Chapter 11 – Just Friends

Ellie

I like Austin? Is my mind functioning correctly or I’m just being funny?

I know there are a lot of reasons to say why I shouldn’t like Austin but every time I deny it, the more I feel that I was lying to myself.

But why do I feel this way towards him? This isn’t right.

He doesn’t like me.

I am nothing to him.

So why should I like him?

His lips are still pressed on mine and I don’t know what to do, should I kiss him back or should I not?

“Good evening, ma’am or sir? Cleaning service?” A man from behind the door speaks.

He immediately broke out from the kiss and stare at the door. I cough loudly, I can’t seem to calm my heart down. I check on the door and greeted the man, “No thank you, we just got here.”

“Okay ma’am. Have a wonderful evening then.” He smiles politely and left before I close the door behind him.

It was awkward. The moment I faced Austin, he was silent. He didn’t say a word. I’m nervous and afraid of what he was going to say next if I ask him what the kiss was about.

He will probably say that he was just testing me or he got bored but for me, it’s something more and yet I’m afraid to confront him. I shouldn’t continue these feelings towards him and ignore it. The more I like him, the more dangerous it gets.

“Cat got your tongue?” I speak. He directed his eyes at me and a smile form his lips.

“The kiss, what I was trying to say was—“ I raise a hand, signaling him to stop. He did what I told and I said, “I know, it’s nothing.” I laugh nervously, “You’re just bored or either teasing me.”

“No Ella, what I was telling you—“ I cut him off, “Just shut up Austin, I know, I know that it was just nothing. You’re probably bored and I know you, you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me anyway.” I laugh, “I mean, I’m probably no one.”

“Ella please listen to me, I need you to hear me out—“ I cut him off again, “Whatever Austin, it’s okay. It’s not like I have feelings for you, you know who I like.” I chuckle and he displays a stern look on his face.

“Fine.” He spat, “If that’s what you want to hear then fine.” He stares at the window and continued, “The kiss was just nothing. I’m bored and I’m not going to say sorry because that’s what you want to hear right?”

No. I don’t want to hear that. But there’s no other reason behind that kiss. Nothing more.

He got up from the bed, “I’ll just go and take a shower.” He walks towards the bathroom and shuts the door behind him with a bang. He was mad and I can feel pain in my chest. What he told me was painful and I can’t even breathe. Am I right to tell him that? Should I have heard him out or is it the right thing to do to tell him that? I don’t know. I’m confused.

“El—are you here?” I heard Casey’s voice from behind the door and I immediately greeted her and opens the door for me to see her.

“Are you—“ She wasn’t able to finish her sentence because I immediately hug her tightly. I need comfort right now but I couldn’t tell her right now.

“Okay?” She said, “What are you doing?”

I let go off her and started laughing, I’m good at faking it. “Nothing, I was just glad to see you.”

“Oh really?” She bursts out laughing, making me smile, “Anyway, thanks to my boyfriend, the fight broke.” She crosses her arms against her chest, “So the party is back on, aren’t you going to leave this room?”

I shake my head, “No,” I pointed the bathroom door, “Austin’s here.”

Her eyes widen in shock and she spoke softly, “What the actual fudge?”

“I was going to deliver him at Elliot’s place but they weren’t there so I let him stay here for the mean time.” She wiggles her eyebrows, “Really?”

I rolled my eyes in irritation, “Shut up Casey, does your boyfriend have any spare clothes?”

“Hold on, let me check.” She went to the door across from my room and went inside after unlocking the door with her keys. It took her five minutes before she got out of the room. “Here. I think Austin will fit on that.”

“Took you too long.” I grab the clothes from her hands and she laugh, “I was checking his bag if there’s any funny thing on it.”

“Oh please Casey, you’re just admiring his boxers.” I laugh and she started to go red.

“I’ll head down, are you sure you’re not coming?”

I signal her to leave with the use of my hand, “I’ll probably be back later. It’s still early anyway.”

“Fine. Have a lovely honey moon then.” She teases before she continues to walk away.

“Shut up Casey!”

She waves a good bye before she finally enters the elevator. I close the door behind me and exhales as soon as I felt that no one is around me right now. Austin’s not my type, I don’t like him, I like Matt.

The bathroom door flung open and I felt like my heart just drop because I was surprised. He went out with a towel on his waist, he didn’t seem to be bothered with his bare upper body shown with me around. Well, who would be? When you have a body like that?

