Sleepless but tired
"WITH THE GUARD!!??" Charlotte Woods yelled , pacing around the room while the two girls sat on opposite couches . Mila sat up straight , unperturbed by her mother's rants while she looks at her sister hiss in pain . She has never experienced period pains because she has never had her periods . But Jasmine doesn't know that . Her mother has always said 'You are special , Mila . God just didn't want you to go through the suffering and endure the pain' , but that didn't comfort her . She didn't feel special . She felt abnormal and cursed .
She remembers when she was young , at the age of twelve and she was at the girls toilet with her friend . They have found another group of girls in the toilet there to accompany another girl who just got her periods at school . Mila had envied the support the girl got from the other girls . Some gave her hugs , chocolates and kisses on the forehead or cheeks . She envied the hugs and kisses more .
They had then all sat down and had an open conversation , since the teacher had let all the girls leave the class to go and support Mandy , who she remembers her name very well . The girl had cried so badly , but the other girls were there to comfort her . Such a tender group of girls at a young age , but it had all changed now .
They had a conversation and everyone in the group took a turn to share their first period stories and how freaked out they had been . And then came her turn , and she lied through her teeth. Sigh , that's where the lies had started . And where the distancing herself from the world and bottling up her feelings started too .
"Why the hell would you do that !?" Mila was pulled back to the present by her mother's loud yell . Jasmine was already sitting straight but you can see how she held her stomach below ; the feeling of pain clear on her face as she yells back ," Why would you ask me that ? I love him ! He loves me too and so please , get out of my business ." Jasmine threw herself back on the couch as she roughly wipes away her tears . "I don't want you to mess up with my relationship , just like how you did with yours and dad's ." She spoke in a shattering voice .
Mila felt sorry for her sister and the guilt came up . Nobody can tell her it's not her fault . If it weren't for her mother going to have an affair and get her , somethings would'nt have turned out the way they are now .
"And why shout at me only ? Mila fucked someone too . I'm not the only one who has lost her virginity without asking permission from you mom . I'm sorry I did not come and ask for the key of my own pussy !" Jasmine spoke . Mila frowned , the words were pretty harsh . Not the ones about her getting fucked too but how she spoke to her mother .
Her golden brown eyes turned to her mother who's eyes were filled with unshed tears . She felt so bad , for both of them , but what would she do ? Tell them that everything is going to be alright? Tell them they should just sit down and communicate it through? Well maybe the latter could be it , but she doesn't feel like communicating and she only wants her questions answered , not to sit down and talk about who has bothered who and how , what why and what words did the other say .
"I'm sorry . You know what , live your life . Both of you . Live your own lives ." Their mother threw her heads in the air . They both looked up at her while tears spilled down her cheeks , smearing her makeup ," I will not mess up any of your lives but I want you to know something , both of you," She points fingers at the two girls ," Once they have finally got what they wanted . They will discard you like trash ." With that said , their mother's heels clicked on the floor as she walked away .
The two girls sat in silent before Jasmine sighed and layed down on her back on the couch , facing the ceiling . "She is not my favorite person as for today , but I also do not hate her ." Jasmine's raspy voice spoke up .
Mila sighed tiredly . She desperately wanted to sleep but she does not have a wink of sleep to spare on her bed . She is sleepless but tired mentally .
"I don't know what to do ." Mila mutters under her breath absentmindedly as she looks down at her fingers .
Jasmine turns to look at her older sister ," Call him ?" She suggests even though that wasn't a topic open for suggestions . Jasmine looks back up at the ceiling , caressing her stomach as she speaks ," They always find a way to comfort you ."
Mila stands up , getting Jasmine to think that she was going to do that . " I'll search for a therapist or psychologist to help us all deal with this problem ." Mila said before she left .
"But I first need to get the money to hire one." Mila spoke as she walks down the hallway .