Chapter 6

The winter had never been this melancholic. The sorrow overflowed her heart, it was too much. That kind of bitter pain. That type of pain when crying was not enough anymore. It was the pain that you have to endure within yourself. Let it hurt until it feels like a part of you. Make the pain a part of you.

The way the wedding dress hugged her figures felt like a chain around her body, tying her to this life she never once thought she would live. Everything annoyed her — no, in fact, she hated everything.

The way they did her hair makes her want to rip her hair out.

The way they did her make-up makes her want to burn her face on the fireplace.

The way the dress weighed her down made her want to cry. Cry the loudest that she can — until her tears run out and she would numb.

She hated it. She hated everything about it, but there was no other way to live this life of hers. The moment she gave herself up there was no way of turning back.

Hermione stared at the window as she hauled for air. Witches and wizards on high floors arrived with their brooms, while the others were in thestral carriages. As they say, her and their wedding was something to be witnessed. The snow was deep up to the knees, but it did not seem to be bothersome for these people.

If you look at it the other way, this wedding would have looked lovely and a dream come true for every woman. If only she could switch places with someone. Someone who would appreciate all of these. Someone who would be much happier to marry the only Malfoy heir.

Everything was ready. Everyone was ready, but not Hermione.

"Miss Granger? Are you ready?" Sharon asked from outside her bedroom.

"Coming!" She announced, her voice a little brittle.

She closed the curtain of her window and marched towards the door. Her hands were trembling, reluctant to even touch the door knob.

"Mione."

Hermione froze on her feet. Her breath hitched after hearing the familiar voice.

She turned quickly, her whole body felt weak, and her eyes finally dared to provide the sorrowful tears she needed to let out.

"R-Ron?" She whispered his name as tears raced down her cheeks.

He smiled as he studied her and stood there, wearing a beautiful wedding dress.

"Y-you look — uhm — stunning," he said as he swiftly dried his tears with the back of his hand.

"Ron... How? W-what did you—"

Ron chuckled, his eyes still glossy with tears. "Floo," he replied as he patted the dust off his faded black winter coat.

Hermione locked the door with shaky hands and threw herself on him.

"No. Don't hug me - you'll ruin your dress," Ron whispered as he blinked tears, taking a step away from her.

"I don't care..." She said between her sobs.

She felt Ron's strength embrace her, pouring warmness onto her as he tightened his grip on her waist.

"I missed you..." He whispered into her ear, making her melt against him.

"I missed you too... so much," she replied, burying her face into his chest.

"Mione?"

"Hmm?"

"I- I have to go now—"

"So soon?" She asked, on the verge of breaking down, simply locking her arms around him.

"I shouldn't be here with you..." He whispered as he pulled away, unclasping her desperate grasp.

"No... don't go, please?" She reached for his hands.

"Listen to me, Mione," he said as he cupped her tear-stained face. "I love you..."

"I love you too—"

"But I have to go—"

Her eyes alertly blinked, scared to let go of his arms.

"Then take me with you... please? I can't be here any longer— I — I just can't— Please take me with you..." Hermione pleaded as she brought his hand closer to her lips. Showered his bruised knuckles with kisses whilst she begged him to take her with him.

"Mione, please— we can't do this—" said Ron.

"No— please," she begged more, her shoulders shaking as she cried.

"It's nice to see you for the last time, Mione—" Ron said softly.

"No! Ron! Don't leave me here... Please? I love you— please Ron?"

Hermione's hopes fell down, crashing on the floor, the moment Ron stepped a foot on the fireplace.

He looked at her for the last time, still smiling despite the tears and longing in his eyes. Ron mirrored the downhearted expression on the bride, crying on the floor.

"Mione?" He called.

"Yes?" She answered with hope as she stood, stumbling on her heels, expecting him to change his mind and take her with him.

"Wake up and close your window," he said as he glanced at her frosty window and disappeared into the roaring green flames.

Hermione's face was damped with sweat as she woke up from her dream. It felt like she suddenly resurfaced out from the waters. She threw a fist to her chest as she processed the strange dream she had — catching her breath as she seemed to be lost from that deep dive of dreams.

