Dead end

According to their experience in the past years, it was a dangerous thing to follow the wrong river, considering the possible flood, more beasts along the river, sharp stones on the bank, and on top of them: the desperation when you found the dead-end of it after months of walking. Or they followed the moon and stars as the Counselor said, " If you keep walking toward the south, you will reach the south." The only problem was that you just could not walk straight among the mountains because there was always something to stop you and make you turn around: a mountain with thick black forest, a wide and raging river, an abyss, a weird roar, or something making you feel wrong as if you were being watched. They were in a dense forest that was never-ending. There was no clear path and everything looked the same. They got lost in all sorts of ways. In the end, even the Counselor started to doubt himself, 'have I been to the place before like months ago? Why did this place look familiar to me?' He would think about it for hours and then he'd get angry at everyone. And then it was about raining, which made everything muddy and slippery. Every time it started raining, they had to take shelter under trees until the rain stopped. It was difficult to tell from where the rain came: sometimes it came from above, sometimes from below.; once they even saw a little stream coming out of a tree.

There were more problems other than those that appeared on their way: the cold, hunger, exhaustion, and thirst, but above all else, fatigue. It was not just physical exhaustion, it was mental and spiritual exhaustion. They felt drained and empty inside. They longed for sleep so that they could forget everything, especially themselves. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. They felt completely hopeless. All that mattered now was to find a way out. It was very tiring and exhausting to be constantly looking for directions. They felt like they were already at death's door.

They wanted to give up. They just wanted to lie down somewhere and die. Their feet hurt. They were tired. Some people thought of jumping off the cliff to end everything quickly.

Then this old man came up like a ghost and told them to follow a river randomly. "Should we believe him?" That question was asked a thousand times by the General in the past month when they were following along the river as that old man told them. Though the General doubted, they had no other way to go but along it, because that was the only road, the only route. "You have a better idea?" The Counselor answered him always with the same answer.

"No! But we cannot let ourselves fall into his trap!"

The General was right. They followed him as he walked along the river until they reached the dead end. It flowed into a mountain, which meant it was an underground river. It was impossible to climb over the rock wall of the mountain. They tried several times but failed. The General became furious. He was not afraid of dying. He was afraid of getting lost forever. He was sure that this was some kind of trick. However, nobody dared to say anything against the General.

"I knew it! I knew it!" The General broke out yelling. "That old man is crazy! He was playing me like a fool! I should kill him! I should have killed him!!!" He was mad.

The Counselor was sad. He had to admit it. However, what else could he do? Even if they had chosen the wrong direction because of that old man, they still needed to follow it until they reached the end, which meant that the Counselor was responsible for leading them to the dead end, and therefore, he was also guilty, depressed, and remorseful.

"Can you just calm down?" said the Counselor.

"Calm down? How can I calm down? The old man, a ghost, or whatever he is, played me! I knew he was not normal, so weird and strange as he was! Somehow, that old man pulled me out by the hair for a breath, and then pressed my head back again into the pool of desperation."

"I know. I feel the same way. But, since we are already here anyway, at least let's just go and check out that cave."

They walked toward the cave the river ran into. The entrance hole of the cave was not very big, barely enough to fit one person inside. The light was dim; the darkness was deep; the smell was damp and musty. A strong smell of sulfur filled their nostrils--it was a terrible odor. Some bones were scattered randomly. The water flowed through a narrow passage and disappeared into another tunnel; the sound of rushing waters echoed loudly throughout the dark chamber; the walls looked wet and slippery. Then he heard some strange noises like from birds, and then a few birds or bats flew over the water, and some frogs or something the like croaking away. They wondered how many animals lived in there. Deeper inside the cave, the ground began to slope downward, because they could hear water running faster and louder. The whole area was dark except for the light coming out of the cave. The deeper, the heavier darkness became. And that's all that they could see from outside the cave.

"This is not good," said the Counselor. "We don't know how deep the cave goes, and we are not sure if we can swim through the river. We may drown, and the flow might be too fast."

"Let me swim it through and find out." The General was about to jump inside the river.

The Counselor grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Are you insane?"

"Why not?"

"Because it is dangerous and we don't know what is probably inside. Think about all the strange beasts we encountered before, remember?"

"So what? What else can we do now? Just sit here and wait until we die? No, no, no." The General was getting more and more frustrated. His anger grew bigger. He didn't care anymore.

