Chapter 56: Bulhwagsilhan (Uncertain)

She would have slapped me if the Young Master didn't arrive in that moment with an indifferent look on his face as he just walked past me without acknowledging me at all once again. I was on my knees at this point and he just didn't do anything. "Young Master!" "What has happened now?" "Husband, I have never endured such anger before! That unruly orphan girl has such a loose tongue and dares to talk back to me every time I have something to say to her! All of this is because you and your father indulge her too much!" "She only said a few words, what on earth is there to cry about? People have said much worse and I have never cried before. It isn't some grand incident, so have some decorum please for once in your life." "I...this may not be a grand event to you, but there are rules and etiquette in place for a reason." "Says the maid who climbed into the bed of her Master to elevate her own status with some unknown child in her belly." At least the words that he said gave her the same effect of being slapped across the face as she did to me. Her mouth hung from how jaw so widely before she burst into tears that made us both completely uncomfortable. "But...but my punishing her isn't in discord with the rules of seniority! I only said a few things to her and she..." "For the love of god! How many times do I have to sit here with you and hear you complain about my own family member! All you do is complain like a miserable witch when you have everything everyone could ever dream of in this household! What more do you want! What more do you need! What will satiate your ever growing greed! What do you want from me!"

I saw it coming before anyone else; he was going to work himself up in a rage and then have a near heart attack if he kept taking in all of the pressure from every single angle before I could even get to him with my own questions about my brother. But I still needed to take care of him and make sure that he was well enough to function normally like a normal man. So I didn't hesitate to run over to him and just throw my arms around him from behind without hesitation. "Please calm down. I am sorry, it is all my fault why you are so angry. Please calm down, I cannot survive this here without you. I am sorry, please forgive me." That seemed to do the trick after chanting the same words for 5 minutes or so whilst the concubine was still stuck on her little rant about me. "...what about all of the compromises that I have had to make here? Doesn't that count for anything now anymore? Where can I complain? With whom can I talk to and confide in like you both...I am terrified if you believe in anything that she says about me and sow discord between us! She already bullies me and I cannot clear up my honour even if I had a hundred mouths..." "brother? Are you ok?" "...you never even visit me especially when we live together...what could have annoyed you so much about me already...." "I am fine Yeonna. Thank you. Go on and sort out the food stalls then come right back here to these quarters to clean up a bit since my so-called concubine and her servants have no idea how to clean up their own mess." "Young Master! You cannot let her go after she just..." "She can carry on her punishment afterwards, but as soon as all of the mess and chaos is cleared up in our courtyard, the better is it for all of us. Get this done as soon as possible so we can all resume our duties." "Is there anything else that you need before I leave?" "I have some more books for you to read waiting for you in our quarters." 'Our quarters? Our?' Did he really just say that? In front of everyone? "I...thank you." "And Yeon?" "Yes?" "Do not forget that you cannot step outside unless it comes to your monthly days out. If you need to run any errands then have the servants do it." "But..." "No buts Yeon and I mean it, or I will never let you do this again." "Ok, I understand." At least I got him to calm down, because it had been long overdue to put my efforts and attention on somebody else for a change. And i was only getting this chance to Seon-Ho being busy at work with Sung-Rok or I would have probably never been able to get away from him at all.

I was still thinking about that curly-haired servant whom I was sure was my brother when I noticed the concubines servants running away hurriedly from the kitchen store room just as the porridges and soups were being made. The concubine wasn't able to get her way with me once again, so I couldn't be too surprised if she was still trying to find ways to mess this up for me as well. And usually, I would go out of my way to repay 'the favour', but she was already crying hysterically and she was pregnant, so I couldn't get back at her the way that I used to. And I had my 'brother's health on the line to think about and that was far more important to me than she could ever be to me. So I tried to act as normal as not to give myself away as I rummaged through the bags of rice that we had, only to discover mouldy rice in each bags underneath a fine layer of good quality rice that we had. Thank goodness that porridge wasn't the only thing that we were giving away, otherwise I would have been in some serious trouble. But I was still angry enough not to let them get away with this. So I marched over back to my old quarters to summon the concubines servants in front of Seon-Ho who was busy with some reports to help me since all of the servants part from the kitchen maids were given a day off especially.

