Chapter 13 – I’m A Douche

Ellie

The least thing that I want my brother to see is me being with someone having sex or being with that particular someone in an inappropriate position. Now that he had seen me in this position, a lot of things must have been circling inside of his head right now.

His face was indescribable, I don’t know if he’s confused or mad but it felt like both. He closes his eyes for a matter of seconds before he finally opens them again and shot us a look.

“Aren’t you going to move?” He said in the calmest way possible.

It is only now that we realize that we hadn’t move an inch when we saw him at the door with a displeased reaction.

I instantly get up from the awkward position and Austin quickly stands up with his face red because of embarrassment, I know that he’s probably ashamed with what my brother just saw right now. Especially whenever I think that he just saw his sister on top of his best friend in the most awkward position possible.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Austin began, He scratches the back of his neck while he tried to avoid the sharp look that Elliot was giving to both of us.

“It’s not like we’re going to have any—“ Elliot cuts me off before I could even finish my sentence, “I don’t want to hear it.” He snapped, “I just want to forget that scene inside my head.”

He shakes his head in a disapproving way and started talking again, “And here I thought my sister was sick and Austin must have gone somewhere, skipping class because something must have been bothering him but I think my worries just instantly vanish by seeing you two getting so comfy.” He said in the fastest way possible and later add, “You know what, let’s just forget it.” He just said that like two times and yet he keeps on bringing it up.

“I was looking for you Austin, we have a practice today Mr. Team Captain,” He eyed Austin with a serious look, “So if you don’t want us to be scolded by our coach, I suggest we leave this instant before the practice starts at five.”

“Yes—“ Austin says nervously. It was the first time I’m seeing him so flustered and nervous in the same time but I actually find it amusing to look at.

“And you—“ Elliot shot me a look, “You have a lot of explaining to do when I got back home so I suggest that you prepare yourself.” He sighs, “Casey will be here later, she told me she’ll come by after school.” He finishes his sentence before he gets out of my room.

Austin lets out a loud breathe before he diverts his eyes at me, “So—“ He began to speak but it felt like he choke himself, “I have to go before your brother kicks me out himself.”

I laugh at his sudden remarks and he starts to smile, “See you later.”

“Yeah—see you. Good luck with the practice.” I replied smoothly.

He chuckles and started walking towards my door but before he could even step out, he finally finishes his words with, “I don’t need a good luck for the practice, I need a good luck with your brother.”

A smile forms in my lips and I can’t help but imagine what my brother will say and do to him, “Well. The best of luck then.” I chirped happily but he fake frowns before he could finally leave.

I can’t believe that just happened. But what if, just what if, we kissed? What would happen by then? Wait, Am I seriously thinking about this right now? No Ellie, snap out of it. You need to get Austin out of your mind and away from your heart before you can even get hurt.

“So—“ I was surprised to hear a familiar voice who is now standing in my bedroom door, “You and Austin?” She eyes me suspiciously, with a brown bag at hand and her bag slung on her shoulder.

Wait, I thought she’ll come by after school, what is she doing this early and now that I realize it, why did Elliot got home so fast? School ends at four thirty. The time right now is just four o’ clock.

“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows were furrowed, acting like I was confused but really, why did she knows all of this, I mean, she just got here right?

“The moment I barged on your house because no one seems to be home, I was on the stair case, listening to Elliot’s frustrations.” She closes the door behind her as she got in and shot me a look, “And then Elliot went down with Austin behind him and they were talking about the awkward incident of you being on top of him.” She plops down on my chair which is always placed in front of my study table and places the brown bag and her bag on the table.

“Spill.” She demanded. She’s my bestfriend and she never fails to milk any information from me.

“It’s not what it looks like.” I defended, she rolls her eyes in a matter of seconds and starts to move towards as she drags the chair with her, “Are you seriously going to lie in front of my face when I just hear everything that has happened?” She snaps.

