chapter five: annoying the alpha

CHAPTER 5

Alexa's POV

As my legs stopped pumping, I realized just how tired I was. I had run out of the ball room and out of the pack house in what felt like seconds.

I was desperate to go further, faster, anything that would take the ache and shame away. I saw how they all looked at me, like I was some sort of charity case, a plague that would likely spread if left alone.

As I felt the cool grass underneath my feet, I finally felt my muscles relax. Somewhere in the house probably laid my shoes, long forgotten as I ran away faster than Cinderella ever could.

I was bare footed, clad in a dress that could barely be called a dress and shivering. I was a wolf-less werewolf, hated by her own pack and creator.

The thought to hang myself raged rampant in my head. I never really had respect for those who committed suicide. It was always so Unclear to me.

What was so bad that would warrant you to take your own life? But now, as I sat on the cold grass in the moonlight, reminiscing on the happenings of a while ago, I could finally see from their perspective.

I could finally feel myself filling their hollow shoes, I could see myself in them. The desperation and pain to just end it all and leave the world.

And finally, after so many weeks of holding myself from breaking down, I finally cried.

I sat on the grass and just let the tears pour. I cried because of my dead parents, I cried because of how much of a failure I was, I cried because there was nothing I could do to change my fate, I cried because it all seemed so unfair.

I never really had a track of time ever since I drank most of the champagne reserved for all the guests. But as I finally looked up at the rising sun, I could tell that It was morning.

My bones felt sore, like they had been ground into dust and given to me to inhale. My head was a mess, so many thoughts ranging from good to bad.

One stuck out though, like a sore thumb. It was my most logical option. Probably the best of all the thoughts that threatened to tear my head open.

The little voice in my head was whispering...

" Why don't you just let it all go? Why don't you just run away?"

I couldn't help but agree with the voice. It would definitely be easier to leave. I would fit in with the humans, I had no wolf after all. I could leave and join their towns and live a healthy life there.

I could put all this behind me, and just move forward.

But was I really ready to do that? It was a question I could not bring myself to answer out loud.

The thought of leaving the only home I ever knew, the only place and the only piece of my parents I had left broke me.

The suggestion just rested at the back of my head, I was too much of a coward to act upon it. What if I went rogue and never found a way out of the forest and into the settlements of the humans? I have never been there before, I couldn't possibly find it.

I sighed. That was probably just my hangover talking.

As I half limped into the pack house, dragging what was left of my dignity along with me, I could not help but notice the looks those who passed me gave me.

Some snickered, some smiled and some pitied. Three emotions I hated the most, all directed towards me.

Some had the audacity to open their mouths and gossip, even though I was just within ear shot.

" Omg, I can't believe she showed her face back here, if I was the one, I would just kill myself" a girl said, snickering.

I turned back sharply, yelling after her,

" How about you just kill yourself then? Do the world a favour, we already have enough idiots to deal with and here you are, an idiot just running rampant" I said.

The girls looked at me and shook their heads.

" She really has lost it." They said, totally ignoring my outburst.

" Who wouldn't? I heard they even had sex. What kind of a despicable girl is she? She didn't even bother to wait for her mate. Well there she goes, the moon goddess would probably never mate her" another said.

I felt my hands grip my torn dress tightly, trying to control the emotions that were flooding me.

The tears were threatening to drop again. I was sure I had run out of tears but my body never seized to surprise me.

As I walked slowly back to my room, I saw a guard positioned there, just standing.

I raised an eyebrow.

Well that was new. Definitely not something I was used to. No guard cared enough about the welfare and safety of the servants quarters to stand guard by the door.

When he saw me approaching, he stood straight. Just then, it became clear to me. He was not here to protect the sorry excuses of our lives, he was here because he wanted to summon me.

" Alexa, the alpha has asked that you be brought to his office" he said in a monotone voice.

I could feel my heart thudding in my chest gently. What was this all about?

I have done nothing and I have offended no one. I saw no reason to be afraid but yet, I could not stop the feeling of doom that kept creeping into my stomach, crippling my steps and forcing me to take in deep long breathes.

The alpha's office was where my dad and I used to have our bonding time. Brave Armstrong was shameful enough to keep using it as it was. No single thing changed.

As I stepped into the office, I could see everything just in place. It almost looked like my father had not been dead for the past two years.

The aura of the room was different now. The scent my father had, that sandal wood and earthy scent, it was gone, replaced by a stank smell that reminded me too much of rotting woods.

He sat on my father's chair, in all his glory, his hands on each arm rest like it was his to begin with.

I wanted nothing more than to rip his arms away from his body and drag his sorry excuse out of my father chair.

His son, the idiot that I had fallen in love for sat in front of him, his hands resting on the desk and looking like he was about to discuss something dreadful.

I swallowed. The guard that brought me in left the room, leaving me with the two men I hated the most in all of my existence.

" Alexa"