20

"So, what do we do?" I asked, confused. Sekar shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly then she walked towards the library. Maybe I'd better go, instead of having to see class meeting activities that I don't understand. Better, I study or read a book there.

"Nilam, Sekar! What are you guys doing here?" I can already guess. Of course, Sasi will ask. Because, just this semester, Sekar and I can relax. It must be because of the gossip. It does not matter. At least I can learn from it.

"Get off, Ma'am," Sekar replied. So instead, take a few packets of books and then sit in front of the table at the end of the room. Usually, that's my place.

But, I chose to sit by the window of the library room. It's summer, and the fan in this room is off. If I were in Sekar's place now, my hair would be even more horrible later. I need some fresh air... maybe.

Library clock like this. It will be quiet. The students prefer to scream until their voices run out to defend their favorite team. They are wasting time on useless things. But, it often happens too. Loneliness is used by children dating. The reason is they are looking for this opportunity to be alone. Last year, I saw a couple kissing in the hallway. Surprisingly, even if they know where I am, they don't care and are not ashamed. I am ashamed of myself.

I remembered the kissing problem. Why do I remember Ricky? I have no idea what Bondan and Mondy mean by 'that.' If at this time, Ricky alone has a lot of girls. Doesn't that mean Ricky has kissed a lot of girls? Oh my God, even just imagining that, my chest tightens. Actually, what's wrong with me?

"Ricky, please!" I heard that voice. I saw Salma pull Ricky's hand while shouting towards the back of the 1st-grade building. And that's the sign, not far from here. The first-class facility is located after the student council building next to the library.

Ricky laughed. Real laughter. Then he gently pushed Salma's body against the wall. I am putting his strong hands between Salma's body. What will they do? No... I can't be bothered because it's none of my business. But I want to know. About the next scene after that scene.

Salma hugged Ricky's body tightly. Then he let go, his hands that had wrapped around Ricky's waist, and then turned around Ricky's neck. My hair swells. Whether you dare or not, see the dim view in front of me. I know, what's the scene after this. Because even though everyone says I'm stupid. I've often seen scenes like this in cinemas that show romantic films.

Still with that happy smile. Ricky's eyes couldn't stop staring at Salma's face. The adoring gaze that he showed for real. I know, Salma. The most beautiful girl in this School. Even last year, he still wears the Queen of the School during prom night—the School's annual event.

"Nilam! What are you doing!" I stumbled when Sekar tapped my shoulder.

Don't cry... I can't call.

"I... I read a book." I answered.

"Sad story novels?" she asked. I just looked at Sekar, confused. "You cry, Nilam. What are you doing?"

I hold my cheeks. It was true, and my tears had fallen in an impolite way. Why am I crying? What do my tears do with Ricky, who is currently kissing Salma? I can't be jealous, can I?

"Nilam! You are looking for a student of Harapan Nation!" Genta's scream made Ricky's eyes catch my figure.

I quickly left the library. Because, I can see, Salma also turned with a look of disapproval. And those lips...

"What is it?"

"I don't know. He's a cool guy, but what you've been looking for all along. You even ask the students here."

"Dyed red hair? Piercings?" I guess. Genta nodded vigorously. Genta's body was still sweating, and his breathing was still irregular. I'm sure he just had a match earlier.

"Your affair?" guess Genta.

"Nonsense! No!"

I hurriedly left. But Genta has embraced me just like that. He walked away with a big smile. I don't know what's wrong with Genta right now.

"My close friends are pretty. I'm so touched..." he said, "One though is naughty but cute, and the other, if I'm not mistaken, a teen magazine model. I salute them. It turns out that they can see the true beauty of Nilam. "

"Genta!" I snapped. He smiled wider.

"Nilam, you are so beautiful! So, why are you like this!"

"I---" I stopped. But, it seems Genta is out of his mind. "What are you doing?"

"Lala shouted, Genta, I love you!" he shouted happily.

"Really? How come?"

"Earlier, there was a classmate like that who cared a lot about me. Eh, he immediately said that. So really, if love is not going anywhere, huh."

"Serious?" I asked again, still in disbelief. Lala never told me that she also loved Genta. On the contrary, Genta kept bugging me with his rants about Lala all the time.

Genta nodded. I'm also happy about it. Unknowingly, we jumped at each other like little children and then embraced. Thankfully, at least, my two best friends were delighted. My business of happiness, number two.

"You can't hurt Lala, let alone cheat on her. Promise?"

"Ready, Boss Queen!" he salutes. Like subordinates paying respect to superiors. I know Genta is a loyal guy. And I'm sure Genta can take care of Lala. But, then, when can I find a guy like Genta? Oh, Nilam. You have too high hopes. Where possible, there is a frog that can reach the moon. There is not any.

"Watch out!"

BUUUKK!!!

My eyes felt dizzy when the basketball hit my head. Then I... passed out.

@@@

"Are you awake?"

I blinked my eyes when I heard the voice faintly. Ricky was sitting beside my bed smoking his cigarette.

"Where am I?"

"UKS."

"How come?"

"You passed out earlier. You got hit by a basketball."

I was silent again. I am struggling with my thoughts again. Yes, he is here now, next to me. Played her role as boyfriend very perfectly. But, Ricky, doesn't he want to explain something to me? Again I smiled wryly. Explain? to me? There's nothing to explain because I'm nothing to him.

"I want to go home." I broke up. After looking at the clock on the wall next to my bed, it was 15.00. Indeed, Aunt Rosi was waiting for me at home.

"You---"

"I want to go home!" I snapped. He brushed off his hand that grabbed my arm.

Maybe, I want PMS. That's why my emotions are up and down right now.

"Did you see Salma and me earlier?"

I'm just silent. Ignoring his words, I grabbed my bag on the sofa then put my package books.

"I was ----"

"I don't care, Rick. You want a hug, and you want to kiss any girl. I don't care what you want to do. But you can, can't you just let me go?" he stands. His brown eyes stared at me intently. I don't know why I dare to be angry with Ricky. How can I be this brave without thinking about the harmful consequences I will experience later?