Chapter 7 – I’m Not a Cry Baby

Ellie

I woke up in the sound of my alarm clock ringing in my bed side table. I immediately open my eyes to check on Austin because if my mother would come up here and see him on my bedroom, I don’t think I could see the light of day. Last night, after Austin had fallen asleep on my floor, I drag him all the way to my bed just for him to get comfy and I don’t think I would ever find it any good if he got cold by just letting him sleep on the cold floor. It was hard to drag him on the bed because he was so heavy and I couldn’t even carry him because of my poor strength. After placing him on the bed, I took my spare bed covers on the closet and placed it on the floor for me to sleep on. It wasn’t really hard sleeping on the floor with my bed covers because my covers are soft and fluffy. I could sleep beside Austin but remembering the incident before make it uncomfortable to sleep beside him.

I got up from the floor and check on the bed to see it completely empty but it was neat. Austin must have fixed the bed after leaving. He didn’t even wake me up. There’s a sticky note in the pillow and I instantly took it for me to read, “I can’t remember how I got here, but I’m sure that it was because of the alcohol because my head still aches. Anyway, thank you for letting me sleep here. I’m a bit annoyed by the fact that you would rather sleep on the floor than sleep beside me. See you later. –A.”

A smile forms on my lips after reading the sticky note. It was funny that he finds it irritating that I would rather sleep on the floor than beside him. Well, he can’t blame me after the incident last time.

Usually, I woke up at six o’ clock in the morning but after the makeover thing, I always wake up at five thirty in the morning to do the girly thing. I know, it’s irritating and way to ruin the sleep when I should be still in bed. Sometimes, I recollect if I should still continue this charade because the only reason that I did this was to prove Austin that there is more to me and for Matt to notice me. But to my dismay, Austin prefers my look before, he didn’t even compliment on what I look now and Matt, on the other hand, notices me after I had done this which was a bit of a bummer because it made me think that, am I really that ugly that he couldn’t even notice me before?

It starting to make me feel that I shouldn’t continue this but if I really want to notice me, I should continue but why do I feel like I’m not even happy at all?

I head on the bathroom to take a bath, afterwards, I cover myself with my towel and get out to check on the closet. It always took me too long to figure out what to wear because my mind is dragging me to choose on the clothes that my girls decided to buy while my heart urges me to choose the clothes that I’m comfortable wearing. Should I or should I not? What’s the point of choosing when he already notice me anyway?

He may not notice you again.

Great, even my subconscious is playing on my head.

I sigh and diverted my attention to the off shoulder top which was navy blue. I took it out of the closet and matched it with the leggings that Casey always suggests that it goes with it. I let out a heavy breath and went to the mirror to apply make-up. This would take me a lot of time to finish. I’m not really a pro yet, that’s why it always makes it a challenge for me to do.

When everything is finished, I check on the clock to see that it’s already six thirty two in the morning. I took my bag and went downstairs for breakfast.

“Good morning mom.” I greeted her as soon as I saw her seated on the chair. Elliot was already seated across from her and he was eating his eggs and ham which I assume that my mom cooked for us.

She displays a smile on her face, “I will never get tired to see my beautiful girl like this.” My mother was surprised when she saw my transformation days ago and she says that she could have the daughter bonding time with me on the mall and on the parlor because of this so called change. I just nodded awkwardly but the moment I heard that from her, I was instantly on the verge to make up excuses so that I couldn’t go.

“I miss the old Ellie better.” Elliot says as his eyes stare at me when I sit down beside him. I agree with him, I miss the old Ellie better.

“It must be a boy.” My mom said, “You must be in love darling.” I look at her, it just makes my cheeks go red after hearing her say that.

“I don’t even like that guy for you Ellie.” Elliot said seriously.

I raise an eyebrow, turning my gaze at him, “What’s not to like? He’s the basketball’s team captain, smart, attractive, built body, a very kind person and—“ I look at my mom happily, “He’s really a nice guy.”

“Whoever he is, I would like to meet him.” My mother gushes, she sounded more excited than me.

Elliot hisses, “I don’t think he is special because a guy like him turn you into something like that—“ He deadpans, “I know that you don’t like turning into someone who you are right now because I know you, I am your brother, your twin brother, you don’t like what you look like now but you still try to deceive yourself into thinking that what you look like now is the best because he’ll notice you.” He laughs sarcastically, “Well guess what, he did notice you, just now! When you look like a goddess! Shouldn’t you go with someone who’ll accept who you are? And not just by how your appearance looks like.” Elliot’s words shot me in the chest, he’s right but I don’t think he has to say that to me in a blunt way. He doesn’t really know how I really feel. He does not know everything.

