Chapter 1: Where is she?

"I was five years old when she died," stated Joshua in a low, morbid tone. "Everyone says she died in a car crash," continued Joshua. "They lied, though... I killed her." A tear rolled down Joshua's cheek as he yelled from the top of his lungs. "I KILLED HER, I KILLED HER, I KILLED HER!". Authorities rushed to hold him down as the doctor injected Midazolam. Joshua struggled to free himself from their grasp, but all he felt was a long, cold needle pierce his skin. As a soft groan escaped from his lips, his struggle ended. 

Everything went black. Joshua woke up in a padded room with a straight jacket. In front of him was a mirror, but behind that mirror was a crew of men watching him. A few minutes went by, and Joshua heard a door open and then close. Then a woman's voice came over the speaker. "Joshua," said the voice in a calm and comforting tone. "Joshua, it's nice to meet you. I'm Tina Millers. I'll be your new therapist." Joshua's expression changed from a dead and gloomy expression to a wide-eyed shock. "I'll be seeing you in my office soon." Tina left the room behind the mirror, and nurses dressed in full white came in and took him. They brought him to the bathroom to freshen up and escorted him to Tina's office. 

The nurses opened the door to Tina's office and pushed him in. Behind him, he heard a familiar voice—Tina's voice. In a soft and eccentric tone, she said, "Welcome, Joshua. I'm Tina, your new therapist." With a smile on her face, Tina held out her hand for a shake. Joshua stared at Tina for a moment, then grabbed her hand. In a gruff tone, he said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Tina." Slightly concerned, a wrinkle formed between her eyebrows. A soft, awkward chuckle came out as she offered him a seat. Joshua sat after a moment of hesitation. The two stared at each other, and the awkward silence continued. After about what felt like eternity, the silence was broken by a tall man who barged into the office. "TINA TINA TINA, you won't believe what I saw!" The man who entered the office yelled with such enthusiasm that it was almost sickening to Joshua. 

Tina quickly faced the door and saw that her husband, Edward, had entered the room. As he approached her desk, Tina looked at him with an annoyed expression and said in a singsong tone, "Edward." "Yes, honey?" said Edward with an awkward smile and guilty expression. "I am with a patient," Tina said with slight aggression. Edward looked at Joshua, and Joshua looked at Edward. After a moment of silence, Edward sticks his hand out and smiles. "And you must be Joshua, right?" Edward, still holding out his hand, stared at Joshua, waiting for a response. Joshua answered in the same tone he used with Tina: "Yes, I'm Joshua.". 

Joshua grabs Edward's hand and almost instantly pulls away. Edward held his hand out in confusion and, in a slow, awkward voice, tried to change the subject by referring to Tina. "ooookkkkaaayyy. Tina, this is actually what I wanted to tell you." Tina tilted her head in confusion. Edward continued, "You and I have the same patient." Edward paused and pointed to Joshua. "You are his therapist; I am his psychiatrist." 

Out of excitement, Tina jumps from her desk and throws herself into Edward's arms with a squeal. "OH MY GOSH, YES!" Edward and Tina both giggle with excitement. As they hug each other. Joshua, getting annoyed, interrupts them, "Um, excuse me, I am glad you are both happy, but can we please get this over with?" "Right, right!" exclaimed Tina as she dusted off her outfit. "Edward, thank you for coming here, but please return to your office. You and Joshua are to talk later." Tina dismissed him with a professional tone and returned to her desk. As Edward left the room, Tina took a seat and looked directly at Joshua, as they did before he entered. 

"So Joshua, please tell me about yourself." Tina looked at Joshua with such focus that it made him uncomfortable and nervous. "Why do I have to tell you anything? Don't you have my file?" Joshua looked down at his hands, hoping she would change the subject. Tina, looking concerned for Joshua, continues to answer his questions. "Yes, Joshua, I do have your file, but I'd prefer to hear it from you. If this is too uncomfortable, you don't have to give me all the details." Joshua continues to look down at his hands.

