Chapter 1

WOW, Rayna thought as she slammed her apartment door shut. What a Monday, Mondays are usually hectic, but today was just annoying! Rayna thought. She strode to the kitchen, tossing pieces of clothes on any furniture available. By the time she got to the kitchen, her shirt and denim trousers were the only piece of clothes she had on. Rayna searched her fridge for a refreshing glass of – anything. Seconds of searching her fridge, she saw a bottle of champagne. I deserve champagne and a bath. She shuffled to her room to prepare a bobbling bath. Humming to a commercial she heard earlier, she changed into her bathrobe and toured on the tap. She placed her hand under the tap to get the right temperature and walked into her living room.

"Shot," she said when she spotted her champagne on the kitchen counter, so she got up and collected it. When she sat down, she looked around; all the clothes she threw around were still there. With a sigh, Rayna got up – again. She picked up all the clothes and placed her shoes on her shoe rack. Rayna prepared in her bathtub and then groaned. She forgot to put the stopper on.

"There goes my water bill-goddamnit," she said.

She flopped on her sofa with a long sigh. Then she started flipping the channels.

"nope," "nuh-uh," "mm…Nah". The tv was boring. Sometimes Rayna asks herself why she still pays for it. She decided to leave it on a news channel.

With nothing to do, Rayna went back into her room. She also arranged all her work stuff on the table at the far corner of her room, which had a desk and a chair with papers neatly arranged. Everything was right where it was supposed to be – except for her work bag and documents. Her eyes sparkled with purpose; she organised her papers and reorganised the ones she had arranged earlier. Her workers called her an organisation freak, but in her opinion, she was being contained.

Then she checked her bath; it was almost ready. She sat on the edge of the tub and flicked some water when the reporter on tv said something that caught her attention, so she went back to the living room to check it out.

"…gunshots late at night, alarming the people on Hain Street in Moreton estate…."

"Moreton estate," she repeated; that's my estate, she thought.

She sat down on the hand of her sofa.

"…eye witness reports claim that there were gunshots at midnight this morning, one report says they were very brief, but enough to wake the whole neighbourhood…."

"This is not the first death in this neighbourhood; that is why some speculate gang wars to be behind the gunshots," she said, "but this assumption cannot be proven."

The screen spit to make way for a reporter

"…over to your John."

"Well, Mary, this is a peculiar scene; indeed, the police have closed the area, as you can see…" the cameraman zoomed into the scene. A body covered with black cloth was slanted on a bench, and blood was smeared all over the sides of the body, with some blood trailing into the bushes.

"…seems to be a confrontation; according to the police, there were about two people present in this scene, including the unidentified corpse, the police refuse to say more on the matter, but from what I can see here, it might be a confrontation. Blood trails lead in two opposite directions, so the parties involved escaped injured…."

"This is crazy," Rayna said; then she heard water splashing, but there was no water on the screen – damn.

Rayna sprinted to the bath, but the whole place was drenched. She put off the water and started mopping, mumbling frantically.

"Finally," Rayna said with a sigh, the bathroom was dry, and her bath was warm. Rayna strolled to the kitchen.

Feeling rather accomplished, Rayna ambled happily to get her champagne, then she took off her robe and sunk into the bathtub. She sighed when her skin made contact with the lukewarm water.

"Now this," said Rayna while gulping the champagne bottle, "is relaxing."

She slid down; only her knees and head were visible over bubbly water. Rayna closed her eyes; ahh, she thought, this is perfect, a little rest before she starts her evening agenda. Chiming from her room interrupted her thoughts.

Rayna grudgingly got out of the bathtub. She secured her towel under her armpit while mumbling, "And I bet it's not a good reason to call to."

The call cut, but the person probably called again because the ringtone's song started again. It was a default Samsung sung and an annoying one, but if it isn't so obnoxious, she may never hear it. So, Rayna poured all her items from her bag onto her bed and felt for her phone. She was able to pick up the call just before it cut. It was an unknown number – odd.

"hi," she said with a sigh. She hopped whoever called talks first because all that searching took her breath away. She covered what she hoped was the receiver while she took some deep breaths.

"Hello," the caller chimed; she sounded happy to have the conversation, almost relieved, Rayna thought.

"h-hello?" the caller repeated,

"hi, um, sorry - who's this?".

"Um, is this Rayna Gander?".

"yes," said Rayna with all the civility she could find; this call was getting very irritating.

"Okay, um, this is social services. I'm sorry I sound very abrupt; I've been trying to contact you for months-"

"-Months? "

"yes, well, um," the caller said. She cleared her throat and resumed speaking in a calm and almost rehearsed tone, "this is social services."

