34 | Spider

9:34am

: hey guys i found a spider which looks strangely like a black widow

: peter those are highly venomous

: fuck it i'm keeping it as a pet

: peter no

: peter yes

: i didn't know we got black widows here

: we don't

: which is why i'm keeping him

: peter you're gonna die

: his name is larry and he's a good boy

: peter why on earth are you letting it crawl on your hand pETER

: fUCKING HELL PETER IT'S GOING TO BITE YOU

: he won't bite me relax

: What is going on?

: finally! an adult!

: miss luthor peter has a black widow on his hand called larry

: Peter please get rid of it. I would rather not have you die.

: chill mom i'm not gonna die

: Well you might and that's not ideal is it?

: uhh guys

: it bit you didn't it?

: maybe?

: OH MY GOD JESS CALL 911

: but i'm fine guys

: PETER NOW IS NOT THE TIME

: PETER YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS INTO THE AMBULANCE WHEN IT ARRIVES

: i put larry in a jar it's fine

: iT IS NOT FINE IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE PETER

: chill

: GET IN THE AMBULANCE BEFORE I DRAG YOU IN THERE

: okay okay i'm going i'm going

12:12pm

: i've been discharged and cleared to go back to work

: what the fuck happened?

: peter got bitten by a black widow

: we were gone for one day and this happens jesus christ

: that wasn't a normal spider

: umm what

: well the doctors couldn't find any sign of venom in your blood right?

: yeah why?

: that's weird right?

: well yeah

: What bit him then?

: well the Geiger counter went crazy around the spider so it's probably radioactive

: do you feel okay?

: i feel great!

: radioactive?

: like it absorbed it like a sponge

: Maybe we should run a few scans or tests Peter. Just incase.

: if it makes you less worried then fine

: oh my god what if he gets superpowers like meta humans or the mutants

: fuck yeah superpowers

: highly unlikely

1:28pm

: well looks like i lied

: peter get off the ceiling

: sorry

6:43pm

: let's have another get-together

: like a family dinner

: you're a fugitive...

: so?

: and how are we meant to fit seventeen people in one table

: we'll have to shout to reach the other end of the table

: i think it'll be interesting

: see? officer hot agrees

: that's the first half decent idea roulette has ever thought of

: rude

: i'm in

: i'm sorry but what restaurant will serve a fugitive?

: mine

: of course you own a restaurant

: i'm in too

: sounds fun!

: kara just agrees to everything which involves food of course she'll go

: I'm up for that Veronica.

: i'll have to find ruby a babysitter but sure why not

: is the food free?

: yes

: fuck yeah i'm in!

: really maggie?

: yeah duh come on alex don't be a party pooper it's not like we're doing anything too illegal

: fine

: 'too illegal'

: i'm in

: brilliant! oh and if you see anyone doing any illegal activities please pretend you didn't see anything

: this includes if you see someone doing lines of coke in the bathroom

: wait you're inviting a bunch of people who work with law enforcement to a dodgy restaurant?

: bitch it's five stars

: google 'restaurant'

: you named your restaurant 'restaurant?'

: what the fuck

: oh i was drunk when i bought it and renamed it

: only you and lena would accidentally buy restaurants

: lena was sober most of the time when she bought her businesses by accident

: I can confirm that happened on more than one occasion.

: and i think the name's great

: it's very straight to the point

: oh wow it really is a five star restaurant

: i told you so