"How about this? Let's start off with what you were diagnosed with." Tina looked at Joshua as he slowly raised his head. As he lifted his head, Tina asked with a concerned yet calming voice, "Joshua, would that be an okay start for you?" Joshua looks at her, hesitant to answer. He takes a deep breath and replies with a confident tone, "Yes, I am okay with that." A smile forms on Tina's face. With great enthusiasm, she replies, "Great. Let's get started then." 

Tina pulls out a notebook and grabs a pen. She looks at Joshua and says, "I'm ready when you are." Joshua looks at Tina, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. "Ok, so I was diagnosed with severe insomnia, parasomnia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder." Tina looked at Joshua with complete shock. Speechless, she grabbed his file and looked through it to confirm what he just told her. Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped.

Tina, thoroughly looking through Josh's file, sees that he also experienced visions and strange voices at night. After reading the whole page, she put the file down and looked at Josh. "Josh, could you please tell me when these started?". Josh looked at Tina, his eyes filling with tears. As the first tear rolled down his cheek, she grabbed a box of tissues and placed it in front of him. They sat in silence for a moment.

Josh stayed in his seat quietly crying, his gaze down towards his hands as they formed fists on his lap. Tina, almost unable to bear this on their first day, takes a tissue from the box and slowly wipes his tears for him. She moves from her seat and kneels next to Joshua. In a sad mourning tone, she explained to Joshua, "You know, you are going to have to tell me all this sooner or later." Joshua looked up from his hands, looked at Tina with tear-filled eyes, and slowly nodded yes. He slowly wiggled his way into the chair and is now seated in Tina's direction. 

Joshua, with a breaking voice, looked at Tina and said, "I know, I know I have to tell you all this sooner or later." Tina, in a calm and comforting tone, said, "Then why don't you tell me right now?" Joshua looked deeply into her eyes, as if wanting to tell her everything so badly. He did; he did want to tell her so badly but was afraid of her not believing him. Tina, slowly letting go of her professionalism, held Joshua's hand, breaking the fists that were formed on his lap. As they stared deeply into each other's eyes, both their gazes slowly softened. 

Trapped in the moment, they slowly drift towards each other, getting closer and closer in for a kiss. Before their lips could touch, Tina quickly got up and returned to her seat. After a few seconds of silence, Tina returns to her previous question: "Joshua, could you please tell me when it all started?" Joshua faced Tina and, with a numb voice, replied, "I'm sorry, Dr. Miller; I don't feel comfortable answering that right now." Tina, trying to not lose her professionalism again, began by asking another question: "Tell me then, Joshua, where do you want to start?" Joshua looked up at Tina with an icy-cold stare and remained silent. 

Joshua sat still, just staring at Tina. Concerned, she tried calling out for him: "Joshua. Joshua? JOSHUA!" Joshua flinched, finally escaping his trance. He looked at Tina and around the whole office, gasping for air as if he were being choked to death. Tina quickly got him a bottle of water and guided him through several breathing exercises. After a good ten minutes, they both calmed down. Nervously, Tina said, "Joshua, are you okay? What the hell happened?" Still trying to fully calm down, Joshua said in a slightly panicked tone, "I'm fine; I'm fine; I'm fine; it's just something that happens once in a while."

Tina, in a shocked and panicked tone, replied, "So that just happens to you randomly? What do you do when it happens? How long does it last?" Joshua, in a calm and curious tone, said, "To be honest, I actually don't know." You don't know? YOU DON'T KNOW?!" Tina yelled out, obviously stressed by the fact that her patient almost died on their first day. Joshua remained seated, enjoying the sight of Tina just pacing the room, trying to think of an answer. Before she could wrap her head around anything, an alarm buzzed. 

Tina sat down and took a few deep breaths. "Thank you, Joshua, for seeing me today, but I am afraid it is time for you to meet my husband." "Thank you too." Joshua replied in a calm tone. "It really was a pleasure meeting you, Dr. Miller." Joshua sat up and walked towards the door. Before he could open it, Tina said one last thing. "Oh, and Joshua, about what happened when you were crying, please keep it between us." Joshua turned around and looked at Dr. Miller. He smiled, nodded his head, and left the office.