"Um, what? I think this may be a mistake; I do not need your services and don't even have a child! Nor am I in a traumatising-"

"you do have a child," said the caller, her voice strained with stress. This call was taking more time than she had hoped.

"what? I think I would know if I produced an offspring," Rayna said matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm a bit off today – I meant you have Goddaughter."

"WHAT?" Rayna said, "what? Explain?!"

"y-yes, the mother specifically asked t-to bring the child to you."

"who," Rayna said in a surprisingly calm voice, "is the mother."

"I don't know who she is," the caller replied, "however she did leave a letter addressed to you when she delivered, it said no one else should open" then the caller mumbled, "it, but it seems impossible to open.

"and how did you know?"

When there was no response, Rayna jeered "mmmmmm" at the caller.

"I-uh…er…b-because the nurse d-did not make it clear". Then the caller added, "I'm sorry, it was the only evidence of the child, so I wanted to know."

"s-so can we talk later in person", the caller added. Rayna could hear the plea in that last reply, so she said.

"Sure. When is it okay for us to meet."

"Um, any time, just call this number- bye." The call cut.

Rayna would have assumed this was a dream, but it was 6 pm and 5 pm when she entered the bathroom.

Now she looked at her phone; what was she going to do now? she had a baby, a baby? Maybe she should make room for the little one. Rayna turned on the spot; then, she stared blankly. She couldn't think of anything she was supposed to do. Her mind was blank. Rayna could not think of anything!

Then her phone chimed again, so she picked it

"Hello," she said

"good evening, ma'am," said the caller

"Oh, Zuri," Raina said, her memory returning now, "what's up?"

"ma'am, the agenda of the meeting tomorrow isn't certain anymore," Zuri said. Rayna could hear some clicking on her end.

"How come?" Rayna responded, and now she remembered. She had a board meeting tomorrow and wanted to prepare for it by 6 pm, so she asked Zuri to send the plan for her to review.

"some more items came up, plus, um, there is more spending you need to approve," Zuri typed, "the transportation department is having troubles, so they need tomorrow to tidy up."

"Well then, schedule the meeting for Wednesday," Rayna said. She heard some typing, so she said, "what other meetings- or activities- do I have tomorrow?".

"um," she said, Rayna heard the clicking sounds of a mouse, "you have" some more clicking, "you have a visit to another firm, that's all."

"Move it to Friday," Rayna said. She had picked up her tablet and looked at the office schedule Zoey was referring to.

She had two, an office schedule that executive members had aces to. It's connected to her laptop, a large screen in each firm, and the computer in Rayna's office. Then Rayna had her schedule that no one but her had to access. How could she forget!

"o-o-okay," Zuri said, and Rayna saw the item move, so she approved it. Rayna made the app herself, and it always gives her joy when it works (which is all the time).

Now that Rayna was free till Wednesday, her schedule seemed relatively empty. Rayna tapped her tablet screen with the tip of her fingernail that finally grew out.

"I could see the social service lady tomorrow," she mumbled and imputed,

'see social service,' then she stared at her screen and added, she added 'call social service,' and then she deleted it. Why don't I call her now?

Rayna picked up her phone and tapped the unknown number.

"Hello," she heard a voice say

"This is Rayna- we spoke earlier; I'm calling about a meeting?"

"ah yes, it was about to call, does tomorrow by 2 pm sound good?".

"Okay," Rayna replied

"Good, okay by"

"Can you tell me more details about the baby? I want to be prepared."

"Okay, do you have a pen?"

Rayna nodded, then hastily said, "yes." She had her tablet pen in her palm, ready to write. She had already opened 'notes' before the call started. After some clicking sounds, the lady said

"The baby is a girl, about four months; that's all we know about her."

Rayna tapped the pen on her cheek, "wow, okay, well, how is the baby- she?"

"she's fine; she is in our nursery with other babies, so she is well taken care of," The lady said

"Well then, ill pick her up tomorrow."

"Sure"

and the call cut.

She sighed. With her tablet in her arm, she walked around like a paranoid secretary and asked herself the obvious question. Who is the mother? Then she sat down with her tablet on her chest. The pacing never helped her. She scooted a little on the chair and became aware of her body. She was still wearing her towel?!

She placed her tablet down while she got up to wear clothes. She emerged from her room with an oversized t-shirt and knee-length trousers. Then Rayna looked around. There was still nothing for her to do. She could feel her body getting tense. She needed something to do.

