Chapter 61

Henry was once again slamming his head onto his coffee table. That is the sight Joshua opened the door to as he left his room to fill his water bottle for the seventeenth time since having retired to the spare room for the day.

It had been five days since Joshua had run away from his family home.

The younger man had not been home when he got in from work, in fact, other than the weekend, the two had barely seen each other. The only time they shared were the couple hours they had spare to relax in the living area after dinner. Occasionally they would have a conversation, but with the increasing number of petty arguments, the two ended up just sitting in each other's company, doing their own thing while making sure to not distract the other.

This did lead to a couple occasions over the weekend where one of them would be irritated by the other with no provocation, leading them to annoy the other on purpose.

Thankfully for the two men, and all of those who worked with them, after a weekend of being at ends, the irritability had slowly started to subside. It was safe to say that the last two days of work had been far better than the Friday just gone.

However, the withdrawal was still very much ruining their lives, even if the nicotine itself was still being provided by the patches.

Which brings us back to the younger man repetitively slamming his head down with a loud thud, the living area only lit by the faint half-moon light that came through the half-drawn windows.

Joshua was unsure of when Henry had come home, but it must have been somewhat recently seeing as he had been in and out of the spare room all night. It was now just passed midnight, but it seemed like Henry had come here straight from work. The older man moved closer and saw that other than his dress shirt now relaxed and blazer jacket missing, the younger man was still dressed as he had been when they left in the morning. And now that he was closer, he could see that Henry really was not holding back on the table.

"How long do you plan to keep going?"

The young man paused mid slam, his hair hiding his expression. "For however long it takes to reset my brain?"

Henry did not explain any further, returning to hitting his head on the coffee table. The other man quickly reacted, holding him back by the collar before impact was made. With a strangled groan, Henry sat up and turned to glare at the older man.

The young man was not sure why, but the expression he was faced with was not what he was expecting. There was just something about Joshua's face that seemed unordinary. His eyes seemed a little gazey, cheeks a slightly flushed. His translucent skin seemed to almost glow in the dark. After five days of Joshua in his apartment, regardless of how dressed up or down he was, regardless of whether he was half asleep or wide awake, this was by far the most different he had seen the man.

It only took a fraction of a second for Henry to come up with reasoning behind all of this. Not only was he also in withdrawal, but Joshua's coping mechanism seemed to be throwing himself into work – clearly Henry had zero self-awareness – and he had been completely ignoring his still healing ankle. Even the older man did not notice it, but by the evening, he would always be limping. He was probably pushing his body a little too hard, which would explain the flushed expression. The misty eyes were obviously down to how it was the middle of the night.

Everything else, and the entire undertone of his description, was all down to Henry himself. That and his current… headspace.

That had to be it, which only meant one thing, he should go back to trying to reset his head on his coffee table.

"Enough trying to smash your brains in. Remember we're engaged? If you die in any way, I am going to be the first suspect."

Even as the words left Joshua's mouth, he found himself wishing he could also smash his brains in. How was that his initial response? Why was that his initial response? When was it ever a response? Suddenly, he wanted to leave the younger man to his… whatever he was doing. All Joshua needed right now was an icy glass of water to try and soothe his mind… or perhaps just douse himself in cold water, that would also work… even if he had already tried that.

Joshua shook his head, suddenly extremely conscious that he had started rubbing his toes together as he stood there. The action itself was menial, it meant nothing, but to Joshua he simply felt more and more conscious of himself, which was the last thing he wanted. The only good that came out of it was that the older man realised he was still holding the other by the collar, letting go.

"Just get up and go to bed."

Henry sighed, running his clammy hands down his face. Joshua was not wrong. What else could he do then try and sleep? It was not like he could go out with the current situation. And he definitely could not keep slamming his head against the table, the numbness from the initial bashing was fading away, and now all that was left was a dull, irritating throb. He nodded, looking at his hands for a moment while his brain came up with a quick plan for the night.

Rather than just suffering the stifling sensation, he would have a cold shower, some chamomile tea and try to sleep to a documentary or audio book or some sort of meditation induction.

Thinking of audio, he could-

Henry stopped his thoughts short, not wanting to realise the words in his head. If it was that easy, he would have dealt with himself straight away.

In the short moment of silence, Joshua watched Henry's behaviour. And seeing it, his mind went straight back to the scene from one of his favourite novels he had found himself reading for the first time today. Before he knew it, the entire scene replaying in his head with an almost horrifying amount of detail. This had been one of the reasons he had found himself avoiding smut scenes, he knew his own imagery capabilities.

By the time Joshua had snapped out of it, he realised it did not matter how many icy glasses of water he drank, the stifling heat was not going anywhere. At this point, as long as he could keep it discreet enough for the younger man's sharp instincts not to catch on, he could call it a win.

Similarly, Henry had come to a similar consensus, if his current state was not exposed to Joshua, the night would be a success.

Unfortunately for them, both were far too absent minded to get even close to succeeding. Instead, the situation blew up in their faces… thankfully not literally.

Henry went to stand up, stumbling as he moved too fast. The injury on his side, as horrific as it still looked while the scars settled, was almost forgettable, except for one situation: when he moved to quickly. Before he even realised, Joshua had grabbed his arm and stopped Henry from crashing to the floor, allowing him to find his balance at a half crouch.

The younger man let out a sigh of relief only to then finding himself inhaling so sharply he choked from shock. Other that, he could only blink, not quite knowing how to process the image in front of him.

It was dark, and Joshua was wearing black sweatpants, the baggy kind. Nothing should have been noticeable.

The only issue was the Henry had steadied himself less than a forearm's length away from the older man's crotch…