Scarlet Almost Spring

School let out for spring break and been hanging out with Lornen a lot more now still feel nothing for the guy but he fills the void in my heart and life for now till I don't need him any more.

Willstone has been hanging out with a different crowed and yet I know something isn't right I can still feel his feelings and it's like I can hear his thoughts inside my own mind and some of the things I do or say remind me of my true love it doesn't fade even months while being apart. I try to smile and act like everything is ok and the more it kills my soul and black heart every day.

I tried to plan a new life a fake one with someone who could never have my heart or my mind and poor Lornen never knew anything about me and my true feelings or intentions. I didn't feel bad for the guy or regret. I wanted everyone who ever I would get with to feel my pain and heartache to know my pain and how I felt.

Hoping someone anyone would see this vampriss fall or crash or help to pull me back and bring me back to life if that's what you would call a cold body and heart. I started a journal and I started to change into someone completely different then the girl that I used to know with in me and myself. I went through the rest of the school year being fake and pretending and lying but hey who cares right.

I got asked how is this fine school night and I would lie my ass off no one was safe from my lies not even me I wasn't looking forward to nothing anymore depression hit me harder then a ton of bricks and yet I put on a big show and I had everyone well except for one person fooled.

Willstone is my everything not who I had been fucking everything was ruined and fucked up yeah I regretted fucking Lornen big time because my one true love should have had that big most important part of all.