Chapter 21: History.

Monday.

Day 20.

George.

Issa leaves me alone in the dark lit room feeling a hundred different emotions. But clouding every single one was pain.

I was still totally hammered and couldn't think or even walk straight. But my mind still knew I had absolutely fucked things up with Issa. Again.

I stood there in just my boxers, unsure of what to do now. Issa had said she was going to go see Cam. She sounded completely serious, but there's no way she would. I just had to keep telling myself that or I'd definitely lose it. Even if I knew it was the biggest lie I'd ever tell myself. How could she resist Cam? Even I couldn't do it. I rolled my eyes at myself, feeling pathetic, then get an idea.

Quickly I scramble for my jeans and search for my phone. I find it and fumble to text Cam, trying not to overthink it;

Me: 'Issa is coming to your room. I fucked up.'

I sent the text to Cam, amazed at how normal it looked, no typos. The tears in my eyes and the haziness from the alcohol were not a good combo, yet I somehow managed to do it.

I jump at the text sound from my phone from Cam.

Cam: 'what? I'm not even in my room.'

I breathe out a sigh. Hopefully he was somewhere far away and Issa wouldn't even get to see him tonight anyway.

I then form another idea. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad one, but I needed to do something, anything. I needed to go find Issa again and apologize, whether or not she'd accept it or not. It didn't matter, I just needed to do it.

I take a sip of the drink Issa had handed me and fumble to put my pants back on. I then remembered Issa had taken my shirt. I straighten up and groan, slightly annoyed now. Guess no shirt it is.

I take one more chug for confidence then headed out the door, feeling exposed. As soon as I'm out, I was immediately crowded by way too many drunk college kids. I'm finding my way through people dancing and was about to walk up the stairs when a hand tugs at mine.

I turn around and see Lectra looking at me, clearly concerned.

"Wanna explain why Issa just told me she was going to, and I quote, 'bang Cam'?" Lectra didn't sound quite as drunk as she looked, but managed to get the words out successfully anyway. I then realize what she had just said and my heart stops.

I guess that proved my theory right. Cam was hard to resist and Issa had definitely went to find him. I wipe away my tears still surrounding my eyes, then chuckle, although I didn't find this even a lick funny.

"Well, that's probably because I told her to." Lectra doesn't laugh along with me, she simply looked confused. A tear falls from my face as I blink back at her. She sees it fall then asks, more concerned this time;

"Then why are you crying?" I take a deep breath and wait for Lectra to slap me or something for what I was about to say.

"Because I cheated on her-" I pause, not wanting to say who with, then I gain the courage and add quickly; 

"-with him. Cam." All she can do is throw her hands over her mouth with a loud 'oh my god'. Then she adds;

"Wow. That lasted long. I had high hopes for you two too." She goes from kind of joking to serious within seconds, then starts;

"You should still try talking to her though. I have a feeling she'll come around." I didn't know what it was that made her think that, but I took it. It gave me the largest burst of adrenaline I could've ever asked for at that moment, making me say excitedly back;

"Okay. Thank you Lectra!"

It didn't even really bother me that I had just accidentally called her 'Lectra', which nobody else here called her, only the people at the school. I didn't really care, and I figured she would probably be too drunk to care too. I was turned around walking up the stairs so fast, Lectra didn't have time to say a goodbye or anything about her name.

The stairs felt like such a workout. I was stumbling up them, trying so hard not to fall back down them. I finally make it up and knew I definitely needed to catch my breath before I went any further. I sat at the start of the stairs lying on the floor, breathing harder than I ever have. I get the strength to stand finally then look down the hallway at Cam's room, only to see Issa standing in the doorway.

Her back was facing me and she seemed to be talking to someone. I wasn't an absolute idiot, I knew that someone was Cam. My guess was confirmed when I saw Cam slowly walk up to her from inside his room, only a couple feet away from her.

She didn't move away as he walked closer to her, she simply stood there. I could hear them faintly talking. All I wanted to do was shout, move, do something to stop them, but it wouldn't happen. I was absolutely frozen.

