Outsider

Aisha squeaked as a massive weight all of a sudden latched itself to the back of her body, a pair of milky arms circling around her neck and constricting. She tried vainly to turn her head and see - just who the hell would hug a demon from the back and - and nuzzle her like this, but whoever was hugging her was STRONG.

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A pair of breasts pressed into her back, and suddenly, Aisha felt herself go weightless as she was suddenly yanked backwards, falling into the lap of the stranger.

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"Kitty!" The woman giggled, her voice cool and smooth, a stark contrast from her childish and impulsive actions. "Soooooo cuuuuuuuute! Nyan nyan nyan nyaaa! Oh, can you meow for me, pleeeeeeaaaaase? PLEEEEEEEEAAAASE!?"

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"Wha-" Aisha yelped incredulously. "Who are you?! Are you from - from heaven?"

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"Haaaauuu?" The stranger pouted. "Nyoooo… Me? I'm just an adventurer…"

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The grip around her neck loosened, and Aisha craned her head around to see a handsome looking woman, a wide grin on her face, with pointy ears and blonde hair. Her eyes were closed in contentment - how impulsive could a woman get - assaulting someone and then leaving herself completely unguarded?

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"You're an elf." Aisha said nervously, as the adventurer cooed and leaned forward to nuzzle Aisha's cheek, her soft body making the shorter girl flush.

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"Ehehee…" The elf purred. "Guilty as charged, nyan~"

"Why are you the one meowing…"

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"Ehhh?" The elf grinned, opening her eyes and showing off the brilliant, rainbow kaleidoscope in her eyes, changing colors with every shift of the light. Along with the brilliant, blue plate nestled in her chest.

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"Does that mean you'll meow for me?" The elf cooed, removing her arms from Aisha's shoulders.

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(She's the same rank as me…) Aisha's eyes widened, seeing the sapphire plate on the woman's chest.

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The fey girl was suddenly made aware of… the pressure being exerted by this woman. She had mistaken it for the arms around her shoulders before, but now… It was like there was an anvil on top of her head, forcing her downwards, weighing down on her shoulders.

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This was not an ordinary woman. She was at least as strong as Aisha. At least.

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Aisha's mouth suddenly went dry.

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"Um…" She mouthed pitifully. "S-so…"

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"LIBERTA!" Someone shouted. "Where the hell did you go!?"

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Aisha's ears twitched, and she frowned. That one wasn't under her control.

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"Over here!" The elf - Liberta, Aisha assumed, shouted back.

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"I'm so sick of your shit!" The voice snarled, getting louder as it came closer to the two girls. Aisha didn't even struggle as Liberta's mouth curled into a pout, and her arms circled around her waist, hugging her close to her body.

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Liberta was warm.

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Aisha's ears flickered curiously, even as she swatted a persistent hand away from her head. Despite trudging through the forest and treeline, the footsteps made a strange sound. Or rather, despite the forest floor being littered with dead leaves and branches, Aisha heard no snapping twigs, no crunching leaves. Just the sound of feet on dirt.

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And when the man came into view, Aisha's eyes narrowed.

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A pair of twitching ears on top of his head, and face tattooed lightly, a fey stepped into the clearing, ornate bow in hand, and dressed in simple, yet intrinsically patterned leathers.

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Aisha knew those tattoos. Knew those clothes. Knew that bow.

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"Shi'en…" She mumbled under her breath.

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"Hmmm?" Liberta mused curiously. "What was that, Miss Meow?"

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"What the hell did you do this time?" Shi'en grumbled, Liberta's body blocking Aisha's from view. "Find a stray cat? Did a coin roll away?"

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Aisha's hairs bristled, as Shi'en's face came into view, first spotting the body in Liberta's arms.

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"Hey." He said disapprovingly, his face in an annoyed frown. "You can't just assault random people."

"Miss Meow is okay with it…" Liberta pouted. "Right? Nyan nya nya nya?"

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"Miss Meow?" Shi'en scrunched up his face in confusion, walking closer to take a closer look at Aisha, to which the girl responded by burying her face into Liberta's shoulder, much to the delight of the tall elf.

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Catching the sight of Aisha's ears, Shi'en's face grew even more confused.

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"A fey? Out here? You-"

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Those dark red eyes peered into Shi'en's dark greens, and suddenly, the fey man stepped back, visibly surprised.

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"Ai'sa?" He asked incredulously.

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"I don't go by that name anymore." Aisha mumbled, attempting to leave Liberta's lap.

