Chapter 16

Wrenley's POV

As we reach Matteo's room, I can feel my heart beating about ten times faster than it normally does. This time I don't think it's just due to his hold on me, but because I know we're about to be a lot more honest than what's comfortable. I'd take arguments and banter over vulnerability almost any day, however, that will get us nowhere. And I'm starting to think I really would like to get somewhere with him.

Matteo walks towards his bed and I assume he's going to place me on top of it, instead he sits down with me still in his arms. He positions himself so that he can rest his back on the headboard before making it so that I'm practically straddling his lap.

I didn't think my heart could get any faster... well there it goes. Taking a deep breath in to let some of the darn tension out of my body, I notice that Matteo is looking at me with a taunting smile. This man knows exactly what effect he has on me.

"Am I making you nervous, sweetheart," he asks in a voice that says he already knows the answer.

"No sweetheart," I reply defensively.

Matteo's brow raises, either at my lie or the term of endearment. "I just don't know if this is the best way to sit if you want me to actually speak coherent thoughts," I voice, realizing from the look on his face that it probably wasn't the best thing to say.

"Which is because it's inappropriate and uncomfortable. You have really uncomfortable legs digging into me and it's distracting. That's all I meant so stop giving me that look," I try to lie but he suddenly breaks into a deep laughter.

"Yah. Yah. I'm real funny," I mumble but I'm trying to hide the smile that his laugh brought on. My body loves to have stupid reactions when Matteo is involved.

After his laughter has stopped, he looks at me with a little more sincerity, saying, "If it actually makes you uncomfortable, you're free to move. I just feel better when you're close, that's why I placed you here." How the heck am I supposed to say no to that?

Sighing, I reply, "It's fine, I guess I can stay here for you. It really not that bad." I move forward to support the idea that it's no big deal but it may have been by a bit too much. Matteo lets out a low "Fuck", as I start to feel something that's not his leg from  underneath me. Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!

"Wrenley," he warns in a low voice.

"Sorry! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry,"  I say, trying to move away, but movement seems to just be making him more tense. He lets out a few more choice words in a strained voice.

Then before I can even comprehend what's happening, I'm flipped over so that Matteo's body is leaning over me. His face gets very close to my own as he growls out, "I thought we were going to talk."

"We were, I wasn't trying to... I told you that sitting on your lap might not be the best idea," I explain in a very high pitched voice.

This time he lets out a chuckle that's not filled with any humor. Moving off, he lays beside me, now having his turn at taking some deep breaths. Seemingly talking to himself, he whispers out, "What the fuck are you doing to me?"

After he's calmed down, Matteo looks at me gruffly, saying, "Lets get this talk over with." Thankfully, I fight the smile that comes from his grumpy attitude. I doubt he would appreciate it.

"What were you wanting to talk about," I ask playing somewhat dumb. A large part of me doesn't want to be the first one to bring up my feelings.

"No, we're not doing that Wrenley. I can't beat around the bush here. Not when I'm constantly trying to stay in control just from being near you," he tells me sounding a little annoyed.

"Matteo," I start but he cuts me off, moving a little closer.

"Do you know how many times I've left a work event early, especially one for Phillip? How about the amount of times I've ever been distracted from my task while on duty? Or lost my very well trained composure even when someone likes to hit every nerve? Ask me how many times I haven't felt in control of my actions or thoughts. Ask me," he tells me, raising his voice at the last part.

I look at him with my eyes going soft in question. "Not once, before I met you. Not once. Even when the late King and Queen died, and Phillip and my parents were a mess, I stayed sensible. I was a child and I was fucking sensible. When I deal with annoying arses everyday, I may get pissed off and grumbly, but I'm still in complete control," he grounds out with emotion heavy in his voice.

"Matteo," I try again but he's still not listening.

"Then you show up, and from our first moment, I already felt like my control had been taken away. At first I could justify it to being annoyed or stressed out. That quickly changed when all of our arguments left me with the need to stick my tongue down your throat. It changed when I hurt your feelings for the first time and your unhappiness felt like a noose trying to wrap around my neck. It fucking changed when I started having some sort of aneurism any time a man so much as went near you. I was someone that was fine being on his own and now I have no doubt, I would follow you around like a puppy if it meant being near you," he rambles on, fueling my own emotions for him.

"Matteo," I shout and he finally seems to hear me. As his gaze settles on my eyes, I ask, "Do you not think you do the same thing to me?"

