Chapter—18 [Desideratum]

'Abandoned, Lost underneath the Darkness but You still grow up flawless'

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Her heels sauntered upstairs to the middle of the stage, approaching the large instrument. She pulled out the wooden bench wincing. A scraping sound echoed in the hall. Grazing her fingertips smoothly on the keyboard she stopped. The murmurs begin in the audience 

"Hey! Are you going to start or not!"Someone yelled 

"Maybe too scared " Someone taunted, their other suitors laughed at the remarks 

"Come on Nerd!" They shouted

"At least show us something!" That was it

Gingerly she exhaled keeping her mind weighed only on the instrument ignoring the all spokespeople 

'I trust you.' Ariana's voice hummed in her head, 'Make them know what the nerd is hiding.' 

This will probably be the last time but this is for 'Her'

She smiled as her fingers grasped the notes of Piano Sonata No. 14 by Sir Ludwig van Beethoven. The piece that throbbed her heart from its core to full of sorrow and anger. The melody that breaks and heals her soul

The hall went silent only the sips of music obstructed all the whispers, quieting the contemptuous laughter as she moved her hands playing upon the flat sorrowful lullabies. This was the peace that she feels with the choruses one and then another 

She closed her eyes, fingertips clanging the notes trailing down octaves before trickling backed up the higher spectrum while the music pours from it. The vibration of the symphony on the higher keys takes behold of all the arising shreds of her rooted memories:

Compliments and praise from the woman who is her teacher, the person who she admires most, the one who always trusts her more than anyone, her mother smiled. Her pleasant dark eyes Seyong could never forget how much they gleamed with pride to see her Dearest daughter playing.

"Very good Honey, " Her mother applauded softly. "come" she cooed extricating her arms

Seyong beamed as her heart melted to see the offering of affection, she bounced down from the bench toward her mother to launch her small form into the warmth curling up to settle on her lap 

"Did you see? Mama, I did it. I did it." she pitched revealing her deciduous teeth 

The woman chuckled, caressing her head. "Of course, You did, " She adored kissing softly on the glowing cheeks of her daughter.

"Tomorrow you will come to see me, right?" Seyong asked eyes sparked with anticipation, small fingers gripped the ham of her mother's dress fearing to let go 

"Of course My Little Yongbee " Her mother assured 

"Really?" 

"Yes, you're more important than any other event for me. Always remember Mommy loves you most no matter what anyone says." Her Mater's words imprinted on her heart as a smile occurred on her heart-shaped lips 'She loves Me most.'

She wrapped her delicate arms around her mother's waist stretching them as long as she could hold them tighter. "I trust You, Mama " she whispered sweetly 

Her mother caressed her crown head. "Good girl, "she acclaimed as her fingernails gently scratched her daughter's scalp .she blanketed her arm around her little girl's back to scoop her close 

Seyong closes her eyes leaning her head on the large palm, liking the dedicated caress from her mother. Her head rested into the crook of her Mater's neck, it is her haven. 

"Lilith!!"

The skin-shrinking tone of her father caused her to fly her eyes open, jerking from the call she looked up to see her calm, collected mother who was not bothered by it, there was no rage on her features, not yet.

Maybe sensing the quavering and discomfort of her daughter she gazed down to offer an insuring smile. "It's okay Daddy is calling 'cause he wants to talk. Mommy will be back soon ", she placed a kiss on her forehead. "How about you go play outside, and come when Mommy told you to." She advised 

Seyong being an obedient daughter nodded her head. "Okay." 

" Good, we will talk about your birthday gifts too, " Her mother voiced before rising from her armchair to rose outside the main hall 

Right, Tomorrow is her 10th birthday .she can't wait to celebrate it together, on her every birthday she has always received gifts that she never forgets, and this time she does wonder what her mother is planning even though she hasn't said anything about it, but as she always promised she will wait, her lips tugged up with the thought. "I would Like It." She said as she watched her mother leave, a mere feeling was telling her to 'follow' behind her mother but she shrugged it off. 

At the flowery garden where crimson red dahlias bloom beautifully, Seyong sits on her chair having a tea party with her other companions taking a sip of her imaginary tea and her toys 

"May I join Yong Ms?"

She heard Mr. Elijah's polite voice request, one of the head servants of Chao Residents in his forties.