The first thing I hear is Issa. I could barely make out her asking if Cam liked her. A lump forms in my throat now. She was really going along with it.

Next was Cam's turn to talk. It was something about him asking if there was an issue with it. I could only sit there and watch impatiently, when Issa finally slowly nodded a no to him. My heart instantly sunk back down into my chest. Then the last thing I hear is Cam telling Issa to close the door, to which she immediately does.

When I finally see her face after she turns around, she doesn't seem like herself. I've never seen this side of Issa. She was always so assertive when it came to me. With Cam, she acted as if she were hypnotized by his presence. And who could blame her?

Issa closed the door softly, then I can, just barely, hear a locking sound. I couldn't believe she would actually do it. I kept saying there was no way she could resist, but I thought Issa would be different. I wasn't sure if I had the right to be upset though, I had in fact told her to do it, after I confessed I cheated. Again. Shit.

I let a singular tear fall from my face. It's all I have left in me. I find myself smiling, with no sign of humor in it. The only emotion I was feeling right now was hatred. I hated myself for starting this whole mess again.

I look downstairs and hear music and people cheering. It doesn't excite me, it just makes me feel more sick to my stomach. All I can think of doing is crawling into bed the rest of the night.

So that's exactly what I'd do. I make my way into my room, just painfully next door to Cam's, then I lay in bed. I take off Cam's pants he let me borrow and lay there with just my boxers, feeling strangely numb.

It's already super late at night, but I'm in no way tired. I'm just staring up at my ceiling, watching the colors change from my lava lamp. I force myself not to occociate it with Issa.

But it was no use, all I could think of is her. Our moment we had that first night together here flashes into my mind. The lights overhead flicker a dark blue, my favorite color, the color I picked out for her that night. I remember distinctly how beautiful she looked in the lighting. Even though I was really just watching Issa and paying zero attention to the lights, I knew it was amazing anyway. 

She was amazing. 

I close my eyes, trying to avoid seeing the scene again. The flashing still shined through my eyelids ever so slightly in my room. It didn't matter, I kept my eyes shut and just tried to drown it out by listening to the sounds around me.

The sounds of faint music from downstairs and people shouting were barely audible. All it did was irritate me the more I listened to them having fun. I shake my head vigorously, trying to get the noises away. I decide to try and turn my attention elsewhere. The next sound I can hear is my computer running beside my desk. This time I could just barely stand hearing the sounds. I finally settle down and feel my eyes getting heavier now as I listened.

That only lasts a minute when I quickly stop listening to everything around me the second I hear something like a moan come from Cam's room. My eyes snap open and I sit up from my bed. I stayed deathly quiet to hear it again.

And again it came, only this time louder. I didn't want it to be true, but it had to be her. Issa and Cam in his room doing exactly what I told her to do. I lay myself back down and cover my face with my pillow, attempting to block out the two.

It didn't help, I could still hear them. I didn't want to hear it, but then why was I picturing everything happening? It was involuntary, I couldn't help it, it was all I could hear now. I could simply only imagine what was happening with the both of them.

I annoyingly pictured Issa there lying on his bed, helpless as Cam stood over her. I wanted it to stop but it was no use. There were more noises just then, only leading to more excruciating images and thoughts.

I knew Cam would be dominant over her, better than I ever could have. And I knew he would give her exactly what she wanted that I couldn't give her. I wanted to be there too. It didn't matter what I was doing, as long as I was there too. 

No.

"No." I repeated the word aloud this time as I removed the pillow from my face. I could tell myself no as much as I wanted, but the pressure forming said I felt otherwise. 

My emotions were once again flooding all over the place, just as I did downstairs. One second I was feeling pleasure hearing them, then another all I wanted to do was kick down Cams door and punch him.

I pulled out my phone and opened Cam's contact. I didn't think, I just started typing;

Me: 'Mind screwing my girlfriend a little quieter?'

