15.) The New Beginning

December 29, 1944

'Why Queen Lilith?' Edward was understandably confused at the thought he might have Gabriel again. "He isn't safe here." Communicating with Edward via telepathy was my only option, especially since it was important. 'What happened?' The thought of my son being fed on angered me again. I then said, "a vampire fed on him to the point of almost killing him." Edward's rage was apparent, all that work to get him here only for him to die. "She was dealt with." He paused for a moment, "No I didn't kill her." There was almost a sigh of relief almost as if it could be heard through telepathy. 'My Queen we can't afford a coup d'état not now.' I knew this but she could regrow an eye I couldn't get my son back if he died. "I know." I paused thinking about all of the hardships he went through and what he could go through. "That's why I need him with you."

'Are you sure?' I had to pause again, I never considered pushing him away again. "If Gabriel wasn't safe with me where would he be safe going?" I said to Edward, I was always open with him because he is one of my most trusted. 'Lilith?' I heard his voice, Gabriel woke up I really hope I didn't wake him even though I wasn't speaking. "Edward I'm going to have to talk to you later," I said via telepathy. 'Yes, my queen.'

I was sitting in the chair watching him for hours. The guest had been long gone and all I had in me was a sense of dread since he had been asleep. "Are you okay?" He looked around examining the room, he had never left my personal room. 'Fine.' His voice sounded pained but callous, he rubbed the part his neck that was bitten and realized the wound was gone. He would still be stiff there but the wound was gone. 'How long have I been asleep?' You have been asleep for a while it was already midday. "12 hours give or take." He sighed and said 'what are you going to do with me?' He felt like a prisoner here, he had a right to think like that.

A long silence passed us and it was time break it. "I'm letting you go," I said it calmly, it was no point in building up suspense anymore. His eyes widened but not in happiness it was caution. He was still afraid of me, the fact that I wasn't there to protect him made it even worse. He probably felt like livestock, he was fed on like livestock too. 'Why? So you can secretly watch me? Or is it to torment me again ?' All of that pain in him, he had nothing to lose and he had nothing to gain. Did I ruin my son's life? He had been hurt by me in so many ways and I had thrust so much on him.

It didn't have to be like this, had I just accepted Michael's answer I could have at least have my husband and my son. Why didn't I just accept the answer like the others? I am going to wipe your memories of me." The air shifted I had never thought I would say that, but this had to be done. "This world isn't meant for you and I don't want you to think that you have to live in it." This was a lot for him but I wanted him to know what I was going to do. 'Why would you even tell me?' It was simple I didn't want him to feel like I was playing with his life again.

I had not bothered changing out of my party clothes, it would only take an instant for me to do it. The only real change was the fact that my hair was no longer in a crown bun. The only thing I did in those 12 hours was watch my son sleep. I listened to his thoughts, he had doubts, questions, and angry. I realized he was not meant for my world, he was not safe in my world he was not safe at all. Even as a queen of vampires I couldn't protect one human, even though that human was my son. What I say sad excuse of a mother I am.

'I can't fight you on this because I agree with you.' Hearing him say it only made me feel even more heavy-hearted. I knew it was the truth but some part of me didn't want to hear the truth. He is a good man he deserves to live a good life he deserves to die in a peaceful fashion. He deserves to grow old and die, he deserves to be surrounded by other humans. I felt a burning sadness in my chest before I spoke again.

"Before I do this if it isn't too much to ask I want to hug you." He looked surprised, I wanted him to say yes I wanted him to see me as his mother just for a moment. He never saw me as a mother trying to protect him. All he saw me as was a person who is constantly interfering in his life, good or bad he wanted to be the master of his own fate. He then spoke again, 'Did you rip that vampire's eye out?' I didn't think he would remember that. Without hesitation, I answered. "Yes." His posture was almost always tense, he never allowed himself to feel at ease I only really saw him semi-relaxed when he wasn't fighting and even then those were rare sites. He then said, 'if that's what you want.'

