Facing The Past

"Hahh hahh hahh fuck! Fuck fuck"

Gasping for breath, Kelly's hands were stained with blood. His mind swirled with panic and desperation. "Fuck! Fuck!" he exclaimed; his voice filled with frustration.

Realizing that he needed to regain control, Kelly fought to steady his breathing. "I can't breathe," he muttered, his voice strained. In a daze, he struggled to calm his racing heart and bring his panic under control.

'Fuck!'

As kelly looked into his blood satin hands, he couldn't stop himself but curse.in daze he was hyperventilating and panicking.

I need to distract myself, Kelly thought, desperately searching for something to shift his focus. He glanced around his surroundings, hoping to find a source of solace amidst the chaos.

"I I can't take it anymore ugahhh"

"I want to go home Ahhh"

"Damn! It's so much fun"

"God! Come at me hehehe let me kill you all"

'Hell! It's pandemonium here, Ok calm down it's just the first floor of dungeon damnit.'

Kelly and his classmates found themselves thrust into their first real battle outside a mid-grade dungeon, designed specifically for beginners like them. The intensity of the fight was already taking a toll on everyone involved, both physically and emotionally and worse of all they were not even inside the dungeon yet.

Some of Kelly's classmates couldn't handle the brutal reality before them, collapsing into tears and assuming fetal positions, overwhelmed by the horrors they were witnessing. Others, driven by a primal instinct, mindlessly engaged in acts of slaughter, their minds clouded by the frenzy of combat. A few succumbed to the overwhelming stress, their bodies unable to withstand the pressure, leading to vomiting and unconsciousness.

Amidst the chaos, there were those who seemed to revel in the midst of battle, finding an exhilarating joy in the adrenaline-fueled violence unfolding around them. The stark contrast between those who were deeply affected and those who seemed unaffected created a dissonant atmosphere, further adding to the surreal nature of the situation.

'Everyone is out of formation Thank God it's just some weak beast and we have knights protecting us or…'

In an attempt to distract himself, Kelly began to observe his surroundings, hoping to divert his attention from the overwhelming chaos. However, his thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a weak and stuttering voice that reached his ears.

"K-Kelly-kun," the voice called out.

Kelly turned his gaze to find Sumire, her expression distant and unfocused. Concerned, he gently placed his hands on her shoulders and spoke in a calm voice, masking the turmoil within him.

"Sumire, look at me. Everything is going to be fine, okay? You're safe, it's okay," Kelly reassured her, pulling her into a comforting hug. He lost track of time as he held her, offering support amidst the turmoil surrounding them.

Suddenly, a voice filled with authority and dignity echoed through the chaos, commanding attention and silencing the commotion that had consumed the dungeon.

"Enough!" The commanding voice of Captain William echoed through the dungeon, cutting through the chaos and bringing a momentary stillness to the scene. "You all did a commendable job. It's time to call it a day. Follow the soldiers, and they will guide you to your tents. You can choose to have your own tent or share with someone. Rest your minds tonight; we will resume tomorrow."

As the weight of Captain William's words sank in, a collective sigh of relief swept through the group. However, the latter part of his speech filled the air with a sense of dread. Some individuals began to voice their objections, but a single stern glare from the captain silenced their protests. They understood that they had no say in the matter. Reluctantly, they followed the soldiers to their assigned camps, each person separated from their classmates.

Kelly bid farewell to Sumire, who opted to share a tent with another female classmate. He, on the other hand, chose solitude for the night, seeking a moment of peace to collect his thoughts.

Throughout the night, Kelly's mind was consumed by the haunting memories of past events. All he longed for was a peaceful slumber, a temporary escape from the relentless recollections. Yet, sleep eluded him, and in his restlessness, he found himself confronting the vivid images that tormented him. Within the depths of his imagination, he relived the moment of slaying the beast, the rush of exhilaration etched on his face. But as the imaginary scene unfolded, it triggered an overwhelming flood of unwanted memories from his past. Like a forceful surge of water breaching a dam, the memories crashed upon him, engulfing him once more in their emotional grip.