"aha," she said with a finger snap, "I'll bake"

She swiftly walked to the kitchen. After a lot of banging and shifting, she brought a square cake pan and one cupcake tray. Then she brought out her mixing bowls and opened a drawer. Her kitchen was the biggest room in her apartment, it is connected to the living room, separated by a counter big enough to fit a laptop on, and the counter stops about 1 meter from the wall that leads out of the apartment. The kitchen has a centre island and a fridge in the left corner. Then a big standing cabinet and three small ceiling ones along that wall. The side walls have a floating cabinet with all her spices to the right and all her cooking utensils hanging to the left. Then at the right corner was a door with drinks and cleaning supplies. Rayna walked to the ample cabinet and opened it; it was filled with cake supplies and raw food. She picked her ingredients and placed them on the centre island. Then Rayna got to work, measuring ingredients and mixing the dry and light ingredients in different bowls. After Rayna picked up another bowl, she brought it out and put butter and sugar into it; she was going to cream and liked it – because it was a lot of work. Once she put in the right amount of water and sugar, she carried the bowl to the living room.

Her living room had two couches and a three-seated sofa surrounding the flat-screen TV attached to the wall. This arrangement created a square at the corner of the room. In the middle of the counter and the tv was a sliding door that led to a balcony, and the other side of the square had two doors. These doors are beside each other. They lead to the two rooms in the apartment. Right after those room doors is a four-seater dining table. On that wall are two shelves holding books and documents.

Rayna placed the bowl on the coffee table and sat on the three-seater sofa (directly opposite the tv); she picked up the remote and put it on the TV, she looked at the channel show, but she wasn't watching. All she could think of was the day's events, rather, this evening's events.

Who on earth is the mother? She didn't think the person was an employee and would know if it was a friend. So, it has to be someone from my childhood…but who? Only one way to find out, she thought. So, she placed the bowl on the coffee table, got one of her old picture albums from her shelf, and started flipping through.

"Ahh," she said while liking some creaming mix and resizing. Each person she saw, she ruled them out,

"Not Riley," she mumbled "she's married and lives in America," "can't be Amy- I do need to send her this picture," "oh, I forgot all about Mathew, "Blimey, look how small Jason was," "hey- I remember this…."

The memories flooded in. Rayna made mental notes to reach out to every one of them, sill she couldn't remember being a Godmother to any of them. So who is it?

Rayna was giving up when she saw a picture. It was a younger version of herself hugging a girl round the neck and grinning ear to ear. The girl had golden hair and bright sky blue eyes that smiled with her. The girl had her arm around a young Rayna's waist, and their free arms each did the peace sign. The picture seemed to jab Rayna's memory like a hammer. Rayna's smile faded, and her eyes clouded. She removed the photo and flipped it over.

'Rayna and Amara – xoxoxoxo.'

Rayna ran her hand over the picture as tears trickled down her face; it was so obvious now; why didn't I think of you sooner- Amara? Now the tears just kept coming. She didn't bother cleaning them; she let them pour; most trailed to her neck and onto her shirt, and some fell on the girls in the picture. Her eyes closed as her head leaned back. She could feel herself travelling far from here from the present- into the past.

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"Rayna, don't sleep," whined a young girl throwing a pillow at a young Rayna's face.

"ouch," Rayna said while throwing the pillow back. The girl caught it and then squealed. She had another in the other arm; she threw it. Rayna fell back on the floor with the pillow on her face.

"Amara," she said, then pushed the pillow off her face

Rayna put on her angriest expression, but she giggled when another pillow hit her.

"PILLOW FIGHT" they yelled and started throwing pillows all over the place.

Amara was running and ducking and throwing, but Rayna got close enough to her to kick her off the floor, Rayna started hitting her with the pillows, and then Amara turned her over and gave Rayna a few hits of her own. Rayna tickled her, and all Amara's pads fell while she broke out in laughs.

"STOP" she yelled, But Rayna ignored her. So Amara pinched her.

Rayna screamed and fell to the floor. They continued laughing till they were out of breath. Soon heaving and huffing engulfed the room and started hitting her with the pillow. When they had caught their breath, Rayna collected the remote of the tv and put it on. Their favourite Disney movie was showing the prince and the frog. They watched in awe, even if they knew all the lines. Once the movie ended, Rayna turned to look at Amara.

"When I grow up and meet Mr perfect," she said, "I want to meet him in a particular place; I want it to be so-so-so- "Rayna fell to the floor with one palm on her head. Amara looked at her with mock disdain and said

"-nauseating" in a matter-of-fact way.

