Chapter 11: Waiting on the other side

The lake looked exactly as she remembered it. Rion helped her dismount the house, the silence between them wrapping her like a warm blanket. Content, she sat on the grass and pulled out some cookies from her apron.

''It never ceases to surprise me how much you can hide in there'' Rion chuckled.

''A whole new identity'' Helena thought to herself.

''Here, try them and tell me what you think'' she watched him sample the treats.

''They taste nice'' his eyes were shining and she could tell he had a sweet tooth. Satisfied with his answer, she got up and headed towards the lake and quickly took off her shoes, dipping her feet in the water. ''Isn't it too cold for that?'' his voice sounded concerned.

''Just for a while, I will be alright'' she said, her back still turned to him. The coldness of water felt as if thousands of knives were stabbing her skin, yet she found relief in that: for the first time in months, she felt alive. She jumped out of the water and ran towards Rion, just to sit on his lap.

''Elena'' he didn't sound too pleased. ''You can't do that''.

''Why not?'' her arms wrapped around his neck. ''What's wrong with it?''.

''What if someone sees us?''.

''We can just tell them that we are a pair of siblings''.

''I thought you didn't see me as a brother'' she didn't respond and instead, munched on a cookie. Seeing him flustered was strangely entertaining to her.

''Have you managed to finish reading the books?''.

''Yes, I must have re-read them a couple of times, too''.

''I'm sorry, I should have brought you some more. Maybe I need to start carrying a suitcase with me'' the idea didn't seem too bad though by the look on his face, he didn't seem to be approving of it.

''It would only trouble you. I am more than content with what you bring me already''.

''That's good. Sometimes I worry that if I were to stop, you would have no reason to hang out with me'' his eyes pierced through her.

''Do you really think this way of me?'' his hand grabbed her chin and pointed it towards his face. ''That I want to use you or keep you by my side for personal gain?'' she could tell that he felt insulted.

''I've noticed that whenever we are at this lake, we tend to have these difficult conversations'' his expression relaxed a bit upon hearing her words. ''I was simply jesting. I guess maybe it is my winning personality that makes you spend time with me''.

''Most definitely'' his laughter sounded carefree. ''You're special after all''.

She didn't dare to cross the line between them even more and instead, decided to accept his words at the face value. His gaze looked questioning as if he was waiting for her next move.

''Let's head back before they start assuming that you stole their horse'' she said instead and got up from his lap.

''Are you heading back already? I thought...'' he stopped, flustered. ''Elena, can I ask you something?''.

''What is it?''.

''Are you already... engaged?'' he looked away, light breeze messing his hair.

''No, I'm not! What makes you think so?''.

''In the book that I read... it said that it was customary for the noble girls to be engaged, sometimes even at birth'' so he suspected that she was from the nobility, Helena thought to herself.

''I didn't even have my debutante ball yet, I'm scheduled to have it once I turn 16''.

''That's... very soon'' he still didn't dare to look at her. Helena couldn't tell where his questions were heading.

''Well, it's in more than 5 years, so I don't worry about it too much''.

''Does it make you worried?'' his expression changed and she seemed to catch his attention again.

''Of course, I do not wish to marry someone my family chooses for me. I wish to marry someone I love'' she blushed.

''I see'' he mumbled. Without further questions, he lift her up and placed her on the saddle.

While on their way back, Helena struggled to bring the reason as to why she wouldn't be able to see him for a while again. She kept sighing to herself, pondering about the best way of communicating it.

''Just spill it out, Elena, I can hear you are brewing'' Rion sounded annoyed.

''I won't be able to see you again for a few weeks, maybe even a few months''. Rion suddenly pulled the reins, making the horse stop abruptly. She barely managed to stay in a saddle. ''Hey, be careful''.

''Are you ill?'' once again, he grabbed her chin and pulled it towards himself, his gaze investigating. ''You look a bit pale. Should I prepare some herbal medicine for you?''.

''I'm quite alright, thank you'' Helena couldn't take her eyes off him. ''That's not the problem''.

''Then what is it? If you require transportation, I can pick you up from wherever you wish'' it was the first time that he proposed to go out of his way to meet her. Her heart fluttered.

''The truth is... my family is going to have some important visitors soon, and I am to entertain them. I do not know how long they will wish to stay. It can turn into months and I will not have any time for myself, really'' her voice was dripping with disappointment.

''There is nothing you can do about it'' he tried to console her by giving her a weak smile. ''Maybe it won't be as tedious as you think''. He let go of her chin and signaled to the horse to resume trotting.

''Oh, it will be'' she clenched her teeth. ''I won't be able to be myself for another few months''.

''Be yourself?''.

''Every day, I am wearing a mask. You don't even know how tiring it gets'' she closed her eyes. ''Saying yes to everything. No one trying to listen to what you think. It gets incredibly lonely''.

''Maybe you should hire a certain stable boy to keep you company'' she jerked her head up.

''Do you mean that?'' before he had a chance to answer, they heard a voice calling for Rion. Panicked, Helena pulled her coif as much as she could in an attempt to cover her face. Rion raised his arm, further sheltering her.

''Lina, is that you?'' he called out.

''Rion, I have been looking for you everywhere!'' Helena caught a glimpse of a girl around their age. She noticed her slim frame. ''Oh, you have company! Who is this?'' a sense of thrill went through Helena's body. What if they get caught?

''It's my sister''.

''Oh, hi Rachel! I always wanted to meet you'' before Helena had a chance to answer, Rion pushed her even closer to himself.

''She can't speak, she is ill. I was just about to take her back to see the doctor''.

''I'm sorry to be interrupting you then, but you promised to help me earlier today'' Helena could tell the girl was pouting.

''I promise I won't take long''.

''Well, take care then. Get better soon, Rachel!'' getting no response, the girl left.

Once Helena's heart calmed down, she looked at Rion. She felt strangely upset with him.

''Lina, is it?'' she slid down and stood on her feet, wobbling. ''I won't keep you much longer then''.

''Elena'' she knew this tone all too well. ''She's just a farm girl. I'm helping her with heavy lifting whenever it's needed''.

''Right, and that's all'' she felt childish, showing her jealousy in such a crude way. ''I'm sure she thinks you're just a stable boy, too''. She stormed in the direction of the castle. Behind her, she heard Rion getting off the horse. Before she managed to gain distance from him, he pulled her in towards himself, his chest against her back.

''Elena'' hearing his voice made her melt inside. ''Why aren't you listening? I said you are special to me. I meant everything I said'' she turned back, facing him. There was worry in his eyes which she hasn't seen before. She raised her hand and stroked his cheek, her anger long gone.

''I'll be back as soon as I can, Rion. You should head back''.

''Answer me'' did she hear a hint of desperation in his voice? ''Do you believe me? It's not about the gifts that you bring me nor me trying to gain something from you. I want to see you for who you are''.

''You already do'' he covered her hand with his and closed his eyes, letting his head rest on her palm. This moment of weakness made her feel like he too was trying to show her who he was. ''No one knows me as well as you do, Rion''.

''Promise me you will be back. No matter how long it takes, you will come to see me again'' she felt sad thinking that aside from her and Rachel, he was abandoned by those who were supposed to take care of him.

''I will always come to find you. Even if I die, my ghost will keep chasing after you, Rion''.

''Let's hope it won't have to come to this. I'm not particularly fond of ghosts''.

''Who would have thought?' she laughed. ''Goodbye'' just as she did after first meeting him, she climbed on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, making him blush. She hoped it wouldn't have been for the last time.