Chapter 88: Haebang (Liberation)

Her precious self that was wrapped around me, her scented hair that tickled my chin, her clear hazel eyes that kept piercing mine, and the denial that she was putting into her words drove me crazy to a point of no return. We had never been so close to each other before, and I was desperate to see what she looked like in the light. And I got more than I asked for when I saw her new fitted rags that she wore paired together with the shoes that Hwi had given her from his sparring money that he had collected from me. Seo Hwi, Han Hui-Jae or Yeon, my Yeon who had unconditionally stayed by my side in my most desperate and isolated time. No matter how I had treated her or saw her, from the moment her brother introduced me to her and let me grow up by her side, she become my person as well. She was mine; no matter how I treated her yesterday, today and tomorrow, she knew what could happen when she decided to defy my father to look after me.

It was almost morning now and I knew that everyone would start making their way into the palace in a few hours, and neither of us could be caught here together with the almost dead body in our presence. My emotions and other feelings that I had were well and truly out of control as I took her by the hand and I took her to an empty office room nearby that was no longer of use to anyone.

"What are you doing? What is going on? Why did you bring me here." "Why?" "Why what?" "Why can't you marry me?" "You have already lived this life with cruel judgements attached to your birthright, and now more than ever, you are a rising star in the palace after your father's judgement. How can I let you drag yourself back down to the bottom by marrying an epileptic orphan with a lowly status such as mine? How can I possible give a man children with my condition? I do not think that I could even conceive and bare children at all. I would just be a burden if I married anyone other than a eunuch..." I remember making a silent prayer in my head, for god to forgive me for making plans on a woman who had no blood ties to me, but I couldn't let her go. She was my person, the only person who willingly approached me over and over again. Her brother needed time to get over what I was forced to do, so I had nod choice but to give him that, but I wasn't going to let Yeon go by an inch.

"So, you will not marry me because of your societal fears?" "I cannot bring you down because of it because you care so much about these rules. I also cannot marry a man who is keeping secrets from me about my own life, and especially one who already has a lover." The defiant tone in her voice was just adding on to my already out of control emotions and I held onto her again when he turned around to leave by placing my arms around her slim waist that I had fantasied about over and over again. "Are you saying that you were going to leave eventually?" "Did you expect me to stay forever?"

I couldn't blame her, no matter how upset I was at her and myself, I really couldn't be angry at her at all. She was right about everything; she would most likely had a better quality of life if she was married. But I had suffered too much at this point and I had been pushed to my breaking limit. Even if there were other options for Yeon to escape or enjoy a different life, she wasn't going to do it without me, not now and not in a hundred years.

"Men are allowed to have more than one woman, I will fully give you your memories and you will come back home with me until I figure out a solution for you." "I will never accept a man who has attachments to other women, you will give me my memories back regardless of anything and I will stay here until you do!" "Just who do you think you are?" "I have no idea who I am because you are hiding everything from me! So what do I have to loose if I defy you since I have nothing! Just who do you think you are to do this to me! Just because I live with you doesn't mean that you can treat me how you please!" Never in my life have I ever witnessed a woman shouting back at a man, it just didn't happen in our nation at all. Even if the men were in the wrong, women weren't allowed to shout at men from every angle possibly. I was honestly so shocked that I couldn't help myself but to laugh like I had never laughed before. It was a loud and usual loud that had never came out of my mouth before, but it made me feel euphoric and suddenly, all the emotions were coming back, especially as I couldn't take my eyes off of her no matter what I did.

"You are going to continue to be this stubborn no matter what I say, right?" I asked her while she was trying to wrestle away from my grip. "You have no rights over me." I couldn't help but to laugh again at her sheer deniability, she really was a funny little thing when she got angry and completely adorable to watch. And if I wanted to see more, I had to learn how to compromise, no matter how much pain it would put me in temporarily.

"You will not come home...that is fine. I will give you your memories, but I want something in return." "What do you want?" "You body. Your mind. I want you."

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He wasn't joking at all; he didn't know how to crack a joke without my brother and he was holding onto me as if we were already lovers! And I had no idea why he kept laughing me at whenever I lost my temper, but it was just making me more and more angry. But when I tried to leave for the third time, he pulled me back so hard that I fell straight into his lap! And he had the nerve to act like his damned father in that arrogant manner that made me want to slap him hard enough to see sense. But that wasn't even the worst of it, I was crying right in front of the man that I wished I could stop thinking about for a single day just to get my mind straight.