He gives a scoff and looks away like what I said isn't believable. "Hey," I say grabbing his face so it's turned toward me. "You got to tell me how you feel, so now let me have my turn." He nods his head and I slowly release my hand from his face.

"I know you like to think I have my head in the clouds," I start and he begins to protest. Moving my hand right back to his face and over his mouth, I continue, "Matteo I've spent so much of my life daydreaming about a different reality rather than living in the one I was in. Not just because this one felt boring but also because its the most frightening. Instead of dealing with and enjoying what was right in front of me, I would turn to something that wasn't real. Yet you somehow feel like the realest thing and I can't seem to look away from you."

Matteo grabs my hand from his mouth and engulfs it so his fingers are hugging my own. "I used to shy away from something as simple as conflict, alternatively choosing to stay quiet and disassociate. I guess I just didn't think that it was worth it, that my wants, feelings, my life wasn't worth it. Than you come in and make me want to fight and argue, to stay grounded in this moment and not some far off one. We can list it off as you being annoying or because of an underlying tension that's there, and those both would be somewhat true."

I smile at his eye roll, "However, I've realized that the main reason is because I feel safe enough to argue with you. I not only want to pick you over my amazingly thorough imagination but feel comfortable enough to do so. Matteo being with you feels right in a way that it never has with anyone. We can be yelling at each other or you can be holding me in your arms, but the outcome is the same. I'd choose it. I'd choose you."

I notice tears start to form in my eyes and get a little surprised. Unless it's been for acting, I tend to not really let myself cry in front of anyone. It's just something that has always felt a little uncomfortable.

A look of concern grows on Mateo's face, but I just wave it off,  "That's probably why some of our fights have started, because some of these emotions you bring up scare the crap out of me. I haven't known you long and you're not who I would imagine myself with. You are grumbly, and over protective, and you always seem a little skeptical of my imagination and crazy ideas..."

"Ok, I get it," Matteo cuts me off and I let out a laugh that's mixed with a cry.

Ignoring his protest, I continue on with what I was going to say, "At the same time, you are exactly what I need. You ground me and keep me safe while driving me a little insane in the best way. You're also supportive of me, even if you don't quite understand. I have a feeling that now if I went to go camp out in the gardens, your only response would be that you're coming along with me".

His small head nod tells me that what I said was indeed right. "So yeah, you're upending my life in the same way. Making me feel under the skin type of crazy. Most of the time, I'm also thinking about your tongue in my throat or honestly a couple other places. Whatever you're feeling it's definitely not one sided."

His eyes heat in a way that tell me he's about to make part of my last statement a reality right now. As much as I'd love that, a lot has gone down in the last few hours. I'm not sure tonight is the best time to start anything.

Nervous about how he's going take the next part, my voice comes out a little quieter than before, "With all that said, I do think we should take this a little slow."

I think I need time to adjust to whatever this is going on between us. I need to make sure I don't  lose reality in the idea of a fairytale, and I need to make sure I don't lose myself in being with him. Even if the latter sounds like one of the best reasons to get lost.

Matteo looks me in the eye, and though they look a little conflicted, he doesn't hesitate before saying, "Ok."

My head rebounds a bit in surprise, "Ok?"

It's not that I'm surprised he's respecting my wishes, it's just all of our interactions have felt the opposite of slow. Even the heat in his eyes right now are not exactly giving it off. I also can't deny the fact that a part of me wants to throw slow right out the window, regardless if it's the right move.

Matteo smiles and replies, "Yes, OK.  I am in no way going to be your rebound Wrenley. I know that you're over that prick of an ex but I want to make sure that our relationship starts off on the right path. With dates and all that other romantic bullshite people usually do. I want you Wrenley and not for some fling that will barely last. I want to be something you continuously choose."

Who says things like that? Who?

I honestly don't know if I can imagine Matteo being super romantic but this conversation is making me pleasantly curious. That curiosity turns to something else when Matteo moves his hand down to his lap, seeming to his adjust himself.  I follow his movements to notice he still seems a bit excited. "Are you sure you can handle going slow," I ask jokingly, but not at the same time.

He heaves a frusturated laugh, "My imagination might not be as good as yours sweetheart but it will hold me over until the time is right... Meaning as long as you can stop looking at my dick, I think I can keep myself in check." Well alright then.

Knowing my face has again reached that lovely pigmented color, I quickly move my eyesight up. "Right, ok. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? Or am I good to head to my room," I ask, already moving off the bed.

His smile turns a bit smug, "Nothing else for now, but you don't have to leave. You could always spend the night here."

I sigh a little exasperated, "We just talked about.."