"No." She huffed moving on to take another sip 

However, Mr. Elijah laughs and sits next to her on the grass ignoring the sulking face he received and the fact that he is not invited to the small get-together. "Thank You for your kindness, " he grinned 

She frowned but smiled when she saw how much he was troubled with the small cup holders. His large hands are trying to hold them carefully

"How can you do it? They are too small " He sniveled still wielding the small cup 

"You're too big," she scowled. Indeed he was, at least for her he is like a tower 

Mr. Elijah beamed when he finally hold the cup and took a sip of the imaginary tea, closing his eye he pretended to savor it. " Not Bad, but I can make it better, " he declared confidently 

That statement almost makes her feel offended no wonder why the Man loves to tease her 

"Well then go drink yours," she state, small hands attempting to reach and yank the cup back to her hold but languished when the tall man slowly stood up 

"Fine, then I will take this with me as well." He said poking his tongue out 

"No, you won't give that back!" whined Seyong trotting behind the man around the flowered garden 

"If you want to get it then. " Breathed the head servant before stumbling upon his feet and falling face to kiss the ground he grunted it didn't hurt much but the crackling laugh he received caused by his falling flat was delightful for his ears 

Placing both hands on her knees she puffed out. "See serves you right." 

Her remarks only received an eye roll as the man perched on the grass where She stood before him  

"Now give it to me, " Demanded the young girl with an authoritative tone not minding being respectful only wanting back something that belongs to her. 

"Fine, " He groaned handing the cup back to its holder who smiled in victory 

"We can make another one together, " She offered, motioning to the small teapots 

"Sure. " He agreed standing  straight from the grass and to allow her to hold his hand 

Both pairs retain their moments of playing and laughing until someone interrupts them 

"Mr. Elijah! Please help us! He is Furious." One of the maids came into their view, her voice unnerved inferring something is not okay.

Seyong watched Mr. Elijah rise to his feet and smiled at her not to show any distress which she nodded and returned. 

As he left Her alone she played for a few more minutes...hours, maybe.

The sun that was set in the west slowly slid down as evening obtained onto the Chao Residents. She may be a little too impatient in waiting for her mother couldn't take it anymore 

Biting her bottom lips she clutched the fabric of her skirt, eyeing the yard door tilted her head to see if anyone was coming outside. Her brows knitted the atmosphere of the house was awfully quiet. Something that usually does not happen

Shifting from her seat she leaps down, steps moving forward to the door. She was being careful, slow, Breath, Careful but the eardrum-bleeding meteoric sound caused her to flinch on the spot.

The sound was loud, it was pretentious enough to know that the noise was none other than the Piano her mother played in her music room 

Her faint slow careful steps turned into hastening ones. She runs to the piano room 

The door was wide open and she paced inside and saw the antique vase pieces shattered on the red velvety carpet. The vintage portraits thrashed down on the floor. Her breath shortened as her pulse climb up in fear stunned by the tarnished sights, She lifted her gaze to her mother's possession 

The next few milliseconds seemed to be the fastest moment of her life when her eyes registered the foremost movements of Her father gripping his iron golf stick, his eyes focused and feral looking at the piano dangerously with a cunning smile. the moment when she saw it her eyes grew vast in horror, mainly when he smile like this, she know what is coming 

'No! '

Before she could tell him to stop. He lifted off his golf stick and smashed the keyboard. Seyong whimpered it wasn't the piano he struck, it was her dream in it.

In three hits, she forgot how to breathe her knuckles turned white from the grip on her dress. When she thought it was over  he lifted his leg and kicked on the paddle."Dad!!!" A cry cracked out from her throat, yet he didn't seem to listen, simultaneously he let his rage on an instrument.

"Dad! Stop! " she wailed, blinking back the tears that wanted to escape. Spellbound her father by his rapture didn't tend about her cries at this moment, sensing he won't stop

She stepped forward with the shattered vase price prick into her foot and winced, dipping in her knees," Please d-dad...mom will be sad." She whimpered

Her eyes are  witnessing something that she could never erase why nobody is here to stop this, placing both of her hands over her ears to stifle the heartbreaking sound she lowered her head   "p-ple-please...B-beg y-y...you..." 

"Never in your life, Yong, don't Dare to think about Mother!" His voice shrieked into the room 

The disdaining tone makes Seyong look back at him "b-but...w-wh-why?" She choked 

He scoffed "She left you, me. Us! For someone else !" His nostril flared

Left...

'... Always remember Mommy loves you most no matter what anyone says.' Her mother's words it's can't be a lie

"s-s-she won't " Seyong whispered low shaking vigorously her head, "s-she pr-promised " she gasped to herself

' you're more important than any other event for me...'