"Are you crazy? Are you stupid? Do you want to die?" The counselor grabbed his arm harder in case he decided to run off and try swimming through the river.

The General was ready to fight. "If you don't let me go in there, I'll punch your face in!!"

"Try me!"

"I'm not crazy. I just don't care anymore," the General explained.

"Well, I do. I care. This is not a game. I will not let you go in there."

...

After they quarreled for a couple of hours, they were tired, and it got dark.

"It seems it's late. Let's stay here tonight. Tomorrow morning, we will discuss it," suggested the Counselor.

At the time of then, they were lying aside at a bonfire, cooled down, exhausted.

"All these days I wonder why we feel strange about him. Probably, because he knew many things we do not know, we just cannot understand him. It is like you tell an eight-year-old girl about a war: maybe she can understand every word you say, but she can never actually understand what you mean until she is there in the war, which is not optional. You know what I am saying?" The counselor talking to the General or to himself.

"Leave that old man and what he said alone, do you believe we can get out of here, the mountains? Even if we walk out among the mountains, do you think there is a chance we will go home?"

 "What I think," says the Counselor, "is that when we come home from this war we will see our kingdom for what it really is—a great big whorehouse." He pauses.

The General laughed. He wanted to laugh; he did not want to cry, but tears were trickling down his cheeks anyway. Only that they lay aside the bonfire, and the Counselor couldn't see his tears because of the darkness around them.

"I think we're all going to die," said the General.

"Yeah, well I hope it's quick. Anyway, we'll all be together."

"You remember that soldier with infectious diseases? He is the first and only soldier I killed with my own hands, which tortures me every night. All these young men, like brothers or sons to me, have parents, maybe wives and children just as you and I do. I cherish every one of them. For then, to save more by killing one, I do not have a choice. But now, I do. Since someone has to go inside, it should and must be me."

The Counselor listened silently.

"And my Lieutenant. You remember what that old man told us about what happened to him? It kills me inside. I cannot forget it. I still feel the pain in my heart every single day. I can't sleep well at night. I can't eat well either. I can't concentrate. I can't do anything. I am sick, and I need to do something to help myself. I can't bear it any longer. I just can't. 'An achievement of a general is built on the dead bodies of ten thousand soldiers,' as people say, it is true, and it is time for me to do something for them now. I own them this."

A long time of silence.

"I know what you are trying to do, and I know where this talk is going." The Counselor sighed.

"You do?"

"Yes, in the very first place. I already have thought it through. If you insist, I can't stop you forever. You can go inside that cave, only if you follow what I am going to say."

"Thanks," the General said.

"I am going to let soldiers make a rope with durable fibers from the bark. We are going to tie the rope around your waist before your entrance. And remember: if you pull the rope to yourself one time, we will loosen our grasp of the rope; if you pull two times, we will hold the rope; if three times or more, we will drag you back out of the cave as quickly as possible. You copy my words?"

"Yes," the General answered.

"Also I will prepare a piece of balsa wood, and you will hug it to increase your buoyancy. Is that ok?"

"Sure!"

"I will tie a dagger to your calf, in case of encountering anything inside."

"That's ok too."

"Then the last and the most important one: you will carry a small bag made of leather, stitched tightly, covered completely in grease, totally water-proof, in which is a tool for making fire. If anything happened, for us to locate you, you just light a pile of wet branches to produce smoke; if you find it is the way out successfully, then you light two piles separately. Then we will know you are alive and safe, and we will leave this place immediately."

"Ok, I understand."

"Good. Now, you rest for tonight. Tomorrow morning at sunrise we will start preparing the rope and the tools. When you wake up, I will give you some food to eat. After that, you will go into the cave. We will be waiting outside the cave for you. Any questions about my plan?

"No, I don't have any questions."

The General sat beside the bonfire and stared into the flames. His eyes were half-closed. He was thinking about what he would do in that cave. He thought about his soldiers and his family. He wondered if his Lieutenant, who he loved so much, was also thinking about him in heaven. He tried to imagine what he had gone through. He reminisced about his friends, some of whom were dead, and some of whom were missing. He wished he could talk to them all one last time. He missed his mother and father, and he prayed that he could meet them soon in paradise.

"So, tomorrow is the day, live or die," he whispered to himself.