In the depths of his mind, Kelly confronted the memories of his foolish encounter with a man armed with a gun. The reminiscence brought forth the vivid recollection of his misguided belief that he was invincible, the fantasies of being the strongest under the heavens. He remembered the sheer joy of releasing his inhibitions, the thrill coursing through his veins. But then, it happened—the man pulled the trigger, shattering his illusions and exposing the harsh reality before him. Fear gripped his every fiber as he stood frozen, unable to take a single step. In that moment, despair washed over him, an unfamiliar emotion that seeped into his very being. For the first time, he truly understood the depths of the fear of life itself. And then he saw the fall of a hero… his hero… his grandfather… because of his arrogance… because of his foolishness… because of him…, he finally felt the weight of his arrogance and foolishness. It was because of him that he had lost someone dear. Time seemed to come to a standstill as his heart shattered, the pain searing through his chest like a vise squeezing his heart. A single tear escaped his eye before darkness enveloped him, and he slipped into unconsciousness.

When he regained consciousness, Kelly found himself alone in a sterile hospital bed. It was revealed that the immense stress had caused him to lose consciousness. Overwhelmed by emotions, he couldn't hold back the floodgates of his sorrow.

He wailed uncontrollably, like a vulnerable child, in front of his family. His mother, who should have been grieving herself, stood by his side, offering comfort. In an unprecedented act, his father pulled him into a heartfelt embrace, desperately trying to soothe his pain. His younger brother and stepmother joined in, enveloping him in their arms, offering their support for days on end.

But despite their unwavering love, the void in his heart continued to expand, and the weight of guilt grew heavier with each passing day. Following the psychological sessions organized by his family, Kelly began to distance himself from them. Their sympathetic gazes pierced his already burdened conscience, exacerbating his feelings of guilt.

Finally, Driven to his breaking point, Kelly reached out to his parents and pleaded with them to reclaim their own lives. He knew it was an unreasonable request, but he felt desperate for some semblance of normalcy. In a moment of desperation, he even resorted to threatening them with thoughts of suicide—a twisted attempt at gaining control over his own life. To his surprise, his words struck a chord, and his parents acquiesced, albeit with conditions.

They agreed to give him the space he craved, but only for two years until he finished high school. During this time, Kelly would be required to attend regular sessions with a psychologist to address his emotional well-being. A caretaker would be assigned to ensure his safety and provide support. Though it was far from an ideal solution, it offered Kelly a glimmer of hope—a chance to rebuild himself and find his own path forward.

Now, in this moment of solitude, Kelly confronted the truth of his own shortcomings as a son. The weight of his anger towards himself grew heavier with each passing day, fueling a sense of despair. Overwhelmed by his emotions, he couldn't contain them any longer. He cried out, unleashing a torrent of tears and screams. With every ounce of his being, he faced the full force of his fear, guilt, anger, and all the negative emotions that had consumed him.

In this cathartic release, something shifted within him. As the tears streamed down his face, he found a glimmer of acceptance. He acknowledged and embraced the depths of his emotions, refusing to push them aside any longer. It was a pivotal moment of self-awareness, a turning point where he began to reckon with his past and the person he had become.

Through this raw display of vulnerability, Kelly took the first step on a journey of self-forgiveness and healing. It was a daunting path, but he was finally ready to confront his own demons and strive towards a brighter, more hopeful future.

After what felt like an eternity, Kelly slowly opened his eyes, and a glimmer of something unfamiliar shone within them. For the first time in a long while, his gaze carried a spark of hope, a flicker of light that illuminated the darkness that had consumed him. He was well aware that he didn't deserve this newfound sense of hope, but he understood that he had to embrace it.

His parents, his family, they deserved to see him rise above his inner turmoil and live a better life. Although it seemed like a deranged delusion, deep down, Kelly believed that his grandfather would want the same for him, Kelly believed he have to survive for his family, but he also believed he had to suffer his whole life for repentance. In that moment, he made a silent vow to honor his grandfather's memory by unlocking a side of himself that he had long kept hidden away.

Little did most people who interacted with him know, and even Kelly himself remained unaware for a long time, but there were whispers of sociopathic tendencies within him. It wasn't to say that he was a full-fledged sociopath, but rather that he exhibited certain tendencies. His parents and his grandfather, who had witnessed his growth, were well aware of this aspect of his character.

Kelly had been grappling with these tendencies, trying to come to terms with them, when that fateful incident occurred, causing him to bury them deep within himself. However, in order to survive the challenges, he faced, he found himself compelled to unleash this side of him once again. Though he still harbored reservations and battled inner conflict, he recognized that embracing this aspect of himself was necessary for his survival.

With the rays of the sun casting a renewed light upon him, a transformation took place within Kelly Kamimura. The new Kelly, with his sociopathic tendencies on display, awakened to a new understanding of himself.