"Are you back already?" "Brother, I need some help with the bags of rice." "The concubines servants, they are pretty much useless here anyways." "Young Master!" "Thank you. Come on then, we need to shift the bags to the kitchen, whilst I just retrieve something from my room." The look on their face was well worth restraining my anger, for now anyways. They knew I was leaving them alone with the rice and if any unfavourable incidents occurred, then they would become liable to reap the consequences of their own actions without me having to do anything at all. I, on the other hand, went straight into the kitchens and started prepping new food especially for my brother and his friends whilst I got my own maid to investigate exactly what was going on with the mouldy rice.

In my early days here I ended up throwing up almost every meal that I had because I was not used to the delicacies at all, and now I had an idea why that was. But at the same time, I wasn't going to give them the servant's meals either. I packed some small amounts of beef and steamed vegetables for them along with some noodles to keep them going for a while. I just hoped that he liked it and the young master didn't overly praise my food for nothing at all. The man usually ate everything that I left for him anyways so this shouldn't be a problem at all.

"Young Mistress? I found various jugs of rice vinegar in the servant's quarters." "I thought so. Ok, I want you and the rest of my servant to conduct a raid in their quarters and do not be sneaky about it. Try to make as much noise as possible." "I do not understand..." "if merchants pour rice vinegar into water that washes the rice, it only removes the mouldy smell and not the toxicity. It will kill anyone who eats it." "But what about the food!" "I have already told the kitchen maids to stop making porridge but I am making them stand near the food that is already made to catch them out in case anyone wants it. Let us see how they will react when they are the one serving the food. By the way, remember who we need to look out for." "There is no need for that young mistress, he is already here near the front of the queue!" "Really? Already? Wait, do I look alright? I do not stink of food, do I? Is my dress ok? I tried on my most simple dress so it doesn't look...arrogant. I didn't put on too much makeup either." "Young Mistress...." "What is it? Why has your face gone all pale? Are you ill?" All of a sudden she looked like she was looking at a ghost behind me and I really couldn't figure out what was wrong with her until I suddenly caught a glimpse of the one person who's face I really didn't expect to see now of all times through a steel cooking pan. And he was just standing on the spot almost 5 feet away from me and I had no idea how to react either in that moment. My servant tried to steer him away but it wasn't working, I tried to busy myself with the cooking and he just came over after starting me for a full ten minutes and took the food for himself. It was one of the most awkward and intense situations that we had ever been in so far, but when I placed my hand gently on top of his to stop him from taking everything that I had just poured my heart and soul into, he lost it. He took a tray of piping hot tea cups and he smashed it on the floor without even thinking of himself. And neither did I when I pushed him aside before he could scald himself senselessly.

"Just what do you think you are doing! Why did you do that!" He kept his mouth shut as usual but his face said it all; he was terrified for me to ask him any questions at all. So there was nothing that he could do apart from trying to storm off when all of a sudden we could hear utter chaos erupting from outside. I completely forgot about the food that I was cooking and we all ran outside to see that the servants had lost control and were getting frustrated at the concubines servants who refused to hand out the porridge that the kitchen maids spent hours working on early in the morning. And just when the Young Master found himself being pulled in all directions, I caught a glimpse of the man and his friends specifically looking for me. Up until this point; I had never come close enough to the man to take a really good look at his face, but I had managed to walk closer to him today at an angle where he couldn't see me. I still couldn't remember that I had a brother, but when I saw how similar we looked, I could feel my heart slip from my chest all the way down to my feet. All of this time, I felt as if I had been neglecting something important, and now I could feel angry hot tears burning down my cheeks and my whole body tremble in a deep sense of guilt that I had never felt before. Someone was going to pay for doing this to us and very soon, I would make sure of that.