Chapter 3 • ◇ • To Kill An Octopus

"Wait, WHAT!?"

Sae Okudera screeched at the top of her lungs in protest. "ĪE! No way!"

A yellow, walking octopus wearing a graduation cap and a scholar's robe shook his tentacles wildly. "Come on, Okudera-san! For everyone present, please be the other target?"

Okudera shifted her gaze towards the people in the room:

Tadaomi Karasuma, a black-haired man in a suit working for Japan's Ministry of Defense. Usually blunt and unwavering, he is a man full of professionalism, expertise in combat, and military prowess turned PE teacher educating the Class 3-E students on how to "assassinate" a Mach-20-speed, idiotic, voracious, perverted, yellow octopus.

Irina Jelavic, a buxom blondie whose attitude bestowed to her the handle: "Bitch-sensei". She wears a white blazer over a black tank top and white pencil skirt; the very former holding one button to expose the cleavage on her ample chest. Initially hired by the Ministry of Defense as an assassin to kill the aforementioned octopus, she now teaches English to the aforesaid children.

And rather sloppily too. Emphasis on "sloppily".

...not that kind.

Lovro, a mysterious black-haired man from who-knows-where donning an unbuttoned black coat over a black suit, a pair of black pants, and black leather shoes. He used to be an assassin before he retired, and now, he tutors orphans, turning them into fully-fledged assassins. He was Irina's teacher and father figure. And it just so happens that he visited her in the middle of her work, greeting her with a snare trap to the neck.

That was amusing. For Lovro, not Irina.

And finally, Koro-sensei, a yellow bulbous octopus in an academic frock: the said target of the entire operation. Hasty, intelligent, and has a knack for cleansing his assailants, this questionable creation of Mother Nature and science urged the Japanese government to let him teach the entirety of Class 3-E in the condition that those same children will be taught assassination skills, all in the name of killing the yellow cephalopod.

And in comparison to them, Sae Okudera. A seemingly normal teacher with black hair wearing a gray suit over a maroon sweater, a grey pencil skirt, and black heels. She teaches Class 3-E, a decrepit classroom where the worst students are placed. At least, according to the school system. The pupils of this class face humiliation from the other classes since the school, Kunogigaoka, ranks its students based on academic success.

Now that's enough exposition. As for the context of current events...

"You're not the only one being forced into this, Okudera-san," Karasuma explained, "It's a simple proposition. We're the targets of Irina and Lovro. Irina tries to take me down, while Lovro goes after you. Whoever 'assassinates' their target first wins."

Okudera points her finger at him in objection. "Simple, my ass! The old man is coming after me! You're not objecting because Irina is after YOU!"

"Oi, wait a minute, are you calling me—"

She turns to point at the xanthanochrome octopus, interrupting the blonde. "And you! This was your idea, to begin with!" The black-haired girl fell to her knees, tears comically dripping on her face. "Why me? I'm too weak to defend myseeeeeeeeelf..."

Koro-sensei placed a tentacle on her shoulder. "Don't worry about protecting yourself, Okudera-sensei. Let the negative aura around you do that." He opens the window beside them to let in some fresh air.

"...Eh? Wait, you mean..."

"Your bad luck," Koro-sensei clarified, "Oddly, it influences everything around you in a physical way. Not only you are affected, but so are the people near you as well."

Okudera stared at him with an irritated look. "You're saying like that's a good thing."

The ever-grinning Sensei chuckled. "In this context, it's an advantage."

Lovro raised an eyebrow, slightly interested in their conversation. "What does the octopus mean by that?"

Irina frowned. "She has really bad luck, and it spreads like a plague—" At that moment, a baseball flies through the window near them at high speed, closely hitting the blonde's head. She looked outside to see some of the students playing baseball, and upon seeing her supposed assailants, she gritted her teeth in anger.

"OI!" Irina screamed at her pupils. "Are you trying to decapitate me!? You damn kids!"

One of the said kids, a black-haired boy with dark eyes, looked at her. "Gomenasai, Bitch-sensei! A stray bird knocked the ball towards you."

She writhed in annoyance.

"Naruhodo." He takes a rubber knife and tests its edge with a finger. "A sham assassination, eh?"

He smirks, giving off an air of confidence. Upon seeing his expression, Irina's confidence plummets. "Alright. Sounds like a fun diversion. A bit more interesting this time."

Karasuma sighed. "Suit yourself."

The two men walked away in opposite directions, leaving the two women and the octopus in the hallway.

Irina turned to Koro-sensei, clearly vexed. "Are you trying to stick up for me? You must think I'd be much easier to handle than any new assassin Lovro-sensei would bring in!" She clenched her fists in anger. "I'll kill Karasuma AND you myself! Just you wait!"

She storms off angrily in Lovro's direction, leaving Koro-sensei with Okudera. Said cephalopod hummed, rubbing his non-existent chin.

The woman sighed. "I wish Aguri was here. This is too much..."

"Hai, me too."

Okudera whipped her head towards the octopus. She did NOT expect to hear that.

"Koro-sensei..."

The yellow being, realizing his slip of the tongue, tried to cover it up... though he was bad at it. "Uh, I... I, uh... YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY—"

"Yes, I did."

Koro-sensei tensed. Seeing that he stopped talking, Okudera decided to pry.

"How do you know Aguri Yukimura?"

There was no way to dodge the question other than to run. And he knew that hightailing leads to more questions. So with a sigh, he confirms the woman's suspicions.

"She was a friend," the octopus answered sadly, "I came to teach as per her request upon her... disappearance. She is why I am here today. A promise."

