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Turns out I'm an evil General

A depressed slacker transmigrates into a medieval world as a ruthless General with a reputation for torture. Now he has to deal with his own issues and clean up all the messes left behind by the original body owner. On top of all that, a young royal grows more and more obsessed with him.

heisenberg · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
35 Chs

I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end...

Aidan didn't want to think at all. He had long since realized that thinking never led to anything good. So he just kept quiet, waiting for the Regent to give a more definitive answer. At this time, other than "fuck, please, no!" there were no other words that could describe his inner turmoil.

"I might not be a great person. Hell, I'm probably not even a good person," the Regent finally interrupted the silence. "But I would never hurt anybody like that."

Aidan sighed in relief as Jake continued: "Not that it matters. Because she thinks I'm him, and she hates me. I can't apologize, I can't make it better, I can't do anything... You know how great it is to live in a body of a serial rapist, murderer, and slave owner?"

"I have a vague idea," Aidan couldn't help but smirk. Come to think of it, originally he was convinced that he had gotten the shittiest role in this place.

"Well, try doing it for five years in a row while enduring blackmail, shakedowns, assassination attempts, backstabbing. Not to mention, shameless flattery and hypocrisy..."

"In all these years, have you ever tried getting out?" Aidan asked, his curiosity suddenly piqued.

The Regent curled his lips in a self-deprecating smile. "Many, many times. There is nothing that I want more than to go back to my lovely wife, whom I promised to cherish and never leave... But all my research has only led to dead ends. Countless days reading up on magic, experimenting with all kinds of savage plants. And I'm still not a step closer to solving this than I was on my first day here. Maybe I didn't try hard enough... or, maybe, I'm just a series of lame excuses. To be honest, it's only one lame theory that keeps me from losing all hope and going completely insane."

"At least you have one theory," Aidan suddenly felt bad about himself. In all this time, he hadn't developed any theories. On the other hand, he had been pretty busy.

The Regent suddenly looked less dejected and a bit more thoughtful. "Funnily enough, your appearance here gives my far-fetched theory some ground."

"Really?" Aidan exclaimed. "Don't be stingy – share your insights with your good buddy Aidan!"

Jake raised his eyebrow, but, for some reason, Aidan felt that the man was happy to talk. It was lonely to be a misunderstood villain, after all.

"I was transported here one day after Reo's brother abdicated, and his nephew became the Emperor-in-Waiting. So if one sees this as a game, then my mission is literally to be a placeholder for Kai until he comes of age. Once my mission is complete, I should be released back to my world, right?"

Aidan scratched his nose instead of saying something. This was indeed very far-fetched. Steering even into the "wishful thinking" territory.

"And how does my presence confirm your theory?" he asked.

"You appeared at the exact moment when Kai needed to be saved. And shortly after, you proceeded to save him again. Original General Minn wouldn't have done that. So, thanks to you, our dear Emperor-in-Waiting is still alive. Maybe your mission is the same as mine – make sure that he successfully ascends the throne?" the Regent intertwined his fingers beneath his chin.

"There's not much more time left till the Prince turns 21," Aidan scratched his head. "I guess we can just wait and see. But if, according to you, the boy is the center of the mission, why do you keep him out of the loop?"

The Regent gave Aidan a mocking look. "Do you think this guy is a decent person?"

For some reason, Aidan's first impulse was to say: "yes, he is the best!" but he quickly realized how insane that would sound. And then he remembered the many shortcomings of the young, arrogant monarch. So he just shrugged in response.

"Let me tell you, my dear "nephew" is a spoilt, selfish prick with less empathy than fits inside a teaspoon. Before he takes the throne, I need to make the mirror space completely self-sufficient and then seal it off so he doesn't discover it and start the slave trade again. That's the only reason why I haven't changed the age law yet and made Kai ascend earlier."

"He isn't that bad," Aidan frowned. Somehow he felt personally offended by Jake's words. "The Prince was actually the first and the only one who expressed some sympathy for my...ehm...situation. That reminds me... He wanted to kill you, so I had to improvise. And, long story short, the Prince now thinks that you used the Double-Death thingy on me."

"You mean, "Fern"?" the Regent rolled his eyes.

"I really need to start writing things down," Aidan muttered to himself and nodded.

"Great," Jake spat out. "Something new and horrible at every turn today."

"No need to thank me for saving your life, Jakey," Aidan crossed his arms.

The audacity of this man.

