CHAPTER 1

Gaze

It was ruled that when we have a problem, we should face it and not to leave it. But then...it was only applied in some cases and in my case?...hindi ko alam. It was beyond something can't touch by anyone or even just me.

I was just staring at the flickering city lights if night here from my condo standing at my balcony. It's not a fancy condi but it's fine besides I'm only living here by myself. I shut my eyes tightly as I feeling the cold wind from the night-time. I can't even remember when I felt peace...

But the wind that's soothing my skin right now is different than the feeling I felt years ago. Before...

I sighed when I heard my phone ringing inside. My small bed met my eyes when I went inside.. I out my phone from my bedside table and went outside of my room. I answered the phone as I collected my things from my small living room.

"Where are you? Don't tell me you're not going Maria Isabelle!"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled when she spoke my whole name. Damn you Vana!

This past few weeks I felt so paranoid most of the time. I'm feeling nervous and I don't know why.

"I'm on my way..."

I hanged up the phone to stop her rants on me. Wearing my tight maroon off-shoulder dress half on my thigh with dark red stilleto and a shiny sling bag styled purse. I let my black wavy hair down. I graced outside the condo building with my dark red lipstick.

I went inside a taxi that's always waiting passenger coming from this condo building. I told him the nearest bar in this building. I didn't answered they're calls, they kept asking and calling just to know if I'm really on my way there. I'm bothered! These past few weeks I feel so paranoid. I don't want going out from my condo. If I'm not hungry or if it isn't about my work I'd probably stay in my unit and locked myself.

I answered Hanz's call when I'm already infront of the bar as I watched the people coming and out of the bar. Probably the inside was packed. I stayed there a bit as I'm talking to him on the phone.

"I'm here already. I just want to take some air hindi rin ako magtatagal" I told him when I answered the call.

"I'll fetch you there wait for m-"

"It doesn't need to, I'll get going after this call" I halted him.

Even I want him to fetch me here outside is topped myself from doing that. Besides, I'm already here I just needed to get myself inside. I hoped that it shouldn't be that crowded. But I think seeing this too many people that's s what will not happen.

"Okay then...see you in a bit"

I even overheard my friends asking him if it's me whom he's talking. I even heard Vana cursed because I'm being an V.I.P here. I shook my head and stared at the bar.

I heaved a deep breath and roam my eyes around. My eyes narrowed as my heart beat gets loud when I noticed someone. I shut it off and opened. I'm thankful that it was nothing. Maybe I'm just being paranoid! I shook my head. Hoping that I'd be calm. I even held my chest. My heart won't stop form beating harshly.

Noise and smokes were around me as I tried to seek my friends. I'm sure they'll preach me about me being so slow to move for this night-out.

I felt a touch in my waist. I looked at it and saw someone's arm snaked around it. Hanz smiling at me as he lead me where our friend is. I waved my hand smiled at them sweetly. I chuckled when I saw Vana rolled her eyes at me.

"Finally! I thought you wouldn't make it! You owe me a lot of shots!"

She gave me a drink.

"Is it hard? Or lady's drink?" I asked as I narrowed my eyes at them.

Hanzs hands were still snaked in my waist. I just let it even they're looking at me maliciously.

"Lady's drink first don't worry!"

Leila assured me while flirting, maybe to his boylet now?

The sweet cherry flavor of the drink touched hard my throat. It's good that it's still a little bit sweet. Three girls and three boys in our place. After catching up with them I went to railings also to get away from Hanz and watched the people downstairs busy dancing wildly. It's crowded. This upstairs seems to be slight private though…it's not that private.

"Wanna dance?" Hanz husky voice at my ear.

I think I'm used to this kind of gestures by him. I decide not to speak even though I feel uncomfortable with his moves.

I smiled and nodded.

While walking downstairs with him. His hands were still snaked in my waist. Though I want to remove it but I just didn't . This is bar after all, I shouldn't make this a big deal.

Some girls tried to get near him but he doesn't gave them a glimpse. I wouldn't be amazed. I'm actually blessed that I'm one of his friends. Hanz is an international model. With his army haircut. Toned muscle at the right places and his fair skin. Plus his height. His face looks so soft and innocent. Her nose were pointed and all white sets of teeth with his killer smile and charming light brown eyes. He looks like a type of charming soldier blown away in modeling industry.

He told me back then that it was his just past time but he liked it eventually. But because they have a business it just became his hobby and he's just a freelance now. He was the main endorser of Calvin Klein apparel. Every year he's in showbiz magazine. No wonder! Why he's famous. We once had an issue back then…

International model Hanz Miranda seen in an Italian restaurant with a girl.

