5. The People with Nowhere to Return (6) Extinction

Is the misfortune that comes with using the teleporter finally revealing itself every time? Or is Bacama trying to kill me as a price for uncovering information without permission? Perhaps it could be both.

I parked my car in the apartment's ground parking lot for a moment and called Jin-ah senior. While waiting for the signal to go through, I kept a vigilant eye on my surroundings. Another car that had been following mine turned on its headlights at the apartment entrance and then disappeared.

"Hey, Hee-jae."

As soon as she picked up the phone, Jin-ah senior called my name. She was the person who called my name most warmly in the world.

"Senior, I brought the medication for So-hee. I'm downstairs at your place right now."

"Really? But why did you come in person? It's dangerous."

Her concern was always genuine. Receiving someone's concern felt like being wrapped in an extra layer of transparent protection against approaching dangers. Even if it burst like a soap bubble in the face of imminent danger, at least my heart could be a little less vulnerable.

"I went somewhere briefly and stopped by on my way home. Should I come up to your place, senior?"

"No, stay in the car for a moment. This neighborhood is ominous too, so you shouldn't leave the car unattended. I'll send B down."

A little later, B senior jumped into the passenger seat dressed in olive field attire. His face seemed more worn than it had a few days ago.

"Hee-jae, how did you manage to get the medication? I heard it's hard to find Prothionamide."

B senior said as he pushed up his round glasses.

"There was a way. If you need more, just let me know, and I'll try to get it next time."

I handed him the paper bag containing Prothionamide.

"Thank you, really, thank you. I'll repay you when I can."

"It's okay, senior. But So-hee..."

As I was about to ask B senior about So-hee's health, something passed by in the rearview mirror. It looked like a person. After blinking my eyes a few times, I turned my body to look around the car. But all I could see was the gray-brown apartment building and the snow-covered parking lot; there was no sign of anyone resembling a person. Did I see it wrong?

"What's wrong? Is something there? Should I go out and check?"

B senior also checked the area that my gaze fell upon. I stopped him from going outside.

"No, it's nothing. Um... senior, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"You mentioned it before, right? That you can get a gun from the junk shop. Could I also get one?"

B senior adjusted his seat and put on a serious expression.

"Why? Is there something going on?"

"No, it's just that I feel like I should have one."

"I can look into it for you. They don't take money there; they only take goods. But you don't have anything to sell now, do you?"

His words were true.

"No, I don't."

"Still, I can inquire. They're going to the Iron and Steel Market later. But why do you really need a gun? Honestly, tell me."

"These days, there are so many scary things happening, so I want it for self-defense."

"I see."

I couldn't go into detail about my situation. I didn't want to burden B senior and his wife with my worries. B senior seemed to understand my explanation, but he didn't completely trust it.

"Hold on for a moment. Why is your hand like that?"

B senior suddenly mentioned, looking at his hand. It was covered with a red rash.

"Wait, senior. Let me fill up your car with gas. It seems like there's a shortage of gasoline."

He looked at me and said, holding up his hand.

"Hee-jae, I've never driven a gas car before."

He said as he held his hand over the rash and then concealed it inside his worn sleeve. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that his neck and jaw area were also red and irritated.

"I ate something wrong, and it turned out like this. It's not a big deal."

I called B senior back after he got out of the car to say goodbye.

That night, I received a call from B senior. He mentioned that he could arrange to get the gun from the Iron and Steel Market. However, they requested computer or car parts in exchange. I hesitated for a moment but decided to give up my car since I couldn't even refuel it anymore.

The transaction happened faster than expected. The owner of Hwasein Steel, a man with a long white beard, came to pick up my car as soon as he learned the gun was available.

The news of B senior's death came the very next day. Jin-ah senior called me.

"Hee-jae, I think B is dead."

Her words were so shocking that every syllable felt disjointed.

"What do you mean, senior?"

"I woke up, and B wasn't breathing. He was cold."

She spoke with a vacant tone, as if her mind had disconnected. In the background, I could hear So-hee's crying, sounding lost and inconsolable. My mind spun wildly, and my heart raced. I tried to calm Jin-ah senior and called 911. It took a long time for the call to connect, and they said it would be an additional hour for the ambulance to arrive.

***

Life after death was, in a way, the easiest thing in the world. All the processes that followed seemed trivial compared to the imminent collapse of everything that surrounded me.

People who had been dear to me had either left or were now very far away. Loneliness, the only emotion that remained, nestled itself in the least important corner of my being. The most crucial fact was that everything surrounding me was crumbling down at a rate I couldn't cope with.

Jin-ah senior and I promised to continue sending So-hee's medication. However, she believed that she needed to sever the bond between us, which had become more of a burden than a solace, to find some semblance of relief from the overwhelming emptiness.

"Take care, senior. Stay healthy."

I said, and she replied, "I love you, Hee-jae. You stay healthy too." That was our last conversation.

***

I submerged myself in the warm water of the bathtub. It was something I swore I would never do again after witnessing my father's death in a bathtub, an experience that had left me haunted by hallucinations. The fear of drowning had made it one of the things I vowed never to do.

After moving to this place and recalling the day B senior visited my home alone, he had said something to me.

"I find it fascinating that Jin-ah and I have a child together, and there are times when we are in awe. Sometimes we argue, and sometimes everything is mundane, even utterly insignificant, yet it's all wonderful. I used to think it was just me who felt that way, but Jin-ah said the same. Why do we consider even moments of anger and sadness as happiness? We pondered such strange thoughts together and found an answer. We are both simply living in the moment. Precisely, right now! When the second hand of a clock ticks and this moment passes, the past and future cease to exist, leaving only the vast stage of 'now.' And as long as we stand on that stage alongside someone who thinks the same way, everything is okay. It's all just fine. Hee-jae, find someone who lives fully in the present. People who dwell on conditions cling to the past, and those who hesitate are tethered to the future. So, find someone who lives entirely in the present and loves and is loved by that person."

He seemed to me like someone who had given up on love. In reality, I had never given up on anything. I had loved someone who lived fully in the present, and that's why I had admired B senior while also feeling jealous.

The water began overflowing from the bathtub, and the sound of it overwhelmed me. I started gasping for breath.

One question, which I should have asked B senior, came to my mind too late.

People say that when someone dies, they are reborn and return to life through another existence. But if death continues to increase at an alarming rate and humans face extinction, where do we all return to?