Chapter 18.

“I saw the fire in your eyes

I saw the fire when I look into your eyes…” Take My Breath - The Weekend

February, 2137

Eveline

And when the door slammed behind him I let out the breath I hadn't even realized I was holding and my body relaxed, so I looked down at my feet and tried to figure out what the hell had happened there, and I was slightly startled to feel Roman's touch on my wrist that hurt.

He noticed because he stepped back and withdrew his hand but I held it in place and when I looked up his green eyes were fixed on the purple mark that was forming on my wrist, his green irises glowed with a fury I didn't know but knew it wasn't directed at me and sadness, his long fingers traced the skin of my wrist and his touch managed to soothe any kind of bad memory created in that room.

“He never should have touched you, I promised he'd be there when you needed him and I wasn't and he almost…” He tried to say but closed his eyes and stopped mid-sentence and I saw how tense he was about what had happened here earlier whether it was my fault for teasing him or that's what I always tried to tell myself.

“Don't blame yourself, because I was the one who provoked him and…” but I didn't finish speaking because he opened his eyes and looked at me as if I had said the biggest bullshit in the universe.

“Never repeat that again, it was his fault that he couldn't take a “no” and respect you, a man or anyone else should never touch another woman or person in any way without they giving him permission to do so, he disrespected you and marked your body without you wanting to and out of respect for you I didn't break his face but I would have done it with gusto and without remorse," he said as he looked into my eyes to emphasize every word and I found myself agreeing with him when usually the blame fell on me and I let it happen without retorting because it never worked.

And I was amazed that he was one of the only ones who agreed with me.

If my father heard the story he would definitely be by Nathan’s side and it infuriated me to think that I was always blamed when something like this happened, and it made me realize how much our society had regressed over the years and what small thoughts like these were extremely common.

“I usually don't care about it because no one even bothers to listen to my side, it's always easier to accept that and let it go,” I say and shrug but he moves closer to me leaving a respectable space between us and makes a move to hold my face and look at me for permission and I accept and gently he holds my face and touches my cheek and I feel a little pain where Nathan has squeezed me but he just watches that part with extreme sadness before focusing his look at me.

“You shouldn't let it go because the world needs people like you, people who fight for what they believe in, you fought for your people and you'll keep fighting as long as you breathe and that's wonderful because for years when I look at people I don't see this flame, this determination to fight and challenge the dogmas that slaughter people in our society, and it would be extremely sad to see this flame die again,” he said seriously and it touched my heart in so many ways that I ended up at a loss for words but he continued talking with a beautiful smile on her face, with dimples and little wrinkles around his eyes “And I tell you princess to fight, don't bow your head, I know he will be your husband but don't let him erase your shine, your joy and your smile, it's not your fault that certain people think small and don't have the slightest respect for others, you and others of us do and appreciate it, and I think it might help us to improve the future for generations to come,” he says and pauses for a moment as he looks into my eyes and I see a hopeful glint that this will happen and it makes me admire him even more, so I walk up to him and he stares at me deeply but looks at me for a few more minutes before continuing talking “Know that on my part princess I would never touch you without your permission and I'd like to apologize for not getting here any faster,” he said and looked into my eyes before pulling away and curtsy but I rolled my eyes and pulled him back until he was erect again.

"I appreciate you helping me and not blaming me like everyone else does, you're a perfect gentleman, the lucky one who has your heart will be in good hands," I said and smiled at him but I realized our smiles didn't come to our eyes for some reason I didn't know.

“She will be,” he says simply and I nod and we fall into peaceful silence.

I then asked him to take me to the room, he accepted but I wanted to get some books before we went. He then walked me to one of the shelves and I dragged one of the huge stairs we kept in the room to the bookcase I wanted to look at and took out my heels and Roman held them for me as I climbed until I was almost on the last shelf that was just inches from the ceiling.

When I looked down I saw that he had respectfully turned away to not look at the bottom of my skirt and for a moment watching him I found myself wondering what it would be like to have him by my side forever, but soon I pushed that idea to the back of my mind as he probably just saw me as the princess he had to babysit, but as I turned my attention to the shelves I remembered our kiss a few days ago and smiled as I ran my fingers along the spines of the book until I found what I wanted.

I remembered the taste of her rosy, fleshy mouth, the woody aroma mixed with vanilla of his perfume, the warmth of his body, his hands against me and closed my eyes for a moment as I leaned against the shelf, when I opened my eyes again I realized that he was leaning against the other shelf, his coat off, and looking at nothing.

He was so handsome and gentle that it’s hurts.

I then shook my head and kept looking for the books until I found them and took another one of poems for Roman to read in my room, but as I made the pile my foot slipped off the stairs which made me squeal and soon he was standing under the stairs to catch me when I fell down.

