Chapter 65: Isanghan (Peculiar)

I couldn't face or talk to anyone, not that there was anyone for me to talk to. I ran straight to Ihwaru, ignoring the kisaengs and I instantly barked for bottles of liquor to be sent to my room and I drank until I couldn't see straight. I wanted to be knocked out of my senses for as long as I could, trying not to think about what on earth I had done to receive this kind of life where had no control over anything, not even my own fate or future. Why couldn't I get anything I wanted the easy way? Why did I have to fight for ever single scrap of happiness? Where were my loved ones now when I needed them? Driven away by myself and my father. And just what did my father expect? For us to live with himself and Yeon who he wasn't willing to let go until he got a few more services from her brother who was now gambling with his own life for her? And now how on earth was I going to face Yeon now when I needed her the most? Was I just supposed to shrivel up and die, unloved and unwanted? My father had well and truly killed any chance of anything happening with myself and the one person in this world that truly loved me sincerely and would never want to leave my side form the bottom of my heart. I barely figured out how to repair my relationship with Hwi and now it was going to look like I was pushing Yeon out of my life with this crazy woman attached to my god-damned hip everywhere I went.

The Seo's and my role in the palace were not the only problems that I had; how on earth was i to rid myself of that concubine now without Yeon's help? No matter how helpful she had become to me, i still had to respect her brother's wishes no matter what circumstances we were facing. And now what do i say to Yeon? Thank you for your help, but I no longer need you? So what? Return to my mother's quarters and just rot there until i come up with my next move to free us all from this hellhole that we were living in and keep my job in the palace at the same time? And keep my father from killing us all when the Seo's had served their purpose? What do i do? And how do i do this all at the same time? I no longer had Dal by my side as he was now dead set on chasing Yeon around to exact some sort of revenge on me. Very well, Yeonnie was too clever not to see through his tricks and even after everything i had been through, I still would not want to find myself at the end of Hwi's fist when he found out what Dal was up to.

I barely had a sip before i felt someone come up slowly behind me, and there was only one person I knew who's footsteps were that small and delicate. "Seon-Ho? Are you ok?" How? How did you find me, Yeon? Did you look for me after you couldn't find me after work? Did you know that I was upset? How? Did you even leave my father's home? Yeon, I am more sorry to you that you can ever even imagine. I'm sorry that I am holding so much from you, I am sorry that I cannot tell you what you are dying to know...please forgive me...

But it wasn't Yeon this time. In fact, it was the very last person that I had ever expected to approach me and without a hint of hatred in her eyes for me for the very first time...in years. I was honestly too stunned to speak and I had no idea how to react when Han Hui-Jee of all people made her way over to me with an unusually worried look on her face that I certainly was not used to at all. She even...she even placed her hand onto my shoulder, as she sat right down next to me and so closely that I could feel her breathe on my skin. It was all very sudden and I had suddenly started panicking out of nowhere. What should I say? What should I do? Do I tell her about Hwi? Where has she been? What happened to her? What the hell do I do...

"Er...um....here, have a drink...with me." "You haven' changed much, you still stutter when you talk to me." Her smile made me smile and it put me at ease for once. She hadn't changed her looks or her scent at all, and she still wore a lot of pink, unlike Yeon who had been wearing a lot of blue recently...

"...Seon-Ho? Seon-Ho? Are you listening to me?" "I'm sorry?" "I was trying to apologise to my behaviour towards you all this time. I know that your father is the one who is pulling all of the strings and making you even go against your own best friend. Life must be rough for you right now."

Never in my wildest dreams could I have even expected Hui-Jee to understand what I was going through since she had so much hostility against me despite us only knowing each other for less than a week. I really didn't know what was going on today, but all I could do was to go with the flow and enjoy this rare time away from home for as much as I could before I had to leave and face the reality of my life.

I am warning you Seon-Ho, i will kill you with my bare hands before I let you use her for your dirty work like you are doing to me. Do you understand me? With her intelligence and wit, my sister deserves to be someone's husband who can help support her dreams if she wasn't disabled! My father had suitors from noble families lining up for her hand just before his death! So i will be damed if you even think of using her to make up for what you lack...fine, if everyone wanted me to stay away from Yeon, then i could only find myself a temporary replacement. Hwi hadn't mentioned his lover in a long time, but even i knew he would trade even myself for his precious sister. But I couldn't sulk about it anymore, in fact, i found myself in the same position now. For all the so-called wealth and prestige that i once chased, i was now pretty sure that i would trade it all for the peace and sanity that his sister gave me. But i still had to make sure that Hwi was ok with this before i continued any further with her. It wasn't like he was going to keep me away from his sister forever.