He knew that I was upset, and I was more thanks surprised to see him consoling me when he wiped my tears away. Even in his most possessive and outlandish moments, we still had our times which were just so...pure and real, but it just added to my confusion. If I could, I would have loved to just stay in his arms all day long if I could. But then he started kissing me again, and he had caught my arms in his grasp so I couldn't fight back even if I wanted to...

A part of me tried to stop what was going on, but he could already tell that I was in denial about everything, and I had no comeback after that. All of his erratic behaviour, his stalking habits, my care and love towards him, and the restraints between us, not to mention the absence of Nam-Jeon lead us both on a crazy emotional ride that led us to a night of unrestrained passion that could not be taken back. I tired to use all of the excuses in the world to stop this but he refused to see sense and he went as far as confessing to me that he was in fact a virgin just like I was. And it was evident at first, but only momentarily. And he was nothing like the rumours that were circulating at Ihwaru said at all.

Passions between a man and a woman were usually over with as soon as it happened, and I was worried about that all night long. I had given up my chastity, and now the only thing I had to save my reputation was for Seon-Ho to claim me as his woman. I still had a lot to loose and I was out of my mind to have surrendered myself so easily...but I was so frightened last night that I swore that he would have ended up taking me by force if I didn't eventually give myself up. But no matter how it started or how crazy he was...he was really gentle and considerate...at first anyways. So I was even more surprised when he was still by my side when I woke up on his chest with a completely different expression that I had never seen in my life before. I could tell that he was conflicted, and he had some guilt and deservedly so, but he looked mostly at peace for the first time...ever.

We both couldn't speak but we couldn't take our eyes off of each other at all. We had used our clothes to cover us, but we had started taking them off to take a good look at each other for once. He was everything I had ever dreamed of and more; tall, wide chested, he had muscle upon muscle layered on his arms and his...well I was too engrossed not to realise that he was about to pull me back onto the floor and have some more time together until we started to hear distant footsteps coming in the way of the offices. We had very little time to get dressed before Seon-Ho took me by the arm and into his office of all places where we could quietly attend to each other. But never in my life have I experienced such bliss, such pleasure and peace. At least that was what I thought, until I noticed that Seon-Ho's eyes were burning into me with a very serious look on his face. "Seon-Ho?" "Yeon, what are those bruises on your back?"

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All it took was a single night with Yeon to tear down both her internal or external walls around me. She couldn't lie to me anymore, she couldn't even look me in the face as I asked her a simple question. Instead of giving me her lip, whit and attitude, she had her face plastered to the floor and her fingers are trembling. "Yeon, I asked you a question, why aren't you answering it?" "It was back when I had my fights with Chun-Ae..." "These are fresh bruises on your back. I will ask you one last time and do not lie to me." "Seon-Ho, please..." The person she was calling wasn't me anymore; I thought that I was a new person when Hui-Jee gave herself to me but it was something indescribable with Yeon. I had crossed a line that I shouldn't have, but the forbidden fruit was well and truly worth it. Despite my various attempts with Hui-Jee, nothing worked and I knew that she was upset about it. But I had just done everything I could possibly think of with Yeon and I woke up a completely new person. I wasn't as incompetent as everyone made me out to be; I was a man and I had more than proven myself with the noises that Yeon was making last night. The girl could barely hold myself up halfway though and I knew she was feeling sore. But we were new people now, just Seon-Ho and Yeon, and I needed to know that she was on my side before I gave her everything she wanted.

"I...was going to bring you home tonight and tell you everything about your memories. I was going to sneak you away from the palace and put you in a separate accommodation. But you won't get anything from me if you start telling me lies, especially after what we just did." "Seon-Ho..." "If you do not tell me the truth, I will leave you here without my protection and I will not claim you until you have come to your senses." "Are you being..." "It isn't me that is doing this to us, you are. No more secrets, for either one of us starting from today. But you have to start first." I pulled her close into me before I stole a kiss or two from her before I made my way to the morning assembly. "For you Yeon, I will give up everything, so give me a reason to do it." "Everything?" "Everything."