I felt when his arms caught me and he hit the floor hard and the air was robbed of our lungs at the same time and inadvertently our heads bumped into each other like before and we lay on the floor breathing deeply.

I realized my body didn't hurt at all, but Roman absorbed the entire fall and would probably be sore tomorrow.

He was lying on the floor and I was lying on top of him, our deep breaths filling the silence of the library as I decided to raise my head to watch him and saw that his eyebrow was cut where my head would probably hit it and as I leaned on the carpet beside his hair he opened his eyes and stared at me.

"Are you okay?" I ask and lightly touch his face close to the bruise and his whole face creases slightly but he doesn't mumble "I'm sorry my foot slipped, it must be bad to always have someone falling on you all the time, isn't it?" I say chuckling awkwardly and he smiles at me and brushes a strand of my hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear which makes little butterflies flutter inside me.

“As long as the person is you princess there's no problem with that,” he says and I end up laughing and he smirks as he fixes his hair and sits with me still sitting on him which makes me blush at the realization.

“Sorry again, let me help you!" I say and get up quickly and reach out my hand for him who catches it and gets up but as he is heavier than me so I almost fall again but he holds me tight around the waist and lifts me up and I end up laughing.

“If you go on like this I'll always have to be waiting for you under the windows, won't I Princess?" He says and I hit his chest feeling the strong muscles under his shirt and when my hand stops there I look at him and the amusement fades from his face as he seems to realize something as soon he pulls away and takes our things and I compose myself.

And in that moment as he led me towards the door with his big hands against the small of my back, his long fingers in contact with the skin there I realized that we would never go beyond what we were.

Just the princess and the guard, and nothing else.

While he was concentrating on closing the library door I realized that we had left the books behind but I was no longer interested in them, I took advantage and observed his beautiful face, his freckles, the curve of his lips and eyebrows where the bruises resided, the way his chest rose and fell and I felt how comfortable I was in his presence, but it wasn't the same comfort I shared with Nick, it was something deeper and more marked.

He must have noticed me looking because he turned his face towards me and raised a questioning eyebrow and as soon as I thought of a good excuse.

“Your eyebrow has opened and your mouth is bruised, maybe I have to stitch and apply antiseptic,” I say like an idiot and he frowns and as soon as I explain “I took a nurse course last year when I traveled to Italy, I swear I won't make you look like the Frankstein!” I told him to chill out and he chuckled as he led me to the end of the hallway where our rooms were.

“That's not a problem Eve, I will deal with this later because if your fiancé like the shithead he has, might see me gettin out of your room in this time of the night he will think bad things about you, and I don’t want this to you Eve,” he said as he guided me and I saw my door at the end of the hall.

"Fuck him, I'm not going to leave you bleeding because of my oversight and Linda is probably sleeping at this time!" I said referring to our nurse and when he stopped to think he agreed.

So we went into my room and I locked the door and gestured to him to feel comfortable while I went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit I keep in there, when I came back to my room I saw he was sitting on the edge of my bed and my shoes were on the side of his foot and his coat was lying on my dresser.

He really was at home.

I then approached him and left the box beside him on the bed and tied my hair in a bun before taking the antiseptic and gauze to clean the wounds, when I approached him he opened his legs so I could stand between them and so I did and held his face with one hand while with the other I gently cleaned the wounds.

He closed his eyes as I cleaned, and I ran the gauze over his brow and watched as he bit his lip in reflex and I gently stroked his cheek with my thumb as I continued.

I discarded the bloodstained gauze and grabbed another one to wipe his lower lip, and as I applied antiseptic to the little patch I saw him open his eyes and stare at me deeply, his green eyes burning towards me which made me shiver, but so soon I returned to the original position between his legs and continued to clean, but when I prepared the needle I noticed that he retreated slightly and I ended up laughing without meaning to.

"Are you afraid, Rom?" I said mockingly and he smiled with his eyes closed as I got ready to do the first stitches.

“I trust you, Eve," he said and I held it tighter to his face realizing he already had a scar on his temple that I hadn't noticed before but just ignored it how I'd done with the scars decorating his back in a horrendous way, this one it was certainly a delicate subject for him and I would not be the one to demand anything from him about it, just as he respects my space.

I then concentrated and ran the needle through his skin and I heard him grunt as he involuntarily held my waist tightly which made me sigh deeply, but I held my ground.

Soon I was going to completely lose my posture around him.

“Easy Tiger,” I say and he apologizes before I continue, but two stitches later and everything is in place and he finally opens his eyes as I search for a bandage and end up finding a ridiculous teddy-patterned Band-Aid for paste on your eyebrow which makes me laugh and get your attention.

“What have you done to me Eve?" He asks and I just continue to laugh and he gets up desperately and walks towards the mirror but when he looks in it he ends up laughing with me when he sees the pink plastic piece glued to his eyebrow "I was hoping it would get worse," he he said and I rolled my eyes at him and then a brief silence fell over the room but when I looked up at him I realized he was staring at me and I sit on the bed.