“I know you’re my brother and that you care for me! But I’m a girl and girls wear these things, wear makeup! I’m changing because I just want to be a girl for a change not because of him—“ It’s really because of him, but I just can’t stand Elliot talking to me this way.

“Want to change? Really?” He chuckles, later he looks at me seriously, “I know you Ellie, and I’m disappointed.”

“Please, stop fighting.” My mother cuts our conversation. “You shouldn’t be fighting, you’re siblings.” She looks at Elliot, “You should be happy to your sister, instead of telling her what to do, why don’t you just support her?”

Elliot let out a heavy breath and drops his utensils and stands up from the table, “I’ll head first.” He exited from the room and went out of the house, banging the door.

“Honey—“ My mom looks at me with worried eyes, I’m about to cry. Ever since when I’m a child, when I and Elliot fight, I couldn’t take it, it makes my heart crush into tiny pieces. We seldom fight and if we did, it just broke me, making me cry.

“I’ll follow ahead, bye mom.” I kiss her on the cheek and went out of the house to catch up with Elliot but he already left. He didn’t take the car, and he was already out of sight.

Who am I kidding? Everything that Elliot said was true. But he didn’t have to say that to me in a way that could hurt my feelings. He knows that I like Matt and he didn’t really reacted that way when I told that to him. What is the real reason why is he even acting like this anyway, he shouldn’t be like this.

I felt a tear escape from my eyes, I’m starting to cry like a baby but as soon tears escape, I immediately wipe them with my hands.

“Are you okay?” A familiar voice said from behind me.

I wipe the tears away and face the person, “I’m okay.” I nodded.

“You don’t look like it.” From the look of his face, it looks like he was worried. What he looks right now was different from what I saw last night. He looks attractive as always and the awfully drunken Austin was not evident on his appearance. His hair was a mess but it was his signature look that made it more attractive, he was wearing his white polo shirt that made his muscles evident—making girls drool over him. He’s Austin Prince, and he never fails to look attractive.

“Have you seen—“

“Elliot?” He continued.

I nodded and he sighs, “Did you two had a fight?”

Just remembering about it makes me cry, I can’t help it, I’m a cry baby. Tears started escaping from my eyes and instantly wipe them with my hands, “No—“

“No?” He chuckles, he touches my cheeks, wiping the tears, “Then why are you crying?”

“Yes.” I suddenly let it all out, I don’t care if I have a make-up, I just wanted to cry, I don’t like having a fight with my brother and by bottling this emotions make it more worse.

“Ella—everything is going to be fine.” He rubs my back, comforting me, “Maybe Elliot was just in a sour mood that he just vented his anger on you, whatever the fight was about.”

“He told me that Matt wasn’t good to me because he changed me—“ I said with my eyes still producing the tears, I know, I may look like a broken lady who just got fired from a job, lost her house and got divorced with his husband—because my face may look like it because I know the make-up is all ruined. That’s why I don’t really like make-up ever since when I was a child.

He didn’t respond but instead he took me in his arms, hugging me. It was another side of Austin that I haven’t seen before and it just made my heart skip a beat despite the fact that I was sad right now.

“Your shirt may get ruined if you continue this—“ I stutter, I can feel like I was about to finish crying because Austin made me feel better. It was odd for him to do this and was a bit of a change but seeing him turn into someone like this makes me happy.

“I don’t really care, I still look hot.” He implied. I started chuckling and shove him, escaping from the hug.

“You really don’t know when to shut up in moments like that.” I can feel a smile on my lips and he smiled back, “And you never fail to be such a crybaby.”

“I’m not a crybaby!” I glared at him, I started to wipe my face with my hands but I think I just made it worse after seeing that my hands have dirt on them because of the make-up.

“Here.” He handed me his handkerchief, “Just keep it.”

I shake my head, “It’ll have make-up all over it and if you do put it on laudry, it may never go away.”

“Then I don’t care as long as you used it.”

“But I can’t, it’ll get dirty and you don’t have one to bring with you.”

“Just take it Ella, you need it more than I do.” He smiles sincerely. Seeing him like that just made my heart flutter. This can’t be happening to me.

I took it from his hand, and wipe my face with it, “Thank you.”