Title of new released magazine I saw while killing my time here inside of bookstore. We're actually having a lunch outside in some Italian restaurant again in the end we didn't make it. We just went to Vana's condo. I also told him that he needs to make make something from that rumor in magazine. Though my face not seen on picture but only my back I'm still feeling kinda nervous about it.

"Why do I have to counter that headline? So what! if that's what they think?"

I'm expaling it to him for almost an hour. That it shouldn't be like that but he just won't listen. According for him it's okay. For him! What if someone's gonna ask him? I don't want to be famous! Besides! Peoples mindset here in Philippines is so damn sickening. I'm living a peaceful life here I don't want anything that can make me bother.

"You won't?" I warned him.

He stood up and looked at me tirely.

Vana is just quiet while scrolling in her phone. After some arguments he posted status on his twitter account. I was so demanding that time that I even want him to have a presscon. He said it's fine so I just let it go. Anyway, it will vanished like a smoke in time.

"You smell really good…"

He told me while we're dancing. Her mouth near in my ear again. It's too near and giving me goosebumps. I can't dance properly because his body is damn near in my back. I even felt him poking on my back.

"Probably the perfume…" I answered while calming myself down.

If I have a chance I did stay away from him a nd dnace but not minutes after he's on my back again. The loud trance music and alcohol making me more tipsy. Hanz's contineously giving me drink. I sit know where he get thay. After all, it bar. Instead of minding him I just swallowed the liquors he's giving me. My visions is waving, the alcohols effect probably. Hanz's eyes were bloodshot looking at me. He even said weird things that I don't understand.

"Yoohooo!" I shouted when I drank the shot he gave me again.

I am so lost to this place. His hands were on my waist and I'm just dancing while he's on my back. I'm just dancing with my both hands up in the air. Feeling the effect of alcohol I roamed around my eyes. With my every move it was followed by Hanz. He's starting to piss me off but I just couldn't stop him. I think I'm drunk!

I feel like I was splashed by a cold water. I was stunned. The effect of alcohols easily vanished. My heart pounded harshly and my hands tremny up in the air. I put it down and fears hovered me. I can't dance on Hanz body rythm. My eyes glued with extreme fear.

I'm starting to lose my mind out of fear and shock.

On the upstairs were the man who's looking at me intently not so far in our place upstairs. His tall and firm stance caught me off in fears. Even it's far I know he's eyes were directing at me. Dark and full of anger. His thick blacked eyebrows were almost crossed. No! It really is. My knees now trembling. My breathing is so heavy. I can't close my eyes, afraid that if I'd blink he's suddenly infront of me.

"I-I'll j-just be in p-powder r-room…" my voice trembling in fears as I said to Hanz.

I don't know if he heard it or he understands it. I didn't bother myself even I'm bumping to different people and struggling to escape and get out. I need to get out of here. With my trembling hands I'm finding my key in my purse.

I wasn't wrong in what I saw.

It was him…it was him…I'm sure of it…

"Fuck!" I cursed when I realized is isn't bring my win car.

I only saw two people in parking lot and they're far away from here. I feel like my heart wants to leap out. I'm so damn afraid. I feel like I will just collapsed in any minute. Damn it! I looked around checking if he followed me here. I looked at my trembling hands. I shut my eyes tightly and heaved a deep breath. Hoping that it will easy my fears.

In a snap I feel like the heaven ran away from me.

"Where do you think you're going huh?..." his husky firm voice at the back of my ear.

I gasped when I felt his hot breathe. I'm now totally stunned. My breathing almskgy stopped when I felt his presence behind me.

"Tatakas ka na naman…" it was a statement.

Damn it! I don't know what to do!. He said firmly. The anger was evident. My whole body trembling in fears. I don't know what to do!

I can't move!

I feel like my feet rooted. I'm controlling my breathing. Afraid that if I might breath heavily I might be in danger. His presence bothered me and made me nervous. Add his manly scent that I didn't forget at all.

"e-excuse m-me S-Sir!"

Even I'm nervous and so damn afraid. I still managed to ran away with sweating bullets and loud beatings of my heart.

I'm so thankful that my feet sided me.

I thought I couldn't run. I thought I'll just going to stuck there while thinking how can I save my life later.

In all of time and places I never thought that we will see each other. Before going in bar I thought I was wrong and the past is just haunting me. It's haunting me indeed at all! I thought because it's the month where happened everything that's the reason why I'm being paranoid…

Damn it!...I'm gonna hide again. I'm gonna escape again….