Hand Maiden

Zhou Ra handed the Spiritual Root Wine to Lin Fan after connecting the dots that Vase Hen was no longer screaming and Lin Fan was no longer in his bed room. He wasn't what would be considered the smartest man, and only went to participate in the Forbidden Valley Tournament because his sister coerced him into going to the city.

The city was a place where she could buy a heavenly jade necklace form an auction house to decrease the rate at which she aged. Zhou Ra wasn't technically related to his sister, and therefore always wanted to please her in hopes of one day breaking through the friend-sister barrier. However, when he heard he heard Lin Fan was recruiting for the Fan Sect, he immediately decided to join to impress his sister.

His sister's name was Nella Ra, and even though they had the same surname her father and her mother had both cheated with another married couple together. His father cheated on the wife and his mother cheated on the father. After both those people died after being caught stealing Spiritual Root Onions one night when his mother was sleeping by his father, they kept the baby that those two people had. Zhou Ra, being curious about their heritage one day, decided to hire a Dragon Kin to do a blood test and it turned out his father nor her mother wasn't related to her.

Of course, he wasn't even sure if his mother was honest with her father about her other infidelities, so there was a small chance he also wasn't related to his father, however, he was sure that him and Jean Ra could work out. The only problem was she still thought they were related and found it odd when he tried to get her drunk with expensive Spritual Root Wine.

He needed to find the right time to tell her that their parents were a bunch of cheaters, all four of them, and that since getting the job as a farmer he was more qualified to have her then anyone. His body, even though it looked like an onion, was strong enough to protect her from a thousand wanton men. If she ever needed somebody to hit, he'd take it without noticing, and wouldn't even look until she said open her eyes on their wedding day.

Wait, that was his mind wandering as Lin Fan sighed and pat Zhou Ra on the shoulder. After hearing his story, he was certain that Zhou Ra had come to the right place...

"I promise... As a man who has more women then he needs, to leave your sister alone unless you die, cause us to lose the tournament, or ditch her when she's in the kitchen like my father did..."

"Sounds like a bad father... Shouldn't he have eaten the food first?" Zhou Ra said as he raised his brow and looked up at the sky. Something was approaching quickly that made him feel slightly nervous... "Okay, I accept the terms... However, I need you to tell my sister that we're not related!"

"You... you want me to help you pick up someone?" Lin Fan nodded his head as he didn't mind being a wing man... He'd help more then a few wolves meet some sexy partners back in the day... "Sure, however, I also want a little access to your farm... Just three onions a year will suffice..."

"I can sneak them away..." Zhou Ra nodded his head. Even though they were worth thousands of Horizon treasures each for his future advantage and for that beautiful figure of his dream girl he'd do it... "However, if my father catches me, I may end up dead... I need to wait until I reach the Apotheosis realm... He's a demi-god, and I really don't want to die..."

"I didn't think that's possible..." Lin Fan suddenly felt a breeze as a cloud of dust spread in every direction... "Hold on... Let me go deal with my guest before we agree to any more terms..."

"Are you Lin Fan?" Chen Low appeared like a blur as he appeared in front of Zhou Ra... "You're much fatter then I anticipated... However, it makes sense you'd reek of Spiritual Root Wine... Only the strongest and most powerful can afford it..."

"He's skinnier! Father is a lot skinnier!" Mimi Fan said as she smacked the man on the back... "Hey! Don't call Chicken Man that fat atrocity! Chicken Man would never scheme to get a women!"

"Oh... Little girl? Did you just hit me?" Chen Low smiled as his body began to glow with fire... "I didn't come here to kill children, but such a small little plucky sprite really tugs on my heart strings..."

"Get away Mimi Fan... He's strong... Go get Ja Ran and tell him to stop hitting on that Empyrean Girl up the hill..."

"Oh... You're the guy with the temple on his property..." Chen Low smiled and appeared in front of Lin Fan as he patted him on the shoulder... "What rank blacksmith are you? If you're below the fourth star, I'll cut off your head for ruining my cultivation place..."

"I'm sorry, but I haven't been rated yet... If you want to try and fight me here, I'm warning you... If I flip on this switch..." Lin Fan held the ring fire generator handle as his eyes blazed with a conceited certainty... "If I flip this switch this entire continent will explode, and take you with me..."

"Is that why you always stand by the generator?" Mimi Fan said as she scratched her head... "Were you anticipating his arrival father?"

"I... I knew what I did, and I'm afraid I don't regret it..." Lin Fan held up six fingers as he nodded his head. "However, an Empyrean calls me a Six Star Blacksmith... What do you want me to do old man?"

"Scrawny brat! Say that again and I'll chop off your head!"

"He called you scrawny!" Mimi Fan said as the man quickly appeared in front of her. At the same time, Yan Ran appeared in front of Mimi Fan with a kitchen knife as her eyes blazed... She'd been trying to cook a meal for Lin Fan and struggled with dealing with doing basic things to Princess Mane's level.

However, seeing someone dare threaten Li Fan's adopted daughter, whom he didn't have to screw anyone to make, she immediately felt protective and began to shimmer with seven colored lightning...

"I'm in the kitchen! You're ruining my meal! Touch her and you'll be eating my food first!"

"I... I... I just wanted to ask if you could help me make a hand maiden..." Chen Low abruptly turned around and walked towards Lin Fan... "A hand maiden is like a girl made out of metal that has a women sealed inside of it... I need one to cultivate for longer periods of time without getting lonely..."

"How much are you willing to pay?" Lin Fan saw an opportunity to escape for having to eat Yan Ran's meal... "If you give me a few Ascent Treasures, I'll be willing to do it..."

"Deal... I'll give you the blueprints I found on the North Continent... However, if you make one of these for anyone else I'll need 30 percent of what you make..."

"You remind me of me... However, I'll only give you 10 percent..." Lin Fan bobbed his head with assurance as Chen Low sighed and agreed on twenty percent...

Yan Ran was the only one who seemed unhappy as Lin Fan abruptly disappeared with An Moe to study the design... How were they going to eat her food when he had to be busy for long hours again! The only one she could trust was Su Fan and it was because she always walked into the kitchen by accident!

Her main concern was that she wouldn't be a good wife and would get replaced when Lin Fan earned more meritorious awards. She needed to at least have the key to his stomach if she couldn't have him completely to herself!

"I.. I'll taste your food..." Lightning Woo said as he nodded his head at Yan Ran as she started to cry silently to herself... "I like the taste of anything! Even if it tastes like raw flesh! Maybe you just need to cook your food for longer..."

"I... I'm... I'm just trying to make it rare like my love for Lin Fan... Is that so wrong?"

A fire began to burn behind Yan Ran as Princess Mane ran outside with horror. Yan Ran had decided to bring some other world ingredients to their kitchen, and it was starting to heat up past the point she could control...

"It's going to explode! Get down!" Princess Mane jumped onto Mimi Fan as a gigantic fireball shot up behind them... This was the third kitchen this week that had been wrecked, and Lin Fan's hammer could be heard as his stomach grumbled...