers, and sometimes strangers would have to witness my breakdowns. I felt useless in the Coma Realm. Somehow I felt the same in this realm. In this moment. My senses became numb when I was falling, the wind pushing against my falling figure, the screams of my brothers, the tears that were coming out of my eyes, and the feeling of complete despair, they were all covered up by this numbness that turned into a bittersweet feeling of relief.

Bitter because I had left my family after they had already lost someone in such a way.

Sweet because now... I wouldn't suffer. Now I wouldn't have to feel as if I owe everyone everything that I did. I took the easy way out. I was running away from my problems like a coward and this is where it got me.