Chapter Hundred and thirteen

I pressed the doorbell and waited for it to open, I couldn't wait to see how happy Emily would be, it have been long since she had seen or spent time with her goddaughter, this was going to be the situation I'll be in if I leave. I shook my head not wanting to think about it, Deep down I wanted to leave from all this pain from everything that reminded me of my failure but... Would I leave the only source of happiness to relieve that pain? The door finally pulled open with Emily at the door, thank God her stomach wasn't the first to greet me this time. "Becca, she smiled opening her arms for a hug but I stood where I was.

" Guess, I smiled and watched as she clan her neck to look behind me. "What are you hiding behind you?  "Guess?  " Umm... Just as she was about to open her mouth to guess more, Sunny popped her head out of my back. "Sunny? Emily screamed in excitement and I made way for her to run to her godmother. "I've missed you so much baby, I've missed you" she carried her in her arms. "I've missed you too godmother. " Are you here to see your cousin brother" Sunny nodded "Okay sure, let's go in and see his tiny face" Sunny laughed so hard that it felt like music to me. "I missed getting so much even though she was close to me, I have this feeling never to let her go or. I should take her with me and then I would never come back here again but I was going to be chased till the end of my life that I want for my daughter.

Sunny spend the next hour talking to little James. " He's so cute Mummy, was I this tiny when I was small". "Yeah very tiny and cute" she giggled and reached out to touch James' hand. "I love him" she smiled touching his cheeks which made him stir from his sleep, then his eyes snapped open and what happened the next moment wasn't that cute because he started crying, raising his voice in high pitch. "I didn't pinch him, mum, I mean it" Sunny teary eyes. "I know Sunny, you don't have to worry or cry about that". " But he's crying" she sobbed. "He's not crying because you touched him, he's just hungry" Emily explain to her before scooping up James in her arms. 

"Really mum, did I do that, do I cry whenever I'm hungry?  " Of course, then I have to feed you a lot of milk" I rubbed her hair. "Come, let's leave your godmother to free James". She nodded and whipped downstairs and I moved to fix a little snack, I just wanted it to be me and Sunny. But now... I dragged my fingers through my hair and poured out a juice for myself and then for sunny. I waited for Emily to join me downstairs maybe I can tell how this but I was not ready to open up to anyone because they won't understand the pain I felt in each passing day knowing how I have been deprived of everything and everyone close to me. 

" Seeing Sunny today has made me very happy, I've been missing her a lot couldn't want to give her, her seventh birthday gift, the day was just a few weeks to come and I want to make it special for my daughter. "Just lighten your mood because Sunny is here today liked the other days, we spend together" "I'm happy she's here with me but theirs a huge difference now". "Sunny is your daughter and no one can take that right from you no matter how much they try". " I remember how Sunny had easily called her Mummy, the word drove an arrow into my heart. "I just wish that it's true, I just wish that no one would see that position in her life because I wouldn't take it from anyone" Emily reached out to hold my hand. "I know how hard this has been for you but just remember that I'm here for you always"

"Emily, I called sipping my beer. She turn looked and looked at me. " Are you okay Becca? She looked curiously at me. "What if one day I dropped dead and die" "Why would you say such a thing, that can never happen, I know things have been touched and bad lately but that would never happen to you" I shook my head and poured more juice for myself "You don't, I turned away from her, this was the first time I had let myself discuss this much since everything happens, I think It was the best to lock everything up within me because the more I tried to open up the more it draws to me that they don't understand the type of pain I was passing through.

" I know you don't think I understand the type of pain you're feeling but trust me I know, it hurts and it driving you crazy knowing that you can't be with Sunny the way you have wished for and I know that is pain that made you into this, you feel detached in everything I understand and please stop pushing me away from you because I'm not going to allow that" Tears slipped down from my eyes, I had no other option than to turn away from her. "I'm thinking of leaving, Finally, I said it out because this was what I wanted, I wanted to forget this pain, and thus was a great opportunity to do that.  

"I want to leave, I want to be away from all the things that remind me of the future I had wanted to build from all this pain" I sniffed back and did my best to calm myself, I saw Emily looked Sunny where she was building a castle with blocks before turning to back at me. "Then leave...