Okudera frowned. "Disappearance? Is she really...?"

Koro-sensei gazed at her with a serious expression. "Hai. I'm very sorry. I couldn't save her."

The woman balled her hands, tears about to well up in her eyes. More questions start to pile up in the woman's mind. "What happened to her?"

He closed the open window nearby. "I can't answer your questions for the time being, but..." The cephalopod put a tentacle on her shoulder in an attempt to reassure her. "I promise that I will answer them in the future. Trust me on this."

It was hard for the woman to take in, but she understood his request. So she nodded, wiping the tears away with her sleeve.

"Hai, hai, I'll hold you to that," Okudera said with a sigh, still somber, "I'll... go gather my thoughts. You promise?"

"You know I keep my word," he said, "Otherwise, I wouldn't be here right now."

She chuckled lightly, still sad, but felt more at ease. "Arigatou, Koro-sensei." The woman bowed, and then, she turned to leave. Once she was out of eyeshot, Koro-sensei looked out the window towards the children playing outside.

The teacher let out a sigh.

• ◇ • ◇ • ◇ • ◇ • ◇ •

"Daijōbu, Irina-san... It's only the middle of the day..."

Irina's "attempt on Karasuma's life" failed, and so miserably, too. Who knew seducing a colleague was hard?

You couldn't solicit a person who knows you too well, after all.

"I'm gonna be beat..." The blonde could only sulk in her chair.

"Hai, hai, don't worry! It's gonna be fine!" Okudera picked up a box filled with paper. "You still have time!"

Karasuma, a few feet away in his office, continued to type away on his laptop. "Not enough, however," he reminded. The black-haired girl frowned.

"Mō, look at you being so arrogant!" Okudera uttered sarcastically, "Irina's trying her best, okay, so shut up!"

The man rolled his eyes and went back to typing.

Koro-sensei, who was beside Irina, chuckled. "All in a day's work, I suppose."

"You're not helping. Hmph." The black-haired teacher grumbled, walking towards the door. Upon coming close to exiting, however, the door swings open, and Lovro jumps at her, rubber knife in hand.

Okudera would've been hit by the knife right then and there, were it not for a single pencil on the floor that she tripped on upon staggering back on impulse. As a result, the swing was avoided, causing Lovro to hit nothing but air, and the momentum, aided by a single stray piece of paper, caused the former assassin to trip and roll towards the window.

CRASH!!!

The window gave way for Lovro's body to sprawl all over the courtyard. In some sort of twisted comedic fashion, he lay there, covered in dust and possibly concussed. The man groaned in pain as he tried to stand up. Key word being tried, as his attempts to stand up, failed, prompting him to sit on the dirt instead.

"Lovro-san... daijōbu desu ka?" Okudera looked out of the window and called out, "Should I get Koro-sensei?"

"Ngh... īe..." He gazed at her defeatedly, "No need. Although... agh... everything hurts..."

Karasuma stood up, brutally staring in the blonde's direction. "I'm sure you know. If you fail to kill me today..."

Koro-sensei and Irina were terrified of the male's expression. Oddly enough, the cephalopod hid behind her, as if the threat was coming for him instead.

"Why are you scared?" the woman asked sharply.

Koro-sensei shivered. "You can't lose, Professor Irina! Do your best!"

Karasuma started to walk away, sheer arrogance evident in his movement. "My knife can stab five times in one second," he said evenly. Then, he smiled faintly. "I can't wait."

The octopus was sweating badly, but he could only watch the military man leave the room.

"LOVRO-SENSEI!" Irina, now with a face of worry, rushed to Okudera's side. "You're hurt!"

In response, the man smiled bitterly. "I suppose I can't kill her like this—not today."

"Ah!" Koro-sensei appeared next to him quickly, dressed in a cheerleader's outfit and shaking wildly. "A-Akiramenaide! You can do it—yes, yes, you can! HAI!"

"Even if I could nail this, Koro-sensei, I still couldn't kill you," Lovro replied dully, staring at the octopus, "My experience makes that clear. The same goes for Irina."

The blonde in question tensed, hanging her head in shame.

"Sōdesu ka. Then you've given up," Koro-sensei said. Then he appeared behind Irina and rested a tentacle on her shoulder. "But! Watch Professor Irina through to the end!" A crossbones skull showed on his forehead. "Experienced or not, she's killed the most prominent targets."

Lovro stood up to leave, his legs somewhat recovered. "Hm. Whatever you like." And with that, he staggered away, out of view.

"You really think I can hit Karasuma with my knife?" the buxom blonde asked uncertainly. Koro-sensei nods and moves in front of her.

"Of course," the octopus confirmed.

"I don't know what you learned before from your teacher," Okudera added, shutting the window, "but here, I know you've been working hard on many things!"

"That's right! For example..." The lemony cephalopod leaned down and grabbed a magazine. "This lingerie you ordered yesterday! Now THAT'S making an effort!"

It was a full-page spread of different sexy lingerie, with one of the pink bras circled with a red marker. Okudera and Irina gasped, exasperated.

"YOU OCTOPERV!!!"

Koro-sensei ignored the women's outrage, chuckling a bit before becoming serious again. "Show them what you can do. Karasuma-sensei, your teacher, and above all, your students."

Irina seemed to hesitate for a bit but ultimately nodded. "Hai. If you say so."

Okudera sighed. "Mō, you're a pervert, you know that?"

Koro-sensei laughed before slithering his way towards the door. "I have no regrets! Nuerehehehehehehe!"

• ◇ • ◇ • ◇ • ◇ • ◇ •

END