“You’re always welcome.” He stares at me while I attempt to remove the make-up all over my face, I think it’ll do because my face is wet because of the tears and I think it could help remove it but I should have a mirror with me. He took the handkerchief from my hand, “Come closer.” He says.

I didn’t move so instead, he walks closer to me, staring at my face. He takes a hold of my jaw as he try to remove the make-up on my face, “I know that you feel bad because you must have spent a lot of time doing this—“

“I don’t. I’ll just re-apply it later in school.”

Our close proximity, and the way he touches me just made my heart want to jump from my chest. I mean, look at this, the popular and hot guy who happens to be my neighbor and used to be my number one enemy is comforting me and now, he’s helping me remove the make-up on my face. Any girl would be jealous of me right now.

“Why?” He asks as he continues to remove the dirt, as soon as he’s finish he handed me the handkerchief and continued, “You’re already beautiful. You don’t really need one.” And that my friends just made my heart jump like a kangaroo. “Let’s go to school, I’ll give you a ride.” He turns his back as he made his way towards his car. Austin Prince, what the hell are you doing to me?

--

I made my way to our table, it’s already lunch time. I haven’t seen Casey and Lila because I don’t have any classes with them during the morning periods so it’s only now that I’ll be able to see him. I haven’t seen Elliot yet and I was hoping that I could talk to him.

The moment I sat on the table, Casey turns to face me but I knew that her attention was drawn to my face with no make-up. “What happened to that face of yours?” She raises an eyebrow.

Lila pops out her head, leaning on Casey’s shoulder and looks at me, “The clothes are great, but why did you decided to not put on make-up?”

I sigh, “I had one this morning but—“

Casey interrupts me, “Did Austin did something about it?” She looks mad and I know that because she knows that Austin usually irritates me and even pulls a prank on me before and whenever something is wrong, she knows who to blame but this time, it was different. Austin is the one who helped me.

I shake my head, “No—“

“Then what?!” She snaps.

The moment she ended her words, the guys arrived on our table with Elliot and Austin. I glance at Elliot’s direction and he still has a serious look on his face. I know that he is troubled, he never pulls a face like that in front of our friends and I knew that it was because this morning. I and Elliot seldom fight and if we did, I ended up crying and him, on the other hand, ended up being a serious old grand pa who you couldn’t even talk to and if you ever did make him smile or try to pull a prank on him, I don’t think you’ll ever see the light of day.

“Sup’ girls.” Ivan sat across me and places the tray on the table. Ace gives me his smile and sat down beside Ivan. Alex and Carl followed and then Elliot sits down beside Alex, which was farther from my seat and Austin, sits down beside me.

“I don’t want to talk about it Casey.” I said, avoiding her gaze and directed my attention to my food.

“El, do you want to talk about it outside?” Casey suggests, she started to worry.

I shake my head, “Let’s talk later.”

She brushes it off immediately and continue talking to Lila. The guys were talking about their upcoming game next month and how the coach was pushing them hard. Elliot on the other hand, has his eyes directed on his phone and his food.

“Don’t think about it too much, he’ll probably come knocking on your room later and tell you that he was sorry.” Austin suddenly speaks in a soft tone, making it for only two of us to hear.

“He’ll probably lock up on his room and not talk to me.” I guess he’ll do that because with the look on his face, he does not plan to apologize.

He sighs and looks at me, “I know Elliot, he’s a forgiving person and I sure do know that he loves his sister than himself, so he wouldn’t be that selfish.”

“And how do you know that?” I raise an eyebrow.

He chuckles, “Because he’s over protective of you and he usually says to us guys that we should stay away from you or even dare like you because you’re his sweet little sister and if we ever want to date you, we should probably ask his permission first before we ask you out.” Did Elliot really say that to him?

“Really?”

“And whenever you play your favorite sport and you have a competition to play, he usually shouts out your name and call out loud that ‘she’s my twin sister’.” He says mimicking how Elliot says it but in a soft tone of voice.

“Austin—“

“And he usually says that he loves having your around when you were kids because you’re his only playmate and he even realize that instead of having your way when you were still kids, I mean like instead of playing girly stuffs, you try to learn and play the games that he plays so that you could bond and play the same game together, I mean, he really loves and appreciates it.”

I’m thinking of crying because everything that Austin says to me about what Elliot tells about me touches my heart, “Austin—“

He interrupts my conversation again, “I mean, he shares it to me because I am his best friend, I also remember the fact how you love the stars because he says that both of you loves to star gaze at night, after both of your parents tuck you in and closes the door, both of you will head in the window and gaze at the star—I think that is his favorite memory.”

