Chapter 85: Yeongyeoldeon Kkum (Connected Dreams)

I had just been released from my charge against the third prince, but I was to resume my duties in the Genral Inspectors office until the results of the kidapping case had come to light. My team had just caught a gang of men who were being bribed for the eunuch exams for the palace after days of planing, stakeouts and research. I never used to really pay attention to how many days I spent away from home but now I couldn't help myself I had just gotten into bed and started thinking about her all over again. Despite the dates I had been on with Hui-Jee, I still couldn't get what I had done with Yeon out of my mind. I really should stop torturing her like I have done and I shouldn't cross that line again. I just craved a single moment of bliss, of happiness and I had gotten a lot more than that, and I suddenly couldn't hope but to compare the two women. Hui-Jee was mature, Yeon acted like a woman when she wanted to but she still had that childish air about her that constantly wanted attention from me and only myself. She liked to laugh and play childish pranks randomly whist Hui-Jee was a little stiff and it was hard for her to smile after what she must have gone through in Hwi's absence. Yeon was attentive, caring and nurturing whilst Hui-Jee was a little demanding and throughly knew her likes and dislikes. But Yeon lived in her own world and was refreshingly different, whilst Hui-Jee lived in a competitive environment where everyone followed the same beauty trends and strived to be the best at it.

I soon fell asleep in the midst of my thoughts, only to be rudely awoken to a dream I was having about the day I got drunk with Hui-Jee the last time I was free, and we tried something that just wasn't working whilst being intoxicated. I wasn't as embarrassed or as upset as I thought I would be though, unlike Hui-Jee who could barely look at me at the time. I rememberer making up some excuse on how I wasn't going to treat her like a kisaeng and that I wanted to marry her before we did anything of that nature. Then what on earth possessed me to act drunk and started kissing Yeon instead? What gave me so much confidence to cross that line? And why did I even begin to miss her in Hui-Jee's presence? Beojji. That was what Yeon tasted like and smelt of when I foolishly kissed her in front of everyone, very sweet and fragrant beojji. When I ventured out on this work trip, I made sure to buy a very big bunch of cherries that unfortunately only lasted on the journey there.

I dreamed of that day and exactly how it went, except for the fact that I never left the brothel. I was still with Hui-Jee and still trying when I was suddenly disturbed by the sound of Yeon's voice that seemed to permeate through the walls of the room that we were in. It genuinely scared me to the point where I could feel the colour drain from my face even thinking about if Yeon had caught me with another woman. But then I saw her in front of me as clear as day, making her way into our room without glancing at me even once. But what shocked me even more was the fact that she was followed into the room...by myself. But it was a form of myself that I couldn't recognise. I...I was smiling. Quite widely as well, which was so unlike me. Even to this day, I do not think that I have ever smiled like that in my entire life. And my hair was totally out like hers as well, which was something that I never did.

I was totally transfixed on this scene that was appearing in front of me where Yeon was wearing an outfit that fitted her so well that I could see everything; how slender and fair she was, even without makeup. It confirmed everything that I had been secretly fantasising about ever since that night, and I was more than pleased. And so was the other form of myself that had just sat down when Yeon ordered a small feast for the both of us. She fed me well, she served me my drinks and she was fantastic company; her childish nature was doing everything she could possibly do to make me laugh and blush until dinner was over. We then both lay down with full bellies and just spent a few silent moments in each other's company, until Yeon secured herself in my arms she started kissing me just as much as I did that night, if not more! She wad just kissing me like it was the most natural thing in the world to do...she kissed me like she owned me. And the other me certainly felt the same way when Yeon suddenly placed herself in my lap and began to gently undress me as if was the woman in this relationship! I in turn did the same thing to her in a less than gentle manner until we suddenly stared acting like unrestrained and untamed animals. Never in my life did I think that such pleasure existed, at least not to the extent that I was now witnessing for myself for the first time. I had my full, which left us both breathless and in awe of one another. But what I was not expecting was for Yeon to suddenly climb on me for another round; Yeon with the most sensual body I have ever seen, Yeon who didn't leave an inch of my body untouched and Yeon who kept moaning and whispering for more, more of my attention and efforts until she nearly lost her damned voice. She couldn't keep her lips away from mine, she couldn't resist playing with my hair and she demanded her fair share of pleasure until she couldn't take it anymore. Simply the way she wouldn't let up off of me almost left me howling like a dog and barking for more. Up until this moment, I had been confident that I would marry Hui-Jee, but seeing myself happy and free with Yeon was something that I could only dream of even when I was with her in the brothel. We acted like we owned each other, and seeing how Yeon dared to take charge of me and accomplish it...I do not think that I could possibly have this with Han Hui-Jee; no matter how she treated me now, our past still stung me badly.