"I can handle myself against Kai – I don't need your help. But now, I can't use you as Miri's bodyguard anymore. What's even worse, I can't use you on the battleground if the war breaks out."

Aidan was not comfortable with the word "use", yet he still asked: "Why is that?"

"Wouldn't it be suspicious to put your life in danger, considering my own life depends on it?" the Regent shook his head. "Now, I really can't let Miri go."

"Then are you going marry that Diviner guy?" Aidan asked. "It's either that or bad things will happen..."

"Bad things will happen, regardless. But there is one more option," the Regent sighed. "Without the magic, the savages can't fight. I have to completely cut off their supply. Then they won't be able to threaten us and extort hostages from us anymore."

Aidan understood what he meant, but, unfortunately, he didn't have any good news to share. "Nobody approached me yet..."

"Well, you know what they say. If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain," the Regent got up from the throne.

"Which mountain do you mean?" Aidan asked, slightly worried that the Regent might be losing his mind from all the pressure.

"Our beloved General Kear, of course. He is the only reliably corrupt "mountain" around."

"Isn't that the pervert that you let off scot-free? And then made General Lox take the fall for him?" Aidan furrowed his brows, remembering the unpleasant trial.

"I had to sacrifice somebody," Jake shrugged and rubbed his temples. "And I couldn't get rid of Kear because he's my only thread to the black market."

"So you need me to go to him and pump him for information?" Aidan asked.

"Pretty much. It would be nice if you could do that in less than three days?" the Regent's cold blue eyes now looked hopeful.

Honestly, Aidan didn't think that something like this would be possible. Maybe if he played up his hatred towards the Regent he could garner some sympathy, but there was no guarantee that Kear would divulge all his juicy secrets to Aidan so quickly.

"As a proper undercover agent, I'll need a hat, a trench coat, and sunglasses," he said out loud with a smile. There was no need to be a Debbie-downer at this moment.

The Regent came up to him and gave Aidan a pat on the shoulder but immediately removed his hand with a quick "Sorry."

"It's fine," Aidan smiled awkwardly and headed for the door.

"No, it's not. But you got better at hiding it."

Aidan didn't know what to do with these cryptic words and left without saying another word. On the way to his horse, he ran into the weird boy with white hair. Aidan muttered an apology and was about to move on when he felt something prick him on the neck. Confused, he turned his head and saw the boy running away and disappearing into the crowd.

There was a tiny drop of blood on his neck now, but other than that Aidan didn't feel that anything was wrong. He shrugged and waved his fist at the perpetrator. "Little dude, you shouldn't run around stabbing people all willy-nilly!" Once he got the chance, he had to ask Jake about this weirdo.

In order not to waste any time, Aidan headed directly to General Kear's manor. It was not so far from his own, and it was the most ridiculous building one could imagine. Every brick in this monstrosity screamed: "I have more money than taste!" and Aidan suspected that General Kear might be compensating for something.

Aidan rolled his eyes at the stuffy servant who greeted him. The man was wearing a fancy outfit with mother-of-pearl buttons. Even the rims of his sleeves were embroidered with gold. In comparison to him, Aidan looked like a hobo. Suddenly he felt bad for his own poor servants - maybe he could cheer those people up by providing them with some nice clothes?

"I will inform General Kear about your visit. Please kindly wait here," the servant led him to a large room with high ceilings and pointed at a white, tasteless sofa with countless cushions. Aidan didn't mind sitting for a bit, so he made himself comfortable. He even got some decent refreshments and something that looked like a cookie.

While Aidan was absentmindedly nibbling on the pastry and thinking whether he should ask General Kear where he can get baked goods around here, he suddenly heard some voices next to him. Aidan moved his ear closer to the wall, trying not to act too conspicuous, and listened in. It seemed that two people were arguing.

"The bribes are not enough..."

"But we can't ask for more!"

"maybe... an act of goodwill from our side... and they will reconsider."

"...they have to do as we say or... it doesn't even cover basic expenses..."

What followed was a long list of calculations that made Aidan's head spin, and his eyes turned glassy. After a while, he was so damn bored, he started seriously counting the flowers stitched on the wall carpet in front of him. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he was shocked awake by General Kear's obnoxious voice. "What a pleasant surprise, General Minn."

Aidan got up from the sofa, quickly dusting the cookie crumbs off his pants. He was about to come up with a fancy and polite greeting when General Kear raised his palm and ordered to his guards: "Seize him!"

Well, fuck me.

That was Aidan's last thought before a heavy blow landed on his head.