She could hear the loud sound of her father's Oxford shoes as he stood next to her. "She lied. Stop crying and waiting for her to come home and tomorrow you will not perform that's my order " With that he departed never looking back 

In her room, she curled up on her knees into a tight little ball on the pulse-reading chair where her mother always sat. Her mother...her beautiful lovely mother 

Outside of the closed glass windows lighten strike somewhere heavy downpour streamed into the dark compelling her to jerk at the sound and shiver in the cold sometimes 

Infertile from the disaster that emerged in the piano room she slowly wrapped her arms around her shoulder just like her mother teaches her "It will always make you feel safe like Mommy holds you" she once told and Seyong followed 

Nevertheless this time this wasn't enough but she attempt to calm her nerves 

Breath in...

'She won't leave me '

Breath out...

'She would never!'

Breath in...

'Tomorrow she will come. '

Breath out...

'She has to!'.

'What if she never ?' 

'No! She promised' 

'She will keep her promise'

Beliefs inundated her empty mind. Her sights blurred. She squinted her eyes, She won't break. She won't cry, not now this is not the time to be weak. 

"Yong Ms?" Mr. Elijah called softly standing in front of her doorway

"Go away." She grumbled 

The man sighed, holding the plate of food carefully as he stepped beside her. "You need to eat." He spoke sitting on the footrest. Though The Yong Ms didn't spare a glance at him, he didn't bother to do anything about it either except stay silent listening to the faint whimpers of the little girl who is doing her best not to cry her heart out in front of him. 

"Elijah uncle?" Seyong uttered and gaze at the man who was looking outside the glass windows, "I want to perform tomorrow. Will you convince Dad?" She pleaded 

He couldn't say no to the request, cognizant that he is nothing but a servant of this family he promised. "I will do my best. Will you eat now please, " She nodded her head. Mr. Elijah smiled faintly and fed her holding the utensil.

It was bizarre the following night after eating half of her food she didn't blink an eye, middle of the night she keep her eyes at the door hoping her mother will come peeking at her door holding a cake just like her every other birthday and say 'it was all a nightmare Mommy never left' Though it never happens.

The next day her father did let her go to school maybe because Mr. Elijah convinced him perhaps Chao Masonjin was not that cruel Man of himself. 

Both of them entered the car and handed out a few invitation cards to Seyong so she could invite her friends on her birthday but she refused to take them. When he demanded the reason behind her disobedience she answered. " I don't want to celebrate the day of being abandoned".

The answer was truthful he didn't argue with that why would he 

Afterall she wasn't the only one who is left by her mother 

As Seyong vowed she gave her best in

performance with her hands warbling the Moonlight Sonata notes flowing them effortlessly over the keys interluding a mixture of high-dark and low-light notes, high with the possibility to see her mother within the audience beside her father and low with melancholy when the reality hits her 

The work of her music had a hypnic effect on everyone, no wonder she was the daughter of one the top most well-known famous pianists, Lilith Casanova. it was still confidential information unknown to everyone except her father who was looking at her with interest and irritation...

The way She was performing reminded him of his wife. At the young age of 10, she is like this. If he lets her continue this passion for music she will become like her mother. He won't let it happen, never. 

At the lattermost end of the function, Seyong didn't see her mother. Still, she insists to her father she wanted to wait for a few more minutes. It was enough to make him lose his rage. "Fine! Wait as long as you want, I'm leaving." He said gritting his teeth, again leaving her alone.

Seyong waited in the playground watching the other kids smiling with their parents, they looked perfect, they looked complete. 

Not like someone who left alone on their birthday 

"Here!'' A voice, cheerful sweet not older than 10 called, didn't respond to it, not until a slender pale wrist came into view She followed the length of a hand her eyes greeted by one of her classmates holding out a small box of wrapped chocolates, "Happy Birthday. " 

Uncertain of the welcoming nature of the chaotic Hwang who always caused trouble for her She looked around "Me?" She asked in confession and watched Hwang grin back 

"It's your birthday isn't it Seyong-ssi?" 

"Seyong-ssi?" 

"Yes! From today you have my respect ." Hwang answered making a gesture to salute her probably the 'respect' she gets because of her performance 

"Thank you", Seyong softly said Seyong fidgeting with her figures in her lap," are they for me?" She inquired about the small box of chocolates

Hwang nodded her head. "I-I thought you would like them" she muttered, "you helped me with my clean task yesterday and talked to the teachers by my side. I wanted to say thank you for that, " leading her free hand toward Seyong She smiled " I'm Hwang Lucy kindly accept my lifetime friendship " 

For a moment Seyong stared at her hands and then at Lucy. There was someone who wanted to be her friend. She gently grasped her hands. "It's fine Lucy-ya."She accepted the small box " Thank you for choosing me as your friend ." 

