Chapter 9.14

On the long journey to the Anderson's house, I kept thinking about what I'd heard in the medical ward. Alex and Elliana talked nonsensically about random things. I half listened, watching the scenery go by. I was still wondering what she meant when we pulled up into the drive of a pretty little cottage on the edge of a town named Cenderhan. It was picture perfect image of a country cottage made out of light grey stones and small windows with flower beds in their exterior windowsills.

"You ready boys?" she asked with a smile.

I was still staring at the house in awe. I never thought I could live somewhere so nice. It looked like it belonged in a fairy tale, from its tall chimney right down to the little flower beds bordering the garden.

The interior was larger than it looked from the outside. Upon entering, there was a living room on the right which led into a dining room that spilled out into a patio when the back doors were open.

Each room had its own colour- The living room was light green; the dining room was blue, and the kitchen was yellow. Every room had its own mismatch of furniture that strangely jigsawed together quite well. Downstairs there was also a study which belong to Sean, but the door was ajar when we went past so we didn't get a good look.

"If there's anything you want to eat and we don't have it I can see if we can get it tomorrow. Is there anything you don't like?" she asks while showing us round the kitchen.

We both shake our heads; Alex was buzzing to see his bedroom so he couldn't really concentrate on anything else, but he was patient enough to wait until Elliana took us upstairs to let it show. The stair case extended over two floors; on the first, there was a bathroom with both a bath and a shower (which I thought at the time was quite a luxury) and a small spare room, and on the second floor were the bedrooms. Seeing how excited he was, Elliana showed him his bedroom first even though it was the furthest away from the stairs. Then she left him to unpack and explore to show me mine. I presumed the last door on the left belong to Elliana and Sean.

My bedroom was a long thin room that occupied most of the side of the house apart from the small bathroom at the front. At one end there was a small desk and at the other was a set of tall bay windows that overlooked the garden. Beyond the garden, I could see the rest of the town slightly obscured by the few apple trees that bordered it.

"There's a few of Sean's things still in here but I can move them out in the morning." She referred to the bookcase with leather bound books with titles I couldn't even read, and maps pinned to the wall. If not for the large bay window and the bed in the centre of the room, it reminded me of Captains office before it got taken over.

"I don't really mind them."

"Well it's up to you, but I'll leave you to get settled." She said as I sat on the edge of the bed and gazed across the room.

The bed had been neatly made in preparation and there was a nightshirt on the chair next to the bed. Everything had been prepared with care, but I felt weird sitting there. I didn't really know what to do with myself. I felt uneasy, like I didn't belong.

Then, I realised I'd been staring at the wall for a while, the sun had set, and I could barely see without the light on. I waited a bit longer before I crept into Alex's room in secret and told him what I heard. "What do you think it means?"

A sad expression crossed his face, "I know what it means. It's about my dad. He was killed around the same time you arrived. I think it was your squad that killed him."

My mind froze, my heart ached with guilt. I hated myself for things I did to survive.

"Don't worry. I don't blame you. I know you didn't have a choice." But despite his words, the pain in his expression was undeniable.

Why do people keep saying that? I had a choice. I chose to survive.

"Stop that!" he hissed angrily, "I don't want to blame you so I'm not. I don't want to be sad anymore. You're going to be my brother so let's not have secrets." he said he didn't want to be sad anymore, he could say that, but I knew that he was. You couldn't get over loosing someone like that so easily. I hated that that I was part of his pain, but he wanted me to be his brother. I don't know what that means, but I'll try my hardest.