“Are you done staring?” He teases, his usual demeanor came back. How can he be so fine with it after just minutes? Like as if nothing happened.

“No—“ I stutter, “I wasn’t staring.” I clear my throat and handed him Chase’s clothes.

“Thanks—“ He enters the bathroom and I pass by without looking, minutes later, he walks out with clothes on and he laughs, “Fits perfectly.”

“Yup.” I said popping the ‘p’, “So what’s your plan? Because I don’t plan to sleep this early.” I said awkwardly. If he’s going to pretend nothing happened, I might as well join him.

“Let’s go back,” He said casually, “Maybe Elliot will be back and the others.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He responded back. He places his hands on his pockets and speaks again, “Aren’t you going to put anything?”

Right. I was on a bikini but he stole my dress. “Funny, aren’t you going to bring my dress back?”

He scratch the back of his neck, “Right—“ He laughs nervously, “I may or may not lost it—can you just grab a dress or something and let’s look for it?” He smiles teasingly, making my head boil. I guess we’re back to being a cat-dog relationship. That’s what we are and we’re never going to be something more.

“Seriously Austin, you’re a douche.”

“And you’re a drama queen.”

“Shut up Asshat.”

“I won’t shut up dog face.”

“And you’re done with man face, because you’re calling me a dog face right now?” I said annoyingly, “You know what, you’re a fucking asshole for losing my dress which Casey bought.”

“Well I can replace it if you want,” He chuckles, “But this time, I’m going to replace it with something that isn’t even see through,” He crosses his arms against his chest, “Did you know I notice that you wore that so that you can attract guys?”

Did I just heard him correctly? I mean, I wore that just to give Matt a good impression, I wasn’t wearing that to attract guys, “Excuse me?!” My eyes widen, “I’m not a whore like Alexandra so just shut up.”

“Then why did you wear something like that especially a bikini? Since when do you wear something like that? Ever since I met you and whenever we head out on the beach with the others, you never care of what you wear.” Ever since I met you? What is this guy? An investigator? Since when does he care and try to know more things about me?

“Can’t a girl wear something that’s girly for her?” I shouted.

He snorted, “It’s not you at all Ella, stop changing just because of a guy who doesn’t even know the real you.” He stated.

This guy is impossible, he isn’t my dad or even my boyfriend, why is he even acting like one?

“So who am I suppose to like then?” My voice was higher compared before, “A guy like you who does nothing but say awful things to me?”

“Ella—that’s not my point—“ I cut him off, I was mad and this night was nothing but a mess, “Then what Austin?!”

“Why are you being this way towards me? Why do you care when you’re not supposed to care? Why do you make things complicated? Why do you try to meddle with my life? Who are you to tell me who I need to like and who I need to impress? You’re not my dad or even my boyfriend, heck, you don’t even like me!” I can feel like I was going to cry but I try to held my tears back, “Who are you to me make me feel this way? Who am I even to you?”

If he told me that he likes me, will everything be okay? Or will everything will be nothing but a mess?

“Ella, you’re a wonderful girl who deserves better.” He said calmly. He turns around, started walking towards the door.

“Stop.” I said, he stops his tracks but he didn’t face me.

“What am I to you Austin?” I stutter, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Ella.” He speaks, “I have to go.”

“Stop with this pathetic excuses Austin!” I shouted, “Just tell me why you’re being the way you are towards me!” I exclaim.

“You’re—“ He opens the door, “my friend.” He closes the door, leaving me in the empty room, all alone. And that’s it, I feel tears crashing down my eyes. I am nothing but a friend.

--

“Ellie!” My brother’s voice is heard from behind my bedroom door, “It’s six forty five in the morning! Get your ass out of your room right now or we’re late!”

I’m lying down in my bed and thinking of whether I should go to school or not, after the fight that I had with Austin, I decided to stay in my hotel room and leave early than I expected to be. I didn’t message Casey about why I left early and even told her what happened. Elliot arrive in the afternoon and was asking me why I left early without waiting for them, I didn’t really told him anything and just shrug it off by saying that I was sick. My window is close so I don’t have to see him, because if I saw that jerk right now, I think I want to rip his throat out.

“C’mon Ellie, mom and dad is not right here, it’s only me and waking you up is difficult as I speak.” My bedroom door is lock, so he couldn’t get in. I barely speak, I barely eat. As if I got a terrible break up with my boyfriend even though it isn’t, the argument that I had with Austin really made me sad that I couldn’t really process everything right now.