I had fleeting happiness inside of me, he stood up and walked towards me. Michael our son will make a fine husband. He was towering over me he opened his arms up and then he hugged me. I felt all of his warmth in that hug, and he did it so tightly it made me enjoy it and savor the moment. He didn't give me a hug haphazardly, he actually held me. Like a son would hold his mother. It wasn't like Lucia's or Fù-guān's where they were cold it had felt like a warm blanket had been placed over me when he hugged me. He was kind of hairy he had gotten that from his father but God did it feel good. It brought back so many memories with Michael. I didn't want to go into his mind because I didn't want to ruin the hug for myself. He then released and said 'I'm ready.' I looked into his eyes and said, "it'll be quick..."

~~~Gabriel

It had been a few months since I had been back at war especially since I finally woke up from being unconscious. I don't know how that wasn't enough to get me to sent back to the states but there was nothing I can do about it. I was still in Europe and the war here was almost over. We had discovered some of the most horrific things here. The locals called them 'Konzentrationslager' I later realized that German for concentration camps. I never knew of the horrors I would see in there, emaciated bodies piled in mass graves, we had only discovered one but I knew it could be worse I was lucky that I might get transferred to reinforce the troops in Japan or in the Philippines.

It was January and the holidays and come and gone, but it was still cold as the cadavers that lined the battlefields. I had ended up reuniting with Tim from D-Day he wasn't as much of a racist cunt as before. I guess he began to realize we all bleed red when the bullets tear us apart. We have pretty much-become brothers in arms, every battle we fought together we even passed jokes every once in a while. 'You would think the krauts would give up.' Aaron said that in a semi-sarcastic tone, to which I only could say "Then your ass wouldn't have anything to shoot." He laughed and started pissing, "So why are we out here?" I was sitting in a nearby tank.

'Word is after this battle we getting transferred.' My eyebrow raised " Oh really?" He zipped his fly and turned around. 'Yeah, the brass thinks we are better off being moved to other fronts that are struggling.' We had rarely been moving out unless necessary but this change was needed. 'Try to keep this next bit of information to ya self.' He turned to me I had been sitting down on debris and said 'we may be working on a final solution if Germany doesn't fall by some stroke of luck.'

"Final solution?" My eyebrow raised. "what the hell is that?" He checked his gun sights something that he does a lot. 'I don't know.' I stood up and looked around the base, I couldn't help but to wait for this war to be over, especially since I was beginning to miss the U.S. 'It's time to go to the next mission briefing.' He was right and I began to him follow him back into the heart of our base. We had tents set up all over the place. Soldiers are piled in them to stay out of the freezing weather but it was only a few degrees warmer. I always slept in my gear and barely had time to get comfortable. I can't help but notice that I always dream about that same person. Fiery red hair with pale skin, her golden eyes piercing right into my soul. Who is she? I can never make out her face in those dreams or that black stag with white horns.

'Aargh.' I heard a loud scream someone was probably wounded. I walked over to the screaming I don't know what possessed me to do it. I looked and I saw it a young soldier bleeding from his many wounds, the viscera staining the ground as they carried him. His largest wound was the fact that he was missing his left leg, he had also been a number of smaller wounds. He was either hit by a grenade or a landmine. The medics were trying to ease his pain but to no avail. He didn't have long left, he was quiet now. The only thing we could do is watch. I looked around for his team, they were all banged up. Everyone was covered in wounds but nothing too serious. The more disturbing part was the fact that everyone was calm. All of the men had empty faces, we knew he didn't have long.

'Make it stop, please...make it stop.' His screaming echoing throughout the camp, there was some chatter here and there were other men dying here. I only noticed his because it sounded familiar. I looked at the young man again and I realized I had never seen his face before, his voice was all too unfamiliar. I don't know who he reminded me of, it was a feeling of deja vu. I don't remember meeting any blond kid with freckles, he looked at me as if he knew me and then he began to reach out. It was only when I was moving closer that I realized he wanted someone to hold him. Maybe he was crying out for his mother, but I wasn't anyone important.

I don't know why I came but I came anyway. The medics were looking down they knew they could do nothing for the boy. I knew what had to be done, he wanted to go peacefully not yelling in pain not screaming for someone to put him down. I grabbed his hand, and believe it or not almost no one tried to stop me I heard one protest but then someone quickly shut him up. I held his blood-stained hand while he cried in pain.

We were all in this war, and we somehow forgot to be human to one another. He squeezed my hand tightly the medics shot him up with some morphine. When people were in that kind of pain no matter how much morphine you put in them they would still feel it. I knew they were trying to ease his pain so they gave him more. It was too much. I don't know how I knew. I felt his grip going away as he looked to the sky that cold gray European sky and passed on. His body now completely lifeless, the crowd had dispersed. They knew he wasn't going to make it, and I'm sure they had experienced plenty of moments watching someone they know die. They probably experienced it too many times.

I felt a hand on my shoulder as some spoke, 'It's over now.' I turned. One of the medics that brought him in. I looked at him and I realized I was holding a dead man's hand. 'Thank you.' the medic said kindly and in a sad voice. 'He was unliked by his squad.' Without any more words, they carried the body away.

I turned and began to make my way to the briefing, our platoon captain stood almost 6 ft 5. He looked intimidating but it was actually a pretty swell guy. 'Good news Roberts you're going to be transferred to Japan.' I had thought I was going to go on another mission before that. I realized if I am being transferred this soon then there was something wrong. The japs may be putting up a bigger fight than I thought. His narrow eyes scanned the well-lit tent, I had no idea I would be moving out so quickly. It seems like this tent was filled with transfers.