Okay. She looks pissed. It must have been because she doesn’t want her bestfriend being with Austin because she hates Austin so much. “I meant like it’s not like we’re doing something inappropriate, it was like I was pushing him away from me because he was lying on my bed beside me and I told him to get off and he won’t go so I pushed him away from me but before he could even land himself on the floor, he was pulling me with him—“ I breathed out, “But then I land in an awkward position then seconds later my brother shows up out of nowhere.”

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” She breathed out, “Like how did you guys even ended up on the same bed together and why is Austin on your house in the first place because clearly, he was in school this morning and you’re sick and—“ her eyes widen after realizing something that I don’t know what because she loves to assume things, “Oh my gosh, did he came here for you? Are you a thing or is there something going on between you two because back on the hotel, it looks like you two are—“ She covers her mouth after saying so much stuff and she continues to talk again, “Seriously El, you’re not telling me everything, what is really happening between the two of you? Can you please explain? I’m your bestfriend.” She states with a matter of a fact tone, earning a very troubled look on my face.

I mean, it’s not that I don’t like to tell her but I think it’s okay to vent my emotions to someone than just keeping it to myself until I lose out of my mind. “Okay,” I shrug, “I’ll tell everything.”

“So where do we begin?” She sits down comfortably with her eyes settled at me, “Before we do that though, answer me this question that I’m going to ask you and I want you to be honest with me.” I replied by nodding and she said, “Do you like Austin? I mean like like ‘like’. Not just like as in as friends like.” Her eyes looks at me, trying to milk the answer that she honestly wants to hear.

I don’t want her to tell me off because of my stupidity but that is what bestfriend’s for, and by telling her this, maybe she could help me get rid of this one sided feelings once and for all.

“Yes.” I plainly said.

Her eyes widen in a matter of seconds after hearing me say that but in my surprise, she didn’t blurted out the words like ‘are you out of your freaking mind?’ or even the provocative one like ‘oh my fucking gosh El, you’re so stupid like why do you fucking like that fucking asshole when he’s an asshole to you since the moment you met him?’ but no, she was just surprised with her eyes widen in shock.

“How about Matt?” She changes the topic with a little hope in the glint of her eyes, I know she votes for Matt instead of Austin because Matt is much more of a gentleman and not a playboy compared to Austin.

“Yeah—I mean, I could still feel like my heart hammering like crazy when he talks or text me.” I blurted out. She looks confused but she asks a question again, “So who do you like most?”

“I don’t know.”

“No, there is. Just answer me. And I’m not going to tell you who is best for you because you know who I’m going to side on and still, even I’m right, it’s your heart to decide and not mine.”

“I don’t know, okay?” I said in a frustrated tone, “I mean base on their looks, yeah they look hot and built but Matt is much of goodness and Austin is more of mysterious and he has something more that I want to find out and Matt is like the guy I’ve been dying to be with since sophomore so, yeah, I don’t fucking know.” I blurted out, I feel like I’m cheating on my feelings but what’s there to cheat? I’m just one sided and both guys doesn’t even like me so why choose in the first place?

“Okay yeah Matt is your crush like since sophomore and Austin is someone you just recently like, so I think you’re going to get over Austin soon and hey, I think Matt likes you because he was looking for you during lunch break.” A smile crept on her face and I got the feeling that she’s still siding on Matt. What about the fact that my heart is the one I’m going to follow and not her advice?

“Seriously?” I ask in frustration.

She burst out a fit of laughter, “I was joking, whoever you pick, it’s on you. I’m just here to guide you each step of the way,” She sighs, “Though I’m on team matt.” She whispers but she made it sound a little higher for me to hear.

“Shut up Cas.” I demanded and she does the zip thing on her lips but she didn’t really shut up because she opens her mouth again, “Just tell me the whole story about the things that are happening between you and Austin recently, and I’ll tell you my advice later.”