Matteo interjects, "I know and I'm not suggesting any of the dirty things your thinking. I'm simply stating that if you'd like to watch a movie or just lay down, I would be happy if you did it with me."

I'm not sure spending the night exactly includes slow but we've done it before and it was probably the best sleep of my life. "Fine, let me go change while you put something on. Nothing that includes the ocean," I comment going for the door.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he shouts as I'm already out of the room.

When I get back, he has his laptop set up to the first of our favorite childhood movies. His face is watching mine, almost nervously, like he's trying to see if he made the right choice. Maybe he'll be good at this romance thing after all.

....

Mateo's POV

Tonight is one of the best that I've ever had. Even with everything that happened earlier, I can't remember ever feeling better than I do right now. Not when theres a woman lying on top of me with her bunny pajamas.

Right now, we're about half way through the second movie and I can start to hear the beginning of some slight snoring. Looking down toward my chest, I notice that Wrenley's eyes are closed with her mouth opened wide enough to catch flies. I should find this look unappealing but instead I'm thinking that it's kind of cute. Didn't know the word cute was in my vocabulary but here we are.

Quickly turning my laptop off, I try my best to keep as much of my body still as I move the device to the side. I have a feeling that if she woke up right now, she'd suggest going back to sleep in her own room. That's not happening, but I'd rather not start an argument. Arguing will make it a lot harder to keep my promise of taking it slow with her.

And although I'd love to taste that sweet mouth of hers, I'd rather her not relate that memory with one of dealing with the bastard of an ex. Much like the first time I plan to be inside her, her only focus should be on me and how I'm making her feel. That means patience and trying my best to keep any tension down, because as long as that's down, my dick will hopefully stay that way too. Hmm, best to not think of my dick while she's lying on top of me.

As I finally get situated, making sure she's covered enough with the blankets, I realize that there's a smile still lingering on my face from earlier. Has that smile been there the whole time? It probably has.

It's hard not to be happy when she practically jumped for joy after seeing the movie I picked. I'm a fan of the films but I haven't watched them for a while. It was clear that wasn't the case for her.

Half of the first movie was quoted in a terrible British accent by the woman who's now fast asleep. Not to mention, that every spell had to be recited by her as she showed me the correct wand movement. She wasn't satisfied until I also copied her motions to prove I had been listening. I don't know how this ended up being the person I can't get off my mind but it made me feel pretty damn lucky that she felt the same way.

She told me that I make her feel safe and it wasn't the safety that I give to everyone else by being a guard. She felt safe with me emotionally, enough to not hide any part of who she is or to escape to somewhere she finds better. Her imagination and the way she looks at simple things is enticing, it makes the world more interesting. However, I'm glad that I somehow persuade her to live in reality as well.

Suddenly feeling a movement from the body like blanket on top of me, I look to see that she seems to be stirring. I'm not quite sure if she's going to wake up, but I also don't want to chance it. Making sure my arms are wrapped as a secure band around her, I quickly close my eyes, faking sleep.

Thank fuck I did because a couple seconds later, I notice her head lift off my chest. There's a few moments where nothing happens that feels a lot like her watching me "sleep". It's ok sweetheart, look all you want. I'm yours anyways.

Then what could practically be sensed as a shift in energy, she decides to try to leave my hold. I'm sure the rational side of her brain is telling her that this isn't slow, but it really has no meaning except that I like being near her. Sleeping felt better with her and I want to do it again.

Wrenley struggles for a bit, as she tries to move my arms away from her and crawl under them. However, like me, they don't plan on letting her go.

Most likely realizing her struggle is pointless, she releases a resigned sigh. "How is he that much stronger than me even in sleep? There's no way that it's not something supernatural," she whispers very quietly to herself. I then feel her hand move up as she sets two fingers on my neck, similarly to how she did yesterday. "Still beating," she mumbles.

Holding my laughter in is at this moment is probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Did she actually think I was a fucking vampire? God this woman.

Finally finished with all of her nonsense, she lays back down, muttering, "Whatever." Wrenley settles her head right back near my heart and breathes in my scent as her body begins to settle. I wait several minutes before opening my eyes to see that she fell back asleep.

The only thing that I can think, is that it doesn't matter how hard going slow will be for me. I was honest with her when I said I didn't want a fling. The part I left out is that what I'm starting to want with her is a lifetime. It's why I said yes to her earlier and why I'll keep to my word. She's mine and that's not something I plan on letting go.

Giving her a quick kiss on the head, I finally let myself fall asleep for real.