Rayna huffed and threw a pillow at her; then, she fell to the floor

"-romantic," said Rayna with a longing sigh

Rolling her eyes, Rayna finished her sentence as though there was no interruption; sitting up, she said

"romantic" while dramatically fainting. Amara rolled her eyes and then threw the pillow at her.

"hey," said Rayna

"I," said Amara. Rayna sat up and placed her head between her fists and crossed legs. Amara stared at Rayna and smiled, then she laughed and threw a pillow at Rayna.

"What was that for?" Rayna whined, then giggled. She leaned back while Amara turned to face her.

"I don't want a prince charming," Amara said. Rayna shot her a how-could-you-betray-me look; Amara giggled.

"I just want to keep my baby safe, like how my mummy and my brother keep me safe."

"s-so no prince".

Amara nodded.

"no happily-ever-after?".

Amara nodded again.

"hu," said Rayna, "then I can be your prince" she pulled Amara to her feet and twirled her around on the spot, then she mimicked a ball dance and held Amara.

"ma belle?" she said while wriggling her eyebrows. Amara pushed her away while giggling.

"But, Amara, a prince is good," Rayna said

"Well, I have 2; I don't need any more," Amara replied

Rayna gave her a questioning look

Then Amara said, "you and my brother, of course."

"I'm a PriNcESSS," Rayna whined with a mock frown. Amara laughed and nodded; then, she sat on the floor.

"I don't want any man to do anything to my child," she said

"Just like your dad," Rayna replied. Amara nodded, so Rayna hurried towards her and hugged her.

"I'll-I'll pound them," Rayna said, "no one will do anything to you or your baby on my watch."

Amara smiled and shook her head. "No, you'll be the one holding my baby while I shred them to pieces, and you'll hold me back to calm me- right?" she stared at Rayna, her big blue eyes staring at Rayna's light brown ones, then Rayna smiled.

"yes," said Rayna, "always."

"then," Amara said, she got up and placed her hand on her hip, "you'll be my baby's Godmother."

Rayna stared at her; Amara looked at her hopefully.

Then Rayna chuckled and said, "of course- but you don't have a child."

"And how will you know if you want me to still be your child's Godmother by then!" Rayna said; she stared at Amara quizzically.

Amara knelt and took Rayna's hands, her blue eyes sparkling, "I will always want you to be my child Godmother because- because," Amara closed her eyes and opened them again; they looked warmly but determined into Rayna's eyes, "because you are my princess."

Rayna smiled. Amara got up and started pacing around with an arm on her chin.

"if it's a Boy- Nate," said Amara, "girl- Nathaniel."

"Why- and thats thesame name," said Rayna

"I dont care. Plus its my brothers name; he is my prince, he looked out for me before I met you…he still does," said Amara.

Rayna stared at Amara, and then she smiled.

"Well, I like it; I will remind you, Amara," Rayna said.

Amara clapped with joy, and Rayna giggled…

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A young Amara stood heaving and huffing on an elementary playground; she had clenched fists and a hostile glare directed toward three children standing opposite her. They were bigger than her but the same age.

Arms crossed, Amara said, "no, Theo, I won't go play somewhere else."

"Really," Theo said, walking towards her. He pushed her to the ground. The other two with him started laughing.

Amara got up and pushed him.

He staggered, but Theo didn't fall. Everyone around the playground stared. Theo caught himself and then charged Amara.

"aaaaaa," he called; fists lifted. Amara couldn't run, so she closed her eyes, ready to receive a hit.

Amara heard a punch, but she felt nothing. Someone was Infront of her. Before Amara realised what was going on, another punch was in the air. The person punched Theo; he landed on the floor. The children watching cheered. The girl in front of Amara glared at the other children who came with Theo, and they ran.

"Next time," shouted the girl with her fists in the air, "don't be a bully- bully!"

The children around the playground cheered again. The girl turned around to look at Amara.

"Are you okay?" she said. Amara nodded.

"let me help you with that," Amara said, pointing at the girl's cheek. The girl nodded, so they walked inside the classroom.

"What happened- you poor things," A teacher said. She rushed towards them

"there was a boy, he was bullying," the girl said. The teacher brought out the first aid,

"here, loves," she said to the girls, "use this on your wound" she gave them cotton wool and a bottle, and then she left for the playground.

The girls silently tapped the cotton wool on the bottle and then on their wounds.

"I- I'm Amara Roberts," said Amara

"nice to meet you, Amara," she winched, then said, "hi, I'm Rayna Ganders."

Rayna stretched out a free hand, and Amara grabbed it,

"I've never seen you before," Amara said after they finished cleaning their wounds

"that's because I'm new," Rayna said. She closed the bottle and threw away their cotton wool.