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However, Liberta didn't seem to agree with that.

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"Let her go." Shi'en demanded. "What are you doing?"

"Ehhh?" Liberta drawled. "I don't want to."

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"I'm not asking." Shi'en's face darkened. "She may be extradited, but she is still of the feywood, and you will treat her with respect."

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"I don't need your patronage." Aisha mumbled. "Shien. If I was still considered Stijia, then they wouldn't have kicked me out in the first place."

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Shi'en's eye twitched. "You doing that on purpose?"

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"Doing what?" Aisha muttered. "Shien."

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"I see you haven't lost your grudge." The fey man scoffed, crossing his arms.

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"There is no grudge." Aisha muttered. "It is simply a part of myself that I do not acknowledge anymore."

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"Your ancestry isn't something that you can just throw away!" Shi'en shouted angrily. "You represent our clan!"

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"Hmph. How hypocritical."

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"You-"

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"Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow~" Liberta hummed softly, cuddling and squeezing Aisha in her arms.

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"-not have the markings, but the magics of the feywood-"

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"Hey, Miss Meow?" Liberta asked eagerly, smiling. "Want some food?"

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The corners of Aisha's mouth couldn't help but twist up into a smile, an expression that Shien didn't share.

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"Shut up, idiot!" He burst. "Can't you see that we're having a conversation!?"

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"I think Miss Meow wants nothing to do with you." Liberta pouted in a cutesy voice. "I think you're just assaulting a poor little meow meow because you're jealous."

"I am not." Shi'en deadpanned.

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"Yeah." Aisha drawled. "I'm sure he is swimming in women back home. That's why he came here."

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Shi'en's eye twitched.

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"You don't know anything about home." He muttered, shaking his head.

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"Let me guess." Aisha asked sarcastically. "The Pharos is under attack by the infected mass."

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"W- that's not all. But regardless, you are shirking your duty as Stijia!"

"Aren't you also shirking your duty?"

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Aisha pointed at the platinum plate hanging off Shi'en's neck, and a small part of her relished the slight annoyed twitch in his eyebrow. She knew she was just playing word games with the man at this point - they were just arguing over essentially nothing.

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A wise person would walk away and return to whatever they were doing previously. But well, Aisha had nothing else to do.

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"I am here on request of the elders." Shi'en said stiffly. "I am to request help to repel the demi-hume empires, and to do that I require leverage."

"Demi-humes…" Aisha shook her head, barking out a short laugh. "Appropriating the humes' insults for your own. How sad."

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"Don't change the subject!" Shi'en snapped.

"What subject?" Aisha scoffed. "There is no conversation. You're just projecting your own problems on me. Go home, and go chase after Klei for the ninetieth time, I'm sure-"

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"I'm sick of your shit!" Shi'en fumed. "Shut up! You will- will-"

"You're not an elder, and not even of my den!" Aisha laughed. "You have no grounds to tell me to do anything. Although maybe if you were an elder, Klei would have-"

"This has nothing to do with her!" The fey man snarled, although the redness in his face said otherwise. "You trying to goad me into a fight!?"

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"She always was fonder of me than you."

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Shien balled up a fist next to him, an outcome that Aisha had predicted easily. Aisha rolled her eyes. It was so easy to rile people up, when they never bothered to hide the expressions on their faces.

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For a fey of the Pharos, it was especially easy. Nobody ever bothered to hide their expressions, since they never learned how to read them. It was unnecessary.

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But that all changed when Aisha was born. All of a sudden, all that trust… someone who could so easily read them, but couldn't be read in turn… the elders despised that. Everyone hated that. Especially Shien.

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Aisha raised her arm to deflect the spell that would soon come out of the forest. She knew fey magic well enough, soon, roots and lasers would be spewing out of the treeline like angry hornets - with massive power but little control. Shi'en looked like he wasn't attempting to harm her, to his credit, but Aisha still didn't intend on responding with anything less than a complete humil-

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"Now now, we shouldn't fight!" Liberta pouted. "You're both cute kitties."

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Aisha was suddenly blasted onto her ass by what felt like a cannonball to her entire body, launching her a good few meters backwards. Her clothes flapped wildly in the wind as the dirt kicked up violently in her face, like she was in the brunt of a hurricane. She tried vainly to get a foothold onto the ground, but it was no use - the winds, even on her enhanced body, were managing to force her off the ground, her boots a solid few feet off the ground.