I was debating to whether I should tell her about everything including the kiss. But just telling her what I feel makes me breathe a little. So I decided to tell her everything, to the part that Austin was being weird when he found out about Matt, the sudden kiss which totally give a shock on Casey, the party, the night I spent on their house, how he’s been acting, the drunken confessions and the heart to heart talk, the beach and the hotel scenario and last but not the least what happened today, “—so yeah, Elliot just found me on top of him and he was like ‘what the hell?!’”

She was silent but I know there are a lot of things going inside her head right now and I know that she has a lot of things to say, “I think Austin likes you.”

“What!?” I laugh, “No way!” I sounded annoyed, like how can a guy who would actually get any girl that he wants will want to like me?

“Seriously, like the first kiss, I could totally get that he’s a playboy but the second kiss, it does not mean it’s just a test.” She gasps, “What if Austin Prince actually likes you? on top of that, what if Matt also likes you?!” She chuckles, she sounded insane, “Oh my gosh! The makeover project is totally a kill! I should be having my salon one day or a fashion line.”

My lips were forming a very thin line, I was very serious but it looks like she was making fun of me. She was laughing non-stop and I was just staring at her, waiting for her to calm down and when she finally is calm down, “Sorry—“ She coughs, “I’m sorry, really, I know you’re serious, I just really can’t digest the fact that Austin likes you, I mean you two have never gotten along and now you’re crushing on each other?” She forms a smile on her lips, “I guess the saying, ‘the more you hate, the more you love’, is really true.”

I hit her on the shoulder and she starts to be serious, “Okay, I’m sorry.” She breathes for a few seconds, “Whatever your decision is, I’m here for you. Even though I hate Austin, just sort this out first, choose who you really like, I mean we don’t really know who likes who coz no one is saying anything,” she takes a hold of both of my hands, “Just don’t hesitate or even forget that I’m always here for you and hear your weird choices, stories or whatever,” A grin spread across my lips. “I’ll be here to support you and whoever breaks your heart, I’m going to beat the fucking shit out of whoever that guy is.”

“I know,” I said sincerely, “And thank you for that.”

“Okay—“ She said casually, “Enough with the drama and let’s go watch some movies, I have ice cream on that brown bag coz I thought you were sick,” She stands up and took the brown bag with her as she scoots down beside me, “You were actually love sick.”

“Shut up Cas!” I hit her with the pillow and she laughs instead, “You know it.”

--

Casey went home at eight o’ clock in the evening , after the love talk I had with her, we decided to watch mean girls and dear john until she decided to went home because her mom is looking for her which was a bit weird because she doesn’t have a curfew. Elliot didn’t actually talk to me went he got home, he decided to give me the silent treatment. I’m a bit bothered by it because I really don’t want him doing the silent treatment to me so I have to do something about it because I really can’t handle when he does that.

“Elliot.” I walk beside him as he walks through the halls, we ate breakfast but he was totally ignoring me, he drove us to school but he plainly ignored me. So here I am again, trying to persuade him that he shouldn’t ignore me.

He went to his locker and I followed behind him, “Twinsee—“ I pout, “Talk to me.” I urged, he blocks my face with the use of the locker door and I move on the other side to get a good look at his face if he’s mad or just teasing me.

“You need to do harder than that.” Ace stands beside us, with a grin on his face. Oh my gosh, does he knows about it too?!

“I don’t know what happened between Elliot, you and Austin,” Ace clarifies, “But seeing Austin do whatever Elliot ask of him yesterday was definitely a good sight to see and pretty clear that it was something really bad that you made him mad like that.”

Ivan suddenly pops out of nowhere, placing his arms around Ace’s shoulders, “Oh, is this what I think it is?” He chuckles, “Is it Ellie’s turn to do the hard work? Man, I should’ve taken a video on Austin yesterday, that was pretty hilarious.”

Elliot slams his locker, shooting Ace and Ivan a glare, “What I meant was, we’re going ahead,” Ivan clears his throat and Ace nodded and follow him from behind. When Elliot is mad, everyone is scared at him. He has the huge temper in all of the football team and even our group of friends. So if you want to mess with someone, it’s definitely not him.