"then- then why did you help me," Amara said. She looked at Rayna. When Rayna turned away from the first aid kit, she stared at her hands.

"Because you needed help," Rayna said, she looked at Amara, but Amara continued admiring her nails.

"and your, my friend," Rayna said, "right?"

"yes- I would love that," Amara replied. She walked to Rayna and hugged her.

"best friends?" Amara said from behind Rayna

"yes," Rayna said. She broke out of the hug so that he could see Amara better.

"Always," Rayna said. And Amara smiled.

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Rayna was in her apartment, leaning on her centre island, staring at her living room, scrolling through her contacts, till she got to Amara with a heart emoji she swiped. Rayna tapped her nails on the kitchen cabinet, praying for the call to go through.

"hello Amara," she said once the receiver picked up

"hello Rayna," Amara said. She sounded drained.

"Are you alright? You sound exhausted?"

"I'm," Amara said; she sighed, "I've been better."

"what happened? I haven't heard from you for a while," Rayna replied,

"I'm sorry, I- I'm so sorry," Amara said, her voice shook with sobs

"don't cry, tell me what the matter, where are you, can I come- "

"NO" Amara yelled, then she added, "I mean, I'm fine. I'm just tired, that's all."

"Okay, I cannot wait to see you," Rayna said. She added a yay in her mind

"I love you, Rayna, my very own princess," Amara said

"I love you too, Amara, but why are you sounding like this" Rayna replied

"Remember your, my princess, and I love you. I don't know when, but I will explain everting…hopefully, I will be able to."

"What do you- "

"Goodbye, my best friend; hopefully, I will see you again."

"Okay, I love you too."

Then the call cut.

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After that, Rayna called and texted Amara every day, but nothing. Amara sent her a present the year after that call, and Rayna kept it. It was a small pocket watch in Rayna's jewellery case compartment. But Rayna knew Amara; she would talk when she wanted to. That was how Amara gradually left her mind.

Besides, Rayna's life was tasking on its own. She ran the family business:

GANDERS GARMENTS

Initially, Rayna studied computer science. She was good at coding and making websites and always wanted to do that, but since her parents died and her brother refused to take the company, it became hers.

Rayna's eyes were clouded; she should have tried to contact Amara. It was her fault. I'm supposed to help her. The more she thought about it, the more Rayna knew Amara was in trouble- no, she thought Amara would bring the child herself if she were in a tight spot… the child is in social services because- Rayna closed her eyes, tears were streaming down by now.

"Because Amara is dead," Rayna whispered; she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Amara can't be dead," she said, "she just can't."

Rayna dropped the album on the floor and cupped her palms, the tears fell on it, and she covered her face.

"no- no," she kept on saying.

After a while, she whispered, "no."

She didn't move or sob for about an hour or two. She looked petrified. The only movement was her tears, which were still pouring.

All she could see was Amara's face. Every memory of Amara played in her mind in pieces. She saw her at graduation, Then as children, Then as an adult. Then she saw the last memory of Amara she had, as visible as if it were happening. She and Amara walked out of a hotel room and onto the reception.

"I cannot believe this is goodbye," Amara had said

"not forever," Rayna said, "see you later."

they hugged and promised to see again. Then Rayna cleaned her tears.

Thinking about it now, Rayna did see Amara recently, well, not recently as in yesterday, recently as in some months back. Fresh tears dropped as she recalled that day she was sitting in the coffee shop. Rayna goes there most mornings, especially when it's a busy day.

She was staring out the window when she saw someone watching her; she had seen the person before, the person saw her but left. Rayna rushed outside, but the person was gone. Then she had a call and meetings all day, so she completely forgot.

"she wanted to see me," Rayna said, "why Amara, why didn't you let me help you?"

Rayna stared at the picture; It was on the coffee table. She picked up the album and placed the picture back. Rayna closed the book. Her eyes were puffy, and she couldn't see very clearly. Rayna sighed. This won't do, she thought; Amara's death is not confirmed, even though Rayna knew in her heart that her death was the only answer.

"be optimistic," Rayna said through barred teeth. Then she picked up her mixing bowl and continued creaming. Some tears dropped down into the mix. Rayna sniffed and cleaned her tears, but more just kept coming. So, she dropped the mixture and then picked it up again.

This won't do; I have to pull through. Rayna started mixing faster. For Amara's sake… For the baby. Rayna mixed some more. She was going to help Amara and her Goddaughter. But first, she was going to finish this cake. Maybe it'll be magical, like the cookies Mal gave to Ben. The thought made her smile.