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Trying to open her eyelids yielded the same result - it was almost like they were glued shut, the immense pressure on her face pushing her lips and nose haphazardly.

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And as soon as it started, Aisha suddenly was being forced towards the ground by gravity, the immense pressure on her skin disappearing without a trace. Distinctly, she felt the sensation of a pair of arms trying to catch her, but regardless, she ended up in a heap on the ground, covered in dirt and panting heavily.

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"Oops." Liberta laughed cheekily. "Too much?"

"Auhhhh…"

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Aisha grimaced as she felt the dirt in her hair and on her scalp, hooking a finger into her ponytail and removing the hair tie. Shaking her head like a wet dog, Aisha was dismayed to find that the motion did in fact, not even make a noticeable difference in the amount of grime that was now stuck to her.

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But, with a pleased expression, she noted that Shi'en was in an equally - no, worse, state than her.

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"Dammit, Liberta!" He roared, coughing and spitting dirt out of his mouth. "What the hell!?"

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"I don't usually use my powers for making walls." The elf pouted, laughing. "Oooooops. Looks like I used tooo much."

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Aisha looked upwards, and her eyes widened. The clouds had parted above them - just how powerful was this woman!?

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"Whatever." Shi'en spat a rock out of his mouth. "...I apologize for my outburst. We have to turn in our contract anyways. Fuck this."

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Aisha flipped Shi'en off to his face.

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"Goodbye, little kitty!" Liberta smiled gleefully, waving energetically. "I hope I'll see you at the guild!"

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And just like that, they were gone.

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"...Weirdos."

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Aisha cursed to herself as she trudged into the small Sakuran village, still picking dirt from her skin and clothes. It seemed to be stuck to her like tar - all that was missing was the feathers, and she would look as foul as she felt.

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Running into a fellow village-mate was an unpleasant, and unwelcome surprise. It reminded her of that part of her that she had cast away - having received nothing but a pair of cute little ears for her years of grief.

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"It's no longer part of me." Aisha muttered. "That doesn't matter anymore."

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(Your thoughts suggest otherwise.)

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"Shut up." Aisha grumbled.

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Or rather, it was part of her that she herself didn't acknowledge - the ears on her head would forever brand her as a member of the accursed high fey.

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The encounter with Shien stung - not just because she was dirty, but because she had thought she would never have had to see another fey from that accursed place. She had never thought that someone else would have left.

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(Your memories of that place are foggy.) Aiyu whispered into her head. (...Why is that?)

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(I don't want to talk about it.) Aisha thought back, her mood soured. (It's not important.)

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(It seems quite important. Important enough to hide from me.)

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Aisha stopped abruptly in her tracks, her boots crunching on the ground. Her face was neutral, unreadable, but unfortunately, there was no way she could hide her discomfort and irritation from the demon literally living inside of her mind.

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(What happened there?) Aiyu asked.

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(Nothing,)

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(Don't you trust me?)

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(I do. Nothing happened. That's the truth.)

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(...)

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The voice in her head went quiet.

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As soon as Aisha came into view of the little village, a few heads turned to look at her. The fluffy tails and ears, as well as the long, flowing clothing were a new sight, but the slightly suspicious stares were all too familiar.

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Those damn stares. Her encounter with Shi'en, and now, these people - they had the same look. That look that told her - that she didn't belong. That she was an outsider. That she would never be one of them - that people would always be on their guard around her - that - that -

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The feelings suddenly came flooding back, an immense anger, sadness, rage… Her hands balled up into fists, her nails piercing her palms. Dammit, why couldn't they just… she would rather be ignored… better… ignored, than those damn - those damn expressions…

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The fox woman was better at hiding it, but there was no lying to Aisha - she was too good… too aware… of how different she was. Of how monstrous she was now, or rather, now that her monstrous exterior matched the ugliness inside…

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Not that they were wrong to be suspicious of Aisha - In fact, if she were on the other side of the interaction, she would have chased her away. But still, the looks… the looks…

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(Stop looking at me.) She screamed. (Stop looking at me.)

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(STOP LOOKING AT ME DAMMIT!)

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And yet, one of the villagers stepped forwards to greet her, a pair of big fluffy ears on her head, and one long, flowing, foxtail. She approached with a smile on her face, although her eyes told a different story - as soon as they locked on to the horns on Aisha's head, they grew suspicious and guarded.

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"I'm just here to clean up and buy some clothes." Aisha mumbled. "I-"

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Shoot. That was right. She was in a different part of the world now, they didn't speak -

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"We welcome you to our village, traveler." The woman said, bowing graciously. "There is a river to the east, and I'm sure we can scrounge up some clothes for you."