Should I act normal towards him or should I act like I wanted to get away from him in any means possible?

“Ellie!” Elliot shouted, he’s now mad, I can tell. “I’m going to destroy the lock of your door if you’re not going to go out now.”

I exhaled and get up off my bed, I’m feeling really upset that I can’t even get out of my bed. I open my bedroom door to see an angry Elliot who is prepared in going to school while I’m still on my pajamas.

“What’s that?” He eyed me from head to toe, “Are you going to school dressed like that?”

I rolled my eyes in irritation, “I can’t go to school, I’m sick.”

He places his hand on my forehead, “You don’t have a fever.”

“Elliot, just because I’m sick, it does not mean I have a fever, it could mean that I’m experiencing tummy ache or back pain or abdominal pain or I’m puking my guts out or—“ He raises his hand, signaling me to stop, “I get it.”

“Okay, so I’m going to go back to bed now.” I went towards my bed and he stops me from grabbing my wrist, “No you’re not, you’re not sick.”

“Elliot, just let me be, I’m sick and I don’t want to go to school.” I exclaim.

“Love sick is not sickness.” My eyes widen after hearing him say that. Did Austin tell him anything? Please tell me that he didn’t know anything.

“I’m not love sick, I’m plainly sick.”

“Yeah right—“ He lets go off my wrist, “You’re my twin sister and I know if something is off with you.” He chuckles, “Did you have an argument with Austin?” He places his hands on his pockets, “Because when I was with him yesterday, he barely spoke.”

“I did not—“ I exclaim, “Why would I get love sick and he’s involve with it? Heck, I don’t even like that guy.” I said awkwardly.

“You know what? The two of you should get this thing sorted out, keep denying yourselves the truth and the both of you are just going to get hurt.” What does he mean by denying it? It’s not like Austin likes me, he said it in front of my face, ‘I am a friend’.

“I don’t like him.”

“Keep saying yourself that,” He said, “I’ll be off to school and you better cure that sickness of yours or I’m telling mom and dad if you’re not going to school tomorrow.”

“Fine. Take care on your way to school.” He waves his hand as he exits my bedroom.

--

It’s twelve fifty five in the afternoon, I’m on my pj’s, staring at my laptop as I watch a movie and a bucket of ice cream at hand. It feels like I’m having PMS when I’m not. By tomorrow, I’ll act like nothing happened. My phone has been vibrating since yesterday and I haven’t even checked any of my messages.

I took my phone from the table lamp and read every single message,

“Where are you? I’ve been looking for you all over the party, but a fight happened after the game, I didn’t get to see you. Are you okay? –Matt” Saturday, 9:55pm

“Why did you left early? Are you okay? You didn’t even attend the party after I talk to you. –Casey” Sunday, 8:44am

“Just send me a message if you’re okay, please? – Casey” Sunday, 10:55pm

“You know what, you’re being unfair. I expect you to explain tomorrow. –Casey” Sunday, 1:43pm

“Elliot told me you were sick, why didn’t you tell me earlier? I should have asked Chase to drive you home. –Casey” Sunday, 4:25pm

“We need to talk. –Austin” Sunday, 6:24pm

“Have you read my message last night? I just want to tell you that I was a bit upset that I didn’t get to see you after we separate ways at the party. Anyway, I guess I’ll see you on Monday. I’m looking forward this coming Saturday. –Matt” Sunday, 6:30pm

“I’m at my window right now, open your window, let’s talk. – Austin” Sunday, 7:46pm

“C’mon Ella, I’m sorry but I really need to talk to you right now. –Austin” Sunday, 8:01pm

“Ella. Please. –Austin” Sunday, 8:34pm

“If you don’t want to talk right now, I’m sorry. But tomorrow, please talk to me. Good night. –Austin” Sunday, 11:55pm

“Sick? Again? Are you okay? Elliot told me you’re not feeling well. I hope by tomorrow you can go to school. Get well soon! –Casey” Monday, 7:55am

“Get well soon –Lila” Monday, 8:01am

“We need to talk. –Austin” Monday, 8:33am

Great, I had a lot of messages from Austin. I should be happy right now because Matt texted me but I couldn’t seem to smile by just seeing Austin’s messages.