"Wake up and close your window."

She felt chills on her skin, turning her head sharply at her window. The curtains danced freely with the winter breeze entering the widely open frosty window of her bedroom.

Hermione steeled as she stared at the window. Completely creeped out. Her mind began to gather theories correlating her dream, or if that even makes sense.

"Wake up and close your window."

As Ron's voice rang in her head, she rolled off her bed, with her blanket wrapped around her nakedness, and sprinted towards her window. She could hear the winter breeze whistle, filling the tranquillity of the surroundings.

It demanded her a bit of force as the window frame froze to the ruthless winter chill. As the window shut close, warmth began to crawl on her skin, only to realize that flames were already dancing on her fireplace.

She scarcely remembered if she lit the fireplace before bedtime.

Hermione sank to her rocking chair by the window, staring blankly at the flames filling her bedroom with warmth. She huddled with her blanket, forcing herself to be comfortable as she could not bear to return to her bed with her mind going wild with thoughts.

Her eyes switch from the window and fireplace, hoping Ron would appear in the flames and hug her once more before she ties the knot with Malfoy in a few hours. Though she knew it was impossible. Narcissa had blocked her fireplace out of reach from anyone. Still, she waited until her eyelids felt heavier. Memories of Ron and Harry played in her head, and they sounded real. Their voices echo in her head, a comfortable sound driving her to sleep.

****

The Malfoy Manor was loud and busy by the morning. Christmas music played joyfully from the enchanted musical instruments at the great hall. It was a lively morning as they prepared for the wedding. Narcissa kept yelling at her elves, ordering them around. One elf kept checking her in her bedroom while she prepared as ordered by Narcissa in case she lost track of time and ruin the big event.

"Are you ready yet?" Narcissa finally asked Hermione personally, crossing her arms as she stood by the door, wearing her elegant crystal blue evening gown, embroidered with fine threads and crystals. Her blonde hair was up in a clean bun, exposing her dangling diamond earrings.

"Almost," Hermione replied, not turning her head — Sharon was busy applying her make-up.

Narcissa skimmed at the clock. It was already a quarter to eight. "I expect you to be in your dress by nine," she ordered and left to check on her son.

"Deep breaths," Sharon advised with a quick smile, noticing the discomfort in Hermione's expression.

Hermione reciprocated the smile and hauled deep breaths that felt like blades down her throat.

"Lovely!" Amanda said, clapping her hands in excitement as they finished Hermione's hair and make-up. It was not too much make-up but was enough to emphasize her facial figures and add colour to her pale face. There was gentle pink on both of her cheeks. Highlights on her face glimmered softly upon the touch of light. Straight-sleek eyebrows were neatly brushed, and her natural curly eyelashes were enhanced with volume - emphasizing her deep-set eyes. Red lipstick was perfectly painted on her perfect soft lips. They did a classic wedding updo to her hair — perfect for her veil and a few locks of her fringes beautifully set on the side of her face to enhance the look.

The corners of her eyes stung, trying so hard not to ruin her make-up with her tears. Her emotions felt like being locked up inside a tiny glass bottle. All she could conclude about her feelings was it was dreadful and heavy.

"Time for your dress, dear," Sharon reminded.

Somehow, Hermione could not stop herself from staring at Sharon. She resembled Mrs Weasley. The hair, her figure, and the way she speaks. Her chest tightened. She missed her, especially since she was unsure of where she was. She never saw Mrs Weasley with the Order — she did not even have the chance to ask anyone. More like, she could not manage to ask anyone as she could not bear one more piece of news of someone close to her heart dying.

"Y-you look- uhm- stunning..."

Hermione swallowed the urge to cry. Ron's voice filled her head again. She had never heard his voice as broken as that. If only Ron knew, he was always in her mind — even if she would be marrying Draco. Even if she will be sharing her whole life with Malfoy. Even if she had to sleep in the same bed with Malfoy, her heart would always beat for Ron. She wondered if he knew that — if he ever wanted to know that.