I don’t know what he asked Austin to do but let’s just aside that for later and try to be on his good side, “Elliot, for the love of pancakes.” I murmur.

He closes his eyes for a matter of seconds and then he turns to look at me, “I’m not mad.”

“Then what are you trying to imply with the silent treatment and ignoring stuff?!” I retorted. It looks like I was the one mad even though I don’t have the right to.

“I just can’t remove the scene inside my head and whenever I want to talk to you, it keep on playing on the back of my mind,” He admits, “I don’t really care if you fall for each other or whatever you’re doing because I trust my bestfriend that he won’t hurt you—“ I swallowed the lump on my throat and I have the feeling that I was getting nervous with the Austin liking me part again when we all know it’s not true, “But I really, as in really don’t want my sister having that kind of position with my bestfriend, like it’s weird and it’s giving me the creeps.”

“You know that it was an accident right?” I clarified and he shrugs, “You’re probably going to ask again why I ask Austin to do those stuff when I knew it wasn’t his fault,” He chuckles softly, “I was just having fun, messing with him around and trying to give him an idea that there is more to that when he tries to hurt my sister.” He places his arms around me, he’s really a softie, and no one just hasn’t seen it yet.

“You’re evil. I thought brothers come first?” I teased, earning a laugh from him.

“Haven’t you heard of blood is thicker than water?” He states and I nodded in agreement, “But now that I think about it, I think Austin deserves it for toying around and for doing a lot of bad things to me since freshman so, yeah. Thank you my awesome brother.”

“You’re welcome, as long as you won’t be doing that again.” He said laughing.

“Oh my fucking hell, shut up!” I retorted, “It was an accident!”

“Whatever you say.”

--

Tuesday, I used to hate Tuesdays because I have three classes with Austin this day and the first subject that I will be with him is Economics, our teacher in that particular subject is Ms. Foxx, she’s a really cool teacher and does not send any student to detention only and only if you try to disrespect her but so far, no one has ever reach to that point because like I said, she’s a cool teacher and she gets along with the students.

As I arrive in the classroom which is now almost full, I sit down at my usual space which is in the far corner of the seats, I like seating at the back every economics time because I have the time to sleep when I haven’t had the chance to get a proper sleep and to divert my attention elsewhere since I’m not a fan of economics myself, even if it was the coolest teacher in our school. I don’t know why though but it does not really appeal to me that much.

“Hey Fynn,” I greeted Fynn who usually sits beside me during Economics because like me, he loves to sit at the back. He’s a nice guy, average looking and he’s on a swimming team. He’s good friends with Elliot but he doesn’t hang out with us. Though, we used to and still now have the comfortable conversations and made fun of our classmates routines that are unusual because we can see everything because we are seated at the farthest seat.

“Hey El,” He greeted with a smile, “Guess who has a date tonight.” His face lit up the moment he brings out the topic. He’s not a ladies’ man like I know of, he’s really a decent guy who’s a douche in romance.

“Let me guess, hmm,” I tried to tease, “Ms. Foxx?” Well she’s at her thirtees, no one really knows if she’s married or not because she doesn’t wear any ring and she does not brought up any romantic stories about her love life.

He snorted at my little guess, “If that happens, I’m sure the class will throw a party by this instance,” He joke, “But no—“ A grin spread along his face. Even though he didn’t tell me, by the look on his face, you can tell that something’s off about him and it’s somehow related to a girl.

“Hmm—“ I hummed, “Is it me? Because I sure want to have one!” I chirped excitedly and he laughs instead, “Seriously El!” He scratches the back of his neck when I saw him look at the girl who is three seats away from us. He’s looking at Lily. Lily is the smartest girl in our year but she’s not the type who’s really into studies and does not even bother with her social life because she’s opposite than that. She’s a smart girl who knows how to party but she hasn’t had a boyfriend yet, let’s just say she’s rather picky. And with the looks of things, I think Fynn is suitable to be her boyfriend, heck future husband if they must.

