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The Married Life Of Immortals

{Disclaimer: The women in this book are highly dysfunctional and violent. If you are not a fan of Tsudere's and Yandere's, this might not be your cup of tea, and the MC is an asshole.} Bane Takashi is a criminal with a knack for getting into trouble—big trouble. After one too many bad choices and a whole lot of theft, he’s got half the world gunning for him. Just when things seem bleak, a mysterious transparent blue woman shows up claiming she's an AI from the future, sent to stop the world from going down the drain. Her solution? Bane has to let his current body die so he can jump into a game world, ten years before it even launches. When Bane wakes up in the game, he’s in the body of a 5-year-old, but with all his memories still intact. He's stuck on an island with the Village of Heroes at its heart. It's here that Bane starts mastering every type of magic, mysticism, and even some wild stuff like witchcraft and cultivation, all to gear up for the craziness that is Dominion Online. Things get even more chaotic when Bane meets a fiery woman who seems to have it out for him. But before he can even figure out what’s happening, she’s already planning their wedding! So now, Bane—an immortal human—and his equally immortal and chaotic elf wife are on a wild ride to save the world(s) from these big bads known as the Supreme Ones. His life might not be so bad if she was the only one, but his overwhelming personality ends up pulling a few more dysfunctional women into the mess. It’s a crazy, toxic, and chaotic adventure, and just because Bane’s being called a hero now doesn’t mean he’s leaving his criminal past behind.

Magic_ · Fantasia
Classificações insuficientes
107 Chs

Chapter 6: Constitution of a Cooked Noodle

Meanwhile, Bane followed the girl through the winding streets of the village. Despite its appearance, there was a sense of order and purpose to the place. They arrived at a modest house near the edge of the village, where the girl handed him a bundle of clothes.

"Here," she said. "These should fit you. Change inside, and then we'll find you something to eat."

"Thank you," Bane said, taking the clothes gratefully. He stepped inside the house and quickly changed, feeling a sense of relief as he covered his body. The clothes were simple but sturdy, made from a material that felt surprisingly comfortable.

Once he was dressed, Bane stepped back outside, where the girl was waiting. "I didn't catch your name," he said.

"Liana," she replied. "I'm one of the village scouts. It's my job to keep an eye on things and make sure everyone's safe."

"Just a scout? Since when can a scout move without making a sound?" Bane asked, and Liana gave him a narrow eyed look. She looked like she wanted to scold him for being stupid, but then stopped herself.

Liana had been watching this village for over twenty years, and there had never been any visitors that weren't experts or heroes. Now, she had been turned into a child and a new face had appeared that seemed completely oblivious to everything.

"It is the result of training your mind and body. Getting rid of extra movements, feeling the flow of the air, tapping into immense strength, all things

that come with years of practice and discipline. But right now, our focus is on you and what you might bring to our village," Liana said, her tone softening slightly.

Bane nodded, feeling a mix of gratitude and unease. He had so many questions about this world and its inhabitants, but he knew he needed to be patient. "I appreciate your help, Liana. I'll do my best to fit in and contribute."

Liana gave a small smile. "Let's start by getting you something to eat. Follow me."

As they walked through the village, Bane noticed more children, all moving with the same fluid grace and alertness as Liana. It was clear that these kids were not ordinary, despite their appearance. The village seemed to have a strange mix of innocence and deadly skill, an unsettling combination that made Bane's situation even more confusing.

They arrived at a communal dining area where several other children were already eating. Liana handed Bane a bowl of stew and some bread. "Eat up. You'll need your strength."

Bane took the food gratefully and sat down at a table. The stew was delicious, warm and hearty, and he realized how hungry he had been. The food in his last life was good, but lately Bane had been doing more running than eating. It was kind of nice to know that the people back on Earth that wanted to kill him were long gone, and he felt like he could enjoy his meal, mostly. As he ate, he couldn't help but feel the eyes of the other children on him. Whispers circulated, and he caught fragments of their conversations—curiosity, suspicion, and a hint of fear.

"Who is he?"

"Where did he come from?"

"Do you think he's dangerous?"

"Dangerous? He has no Aura, weak magic, and the constitution of a cooked noodle!"

"Ah, you are right. I just assumed that he would be strong like everyone else.

Bane tried to ignore the murmurs and focused on his food. Liana sat across from him, watching him with a mixture of curiosity and caution. "You must have a lot of questions," she said after a while.