I imagine Cam reading it later and simply laughing that cocky sound. I knew he wouldn't read it right now, he was preoccupied. So it was to my astonishment when he did reply;

Cam: 'oh, I haven't even gotten there yet.'

Below the text, Cam sent a picture attachment. I dared to open it, I could already guess what I'd find in it. I knew this, yet I opened it anyway.

There, on my phone screen was a lewd picture of Issa on her stomach, ass out, her hands intertwined up above her head right on Cam's bed. I couldn't feel anything but pleasure form in my stomach.

I hesitantly text back;

Me: 'does she even know you took that??' 

I get an answer the next second saying;

Cam: 'Gtg, she's asking for me. Begging, actually.'

I had no idea why Cam was acting like this. He had never been like this to me once in my life. More importantly, Issa would never forgive this. Cam's good guy image would be ruined to her after. If I even had the balls to tell her, that is.

Was Cam really as bad as I was though? I had cheated on her not only once, but twice. Plus, I was enjoying what was going on with them. How good can I be to feel pleasure from it? The more I thought about everything, the more the feeling of chunks forming came up.

I ignore what I was feeling in my boxers and throw the pillow back on my face again. I close my eyes shut hard and just breathe. I begin humming to drown out the sound of now, even lewder sounds.

•••

After what felt like hours, I must have been starting to feel the effects of the alcohol once more, since I began to feel dizzy again. The sounds had finally died down and I was surprised I actually felt tired.

I didn't know how to feel about either of them. I couldn't hate them no matter how much I wanted to, so I settled on hating me. I deserved it.

At some point the realization that I had actually told Issa I loved her sunk in, and all I wanted was to jump into a damn volcano. I didn't know if I meant it, but I said it anyway. It wasn't even just that I said it too early on in our relationship, it was that I said it when we were about to sleep together. I had royally screwed up.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the two of them out of my head until I finally felt myself falling into a deep sleep state. The dizziness I was so used to was the last thing I felt when I managed to pass out at last.

•••

Day: ?

Oh god, what day was it?

It felt as if I had been asleep for years. I wake with the pillow still over my head, groaning in pain. I push it down against my face more and take in the darkness. I then stretch my feet out from my blanket and kick someone at the foot of my bed.

I sit up as fast as I can and throw the pillow down on my lap. I look straight up into Cam's face sitting at the foot of my bed. He had a new bruise on his face now. I don't bother asking, because I frankly don't care at the moment. It was probably some kinky crap with Issa after last night. 

I was uninterested, to say the least.

He looked at me like he's worried, like he wasn't even a little mad anymore. Just concerned for me. Then he finally decides to smirk as he sees I'm fully awake now.

"I'm glad you're awake." I stay looking at him, unsure if I was being tricked right now. I wasn't even sure why he was sitting on my bed with me, so close. I simply studied him, waiting for an apology for yesterday. For everything that went down with Issa, like I would actually he able to forgive him for it.

"After passing out yesterday, I was really worried about you." I was rubbing my eyes, as I ask him, slightly irritated;

"Passing out? Who passed out?" He tilts his head with a side smile then stops and looks concerned again.

"You? You passed out George. Do you not remember that?"

"How would you know that? I wasn't even with you." I feel around my bed for my phone, feeling remarkably well suddenly, no hangover at all from last night.

"George." Cam places a hand along mine causing me to flinch. Why was he touching me? This guy was playing with my emotions and I had about had it.

Cam continues holding my hand as he adds faintly;

"You passed out last night when you were in my office with me. After you and Issa called it quits." Oh crap. His office? As soon as those words leave his lips, I was standing up from my bed, and heading to my door.

I open it and see the many rooms straight from my hell. My knees immediately give out and I fall to the floor dramatically. Why the hell was I at the school again? In a flash, Cam was beside me, patting my back soothingly.

"I don't expect you to remember, but please try. I need to know you're okay George." I look up into Cams worried eyes, terrified. I pull him into a hug and don't hold back from crying every last drop of tears I had in me. I had no idea what else to do then, all I could think was to cry and hug Cam.

