The Plunger, the Princess, and the Preposterous Plans

Life as the Eminence in Shadow was exhilarating. His followers, convinced of his brilliance and bound by their oath of jam, carried out his whims with utmost devotion. Academy students snuck him 'forbidden knowledge' (recipe books swiped from kitchens). The kitchen staff baked increasingly dubious, allegedly power-enhancing snacks. Captain Darius, with admirable earnestness, led his Guardsmen on night patrols for non-existent tentacle monsters. It was a glorious, ever-growing cycle of absurdity.And then Princess Olivia happened.The princess was spirited, intelligent, and thoroughly unimpressed by Ravi's supposed influence. Their first encounter was at a royal banquet (to which he'd been reinstated after the Ominous Bloom incident subsided—the glowing squirrels had become a tourist attraction)."So," Olivia began, cornering him by the dessert table, a twinkle of defiance in her eyes, "tell me, Lord Absolute, what profound plan do you have for the upcoming trade negotiations? Or shall we discuss the threat posed by the infamous gelatinous cube from the north?"Ravi, mid-bite of an alarmingly purple pastry, choked. The trade negotiations? He didn't even know those were happening!"The wisest course of action," he improvised, channeling every ounce of faux-guru energy, "is often shrouded in ambiguity. True power lies in the unseen, in the unexpected."Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? So, no actual plan, then?"Blast! Most nobles were easily cowed by his nonsensical pronouncements. This princess had a dangerous glint in her eye, as if she saw through his charade. A challenge… and challenges were always more fun."Plans," he declared airily, "are for those bound by the ordinary. But for the Eternal Moon? We transcend mere plans!"With a flourish, he whipped out his trusty plunger-relic. "With this, the very foundation of the trade agreement will tremble!"A flicker of doubt crossed Olivia's face, quickly replaced by amusement. This could get interesting. "Very well, absolute. Prove it."Ravi didn't know what 'it' was, but retreat was impossible.The following week saw the most unusual disruption to ever hit a trade summit. Glittery substances (liberated from the academy's craft room) rained upon confused delegates, accompanied by a cacophony of squeaky noises produced by Ravi's hastily assembled 'Squeaky Doom Balloon Brigade'. The summit was a disaster and a resounding success. The sheer absurdity broke a deadlock, forcing disgruntled parties to renegotiate with a newfound appreciation for 'unconventional perspectives'. Ravi was hailed as either a genius or a madman, with the Princess watching the chaos unfold with a smile on her lips.Word of Eternal Moon's 'influence' spread. Supplicants arrived at his door, a mix of desperate petitioners and opportunistic schemers drawn to the whispers of his power. His followers grew, and the academy became a hub of delightfully chaotic activity.Yet, one figure remained infuriatingly out of reach: Lady Priscilla. Despite being a founding member of the anti-cult resistance, she treated Ravi with thinly-veiled disdain. One glare from her was enough to dampen his most dramatic speeches. He needed her as an ally, or at least, less of an adversary."Captain Darius," Ravi announced one afternoon, a particularly sticky pastry in hand, "a matter of utmost importance requires your expertise."Darius, loyal as ever, stiffened. "Name it, Lord Absolute!""Infiltrate Lady Priscilla's residence," Ravi whispered, crumbs flying. "Discover her weakness.""But…won't that be illegal?""For Eternal Moon, no mission is impossible!" Ravi declared.The resulting 'mission' can only be described as slapstick espionage. Darius, a skilled knight but utterly inept at stealth, returned with a bewildered report about excessive flowerpot usage, a suspicious fondness for herbal teas, and an alarmingly fluffy cat.Ravi slumped in his chair. This was hopeless. Then, inspiration struck. "The cat," he murmured. "That's it."A week later, Ravi confronted Lady Priscilla amidst a stack of scrolls and a basket at his feet. "A gift," he announced grandly, "in recognition of your tireless service."Priscilla eyed him warily. Inside the basket, a kitten (acquired under dubious circumstances from the palace stables) blinked innocently, promptly sneezing a wad of fur into her face. Despite her best efforts, a stifled laugh escaped her stern demeanor."A…kitten?" was all she could manage."Power, Lady Priscilla," Ravi said gravely, "comes in unexpected forms."In the days that followed, the fearsome Lady Priscilla was seen discreetly acquiring fluffy toys and sneaking treats to the kitten she adamantly swore was not hers. It was a small victory, but an oddly satisfying one. Perhaps, he mused, true influence wasn't always about grand schemes and doom plungers. Sometimes, it was about cat-based diplomacy.