Bane nodded. "Yeah, I do. But I don't even know where to start. What is this place, exactly? And why is everyone here a kid?"

Liana sighed. "This is the Hidden Heroes Village, a sanctuary for those who have achieved great things or possess extraordinary abilities. Until recently, we were all adults, seasoned adventurers who had retired here to live in peace. But something happened—something that changed us into children and altered the world around us."

Bane frowned, processing this information. "So, you were all turned into kids against your will? Do you have any idea who or what did this?"

Liana shook her head. "No, we don't. It happened suddenly, without warning. One moment, we were our usual selves, and the next, we found ourselves in these young bodies. And it's not just us. The landscape around the village has changed too. Entire regions have disappeared or transformed according to other scouts."

Bane felt a chill run down his spine. He knew these people were all supposed to be computer programs, but these people all felt so real. This world was more mysterious and dangerous than he had imagined. "And the old man—Bilgarth, I think his name was—he's the only one who didn't change?"

Liana nodded. "Yes. Bilgarth retained his original form, but he's as confused as the rest of us. He's our leader, and he's doing his best to keep things under control, but we're all struggling to adapt. Everything just happened."

Bane finished his meal and leaned back, trying to piece everything together. "It sounds like you need all the help you can get. I don't have any special abilities, but I'll do my best to contribute."

Liana smiled faintly. "We appreciate that. Everyone here has a role to play, and we'll find a place for you too."

Just then, a commotion outside drew their attention. Bane and Liana rushed to the door to see a group of children gathered around a boy who was limping and covered in dirt.

"Liana! It's Ezio!" one of the kids called out.

Ezio stumbled forward, clearly exhausted. "I found something. You all need to see this," he panted.

Liana moved to support Ezio, her face full of concern. "What is it, Ezio? What did you find?"

Ezio looked up, his eyes dark and intense. "There's a massive structure in the forest—a temple or fortress of some kind. It wasn't there before. And it's guarded by creatures I've never seen. We need to investigate."

Bane felt a surge of adrenaline. This was it—a chance to prove himself by doing what he did best and find out more about this strange world. "I'll go with you," he said, stepping forward, but then a deep voice made everyone stop. Bane turned back to see the old buff grandpa and a little blonde girl with a white dress, glasses, and pointy ears.

"You don't need to worry about this. If Ezio came back like this, you would be just heading to slaughter," Bilgarth said as he walked up to the group, and then pointed to the little girl with him. "You can go with Lysia. While she may look like a normal elven scholar, Lysia is a Grandmaster Alchemist and Botanist, a Grand Arch Priest of the 9th Tier, and finally, a Grand Arch Wizard of Astral Magic of the 7th Tier."

Bane just stared at the girl with a shocked expression. While he understood that this person, and the others of this world had experience beyond their physical age, this was bananas. Just how long would it take one to get to whatever all the titles were? So many grand titles made Bane feel like that this little girl was just as dangerous as the old man!

Unsure of how to greet the girl, and not wanting to offend her, Bane bowed to the girl. He was not below this because he was becoming very aware of the massive gap in power between himself and everyone else.

"There is no need to bow to me, yet. I have not taught you anything worth thanking me for," Lysia said with a strange smile that twisted her features in a sadistic way. Though, when Bane lifted his head, her face had returned to nervous innocence.

'This person is just as dangerous as you assume she is, and something tells me you are not going to like what happens next,' Eve said from within Bane's mind, making a cold sweat start to form on this back again as he looked at the sweet little girl that was a bit shorter than him.

'Is there any way that I can get away?' Bane asked, but Eve's laughter shut him down.

'You are in the Village of Heroes, and very soon, everyone is going to find out that they are on a large island in the middle of the ocean. Not only that, but they will find out later there is a barrier that seals everyone in. This area is a special hidden area that can only be accessed after doing a series of kingdom quests, and everything on this island is extremely powerful. It was a place that only one person had ever visited, but was killed shortly after arriving. According to the forms, the death restarted the quest, and the person gave up on it. No one else bothered to try completing it because of other things that happened before any players could become strong enough to challenge it.'

While Eve was explaining the death trap Bane had landed in, Lysia grabbed his hand with a smile and began pulling him along. Bane wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry at this moment. He wanted to curse out loud for his garbage luck, but the feeling the kids around him gave him made Bane just keep his mouth shut for now.