A Twist of Mind

My mind became very puzzled after that day. I kept myself in my room most of the time, talked less to everyone and my mind was often occupied with sadness during meals due to which my parents became worried. They didn't know how to ask me so they asked Shams to talk with me as I would only open up to him as I've been for years. 

I was in my room when I heard the door creak and Shams came in carefully.

"Ashma,...how have you been? I heard something is up with you again. What's up? You know you can tell me anything bothering you."

Taking my gaze slowly at his face, I noticed his forceful smile, upset eyes, and shaking hands as he was holding the pain inside he was feeling. He was a little nervous. I just couldn't see him like that anymore so I answered straightforwardly.

"Shams…You love me?"

Complete silence occupied my room. We became awkward with each other for a moment but then he became easy and admitted it.

"Yes. I do love you...for many years. I just couldn't get the courage to tell you because I knew you don't look at me with those eyes. But, I suddenly felt the urge to admit it today because I thought...if not today...I would lose you right before my eyes ....", he pathetically smiled, "How ironic! I guess it can't be helped. I know what your answer is already."

He finally confessed and lazily stood up. He got out of my room with ease but had a pitiful look on his face. I became guilty towards him as I couldn't return those feelings he had. I wept to my heart's extent after he went back. 

"Hic…sob…How…how can this happen?"

That night I could not fall asleep. So, I went out to have a stroll in the garden of my house to calm myself.

I sat under the moonlight with wandering thoughts, gazing at the moon until I realized someone was sitting beside me. 

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"The moment you sat."

"That long? You sure are something." I replied with a calm and depressed face with a pitiful smile.

It was Zaki. Somehow his appearance there comforted me. I remembered the time when he saved me for the first time, his bright lavender eyes that gave me hope upon gazing at them, his soft black hair whose beauty won't even fade in the night of the moonlight, his handsomeness in front of which the moon's beauty would fade and would grip my heart, and the rain that added into his charm. A strange sensation of peace would grip my soul whenever I was near him. The chaos, guilt, depression, gloom, and darkness all would fade away as they've never been. I loved that feeling. I was grateful and thanked him.

"Thank you".

"For what?"

"For always being there for me."

"You're welcome."

The moon was bright, the cool breeze was calmly touching our skins and plants were dancing under the moonlight. I asked Zaki what to do.

"Zaki?"

"Yes".

"What should I do? I am confused about something."

"Is it about Shams?"

"Wait, how come you know?"

"I just do."

"Yeah, you do know about everything", I pathetically smiled, "Then tell me, what should I do?"

"Give him a chance."

"What?"

"Yes."

"But I don't feel that way towards him."

"At least you'll feel less guilty after doing so."

After giving it a second thought, I did feel he was right. Because always Shams would do his best to look after me, comfort me during hard times, share his every tiny happiness with me, and take my every tiny bit of sadness away. That kind of man sure is difficult to find.

"I know. I know! But, it's just…" I burst into tears, "....very difficult…very…hic."

Zaki sighed heavily while facing the moon, closed his eyes for a brief moment and calmly opened them. He slowly glanced at me, stood up and faced me with one knee bent and the other on the ground. He started to gaze deep into my eyes with a serious, calm, and stern look. He put his index and middle finger on my forehead speaking some words which seemed ordinary but it was a riddle that I couldn't understand.

"Ashma. The time has come. Upon giving you the white rose, I take iris. The stars are dim. The night is dark. Lost deep in your eyes, only myself, I swear I see."

I started to feel dizzy and the world seemed to be spinning in front of my eyes.

"What's…what's happening? Za...Zaki? Zaki, I feel dizzy and my head hurts."

"It's alright. Everything will be fine."

I heard his words which faded slowly in my ears before I fainted.