006 - KIMMY

"Are you well?", Jeremy sat next to Kiara.

"I must have overworked myself," Kiara said in a low voice.

"You shouldn't have done that. Look at you now, you look very exhausted and your eyes are red….and puffy. Have you been crying, love?" Jeremy held Kiara's chin in his palm and tried to lift her face up, but she objected and remained facing down.

Huge teardrops rolled down her cheeks.

"What is it, Kiara? What happened?"

"Umm, it's nothing." She sobbed.

"But you're crying, babe," Jeremy pulled her closer to him.

"I'm just upset. I overworked myself and that rude events manager shouted at me in front of the whole team. I made one small error and she made me feel terrible, calling me names in front of them all."

Jeremy pulled Kiara in for a hug and said, "I will go and talk to her."

"No no please don't do that, Jeremy."

"But she needs to learn to treat employees well."

"I know," Kiara sat up. "But Lee-Anne is still working there. If we make that events manager angry, she will take it all out on Lee-Anne."

Jeremy thought about it for a while and then said, "I don't like it that she made you this sad. What did she say to you?"

"Forget about her. She didn't say much. I'm not sad just because of her. I'm also super exhausted. She upset me yes, but not that much."

"Are you sure?" Jeremy smiled at her.

"Positive." Kiara forced a smile.

"If you say so," Jeremy smiled at her. "Anyway, I won't disturb you. You must rest. I brought you a gift," Jeremy pulled out of his satchel a pink girly diary.

"I know we're already in March but then, it's not too late to start using a diary, is it?" he smiled.

"I've never used a diary before. Can I see? It's nice." Kiara took the diary and flipped through its pure white pages.

"I was taking some photos for a bookshop. After they paid me, they said I must get myself a diary. Since I have no use for a diary, I decided to pick one for you," he smiled at her.

"I love it, thank you," Kiara said, fighting the tears that were already threatening to fall.

"Are you OK, Kiara?" Jeremy sat close to her.

"I'm just too emotional today. I guess it's hormones or something like that. Maybe my period is close by." Kiara said.

"I don't think so. Your period must be in two weeks or so," Jeremy ran his fingers through Kiara's hair. He kissed her hair and said, "I love the smell of your hair."

"You always say that," Kiara smiled.

"It's the truth," Jeremy smiled and then stood up. "Ok my beautiful lady, let me leave you to rest. If you need me, I'm just next door. Literally."

Both of them laughed, and Jeremy left the room.

Left alone in her bedroom, Kiara allowed the tears to flow freely. She hated herself. She hated everything about herself.

She opened the diary to the current date. The diary came with a cute matching pink pen. She took the pen and tossed it a few times in her hands before beginning to write in her new diary,

Dear Diary

It's a miracle how you came into my life on a day that I needed you the most. Before I had you, I had Jeremy. I could tell him everything, he was my diary. But today I did something that I can never bring myself to tell him. He cannot be my diary any more. Today I can start learning what it means to keep secrets from the one that I love.

I can never tell it to anyone, except for you, dear diary. Maybe I should name you, and treat you as my little friend. You're one friend I can trust with all the issues on my heart.

What can I call you? How is Kimmy? Kimmy is your new name. The 'Ki' is from the first part of my name, and the 'my' is from the last part of Jeremy's name. Kimmy.

Kimmy, I hope you and I are going to have a long and beautiful journey. I hope that as I pour out my heart to you, I will find healing. And as you keep all my secrets within these your pages, you too will be glad that you found your way to me.

Dear Kimmy please, on April the 7th, may I please get my period. Please, my friend Kimmy. April the 7th.

Kiara closed the diary and placed it in a plastic paper which she hid in one of her drawers. She tossed in bed but failed to sleep. When it was way past 2AM, she woke up and went to the kitchen to drink some water. She took her phone and typed a message:

KIARA: I can't sleep.

To her surprise, Jeremy started typing. She thought he was fast asleep, but he typed immediately.

JEREMY: What's the problem, Kiara? Should I come over?

KIARA: No, let me be the one to come over. Wait for me by the gate.

JEREMY: OK, waiting.

Kiara tip toed to the door and slowly opened it, making sure that it made no sound. Sneaking in and out was nothing new with the two, for they had done it more than a few times before. Once the door was closed behind her, she ran next door and threw herself into Jeremy's arms, crying.

"Shh, don't cry. Let's go inside. Don't cry, we don't want to wake my mother up."

The two walked slowly and entered the house, going straight into Jeremy's bedroom.

As soon as Kiara entered, she saw the picture of herself holding Jeremy when they were still babies; the same copy as the one in her own bedroom. Although she had seen it countless times before, on that day it seemed to be mocking her. She looked away quickly.

"You miss me?" Jeremy kissed her on the forehead and said, "why are you so sad? What happened?"

"I just felt used. They made us work for the entire night."

"You don't need to do that ever again. If it makes you feel this bad, you shouldn't do it. And that manager worsened it all, because of her shouting."

Kiara nodded her head and smiled. Seeing her smile, Jeremy felt better.

"Why were you up at this hour?" she asked.

"I was busy editing some photos. And I have an assignment due in two days," he laughed.

"Maybe you should take a break from the photos so that you concentrate more on school. I'll soon be working, so I will take care of us," she smiled.

"I really can't go slow on photography. I need to help my mum with the home groceries. Jacob used to help out, but since he just got married, I guess most of his money is now going to his new family. And we're saving for our first car, remember?"

"It must be tough being a widow," Kiara said with her eyes on roaming on everything else except her boyfriend's face.

"It is. My mum works extremely hard."

Kiara remained silent. She felt sorry for Mrs Rain, Jeremy's mother. The woman was a very graceful lady. A receptionist at a nearby junior school, she was also a very hard worker, generally. She lost her husband while she was in her 7th month of pregnancy, expecting her youngest son Jeremy. Kiara respected Sharon a lot. She thought Sharon had done a very great job raising her sons by herself.

"Come here, let's sit in bed," Jeremy called her.

Kiara did not object. She crawled into the bed and leaned on Jeremy's shoulder.

If only I had not gone to Two-Sons Hotel….the thought continued to run in her mind.

While she was lost in deep thoughts, Jeremy kissed her lightly, and she did not move at all. Her mind was too far off.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her.

"You," she smiled. "And you? What is on your mind?" she tried her best to smile.

"You," Jeremy let out a small laugh, and pulled the lady much closer to him. "Kiara I hate seeing you sad. I'm used to seeing your smile, and this sad face is not what I want to see. Now give me a smile."

She smiled brightly, and although her eyes were still swollen, the smile made her appear happier than before.

Jeremy smiled too, and took her in his arms. She was wearing a morning gown which he carefully pulled off and threw aside.

Kiara did not know what to say or do.

Stop him…..a part of her mind said, while the other part said, just let things be. Forget about what happened between you and Vine, and continue with your happy life…

The two thoughts fought in her mind, and she ended up telling herself that Vine was just a mistake. Vine was a mistake to be forgotten, and she promised herself never to go anywhere near any of the Pinkertons ever again.

Forget about Vine. Forget about Vine and concentrate on the man in front of you; the man that you are madly and desperately in love with….

With that, Kiara became less tense. She relaxed in the arms of her lover, and let the moment flow.