"I...Hui-Jee..." "So, how is life in the palace? What is your work like? How much do you earn? And are you really as close to the Emperor himself as everyone who comes into this brothel talks about?" God only knows what possessed me to open my mouth and talk about everything that had gone on in the palace for hours on end. Maybe it was due to loneliness, depression or desperation, but I already had a bad feeling straight afterwards that I didn't have time to think about, since the concubine came bursting in all of a sudden and ruined the entire atmosphere. She actually had the audacity to forget her beloved status to step foot into the brothel and create a big scene in which she actually kicked everyone out in order to have 'a private audience' with myself and Hui-Jee, who didn't look in the least perturbed at all. She just winked at me quickly before she returned to her seat and just smiled patiently at the concubine, who looked like she was ready to rip her hair out.

I had witnessed a fair share of catfights before between women, and both myself and Hwi learned the hard way to just keep quiet and stay well out of it. I really couldn't believe that this was happening right here and now, on the one day that I never thought would come. Why? God, why me? Why did everyone around behave to ruin everything that I wanted? Why did everything think that they have the right to control me? I have been chasing Hui-Jee for so long, and she finally not only forgave me, but she was the first woman to spend hours with me, she listened to me talk and she kept me company for no reason at all. And now this woman was about to drive Hui-Jee away just as my father took me mother from me and now he was doing the same thing to Hwi.

*****************

I had been humiliated ,I had been shamed and I had been grounded to the Nam yangban for long enough now. I was still surely about the last conversation that I had with my man when I got sent word that the bitch he liked had come back into his life. I had already done my part to ensure his stability in his own home through my unborn child, but I was not going to let him bring any other woman home until my baby was born, which was only a few weeks away. I wasn't going to let a lowly prostitute distract him, so I immediately made my way to the brothel while silently hoping and praying hat I had been given the wrong information. I was the sister-in-law of a prince for goodness sake, why on earth would such a handsome and promising young man such as him even look at a girl who had been probably passed around to every man in the village? Where was his common sense?

But when I indeed find myself outside of that filthy brothel, and I saw with my own two eyes how drunk she had gotten him, i knew that I had a real problem on my hands. "My Lady? May I be of service to you?" "You bitch! I sent you to the palace myself, so how..." "Luckily for me, the Queen herself took a liking to me after you had me kidnapped and sent to the palace. She herself picked me out from service and made me one of her servants for a while. And I guess she was impressed with me enough to let me go after a few terms of service." She had me there and she knew it; as powerful as my sister was, she could never compete with the Queen herself. Not even the prince could say or do anything to his father's favourite wife, but that didn't mean that I was going to let things go. I immediately ordered my men to grab her and start slapping her in the mouth until she couldn't take it anymore, which wiped that arrogant smile off of her face once and for all. I then looked over at the man who was just today pronounced to be my fiancé was just stood frozen on the spot in horror. "Please! Stop it! Do not hurt her! Let her go!" Those were the words that I had expected to hear, and I wasn't let down in the least. But I really couldn't help but to notice that something wasn't right about his somewhat delayed reactions. Maybe it was because he was drunk and his eyes were glazed over, but I had also witnessed him being drunk around the epileptic girl and he was a lot more intense around her then this slut who had bewitched him long ago. He always had his eyes on Yeon and he was always considerate of her, more so than he was being now. In fact, he wouldn't let me get too close to her despite my various efforts and now... "You sent her to the palace? What on earth are you talking about? Stop it! Do not harm her!"

"You need not worry about it! I have just sent your cousin away and i could do the same now with this slut who intends to take you away from me!" "Just what the hell are you...wait, what? What did you just say? My cousin...where is she! What have you done to her! Tell me!" "Do not fret, she is with her beloved Dal while you drink away with a prostitute here who has probably serviced 1000 men before you even step foot here at all!" Yeon, she was let loose in her old neighbourhood....no, I needed to find her before she ran into her brother. She could not regain her memories without me, or she may do something impulsive that would cost us all of our lives...