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Aisha blinked, a variety of thoughts rushing through her head. She had offered hospitality on behalf of the entire village, by herself? Moreover - her expression was still incredibly suspicious. Thirdly, Aisha realized that she was supposed to bow back - but most pressingly -

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"You speak common?" Aisha blurted out, bending in an extremely clumsy and hurried bow.

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"Yes."

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"Does… does everyone here speak common?" Aisha asked, her brows furrowing.

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"Yes." The fluffy nodded. "Are you surprised?"

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Aisha nodded.

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"Our native language was phased out a long time ago." The woman explained. "It's a dialect now used by nobles and generals."

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"How long ago?" Aisha asked.

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"I do not know."

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Aisha nodded, although something still weighed on her mind like a stone. Something wasn't exactly right - she just couldn't place her finger on it. But the woman wasn't lying - she really didn't know. Aisha supposed she couldn't really expect the fox woman to know anything, after all, she was just some random villager in an outskirt town.

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She let it go, despite the gnawing in the back of her mind.

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The fox took Aisha's silence as a sign to continue speaking.

"If you follow me, I can lead to you the river, or if you want, we can draw you a hot-"

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"Wait." Aisha blurted out again, another issue coming to her mind. "I… I don't have any money."

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The magistrate had stripped her of all her possessions before her banishment. Aisha, of course, had snuck back in to steal Sen's journal, and mistress's scarf, but unfortunately, it seemed like all her other possessions had been repurposed or seized.

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The loss of her wallet had kind of stung. She had never really spent any of the money, as she had wanted to save some of it for mistress…

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"It's no issue to us." The woman smiled again, another fake smile. Her eyes and ears spoke to her disapproval.

"I can work."

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"There's no need." Again, a lie. She wanted Aisha to work.

"I insist.".

"There is really no need."

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"..."

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There was a long pause. Aisha was tempted to just walk away, but she really wanted a bath and a hot meal.

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"No…" She said, extremely slowly, her eyes narrowing. "I really… want… to work... Please."

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"Well, if you insist, then there is really no helping it, is there? It would be rude to refuse such a request."

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The other villagers nodded in approval, and the fox's expression shifted to a less hostile one, contrasting the sourness in Aisha's head, although she dared not show it. Some strange custom…

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"Yeah… what do you guys need…"

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It was sundown by the time Aisha had finished working, her limbs dirty, and now also sweaty, the dirt and sweat combining on her skin to create a disgusting sludge of filth. Chopping trees for the villagers had been a somewhat relaxing exercise of physical labor, getting a bit of warmth in her back and shoulders, and at the end of it, she felt like the distrustful gazes had lessened in number.

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Before long, Aisha had finished her work, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't excited to try one of the famous Sakuran bath houses that she had heard about, from both the Arcadian empire, and the…

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The other place.

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But it wasn't long before she ran into an issue.

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"What's wrong?" The fox woman asked, a bit of (real) concern in her voice. "Are you…"

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Halfway into stripping off her shirt, in the middle of the public bathhouse, Aisha was suddenly made painfully aware of an… issue, in her chest.

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The inhuman mouth emit a constant stream of warm, damp air, reminding her of… the consequences of taking too many foreign souls inside of herself. The horns on her head were excusable, since they were kind of cute, but the same thing could not be said about the gaping hole in her chest.

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That would not be explainable.

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"I would rather change alone." Aisha mumbled, her fox benefactor furrowing her eyebrows in response. The middle-aged woman struggled with her words, clearly, something on her mind, but trying to find a tactful way to mention it.

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"If there is an issue with… um… your gender, then-"

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"No, it's not that!" Aisha corrected hastily. "I just have… uh. Scars."

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"Oh. Then feel free to use a towel. Although you will still have to clean yourself."

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"That's fine."

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Thankfully, Aisha had been able to navigate the cleaning room without anything egregious occurring, although hiding her chest constantly was annoying, to say the least. Being an outsider garnered enough stares, but if that wasn't bad enough, people were starting to look at her like she was… some kind of crossdresser.

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Her mind instantly thought of Aryn, the elf, and Kayle -

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"Ugh." She mumbled under her breath, stepping into the water.

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The bad thoughts instantly went away, and Aisha couldn't help but let out a soft, pleased mewl as she was enveloped by the warm waters, her cold, tired limbs suddenly suffused by a soft warmth.