He hugs me back then smooths over my back saying 'there there' countless times until I finally take a deep breath in and sit up straight. I look around my room quickly. So no time had passed since I the last time I was here, besides the rest of the night? Just like when I came back to my normal life too.

I didn't know what the hell was happening, but it felt like a regular type of thing at this point, so I told myself I should just get used to it-again. Yeah, right, just get used to it. I could almost manage a laugh at that.

"I'm fine. I remember." Cam smiles and hugs me again. I feel my stomach squeeze as he does. This Cam actually had feelings for me back, unlike the other. I hug him back just as tight, feeling a small ting of joy. It doesn't last long.

"Wanna get some breakfast?" Cam stands then pulls me up with him. I nod and we exit my room. As soon as we step into the hallway, my heart drops.

I knew we were at the school, but seeing everything again after thinking it was finally over felt like a giant punch in the face. I would have much rather preferred the real thing.

As we walk down the hallway to the cafeteria, Cam surprises me by grabbing my hand and holding it. He looks down at me and asks;

"Is-this okay?" I smile like a kid in a candy store and nod my head yes. Then I thought about Issa again. What if she saw us? I know I shouldn't care, she made it very clear we weren't together anymore the last time I was here, but it still felt-wrong. I mean, we did technically just break up last night here.

The thought that I messed up both of my chances with Issa in the school and my normal life absolutely haunted me. What was wrong with me?

"What if people think that makes you look vulnerable? I don't want you to get hurt, again." I think back to the last time I was here. I look up at him and study his bruised face, which now made sense on him. Cam had gotten beaten up pretty badly by the Boss, I didn't want that to happen again just because of me. He shrugs like he didn't care then states;

"Oh well. Fuck em'." Cam stares down at me confidently, making my heart throb from his words. I smile wider and continue holding onto Cam's hand as we walk into the lunch room, not caring who'd see.

I am immediately surrounded by smells of breakfast foods as we enter the room. There are sounds of people around us talking, then they see Cam and quickly quiet down. I squeeze his hand, knowing he hated that people were afraid of him. I wished then, so badly, that they knew the real story, but knew that ultimately couldn't happen.

We ignore them and headed right for the food. They were serving the most basic breakfast foods, but I wasn't complaining. Bacon, pancakes and little cartons of orange juice were everywhere. I tried my best not to think about how these pancakes and bacon would probably never compare to the way Issa made them as I grab my food with Cam.

Avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone, we finally sit down at a table. I was quick to shove the pancakes down my throat, not realizing until then how really very hungry I was. And how right I was about the taste of the food not even a little bit comparing to Issa's. I then find myself looking around the cafeteria for Issa, or even Lectra.

I don't see either of them, but I do find Wes. He was sitting alone, so I assumed he was waiting for the girls. I seize the moment and get up from the table. I look to Cam and say;

"I'll be right back." I hesitate, but I lean down and kiss him on the forehead. The only really good thing about this place was being able to have Cam to myself again. His cheeks beam as I go over to Wes' table. I stride up to him maybe a little too confidently then say;

"Hey bud." He chokes on his orange juice as I speak to him, then he gets a grip and states sternly;

"Um, not your bud-What do you want?" I ignore his statement and ask;

"Heard anything from Issa?" He chortles then says, unamused by my presence;

"No, but me and Lectra heard you two through the walls yesterday. I don't think she'll be very happy to see you here-" Wes stops then glances behind me and a huge grin applies on his face.

"Speaking of, here she comes." I don't bother turning around just yet. I stand my ground then add, only semi-confidently now;

"I'm staying right here."

"It's your funeral." I roll my eyes at him then turn to see Issa and Lectra walking to get food. Lectra was patting Issa's back as she got her things.

Issa looked like she had been crying all night. Her hair was a mess and her makeup was definitely smudged. She even still had slippers on. I messed her up real good. I sure was an asshole.

Wes must have also been watching her too because he groans saying;

"Man. You are a real asshole." He takes a piece of my bacon and eats it but I just ignore him, knowing he had just read my mind and was extremely right.