I can feel a tear escape from my eyes, I instantly wipe them with my hand, “So if you say so that he’ll ignore you, then why don’t you just confront him now and talk to him?” He says with a smile on his face.

I nodded and stand up from my table, I immediately sit down beside Elliot, my eyes started to produce tears again, “I’m sorry.”

Elliot notices me and immediately frowns, “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry if it made you upset.”

“Ellie, it’s not your fault.”

“I don’t want to have a fight with you.”

“Ellie, it’s my fault. You don’t have to say that, I’m sorry, I was just being overprotective that I didn’t notice that I was becoming a douche.” He wipes the tears from my eyes and wraps his arms around my shoulders, “C’mon, stop being such a crybaby.”

“I’m not a crybaby.” I glared at him.

He chuckles and started to ruin my hair by messing it with his hand, “You are.”

“I think that I could finally breathe!” Ivan interrupts, “I couldn’t handle the silent Elliot.”

Ace started laughing, “Ellie, your brother has been in a foul mood this morning and the only reason he was like that was it’s either he has been dumped but he didn’t have any girl he asks out so it’s a no or because he had a fight with his little sister which was you.”

“What can I say?” I started laughing removing the tears from my face, “My brother loves me that much.”

“Ew.” He cringes, “Get away from me, we’re being too sweet, my man-less attitude may let the girls avoid me.” He instantly removes his arms around me and smiles to me instead, “Let’s just forget about what happened this morning.”

“Sure do twinsee!” I chuckled and he glared, “Stop calling me that.” He said annoyingly.

I went back to my seat which was in between Austin and Casey, “So the reason you don’t have make-up was because of you crying over Elliot?” She says laughing. Casey knew the thing about me crying whenever I and Elliot had a fight and sometimes I just don’t want to tell her that because she’s making me look like a crybaby.

“No—“ I deadpan. “I had to uhm—that—“

“Stop explaining yourself, we already caught you red handed.” Lila chuckles.

I hiss and they just continue to tease me.

I ignored them and directed my attention to Austin, “Thank you.” I smiled.

“No problem cupcake.” Austin winks at me playfully.

And by the simple gesture, it made my stomach twirl. Austin was making me feel all different things all in the same time and it’s making me insane. I don’t like Austin, I like Matt so heart, please stop it.

“Looks like queen bee is here.” Alex signals.

I turn to the direction where he’s looking and Alexandra was about to go on our table with her best friend Charlotte, who is just as mean and rich as she. They were like the perfect best friends because they think alike and have the same interests. But Alexandra is more attractive than Charlotte that makes her the queen bee.

I rolled my eyes, “Guess that she’s here for Austin.” I said bitterly. Did I just say that out loud?

“Is someone getting jealous?” Carl questions.

“It seems to me that someone is getting jealous.” Ivan hollered.

“I’m not.” I said annoyingly.

“Then why do you sound so bitter?” Alex implied.

“I just feel bad for Austin because he has to kept his composure even if he dislikes her, I mean she practically rape him yesterday.” Just remembering how Austin told me that yesterday in a drunken state was priceless.

“What?” Casey eyes widen.

“What do you mean Ellie?” Elliot asks with questionable look.

“Ella, what the hell are you saying?” Austin suddenly looks at me with a surprise look. Don’t tell me he does not remember a single thing.

“Last night! You told me that the queen bee raped you and glad that you were not turned on by her that’s why she lets you off the hook.” I tried to make him remember but his expression was somehow confused.

“What!?” Everyone in our table started laughing, “So she’s not that hot, is that what you’re implying?” Carl asks, laughing non-stop.

“Austin!” I glared at him.

“I can’t remember that I said that!” He says with a confused look, “And why would I let a girl raped me?” He cringes, and the boys in our table started laughing.

“Because you also said that you were bothered by the fact that the girl you like was asked out by the boy she likes?” I said, trying to push him to remember.

“I don’t remember a single thing.” He scratches the back of his neck, “Must be the alcohol.”

“You mean you didn’t remember that the bitch queen bee Alexandra rape you when you’re not turned on by her?” The moment I said that, everyone fell into silence. I turn to look at every one in the table and their eyes are at Alexandra’s who is now standing in front of our table.

“Excuse me?” She has her eyebrows raise, “Did you just call me a bitch?”

What the actual fudge!

I think I just dug my own grave and no one is helping me escape it right now. Damn Austin and his poor memory!

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