7. Don't fade away (2) Penance

"This is Kim Sun-tak!"

It was Seonwoo's brother. Did I ever give him my home address? I was puzzled. But I had to open the door first.

"Come in quickly. It's dangerous to be outside when the sirens go off."

As soon as he stepped into the entrance, I hurriedly closed the door.

"That's right. If you had opened the door a little later, it would have been dangerous. Looks like there's no electricity here at all?"

He asked as he entered the house. I quickly turned on the flashlight on my wrist. Even in the midst of this, my mind was filled with thoughts of Dohyun, who was left behind in Finland.

"Yes. Not yet here. But how did you come?"

"I heard from Seonwoo."

"Oh, that's..."

I couldn't speak. It wasn't easy to tell someone who had come all this way with such urgency that I hadn't found him yet.

"Mother has been waiting a lot, so I came to take him myself. I miss him so much... Where is he now, my brother?"

He asked, leaning forward. His thin jacket rustled as it moved aside. Inside the jacket, I could see a logo of a famous brand flashing in the dark. He seemed to have a lot of gray hair in front when I saw him last time, but now it seemed dyed black.

"Actually, about Seonwoo..."

I struggled to speak, but my phone started vibrating. The screen showed the name 'Han In-cheol'. Who was that again? After three more vibrations, it finally occurred to me. He was the police officer who had been in charge of the Nam Yeong-kang murder case. A captain at the Central Police Station with an empty spot in the middle of his head.

"Just a moment. I'll take the call."

I asked for Seonwoo's brother's permission and answered the call in a corner of the living room.

"Yes, this is Yoo Hee-jae."

"It's the police. Han In-cheol. Remember me?"

His voice was accompanied by a bustling sound in the background.

"Yes. What's the matter?"

"We have a breakthrough in the Nam Yeong-kang murder case. The perpetrator confessed to a new fact, and it turns out it wasn't an accidental murder but a planned one."

Han In-cheol said, panting. But why was he telling me this? He was the one who said he couldn't disclose any information unless it was an immediate family member when I asked about Seonwoo's news.

"Why?"

"We need to hear from the person who commissioned the murder for the reasons..."

"If you're calling me, do the family members know?"

I interrupted Han In-cheol and asked. Without realizing it, I glanced at Seonwoo's brother's face and quickly turned away. Then, the siren stopped, and everything suddenly became quiet. I retreated into the curtains to ensure that the sound of the call didn't leak outside. I saw a car with its engine running outside the window. It seemed to be Seonwoo's brother's car.

"There are no family members to inform. The victim's wife passed away a long time ago, and the adopted son went missing..."

If the victim's wife was Seonwoo's mother. But dead? It couldn't be. Seonwoo's brother had said she was very ill. Han In-cheol was about to say something else when suddenly the curtain was roughly pulled aside.

"Just cut it short. I'm busy too."

Seonwoo's brother grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Just a moment."

I hid back into the curtain. But the car outside caught my eye. A shallow black sports car. Where had I seen it before? When I went to Daeseok Port, the car that followed me, the one I believed was bringing new misfortune to me. Maybe they sent someone to kill me from that car. But why did my suspicions always lead me in the wrong direction...

I bit my lower lip hard. I had to suppress the boiling emotions rising from my chest as much as possible.

"Who's there? Who's inside?"

As I stepped out of the curtain, Kim Sun-tak asked. There was suspicion in his voice.

"He's an acquaintance."

"You're too composed."

His sarcastic tone irritated me. I hoped the light wouldn't illuminate my expression too clearly.

"Since we're not that close. Should I get you some water? There's nothing much to offer, as you can see."

I tried to act as casual as possible and handed him the bottle of water lying on the kitchen floor.

"Never mind. So, where is our Seonwoo now? Did you really find him?"

He pushed the water bottle away with his hand.

"In fact, he's on his way to our house."

That didn't mean Seonwoo was coming.

"I thought so. You said in the text that you were meeting Seonwoo, and for some reason, I had a feeling he would come here. Ah, today!"

He laughed shortly at the end of his sentence.

"What's today?"

"What do you think? It's the day to meet Seonwoo and our mother. How much she missed him... But how come there's only one chair to sit on in this house?"

Kim Sun-tak muttered to himself as if talking to himself. His complaining tone annoyed me. I wished he wouldn't reveal his true intentions.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?"

He started fidgeting, placing his clenched fist on his knees. Even his small movements felt unpleasant. I kept myself away from him, leaning against the wall.

"What?"

"I'm your elder, but why did you look for Seonwoo?"

"I wanted to let him know."

"What?"

"The murderer who killed Seonwoo's father. He's been caught by the police. When that murder happened, everyone suspected Seonwoo. So, we should know now."

"Doesn't Seonwoo already know? If he didn't die, he would have heard it from somewhere. It was all over the news and the internet... Be honest. Living in a house without electricity, you're good at minding others' business. Why were you so keen on finding a runaway guy, hiding himself?"

At first, I thought it was a question, but I realized it was a resentment. Even though the police hadn't arrived yet, I didn't want to indulge such behavior.

"Yes, that's right. Seonwoo might already know. But I was curious."

"What about?"

"How he's doing. He must have had a hard time, but is he living well now?"

I looked into Kim Sun-tak's eyes as I spoke, but he wouldn't be able to perceive the emotions hidden in my gaze.

"Ugh, gives me chills!"

Kim Sun-tak shuddered and then stood up abruptly, approaching me. He snatched the phone from my hand and put it in his pocket. He finally showed his true colors. I felt lost about what to do. He poked my shoulder with his finger.

"You really don't know anything. Seonwoo left because no one believed in him. But suddenly, after seven years, you're curious if he's doing well? I exist, you know. Hypocritical people like you don't seem human. If you're human, you should be honest, but you're not. You pick a good-looking reason to hide your filthy heart inside, which is sinister and dangerous. People who put trash in pretty boxes..."

Kim Sun-tak stepped even closer to me. His unstable breath was felt near my nose. He stood askew, still continuing his unfinished words.

"To be honest, you also thought my brother was the culprit. So, every time you saw Seonwoo, you must have been very scared. That's why you didn't bother to look for him when he disappeared. But suddenly, now that the real culprit has been caught, it's absurd! You thought of yourself as a good person, but now it feels like you've become a bad person for no reason, and it feels uncomfortable... So, to ease your mind, did you want to find the guy who disappeared? Did you want to do some sort of penance before the world collapses? Right? That's it, isn't it?"

He pushed his head forward, forcing me to answer. I resisted the urge to push away his distorted face.