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Her eyelids fluttered softly as she sank into the warm bath, letting her entire body relax, for what felt like the first time in months.

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It felt like… it reminded her of sleeping together with mistress. Of cuddling together under the blankets, while a pair of warm arms and legs tangled together with her own…

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It made her a little sad. This was… an experience she wanted to share with her…

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"Are you an adventurer, outsider?"

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Aisha turned her head, her face half submerged in the water, to meet the kitsune who had sunk into the bath with her.

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"You looked through my stuff?" She frowned. She had purposely hidden her plate underneath her clothes - she didn't exactly want to advertise her status, although it was more just habit than caution at this point.

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"Forgive me." The kitsune said, bowing her head slightly in the water. "I was just curious as to where you had come from. You remind me of my daughter."

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Ah. This was a trap. The fact that she hadn't seen such a daughter meant that she wasn't in the village. And that meant, most likely…

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Aisha didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted to enjoy the bath, it felt so nice… the pressure on her arms, trying to lift her up… if she concentrated hard enough, it felt like mistress's arms on her chest, lifting her up to nuzzle…

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"The shogunate tells me that she is still active in duty." The fox woman sighed sadly.

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Oh. She was going to talk about it anyway.

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Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"I know, though."hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" She used to send letters."hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"She doesn't anymore."hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"She was a great mage."hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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"She was cute, just like you."

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"Wearily, Aisha looked at the mother's saddened expression, feeling just the slightest bit of guilt and sympathy for the woman.

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The woman had taken care of her, despite not trusting her, just because she reminded her a bit of her dead daughter… At the very least, she deserved a hug…

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Aisha sighed inaudibly and wrapped her arms around the stranger, sinking her cheek into the woman's collar affectionately.

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She was surprisingly warm, for a stranger. Although the warmth felt… distant. Like it wasn't meant for her…

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"Oh my." The fox gasped. "You were a boy after all? I'm flattered… Huh?"

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Aisha's eyes widened, and her blood ran cold as the fox woman looked down into the waters, seeing the wide, pink appendage rubbing up against her stomach, only barely obscured by the steam of the artificially heated spring.

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All the warmth from the bath drained immediately, and Aisha's mouth went dry. The woman was horrified, she could tell. She didn't have to look. She didn't have to look. Or rather, she shouldn't look, she should just leave - yeah, leave, LEAVE-

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"Wait-"

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That was right. She was no longer… she could no longer pretend to be human. She was a monster. There was no pretending now, she killed, she stole, and now, her appearance matched.

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She consumed souls to live. There was no escaping it - nobody would love her - or- or even -

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Aisha's foot caught on a rock and she fell to the ground, face dripping with sweat, panting heavily for air. Her eyes stung, and she couldn't even tell if it was from sweat, or from the tears that were dripping down her cheeks.

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Mistress would never love her now. What had she done to herself?

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That suffocating feeling came back. She felt like… she felt like she was dying. Like there was a vice on her throat, slowly choking her out.

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Maybe - maybe - maybe - maybe -

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(Snap out of it!)

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Aisha gasped as an intense jolt of sensation lanced through her stomach, like an electric current that spread throughout her entire body. Her body seized up, and she quickly face planted in the dirt as her limbs lost energy.

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(You don't get to quit.) Aiyu said, her voice cold, distant. Like she was above Aisha, speaking down to her.

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"What's the point." Aisha choked out. "I'm… I'm further from her than ever. I should have never-"

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(THINK ABOUT EVERYONE WHO YOU'VE KILLED!) Aiyu shouted. (EVERYONE WHOSE LIVES YOU RUINED! EVERYONE WHO DIED FOR YOU!)

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Aisha bit her lip, bitterness welling up in her chest.

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"I didn't ask for this." She whispered, her voice cracking.

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(Nobody asked for - this.) Aiyu said quietly. (I didn't ask to be created. And yet, here I am. By your hand.)

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"I don't want to go on anymore." Aisha whimpered. "I don't… I can't…"

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"What you want is irrelevant."

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"But I-"

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"You owe it to the world. To that woman. You OWE it to her. To at least let her hate you, before you give up. You don't get to have her forever pining over you. You don't get to QUIT, after so many lives have been lost for you."

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"..."

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"Achieve your goals. Fulfill your promises. Then you can quit."

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That time… the voice didn't come from inside of her head. And when Aisha looked upwards, a pair of shadowy red eyes looked back at her.