"So friends?" Hwang asked smiling sheepishly sitting beside her 

"Forever," Seyong vowed, giving the chocolate box to share a bite with her new friend who happily took it. 

That day Seyong may have almost gotten lost feeling abandoned without her mother's presence and her father's words but she was rewarded with the most beautiful treasure as her birthday gift Hwang Lucy's loyal friendship. 

An infanted hush silence was replaced by the clapping of the audience for less than a moment. Those students who once disparaged her for her stillness can't help but cheer as well receiving another warning glare from the lecturer. 

Seyong fluttered her eyes; she almost zoned out in her thoughts, twilling her gaze at everyone she admired.

Still, her eyes roamed to find a certain person, the person who was the reason behind her actions today, 

the person who caused her uneasy heartbeat, the person who made her dream things, that is blasphemous. 

Her eyes are greeted by Mrs. Catherine and Mr. Kelvin; they grin, allotting a pleasant look, and she smiles kindly at them. 

"Seyong-ssi!!" Before she could turn her attention to the side edge door a high-pitched call of her name came from none other than Lucy who jogged towards her pulling her into a hug, she smiled and stroked her back 

"I'm fine Lucy-ya" she ensures 

"Yeah, no shit about that. Don't you dare to do that again?" Lucy grumbled still squeezing her best friend into a bone-crushing hug she could feel Seyong's chuckle in response and a few intense stares but chose to ignore them cause this moment matters most. 

It felt like time brusquely slowed its speed for Ariana all the audible cheering dropped off only the thudding of her heart drummed in her ears, dimming every other individual her legs unhurriedly moved past the students, eyes purely fell over the two best friends or lovers whatever who were holding each other. 

'Fucking Hell Hwang just let go already!' 

The enthusiasm of holding the younger. Getting her back in her arms again grew to see them together, their embrace the half an hour of fondling her, soothing her. If Chao Seyong did something to her using her witchcraft in the library which provoked those emotions then hell this is not so bad.

' Seyong...' She ineffable her name in front of everyone only in her mind willful it won't ever go to the other person unless the younger can read minds.  

Though seems like it did 

Those optimistic dark eyes glimpse with devotion look at the fourth row passing way where Ariana was standing, their eyes  met a smile afforded by the younger followed by Lucy's scowled  face shooting daggers at her she ignore it since it was not new to her, and retains to see Seyong whose smile got widen a tint of roses flushed on her cheeks

The nerd was blushing 

For Her 

Beholding her unknowingly the corner of her lips perched up into a smile, first time Chao Seyong smiled at her that smile that Ariana wanted to see since she saw it in the library room the moment when Seyong was alone away from everyone and this time it was only for 'Her'.

it is 'Hers', she caused it.

"Psh! Babe?" Noah whispered to his boyfriend, "Are you seeing this? " he implored, looking back and forth between Seyong and Ariana who was smiling, smiling! Ariana Jane Wang Kin is smiling at someone 

"Yes," Enrik answered without any source of curiosity "Maybe they like each other." he calmly said making Noah choke on air 

'Like! Each Other! When did it happen? Did I miss something?' 

He swallowed a deep breath and look at Ariana the way she was staring at the Nerd with so much tenderness even being a few feet away from them he could feel the affection or whatever going on between them but for his boyfriend, it seems like it's not unusual did he knew about this? and didn't tell him.

"H-how do you know ?" He asked looking at his boyfriend ready to accuse him of hiding this 

Enrik looked down to see Noah who pouted in annoyance which only inflict him to smile,  even though his smiling face makes him more fierce his lover doesn't mind it. "Because it's the same way I look at you," He answered holding Noah's hands 

Noah blushed their fingers slowly wrapped together, He glanced at his friend, Enrik is right the way they were ogling into each other not minding anyone that's what he felt when the first time he saw Enrik, captivated. 

He hummed affirming that Enrik was implying an idea lit upon his head. "Baby?" He called his boyfriend who was always attentive to him and answered with a 'yes'. " Can you take a photo of them?"

He pleaded without any complaint Enrik held the camera and took a photo of the moment when the Queen Bee stood beside the other students, a gentle fancying smile coated on her lips enchanted by the nerd who was on the stage gleamed back

This Evening will Indeed be better for some people.