I woke up shortly afterwards in shock of the dream I just had and in a less than favourable position when I saw that...my body had also reacted to the dream as well. I immediately had to get to the nearby river and bathe myself with a new set of clothes. And I was doing just that again when I suddenly heard her voice surround me again and calling to me as if she was nearby. I was completely frozen on the spot and fully naked in the river when I felt a hand wrapped around my waist and her scent closet my neck. It was enough to make me tremble as Yeon eventually showed herself to me just as naked as she was in my dreams and it was too much for me to handle. But Yeon wasn't letting me go, no matter how startled I was. It wasn't fair at all, why did she have to change so much? Why couldn't she just stay the ay she was? Why did she have to cause so much confusion and chaos in my life? Why did she have to move me to the extent that she did, especially after I had finally attained Hui-Jee's affections for me? Why did she constantly draw me to her.

"Seon-Ho...why did you kiss me that day?" I swore on everything that meant something to me that I tried my hardest not to look up on her slim naked body, but the temptation was too hard to resist. She was so beautiful, so sensual that my body betrayed me once again and seemed to have a life of it's own. As restrained as my life was, I really had no idea that I was capable of acting like an amorous ignoramus, but here I was pulling my childhood friend close enough to me to do as I wished.

"I...you know that I was drunk that night, and..." "If you were drunk then how could you have even remembered what you did?" She laughed at me and I was well and truly caught, but that was nothing compared to what she said next. "Why did you poke holes in my windows? Why do you torture me so? Why do you still keep me by your side even though you have attained your lover?" "I...I didn't..." "Why do you keep crossing the lines between us? Why do you treat me as a possession of yours? Why do you have to touch me as much as you can?" "Stop it! You...it is because you seduced me! You keep trying to do it and..." "Seon-Ho, why is your heart beating out of your chest?" She asked me innocently as she placed a hand that I had never felt to be so soft before in my entire life on top of my heart whilst her other hand has started to caress me in the water as no-one had ever done. I was beginning to loose myself in whatever was going on right now and I couldn't...this was wrong...this couldn't happen. "Stop it...please stop it." I was almost out of breath and begging for her to stop giving me more pleasure than my virgin body can handle. "You look at me with same intentions, but I cannot do the same to you? That isn't fair..." "I said stop!" Seon-Ho, you are the one who is dreaming about me right now, I am not doing anything wrong." She replied playfully as she began to physically cling onto me like I had scarcely hoped before. Her lips were on my neck, my face and my ears and her hands were everywhere else.

"Answer my questions, or I will not let you go." "I...have nothing to say to y..." before I could finish my sentence, her lips were on top of mine in exactly the same way that mine were last time but with more force. Not even Hui-Jee had ever kissed me that way before, but it was enough to make me surrender to her completely. Not even my father possessed me to this degree and I swore many years ago that nobody ever would. But for Yeon, I had already broken too many rules to count for her. I could watch her all day long and find peace in her beholden manner without a single word of complaint. No matter what situation Yeon was put in, she just went with it without making any loud scenes and yet she managed to escape unscathed all of the time. And she was the only one who could touch me and be close to me to her heart's content without worrying about rank, money or dangerous gossip about getting close to a lowlife like myself...

"Seon-Ho...do you love me? Is that why you have done all of this?" That one question gave me the strength to break free from her grip and run all the way back to my bed and hide myself under the blanket until it was time to go home. But I wasn't going to check on Yeon anymore, I couldn't. I have already crossed so many lines but this couldn't go on until Hwi...took her away from me. I was not allowed to see her until this case came to an end, and it was killing me. Only Yeon could answer my questions and set me free from the pain of my family whilst they were still locked up in the palace, even if I wasn't allowed to see her.

I couldn't quite believe that I was saying this, but it was almost worse than loosing Hwi in some ways. Now more than ever, I had realised that I needed my own person, and it had unwittingly become Yeon, despite my heart going out to someone else. All I did know that Yeon wasn't a sister to me anymore...but if she wasn't a sister to me, then who was she? A friend? An acquaintance? Companion? Intimate confidant? For the love of god, why did she have to have a new personality now? Why did she have to bloom into womanhood right in front of my eyes? And why was she so damned beautiful? And why couldn't I control myself around her? I was nowhere near like this when I was around Hui-Jee so why? I wasn't curious about her body compared to Yeon's, I didn't think about Hui-Jee's intellect, and yet I was letting Yeon read through my books and create essays and debates and...and that was it. That was all it could be. Now that I was out of my home and away from Yeon, all I could think about was Hwi and what I had put him through. But I needed time to figure out a plan to keep everyone safe to reunite the Seo's, to win over my woman and keep my place in the palace whilst trying to find out a way to distance myself from my father and his family name. With the confidence that Yeonnie had given me over the years, I was more than ready to stand on my own feet now.