“It's alright? Are you allright? Does it hurt?” I asked after his sudden change in demeanor and got up to go to him and stopped in front of him seeing his beautiful green eyes that made me completely lose my posture if they turned in my direction.

“No, I’m okay," he said softly as he walked a little closer and rise his hands but didn’t touch me but despite the latest events I didn't flinch at his hands and nods to him to confirm that I’m okay with his gesture because I knew he wasn't going to hurt me like Nathan, somehow Roman just wanted to keep me close and I realized that he moved towards me because he wanted to touch me.

Luckily for him, I wanted to be touched by him too, and I found myself noticing that these past few days we were always finding excuses to touch each other.

He then reached up to my bun and gently pulled the strands of and they cascaded in a black wave against my bare back tickling and I looked up at him as his fingertips traced the probably purplish mark that formed on the my cheek where Nathan had pinched and I hadn't had the courage to look, I by sheer reflex lay my face against the warm palm of his hand and felt the cool contrast of his rings against my burning skin.

I then raised my hands and touched his getting his attention and he raised his other hand to hold my face with both of them so I could look at him well and I stood on my tiptoes so I could touch his face not understanding what was going on there but enjoying his gesture, his eyes dropped to my face and stopped on my mouth and for a moment I wanted to kiss him.

But I knew that whatever attitude we had today could hurt us a lot in the future, and even though I was practically going crazy here I couldn't hurt and get hurt in the process, it wasn't fair to us, and even though I wanted Nathan to go to hell I couldn't.

But I've been dying to touch him again since we kissed in the garage, it might seem like complete madness but it had been a long time since I had felt something like that for someone I barely knew, so I stroked his face and laced my hands around his neck getting closer to him and I felt when his hands went down my arms and stopped gently on the curve of my waist, I then played with the hairs on the back of his neck, stroking and running my nails in that region and feeling his skin crawl as he gently squeezed my waist.

"Roman," I called to him and he tilted his head down to be in the same line of sight as mine and his short strands of hair fell partially over his eyes and I brushed them away kindly with my fingertips and he took a deep breath as I moved closer until my nose brushed his "What's this?" I asked softly as I continued the caress and he closed his eyes and rubbed the tip of his nose against mine and I smiled.

“Fuck I don't know Eve,” he says really confused as he strokes my waist and I nod but neither of us try to pull away and it feels like we just move closer and I can feel his chest touching mine and my thighs in line with his.

“I don't know either,” I say softly with our lips just inches apart and he grunts in frustration and leans his forehead against mine breathing hard as he ponders.

“If we do that we're going to get hurt,” he says and gently rubs his nose against mine and I laugh humorlessly feeling my chest ache from not being able to be with him the right way and I don't know how we got here so fast but unfortunately he is prohibited territory.

“Shit, I know, but I really wanted to know how it felt to someone and now that I know what it's like, I don't know what to do about it,” I say taking a deep breath and when I look up at him his green eyes are glued to mine of violet color but that night they were a little bluish, he caressed my face slowly and I caressed the back of his neck and he smiled minimally and we were silent.

I enjoyed our little moment in silence, feeling his presence, his scent and his touch, just like he did me, at some point I laid my head on his chest gently and he stroked my hair and kissed my cheek tenderly, I held one of his hands and kissed his fingers and he caressed the bruised cheek.

“We can't put ourselves in this situation because a lot of people will get hurt in the process, but know that whenever you need me I'll be there Eve, I'll never let you down, and even if this is difficult and I'm just your guard who knows in another life let us be lucky?” He says and I lean back from his chest and I see he has a beautiful smile on his face and is trying to cheer me up. I laugh but I feel a little tear run down my cheek and he kisses my cheek again and I hug him one last time and close my eyes inhaling her delicious vanilla scent.

I really got hooked on him, in every way possible when I least imagined it, and realizing it hurt because it was the first time this had happened.

When I opened my eyes he held my face and kissed me one last time on the forehead and pulled away, I dried my eyes as I watched him put on his coat and button it and I just continued to stand there with my chest tight and when I realized he was already his back to me with his hand on the door I walked over to my dressing table and sat down feeling a huge sadness come over me as I realized something extremely important.

“Thanks Eve," I heard his husky voice come from far away and I lifted my face towards him but he had his back to me and I lay my face on the dresser not having any strength to respond.

When I closed my eyes I could hear the door open and close and when I opened my eyes my room was empty, the only memory that he was there was his touch and the vanilla and wood smell of his perfume, and the realization that had gripped me came back full force and nearly punched the air out of my chest.

I had found someone I cared about and would probably lose him forever and that hurt like hell, more than anything I'd ever felt.