My eyes are on Issa like a hawk, watching her every move as her and Lectra search the cafeteria for Wes. He slowly waves them over with an angry look thrown at me afterward.

From across the room, I hear Lectra shout a 'what' loud enough to make a couple heads turn toward her. She shushes them away and I turn to Issa, who clearly also sees me.

All she does is exhale and put a palm to her forehead to rub it. Lectra says something but Issa quickly retorts and they start walking over, both looking angry.

I think about what I was going to say to Issa and realize, I have no idea what I'm even going to say at all. Instantaneously, I begin to panic. Wes seems to notice and says;

"Oh bud. I would be scared too." I put my palms around my eyes and think. I didn't know what else to say besides apologizing again. Maybe I could try to get her back. I just had to try. Without another second thought, I decided, I was going to try to get her back again no matter how hard it would be.

It felt like forever, but Lectra and Issa finally made it to the table. I look over at Cam and see he is staring at me with big disbelieving eyes. He throws his arms up signaling a clear 'wtf' but I turn back to Issa, ignoring him.

"Hey-" I try and talk to Issa but Lectra quickly butts in;

"I think when someone says to leave them alone, that this-isn't how you do it." She gestures to me sitting at their table. I turn to her, feeling a little irritated.

"Lectra. I know what she said. Just let me-" I pause and calm myself;

"-Let me talk." As if I just pressed her off button, Lectra sits back and shoves some food in her face, still looking as annoyed as ever.

I turn to look at Issa, who is now also eating. I see a scratch on her face and am reminded how she even got it. Cam. Crap.

"Issa. Hi." She just smiles, not looking even remotely amused, still staring down her food. Finally she whips her head around at me and mocks me;

"'Hi', he says. That's funny-" Issa stop and turns to Lectra laughing, mocking me further before finally turning back to me and adding;

"-You're funny George." I can only sit there and stare. She stares back and helps;

"Oh but please, keep trying." Lectra beside her looks all too amused. Wes is looking at her like she's a brand new person, and honestly, I was with him. She was acting more confident and driven than usual. She seemed like it, but behind it, I could tell she was still in pain. All because of me. 

And I had caused that twice for her in my two different lives.

"Issa. I'm trying here. I made a mistake-" Twice, I think to myself but hold it back knowing I'd get indefinite confusion from all three then add;

"-But I'm not going to stop trying to make it better." Her facial expressions don't change whatsoever. The hatred in them just stays exactly the same as she looks into my eyes, not saying another word.

Beginning to feel defeated, I get up to leave. Before I do, I turn and add one last time;

"I'm so sorry." A small glimpse of a change happens in her face, but barely. As I turn to leave, Wes announces;

"Tell your boyfriend he's a dick as well. You two could've waited at least a week to start holding hands in public, ya know?" Lectra gasps under her breath then Issa looks over to Wes and questions;

"Boyfriend?" Wes gestures over to Cam across the room. Issa sees him and her face goes pale. She's looking at him a little too long until she eventually clears her throat then looks back at me and dryly states;

"That's real nice. You can leave now." She goes back to her food and starts poking it with her fork, looking unphased again. I think about saying something to sooth her, but nothing feels right to say, so I simply turn and leave.

I make my way over to Cam, who looked totally flabbergasted. This time as I approached him, I couldn't help but remember how he had totally betrayed me in my other life by sleeping with Issa. I feel myself getting pissed at him thinking about it, then I take a deep breath in and sit down next to him. 

This wasn't the same Cam. I just needed to remember that. I sit next to him and his face only gets more confused as he asks;

"Question; What the hell George?"

"You know how I feel about her. I'm trying to make it work. Like you said." He rolls his eyes at me and looks over at Issa. After a minute of studying her he sighs.

"Look. I know I said that I understood why you liked her, but like, maybe I was just in a weird place." I blink up at him, lost.

"What-what do you mean?"