~~~Lilith

It had been months since I sent him back. I had pulled some strings to send him to Japan, and yet I feel like interfering in his life was robbing him of his free will. I knew Japan would be dangerous even more dangerous than Germany, but I also knew that Edward in Jason would be there. They would protect him with or without me saying anything about it. My only problem is how many vampires participated in the war? How many other than my own people. All vampires knew I was in charge they knew I was the queen. That didn't stop some from breaking off into factions. Vampires can be patriotic no matter how old they get. For a time I was against it but then I realized it was good to have multiple perspectives among certain subjects. There are only 3 factions including my kingdom but two of these factions have their own agendas.

How did my son play a part in all this? Or could it be that they were using one of my children against me? All of my children had latent potential; the problem was that it would take years for it to come out. Most vampires took years had no potential other than super strength, enhanced speed, and the ability to persuade people. Gabriel was still just human unless turned by me. I doubt he would be able to stand up to seasoned vampires. He has shown the skill to survive on his own but only because the vampires he fought were either new or liked to torment there prey.

That was strange though, all the vampires he fought had enjoyed tormenting their prey. I recognize those tendencies, could he be alive? Could he have truly survived that? Did he make that deal with Lucifer before he decided to confront me and attempt to take the throne? I killed him in the Bloody Valentine War. The only person who could be alive to carry on his work is Hans

'Mother how long are you going to be in your room?' Of course, Lucian had to interrupt my thoughts we had to leave and make our way the United States. It was he said something because I could spend days in deep thought attempting to solve a problem. I would have to solve this soon though, but it could wait till I got to the states. "I'm coming to Lucian." I sighed and continued. "You make it seem like you've never been there." He started to groan behind the door stating. 'That was during the revolutionary war I want to see how far the Americans have come.' I chuckled he did love to see history being made and he didn't mind participating in it either. "Okay give me ten minutes." His footsteps faded away.

I had my belongings packed and got ready for us to book a flight to visit Baltimore, Maryland I wanted to see his grave it would be the first time in a while. I had thought about him even more ever since I saw our son. I had hoped he could forgive me, our son was in danger because of me.

This long life of mine and none of my partners would share it with me. That must be one of many punishments by the angels to live eternally with no true love. I have never understood the way of the world as a human but I did know the way of the world as a vampire. I made my own way and I made a kingdom, but a queen will always need a king.

End of chapter: 14 The New Beginning.