THE UNRETURNABLE REGRET

The clinic occupied about fifty people in total, and all of them had passed away.

Let alone the sound of laughter, they could not hear even the moan of pain, or heavy breath, or heartbreaking sobs. This clinic was totally quiet, with all its inhabitants were closing their eyes in peace, as if they were all just asleep.

All of them had been freed from the pain of suffering, and this time, they had been going towards a place where was far better than this cruel world.

Liu Ku took them to another medical clinic. And to the another one. And so on. They visited clinic after clinic, and the results Zhu Su saw were all the same.

Everyone had passed away.

Nobody was still alive.

Men, women, elder, younger, kids, babies... all of them had gone to Hereafter.

When they arrived at the last medical clinic which had also been filled with corpses, Zhu Su could no longer hold his weight. He fell down, kneeling on the ground.

My Heaven, what have I done?

Hundreds of people have lost their lives in vain. And it is me, who have killed all of them.

Even though they are blameless to me. They even don't recognize me, and I don't recognize them either. But, because of me, they must die...

Only to take revenge, but it must be ended in this fatal result?

Should it be?...

Zhu Su was so devastated as he saw the results of the biological warfare they waged. He was so devastated that he no longer cared about Zhu Di who sighed with exasperation, or Liu Ku who could only pull his blank face away from him and now stared at the sky.

How frustrated he was. He had violated his true life principle - his most sincere conscience from the deepest part inside of his heart.

***

Although the empress lost her twins, Zhu Su's herbal prescription apparently managed to save her life. Now she could accept that the issue of her twins' death was the Fate arranged by Heaven, and by then was able to restore her vigor quickly.

About Zhu Yunwen, he also got better gradually. As Liu Ku predicted, the young emperor's stamina was so strong the epidemic would not make him die. Now both the emperor and his empress had recovered, and were ready to carry out state duties as they were supposed to do.

The outbreak in the outskirts of Jiangsu had also vanished, even though it must lead to a fatal final result. But the spreading of the outbreak had stopped completely. All residents in the area around Jiangsu cheered happily because the deadly epidemic no longer disturbed them.

Zhu Yunwen turned out not to be a person who forgot one's kindness. Although he hated Zhu Su, but since his fifth uncle had cured him, he specially called Zhu Su to Yingtian Palace. In 1402, in the first month of the Chinese lunar calendar, Zhu Yunwen allowed Zhu Su to live in a comfortable residence of Yingtian. He was also permitted to enjoy a luxurious life as before, however, he was still kept powerless in politics and military.

"I should thank you, Fifth Uncle. Please consider this as a repayment I should give for your help," Zhu Yunwen said.

"It has been my duty," answered Zhu Su shortly.

It was quiet for a few moments. The palace garden was only filled with the sound of water drops falling from the melting snows on the trees.

"I deeply regret what I have done."

Zhu Su, who initially responded to Zhu Yunwen's every word indifferently, soon turned his face to look at him as he was very surprised by his nephew's statement.

"It is true. I deeply regret what I have done. If only I had not implemented the Politics of Xuefan, you would not have to suffer in Yunnan, Twelfth Uncle would not have died, and Fourth Uncle would not have taken up arms and fought me until I am oppressed and defeated as it happens right now."

Zhu Yunwen's eyes were glazed. It was obvious that he really regretted his decision.

"When I saw the twins' bodies coming out from the Empress' womb, at that time I have fully realized - I need a family so much. I, and all of my uncles, we have the same blood flowing inside our bodies. And, instead of maintaining a beautiful and harmonious family, I... just to maintain my power... I then go crazy by destroying these sacred blood ties."

Zhu Yunwen looked up, staring at the winter blue sky which was filled with grey clouds.

"Actually, what is the most important thing in this world'? Is it throne and power? Is it wealth, and domination? Or, is it peace, harmony, compassion, and love? My dream is to become a wise and great emperor, to become the emperor who can advance my country, and help this country live in prosperity. But, out of my expectation... I have taken the false path all this time. I think I am right, but evidently, I am wrong... totally wrong. I even commit a sin towards my savior. Fifth Uncle, you don't hold a grudge against me, and instead, you heal me. I... regret it, so much..."

Zhu Yunwen's voice got sealed in his throat.

"But, can I turn back time? Hostilities have been formed, war drums have been beaten. My mistake... can't be fixed anymore..."

Zhu Su gazed fixedly at his nephew who lowered his eyes in sorrow and regret.

"It is true. All of these, can't be fixed anymore. You have already fought this war for more than three years. The damage which has been created is too severe, its physical devastation is so grievous, not to mention the psychological damage."

Zhu Yunwen gazed back at Zhu Su, bewildered.

"It is useless to assure you," Zhu Su said seriously. "Not everyone can forgive easily, moreover if he is so close to victory. Brother Di's mindset is very different with mine. He is assertive, strong-willed, and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. He is an opponent destined to win, not to lose. Life is a matter of commitment. The matter of being solace to take any consequences. Nothing is important about right or wrong here. The most important is, you have no regret for whatever happens in the future. If you are determined with the path you take, you are satisfied with it whatever it takes, then although you get the worst result, you still assume it as the best result. This is your own choice. And, this is the consequence that you must endure. Take the consequence with solace, therefore, no matter how bad the result is, in your opinion, it will always be the best result."

Zhu Yunwen listened to Zhu Su's every word in earnest.

"And, the same with me. It has been the consequence that I must take in life." Regardless because of this, I am then scolded by Brother Di as the one who doesn't deserve to be a member of the Ming Imperial family. "I am fed up with politics. In politics, right can be wrong, and wrong can be right. Whoever wins the war, he will write the history that the loser is the Evil although the reality is not as such. Are you an evil person? Not really. Are you a good person? Not exactly. You are a political figure, it is difficult to say whether you are good or evil. So, in my opinion, despite every step you have taken, you have to be satisfied with it. Because this unchangeable decision will end in good result if you walk on it with a positive mind."

"Fifth Uncle... would you like to tell me, what are you going to do after this?"

"Write down The Prescriptions for Universal Relief."

Zhu Su answered it with determination. Meanwhile, Zhu Yunwen gawked.

"Fifth Uncle... you really want to become a medical expert?!"

"Yes." Zhu Su nodded. "And this is the life choice which becomes the consequence I should take. Whatever kind of result I will get, I am ready for it. Because it matters to my inner voice. Everything will be very beautiful in my own view. This is my passion, it is undeniable, and I will fight for it till the end."

It was true. Now, he chose to focus on what his deepest conscience dreamed of, as Gao Qing suggested.

After all, these were not a childish dream, not like what the negative feelings in his mind always accused. This was precisely the noblest ideals of any life purposes ever existed in his life.

Zhu Su smiled broadly, staring at the sun happily.

"Wonderful," Zhu Yunwen muttered. "Wonderful. Fifth Uncle, I have made a big mistake by misjudging you. Apparently you possess such a very noble purpose, it even surpasses the dreams of other Ming royalty - to help the humankind get free from the suffering of illness. I wish you good luck. And... I hope that I have the opportunity to live a long life and see you complete that book."

"You will live a long life, I am sure of it."

"That matter," Zhu Yunwen sighed. "Nobody will ever know."