"I mean, George, c'mon. I tried, but I only like you. Not her." Oh, how nice. School version of Cam likes me but not Issa. Real world Cam likes her, not me. Maybe I couldn't have Issa no matter what. It was always going to be just Cam for one of us.

I didn't want that though, I wanted them both. I shook my head at him and state boldly;

"Yeah well, I like her too Cam. So it's either us both, or nothing." Cam stares at me like I just slapped him. He says nothing, all he does is abruptly stand up from the table and trudge away, out of the room.

I watch him storm out of the room as I mutter to myself;

"Nice job." I push my food out of the way, feeling angry with myself yet again. I look over and see Lectra and Wes both laughing at me. Issa was simply staring off in the distance, obviously zoned out. I let my head fall from my hands and it hits the table with a thud.

A headache forms instantly after my head collides with the table, but the pain helped. I sit back up and decide I should follow Cam. I get up and chug my orange juice, then make my way to Cam's office, not knowing what the hell I was doing back at the school again.

•••

Day: ?

*Issa*

I expected to wake up next to Cam, or better yet, in his arms. Instead I'm in an oddly familiar room. I get up slowly to turn the lights on and almost trip. As I'm walking over to the light switch, I notice my head is pounding and I just assume it's from all the alcohol I had at my party.

I finally turn the lights on and I look around carefully at the room I had once grown to be used to. It was pretty much the same room, but I could still differentiate the area easily.

I was back inside my dream world.

I don't know why I'm not as shocked as I know I should be. Maybe it was because I knew history had been repeating itself the day prior. I.E; George had cheated on me by kissing Cam again. That was what went down the last time I was here, so it made sense, but also didn't at all.

If I was coming off as calm though, you'd be dead wrong. As soon as it settled in longer where I was, I ran over to the sink in my room and threw up.

It felt like it wasn't ever going to end until I heard the knock at my door. I hastily get up away from the sink and open my door. Lectra is standing there with a couple of pills.

"Thought you'd probably like a few of these after last night." She hands them to me so I put then inside my pocket for later. I could feel the tears falling from my face from throwing up, and I knew Lectra definitely saw them, but she didn't say anything. I was thankful for it.

"I'm guessing you heard then?" She just nods. It still hurt, even after the second time that George cheated on me. But I was almost getting used to it at this point. Just like I was getting used to waking up back here at the school. 

What sucked the most was that I still cared for George, like an absolute idiot.

My emotions come flooding in thinking about everything happening to me, and I hastily throw myself into Lectra arms. She hugs me and smooths her fingers through my tangled hair. We stay like that for a while until I hear her giggle as she continues untangling my hair with a long slender finger.

"You're just trying to comb my hair for me, aren't you?" I feel her nod into my neck then laugh some more. I pull off and run over to my mirror, ready to see a swamp beast staring back at me in it.

And I would be right. My-everything-was a beautiful disaster. My hair had tangles pretty much everywhere and my mascara had run down my cheeks making me look like I had just come back from a Taylor Swift music video about breakups. I see the scratch on my face and gasp, forgetting it was even there.

"You know what-I'm going to keep it just like this." Lectra looks at me like I was actually Taylor Swift and runs over to hug me again.

"Atta girl. Let's go get some breaky!" She patts my head again then pulls back, staring hard at me, then slowly pleads;

"Maybe just comb this-a little bit?" I laugh then grab my brush and do my best at taming the monster in my hair. I give Lectra my 'I give up' look and we head out the door.

•••

We get into the amazing smelling room full of people and I already start to feel better. As long as I didn't see George I would be just dandy. And I knew all too well of course that I would see him, so I avoided looking around.

I grab my food as Lectra tries to make me feel better again by patting me. I just smile to myself, knowing I was fine right now. She stops and grabs her own food now as I sit and wait.

"Okay. Now where is-" Lectra looks up from her tray to see Wes waving at her. Next to him is a guilty looking George. She sees him and belts her loudest 'what' that she could've done.

