Chapter ninety-nine

I open my eyes. My gun clicks. I forgot to load the frigging gun.

The lights are still so bright, they might be permanently burnt in my vision. I let out a groan. I slap my hand over my lips, hoping that Tasmin did not notice and that she's still dancing away. Sure enough, she is.

I scramble for my backpack and shove the Beretta deep inside it. Maybe if I push, push, push hard enough, it'll disappear. It'll melt into the bottom of the bag. Maybe I could disappear with it, too. The tears drop before I feel them. I let out another groan.

I'm sorry, mum. I punch the bag, and I feel like I'm sending electricity through it. I couldn't… I can't do it.

"Harry… Harry!"

Tasmin's beside me in a few seconds and I'm so glad I made the move of hiding the gun quickly. If she had realised…

She drops into the sand and takes my hands away from shielding my face. She holds them tightly in hers while I turn my head from side to side. She's saying "hey, hey, it's okay," over and over.

Soft hands. I smile.

"Are you okay?"

I manage to lift my head. Her face is so blurry, but somehow she still glows. She looks worried. I lower my head and lean towards her, and without a word she pulls me into her, holding me. I feel her hands in my hair and close my eyes.

"Let's go back early."

"I'm sorry, Tasmin."

I'm sorry, mum.

Tasmin

"So, this is it, huh?" Emily's too hyped up for my liking. "Your first date."

"It's not a date." She gives me a look, like, those are lies. "I don't know what it is."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Read the note again."

"Meet him on the highest point of this ship;

An hour after sundown, when most people will be at dinner;

He'll be there;

today and tomorrow;

For you.

Our eyes meet at the same time and we both grin, but I feel a shiver skitter down my spine and heat rise to my cheeks.

"Do you know where that is?"

"I think," I say, heading back over to the mirror to check that my dress looks okay. "I hope." I wish the dress was a little tighter. I practically have no shape. I continue: "I hope that the note doesn't imply that I have to go rock-climbing."

"Or climb Mount Everest."

I hold out the note. "On the ship, Emily."

I adjust the clips in my hair. I stare in the mirror. I look like a sad attempt at an anime character cosplay 'cause Emily did it for me.

"What time's an hour after sundown?" I ask.

The door to the bathroom creaks open. "Eight-forty," Lilli answers. "And Tasmin…"

"Hm?"

"You left your heart-shaped hairs on the wall. Go clean it up."

Harry

I'm still rereading the note when Charlie offers to do up my tie for me.

"I think I can do it myself, thanks," I mutter as he tries to climb onto the bed next to me. I shove him away.

"Hey." He drags the 'ey' on and on. "I'm trying to help."

"I don't need any."

"Let me read the note."

"No."

"You're so moody today."

"You haven't noticed?"

He looms over me like a creep. Then he proceeds to poke his fingers all over my face to stretch my lips into a smile.

"Stop that!"

"Hahaha…" I put my feet on the bed and retreat into the corner. "Cheer up. You have a whole night ahead of you."

Tasmin

"It would probably make sense if we don't have dinner together tonight. As a group, I mean."

"What? Why?"

Lilli sighs. "You and Harry have a planned date and you're meeting at eight-thirty. I'm not saying it would be more romantic, but I'm totally saying that it would be more romantic for you to reveal yourself later rather than sooner."

She's not wrong, but in this case she's actually not right. I'd like to be able to see Harry again, rather sooner than later, after what happened earlier. I don't know why he cried, and it came as a surprise that Harry, of all people, would be susceptible to tears… in front of me.

I roll my eyes. "There's no difference." Then I grin. "But I appreciate the thought, Lil —"

The door beeps and then creaks open and Lilli screams, so I scream, and even Emily — who's in the shower — screams.

"HEY!" Lilli stomps over to the still-opening door. "What the —"

I make my way over.

"Ben?" He's holding the door, looking kind of startled (like he should be the startled one). "What are you doing here?"

"No, the real question is how did you get in here? You can't just barge in! We could've been… informally-dressed," Lilli barks.

Ben grins stupidly, then bites his lip. "To answer both of your questions, one…" He turns to me. "Harry wants you to know that he won't be coming to dinner, but he still wants to meet you."

I frown. "He's not coming to dinner? Why? Let me go talk to him."

"He has an answer for that too: no." He faces Lilli. "And two…" He holds up an ID card. "Emily dropped this earlier, so I picked it up. Is Emily here?" He peers over our shoulders, into the cabin.

Clearly, someone needs a lesson on stewardship of one's belongings.

"She's showering," I respond.

"We'll see you at dinner," Lilli says, plucking the ID card from Ben and pressing the door closed. "Bye."

Five minutes later, Emily comes out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around her middle.

"Did Ben drop by?" she asks.

"Yeah, and he left you your ID card," Lilli says, holding it out. "Don't lose it! And especially don't lose it to him. Ben just barged in here like he owned the place!"

Emily rolls her eyes.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, yes, I heard you!"

I think for a second.

"Hey, Em."

"Yeah?"

"Lilli and I screamed when Ben came into the room, but you did too. Why?"

"Oh." Emily grins. "I accidentally squirted shampoo in my face while I was singing."

"How the hell did you do that!?" Lilli questions.

"I was using the shampoo bottle as a microphone," Emily replies, and Lilli and I both facepalm.

Oh, Emily.