Chapter 349

The next few nights after they first lay together, Brain and Zesshi did not sleep with the fire between them, however nor did they lie together as lovers. They might have, but on her first night of recovering from her neck wound, as Zesshi lay out their bedrolls and placed his and her own side by side, no sooner had Layali gone to sleep than the small girl shot up to a seated position, bawling and crying out.

"It won't stop! It won't stop! It won't stop!" She flailed with her eyes wild and wide, her little arms reaching for nothing and breathing hard, and when she realized she was fine, she looked over toward where Zesshi and Brain were rising and said, "Can I sleep with you… I had a nightmare…"

"Yes." The two said without hesitation, and they inched themselves apart while Layali got up, holding her bedroll in her arms, and flopping it down between the warriors before sliding herself down into it again. She then reached over and took Brain's arm and flopped it over her chest, before repeating the Process with Zesshi's, and said with a sniffle, "Now I can sleep."

'If only we didn't have to tell her… it wasn't that long ago that she was suicidal… she didn't want to live and had nothing to live for… death was her final escape from harm and we had to take it from her…' It was hard for Brain not to feel guilty about that, and his resolve grew to make sure she was dropped off safely as soon as possible.

For the next few nights, Layali slept between them when she slept at all, and she remained closer to them than usual. On the fourth day when they saw the town growing larger in their view, she looked up at Brain who rode behind her, and over at Zesshi who rode at his side, she said…

"Please."

That was all.

They didn't have to ask her what she meant.

They said nothing at all.

The horse's hooves were the only sound between the two, neither Brain nor Zesshi felt much like speaking, nor could they look at her, so they looked ahead.

An hour later when they could hear the noise of the bustling, growing town, Layali pressed herself back against Brain's chest. "Please." She begged and her hands grasped the mane of the horse hard enough to turn her fingers white.

They rode in through the gate unopposed, and again neither of the pair had an answer. Brain clenched his jaw, and out of the corner of his eye he could see that Zesshi was preparing herself for the same thing, her jaw set and fingers tense around the pommel of her horse.

"I don't want to." Layali whimpered. "I don't want to… doesn't that matter… it didn't matter to Master Cerebrate… but I thought it mattered to you… please… please…" She whispered.

"Brain… Zesshi… don't make me…" She asked again.

The orphanage was a fairly obvious building, a sign with a picture of a child next to a house.

Brain slid off the back of his horse, and Zesshi dismounted. Even to themselves, their movements were stiff, and bodies felt heavy, they moved sluggishly while reaching for her.

"No! I won't go! I don't want to be left here! I don't like this place!" Layali shouted and clutched the white hairs of the horse's mane between her fingers. "I don't! I don't wanna!" She screamed as Brain pulled her from it. He clutched her against his chest while Zesshi bound the horses outside.

"I'm sorry… but this is just too dangerous… the ones who came after Zesshi will try again… you'll get hurt, maybe worse… I'll… I'll come back." Brain promised as he whispered into her ear, but the little half elf barely understood.

Her tiny fists and slender legs swung with fury. "Don't!" She cried out as Zesshi came close and stroked her head.

"It'll be okay… you'll get good food, we'll leave them with money to take care of you, plenty, you'll be all right, and we'll bring you Cerebrate's head on our way back… but… I'm hunted. Hunted by dangerous men, I got you hurt already, badly… I can't do anything…" Zesshi said, though her lip quavered as she said it.

"Be momma!" Layali screamed as she tried to fling herself back out of Brain's arms when she realized they were carrying her toward the door. "Brain can be pappa! I don't wanna not have either again! Please don't make me go! I don't wanna be here! I want Brain! I want Zesshi! I'll tend camp and cook and everything, just lemme stay!" Her face was red and tear streaked well before they made it through the door, but she lost the power of speech when she came in, and was reduced to choked sobs.

A matronly woman behind a desk in the open area, who had a cane leaning by her side, stood up when Brain and Zesshi entered. "What can I do for you? Are you dropping one off? Is she yours?"

Her voice immediately caused Brain and Zesshi to look sideways at one another, her face, lined with wrinkles and her hair grayed and done in a severe bun, was not made warmer by her business like expression.

"Yes. No. I mean… I found her… we've been taking care of her but… things happened, and I- we… we can't anymore." Brain explained while Layali's tears ran down his chest straight through his shirt.

"I see…" The old woman said and pursed her lips, "Would you care to make a donation then, if it isn't poverty driving you to leave her here that is."

"Will it go toward her care? We want her to be treated well." Zesshi said, and taking Layali from Brain's arms, she squeezed the girl once.

"Yes, of course." The old woman insisted, and Zesshi reached into her coinpurse to draw out a handful of gold coins.

The old woman sucked in her breath and the whites of her eyes grew when she saw the small fortune in the palm of the half elf.

The coins clinked as they fell into the old woman's hands and then disappeared into her own coinpouch.

"Alright… do you wish to say goodbye to the child? You may do so if you wish, but we recommend it be quick and that you leave immediately, a clean break, you know, it makes it easier for them to accept their circumstances." The old woman added.

"I'm sorry, goodbye, I thought we could take you to Arwintar at least… but it's too dangerous, you will get hurt…" Brain said and kissed her forehead. "I'll finish Cerebrate for you, I promise."

"If there were any other way… but I won't let them use you." Zesshi insisted. "I'm sure someone will pick a cutie like you up quickly, and you'll have a bed, and a roof, and an education, and food every day, and you won't have to worry about… about me screwing up anymore…" Zesshi blinked back tears as the old woman reached out and slowly enfolded her arms around the small half elf as Zesshi and Brain relaxed their hold on her.

"But… but I want you! I want you to be momma and papa… I want you! I don't want anyone else! Nobody else'll want a half breed! I don't wanna go unwanted! I don't wanna be here! Please! I love you… please don't leave me!" Layali began to howl as the old woman pulled her away while her arms flailed around, stretching out to grab for the two who let their arms slip away.

Layali wailed and kicked, "You'd, ugh… better go… this won't get easier if you… ah… stay…" The old woman said as she wrangled Layali like she'd done it a thousand times.

The elder pair retreated, backing away, their faces broken and red, they made it through the door and shut it just in time to cut off one final wail. "Momma! Papa! Come ba-"

"We did the right thing… she'd only suffer if we kept her… she'll understand that when she gets older." Brain said as he made his way back down the steps.

Zesshi put herself at his side, the screams were already diminishing behind them. 'I won't stop hearing those for a long, long time though, if I ever do.' She reflected, and then asked of Brain, "Maybe you're right. But am I supposed to feel this shitty about it?"

"If a man like me can… I expect so." Brain replied when they reached the horses.

They mounted the white steeds, and Brain reached down to grab for Layali, and found that she wasn't there.

"Right…" He murmured, and with that, they rode on in silence.