Some people stare at her so she waves a finger, shushing them and they go back to minding their own business. I was starting to think people might be more afraid of Lectra than the actual guards here. Next Lectra looks to me with animated eyes, readying herself to lunge at George's throat.

"I can totally handle this-" I shake my head and dismiss her, actually thinking she might actually hurt George, so I state;

"I got it. It's fine." I grab my tray and we start rushing toward our table. We arrive and nobody says a word. I don't even look at him as I approach the table. Finally I sit and George decides to speak up.

"Hey-" He can't even get another word out because now it was Lectras turn to talk;

"I think when someone says to leave them alone, that this-isn't how you do it." Catching both me and Lectra off guard, he tears his head to look at her to bark back;

"Lectra. I know what she said. Just let me-" As if he finally caught how he was sounding he stops and starts again;

"-Let me talk." Lectra backs away in her chair and starts eating. It was my first time seeing her look defeated in any situation. I look to her then back to George, who finally spoke again;

"Issa. Hi." I couldn't believe him. He had a chance to say anything he wanted, and all he thinks of is a 'hi'. I force a fake laugh then say sarcastically;

"'Hi', he says. That's funny. You're funny George." He only sits there looking oh so pathetic so I add more;

"Oh but please, keep trying." I can feel Lectra beside me failing to hide how proud of me she was. My face stays serious despite how pleased with myself I was.

Suddenly George speaks up again;

"Issa. I'm trying here. I made a mistake. But I'm not going to stop trying to make it better." His words made my heart ache, but there wasn't any way I was going to show that to him.

He wanted to fix us. It was obvious he was serious about it, but I didn't know if I should trust he wouldn't do it again. I mean he'd already done it twice, whether he knew that or not. It still happened.

He must notice that nothing he was saying was going to change my mind, especially right now, so he gets up and begins leaving. He takes a few steps but stops when Wes pipes up;

"Tell your boyfriend he's a dick as well. You two could've waited at least a week to start holding hands in public, ya know?"

"Boyfriend?" It's all I can think to say to Wes who was now pointing at Cam, who I hadn't realized was sitting alone at a table. I look over at Cam and feel my body go numb.

He looked so different here, but also the same exact way. But I knew he wasn't the same Cam that made me catch feelings for him so fast. The man I wanted to wake up in his arms this morning, but instead, I woke up here. No longer having him to myself.

This was the man that brought me here in the first place. Suddenly a surge of absolute resentment covered my whole body as I watched Cam. The last remaining bits of sadness washed away until I could barely feel it. I hated Cam and George, I had to.

"That's real nice. You can leave now." I forget George is even standing above me and begin eating my food again. A few seconds pass and I hear his footsteps getting lighter and lighter, letting me know he left.

"He doesn't give up." I sigh, relieved he was finally gone, then Lectra and Wes both look at me and start golf clapping.

"You have like-a personality disorder or something cause-you were a totally different person just now." Not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or not, I just shrug. 

I felt weirdly calm. It's the best I've felt in too long, but I knew I was probably just in shock. It takes me too long to notice now that both Wes and Lectra are still staring at me. I also hadn't realized I had been zoning out for apparently way too long.

Now they were looking at me like I was going crazy. I swiftly snap out of it and remember this version of them didn't know about this place being, I guess, my dream world. Afterall, I didn't even know the first time I was here either.

I didn't know how to tell them about it without it freaking them out, but I guess that probably wasn't possible. I remembered again, I didn't know how to do it the first time I told them as well. Then I figured it out. I just needed to do it the way I did the first time all over again. I've gotten to know them even more than I had here. I just have to tell them facts that they never told me here before.

Man, I sounded insane.

I knew I was risking them both thinking I was crazy, but it was better than them being in the shadows on everthing-or thinking I was insane from the way I've already been acting. Once again, history repeats itself by making me tell them about my shitshow of a life again. I blow out a heavy amount of air then get to explaining;

"I'm going to tell you two something- a little crazy." They both tilt their heads at me, readying themselves for whatever it was I had for them. I giggle, only a little nervous this time. 

This will be fun-again.