The door bell rang downstairs and I’m a little bit hesitant to answer it because I’m alone. My mom didn’t tell me that we will have any guest.

Maybe it’s just girl scouts roaming around and trying to sell some cookies?

The door bell rang again and the person behind it was getting impatient. I get up from the bed and changed my pj’s into my v-neck shirt and shorts at the bottom.

I made my way downstairs and the doorbell kept on ringing and ringing. Who does this person think he is to make such noise in a house that’s not even his or hers?

“What the hell?!” I open my door, I was going to scold the person behind it but I was surprise to see him, “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” He said. His hair was messy, his shirt is all crumpled out, eye bags were seen behind his blue round eyes, it was evident he didn’t have much sleep. “I wanted to tell you that I am sorry.”

“Sorry about—“

“Sorry about being such an asshole to you?” I whined.

He rolls his eyes in irritation, “Can you hear me out? It’s already difficult apologizing,” He murmur, “I’m not the type of guy who apologizes.” He said sincerely.

Austin isn’t really that type of guy to be opening his heart out to me and telling me that he’s sorry. He is usually the type of guy who won’t be apologizing for anything and will expect that the person whom he fought with will be the one apologizing for his mistakes. I know there are more things to learn from him and I know that I kept on denying it but maybe because of this curiousness that I’m having towards him, the urge that makes me want to know about him is the reason why I’m starting to like him.

“I know,” I open the door for him, just enough that so he could enter our home. I know I shouldn’t let a guy enter our house when I’m alone but I’ve known him since freshmen and even though we may have the cat-dog relationship, I still consider him as my friend because he’s my brother’s bestfriend.

He enters through the main door and he breathes, “I just can’t sleep and digest the fact how I’ve been such an asshole to you lately,” He clears his throat.

I laugh, “You mean like for the past years?”

“Ella,” He intervenes, “I’m not going to apologize about that part,” He clears his throat, “I’m apologizing to you because of how I treated you at the party, you don’t deserve that to hear from me when I’m just your friend.” ‘your friend’, just hearing that makes me feel like something is trying to stab me from behind.

“And I know I shouldn’t meddle whom you like or not,” He continues, “But it does not mean that I should just let you off without trying to be a friend for you, like you know, I can’t just see you running off with that asshole.”

“Seriously Austin? Where is this conversation getting at? What’s your deal with Matt anyway?” I went to sit on the couch and stare at him with a serious look.

He breathes heavily, “Look, I just want to ask you if we could start all over again and pretend what happened on that party,” He scratches the back of his neck, “I won’t be an asshole to you anymore and I’ll try to open up to you more so we could get to know each other.”

“And why do you want our relationship to be that kind of friend who wants to get to know each other part?” I cross my arms against my chest and he closes his eyes for seconds and he says, “Because I want to get to know more about you.”

I felt my heart skip a beat with the words that he said to me, why would he want to get to know more about me? “Why?”

“Because—“ He stutter, “Because, I want you to know me and to know my secret, so I won’t try to hide it anymore.” He clears his throat and sits down next to me.

“You mean, the girl who you like?” that’s definitely an ‘ouchie’. “You could just share it with Elliot, I’m not the one who should know this.”

“Ella, I’m not really good at speaking your heart out or what so ever,” He exclaims, “But please—“ He looks right in my eyes, I can feel like everything around me just freeze with his blue round eyes staring right at me, “Can we just get to know each other more and start all over again?”

Can I really do that when I know that I already like him? Maybe I can, maybe I can get over him if we did start over again and I’ll probably just settle my mind at Matt, maybe this could work. And if I finally get to know more about Austin, we could be close friends and it is something that I could treasure. It will be a new chapter of our relationship, even though not the liking part, just friends.

“Hi, my name is Ellie Reed, and you are?” I smile and he started chuckling.

“My name’s Austin, Austin Prince.” He offers his hand for me to shake and I shake it back.

“Should I call you Austin or do you prefer to be called anything besides that?”

“Call me Austin.” He chuckles, making my heart pound like crazy. This has got to stop.

“And you call me Ellie or El for short.” I chirped and he shakes his head in disagreement.

“Nope,” He disagrees, “I’ll call you Ella, and I’m the only person who could call you that,” He points his index finger at me, “You’re my Ella.” Just hearing him say that, makes my heart flutter and my cheeks flush. I don’t know if this new chapter will get rid of my feelings for him, but maybe getting to know more about him is not so bad after all?