“Ah—“ I say, earning the attention of Fynn who is now red as a tomato, “Lily is your date? Oh my gosh congratulations, at last, someone has finally tick her clock.”

His face is red and I can tell that he really likes him, “C’mon Fynn, go seat beside her and tell me everything after the date, promise me you’ll tell me everything?” I urged and he quickly showed a smile on his lips.

“I will but I don’t know if I should, I mean we have a date this Friday, we can hang out by then and I don’t think she’ll like someone bothering her studies, I mean, she really is into studying and I could be a bother and I might blew it off if I—“ I cut him off with a hiss, “Seriously Fynn, get your ass on that empty chair beside her before someone grabs it.” I glared at him in a way to lure him out of my sight.

He takes a few breathes before he says, “How do I look?”

“Dashing.” I comment.

He smiles back, “Thank you, I promise to tell you how it went after.” He scoots out of his chair and slowly sits down beside the empty spot which is next to Lily. I feel like I’m a fairy god mother even though I just told him off to go there.

I can see Lily fidgeting, she was really nervous but I can tell she likes his presence and Fynn won’t just stop smiling like an idiot.

“Why are you smiling so creepy?” I was suddenly brought to reality when I heard a voice beside me.

I quickly turn around to look who it was and I feel like I’m going to growl when I saw him, “Shut up please? I’m observing.”

“Observing those two that are madly in love with each other?” He takes the seat beside me and drops his bag on the floor without any care.

“Don’t mind me and take care of your own business,” I snapped, “Wait, you’re not supposed to be seating here, you should be at the middle, where Ms. Foxx always ask you to sit.” I growl. I feel like I’m being such a pain in the ass for being such a mad woman by just acting like this towards him.

“Well Ms. Fairy god mother, because of your magic skills to bring those two closer together,” He places his legs on the table, “my seat has been taken by the madly in love douche.”

“Don’t call a guy who is in love a douche.” I told him off.

“Why so grumpy? Have you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” He asks with a curious look on his face.

I sigh, “Sorry—“ I cleared my throat, “But anyway, you don’t have the right to call a guy a douche when he’s in love.”

“Why’s that?” He questions instantly. I sigh, “Because being in love is the most beautiful thing, sucks for you though because you haven’t fall in love.”

“Really? What makes you say that?” He challenged, with a smirk on his lips.

“Because all you do is bang girls, sleep with them, forget their names tomorrow and just like that, hello to a new girl tomorrow.” I rolled my eyes in irritation after realizing that the guy that I like is a major playboy, “You seriously need a heart transplant.”

“Just because I sleep around with every girl in the campus doesn’t mean I haven’t felt that love thing before.” He clarifies, “And besides, it’s not like you have fallen in love with yourself, you haven’t had a boyfriend and clearly, Matt is just a crush.”

“At least I don’t sleep around like you do, clearly, that means you haven’t even felt the love struck.”

He chuckles softly, it was making me irritated how he just shrugs it off, as if what I just told him was true. Is it really true that he hasn’t fall in love yet because if he is, then that means, I have zero chance of being with him, not that I want to, it’s just like the feelings I get when you like someone even though I know I had to remove this feelings soon.

“Guess what Ella,” He leans towards me, trying to whisper what he is trying to say.

“What?” I responded quickly.

“I’m a douche.” He admits. Why the hell will he admit that he’s a douche? I mean yeah he’s really a douche.

“I know, you’re a douche, an asshole, what more can I say?” I murmur.

He laughs at my statement, “No, what I meant that I am a douche,” A grin spread across his lips, “Ask me why.”

Clearly he’s a douche, I don’t need to ask him why, “Why?”

“I just told you that Fynn is a douche for falling in love,” I can feel my heart starting to pound like crazy, “So I think, I’m a douche too.” He smiles genuinely, making me want to remove his eyes that are looking at me, “Because I think I had fallen in love.”

Austin Prince, what are you doing to me?