They were careful as they assisted Hermione with her dress. After a few struggles, she was finally on her dress. It fit her perfectly, yet the suffocating feeling never left her body. The bottle of her emotions will soon break if she does not let go of some. She wanted air. She wanted to cry, and she wished to ease that heavy load in her chest.

"We'll let you have a moment dear," Sharon said softly, nodding her head as she understood her.

Hermione's knees almost buckled. Finally, for once, someone understood her.

"Don't worry about your make-up," Amanda whispered and winked an eye at her. "I used a special charm to make them smudge-free," she added, twirling her wand in her fingers.

"Thank you..." Hermione mouthed.

The two replied with a smile before exiting her bedroom.

Hermione wandered her eyes inside her bedroom, a very bride-like bedroom. Her bouquet sat on her bed, and her reception dress was worn by a mannequin — everything she needed for the wedding and the reception was ready. Hermione never imagined her wedding to be like that at all. She landed her eyes on the fireplace. The fireplace where Ron appeared from her dreams, giving her one last embrace. If only Ron would appear in that fireplace, she would beg him to take her with him until her knees bleed.

She breathed heavily and nervously licked her dry lips as she walked with weighted steps towards the full-body mirror in the room. The lace of her dress felt itchy on her back as her half-million galleon wedding dress hugged her figures. Hermione ran her soft hands on the luxurious patterns of her dress as she stared at it. The precious stones reflected the light of her surroundings. Everything was just too heavy to absorb at that moment. Her sadness filled her head. She thought she would burst into bloody pieces if she will not let go of the tears building up in her eyes. She wanted to cry out loud. But no. There was no way she could do that there. Instead, she forcedly inhaled despite the heaviness in her chest and took it all in, yet the tears fell from her eyes, betraying her.

She blinked her tears away as she shut her lips tight, rapidly wiping off the tears on her cheeks. A sob almost escaped her lips when she heard the sound of his boots against the floor. She prayed to all gods to let her compose herself before he got near her.

"For the Order, for the Order... This is for the Order..." she whispered to herself. A lone tear managed to escape.

The light that the mirror reflected dimmed as he arrived behind her. The scent of mints, green grapes, and the mood that set itself around her. The instance she felt his presence, she very well knew it was Draco, her soon-to-be husband.

"Do wipe your tears, Granger. You wouldn't want the Dark Lord to see your face tear-stained in your wedding dress," he whispered into her ear as he tucked a loose strand of her hair on her ear. "Soon after this wedding, you will be carrying my name. I don't want my soon-to-be wife walking the centre aisle towards me and shedding tears for someone who's clearly not here," Draco added as he gazed at her glossy eyes in the mirror.

"Planning to escape huh?" He muttered with disappointment as he fixed his tie.

Hermione remained silent, staring at her reflection with Draco behind her. He wore his expensive white suit, his hair slicked back as always, and his face painted with a bitter and cold expression.

He might have just realized the new life he was about to live after the wedding.

"We'll be waiting for you downstairs."

If only she could ask to see Ron - be with Ron for a minute...

Draco's eyes darkened disapprovingly, "you know what happened the last time you asked me to bring you to him," he said, giving her the answer to the question in her mind.

Hermione let out a shaky breath, her shoulders tensed as she closed her eyes. "Stop reading my mind just for today, Malfoy," she pleaded in a whisper, brushing off a tear with the back of her hand.

"You know I have to," Draco replied as he waved his wand, then a steak knife landed on Draco's hand. The steak knife which she stole after dinner last night. "You sacrificed your life to save them — if you die... they will die too. So, you better be on your best behaviour, Granger." He summoned another steak knife from her drawer and caught it effortlessly.

"I know what you're trying to do. I've been very patient with you Granger, and you will do the same. You will listen to me," he said firmly.

The two steak knives exploded before her eyes.

"Carry my name in dignity. No Malfoy will cut their skin only because of a moment of weakness."

Draco stormed out angrily, leaving her alone with no chance of escape.

After Draco left, Sharon entered Amanda back inside her bedroom to assist her in putting on her veil.

Good thing she chose the thicker veil.