Chapter 53: Uisim (Doubts)

The very first thing that I couldn't help but to notice was that he was in pain. Again. And there was no explanation for it. Again. And there was still no explanation as to why I was the only person who could see it and sense it when there was a so-called pregnant concubine in the room, but I couldn't ignore, no matter how hard I tried. Here I was, trying to figure out a way for me to get extra punishment so that I can have some freedom outside and find that man, but the Young Master was all I could think of, even when I didn't want to. "And why won't they listen to a servant? Weren't you one? Before you miraculously got yourself pregnant?" "How dare you talk to me that way you.." "What? Me what? A free woman who is just on punishment? Or a servant who climbed her way into her Master's bed?" "Yeon! Cut it out! What is the matter with you!" Well I wasn't expecting him to shout at me even though I should have seen it coming. What was I doing? I was trying to provoke her, but he just had to step out in front of us and tower over me. I was trembling so badly that I was barely able to stand myself up if he didn't almost push me against the wall. "Will you finally punish her now for me? You cannot let her get away with such insolence...." "What are you doing?" The concubines voice began to fade out the closer he came to me with no hint of hesitation at all. "And since when do you care what I am doing?" "So that is what this is about?" "Now what are you talking about?" "You are throwing some sort of hissy fit after the way that I spoke to you the last time and now you are pulling this act? For what? Is my attention that you want? Or an apology from me? Because you will never get one, not from me."

This pompous, arrogant, conniving little...where on earth did he get the idea that I was jealous from? Was he being serious right now? God, there were just sometimes that I wanted to just shake him back into his senses. What on earth made him so confident that I was so head over heels for him? When I clearly was not..."What are you both doing? Why are you standing so close together? And in front of my baby as well? Well? Why are you..." "We were just privately discussing your large expense ever since you moved in here. And I was just explaining to the young master here that we should sensibly convert the surplus food into extra stipends for the servants instead. So that the rations for their limited goods like the monthly mung-bean soup will be provided more regularly." "Yeon..." "isn't that what you want, Young Master? For the servants to be treated well so they can provide you with a better service in return?""Well...I suppose that will save us some money..." "...and everyone will get to have a fair share." "Are you talking sense? I am heavily pregnant right now and I need all of the delicacies that I can get for the new heir of this household..." "I said that Yeon is absolutely right! Stop trying to go against everything that she says and does for once in your life." "Are you really going to keep spoiling her like this!" "Yes...and Yeon will be the one to oversee it as you keep complaining about having to walk everywhere heavily pregnant." "And I want Dal to help me." "Over my dead body!" "And why is that? Isn't he also a servant whose duty it is to help us out in such circumstances? Unless you are willing to take time off in the palace just to help me set this up?" Why do you always act this way whenever I bring up Dal's name? You were the one who placed him near me in the first place...

********************

Will you stop looking at me so...directly? You have alway done that, it is as if you can see right through me. Stop looking at me with that pained expression on your face, stop fighting the world when you know that I will always be here to back you up, even at the risk of my own life..."Go back to our quarters, I still have some things to discuss with Yeon." Husband!" "Go!" I barked at her before ordering the servants to take her back by force if necessary. I then sat down in front of Yeon with absolutely no idea of how to get a handle of her at all. Her brother had never in his life disciplined her, so what was I supposed to do about her outrageous behaviour? Unless...

"Are you not feeling well? Why has your face gone all red? Shall I get the medial box?" "No! Don't worry about that right now." "Are you sure?" "Explain what happened tonight, or you are not allowed to leave this room!" Immediately regretted saying that when I saw her raise her eyebrow so slickly with that smirk on her face once again that made me blush even harder, if that was possible. I had to storm outside and wash my face a few times before I returned, only to catch her sneaking out behind my back ed handed. "Where do you think you're going?" "Don't you know how late it is? Women get wrinkles when they stay up this late, you know. Goodnight then...." She almost successfully managed to walk past me if I didn't trip her up with my foot purposefully. "Hey! You can't just bully me because I am smaller than you, you know!" I could only roll my eyes and scoff at the scene that she was causing just to evade me, but I could only put up with it for so long. She forced me to take her by the arm and drag her back to her quarters after everyone had retired for the night. "Seo Yeon, how are you acting so self-assured even now? Why are you doing your best to make sure you get into trouble? Do you have any idea who you are up against! Can you imagine if I didn't show up here tonight!" "Why are you shouting? Why do you get so flared up at these small things? And why is she still here!" "You know why..." "I know that isn't your baby. You...have never slept with her, have you? And that is what she is holding against you, isn't it?"

There was a period of silence between us that seemed to resonate throughout the entire residence, although she was the only other person who acknowledged this. At first, her all-knowing attitude used to annoy me even though I could never fully express it. Maybe it was because I always kept her age in mind and we weren't really that close before I lost her brother. But now it was relief that I was feeling, especially since my own father was now pressuring me to marry the girl officially to take her in as my concubine. Everyone around me had fallen for the concubines trick and honestly, I found myself half-hoping that Yeon herself would believe it so it would be easier for us to keep our distance from each other. But here she was in front of me, once again, understanding almost everything that I was going through without having to say a word at all. And if this carried on, she was going to indirectly make me more attached to her than I was almost becoming, and it was going to be harder on the both of us when her brother eventually took her away from me. So once again, I had to try and be the bad man for the greater good, even though I really didn't know what I was capable of pulling off in front of her anymore.

"Why...actually, it is ok if you don't say anything at all. It isn't any of my business anyways. So, can I go and see Dal now?" "Already? Can't you live without him?" "Yes, that is right, I cannot live without him and that is why I keep bringing him up. It isn't like you were the one who placed him with me in the first place." "Why are you doing this? You know that my family doesn't do things like this and you expect it all to work out in a single day?" "I just think that this would help you. Do you not want the servants on your side? Then this is what you have to do. In order to keep any ally at all, you have to treat them well. And now that you take taken down the concubine's Master, you have taken on more of your work responsibility and have achieved a stable footing in the palace. So what else is there to do?" "That is as far as you go Yeon." "What do you mean?" "I thank you for your help but now I have things under control. The neighbouring Young Master is only the first person in a long list of my father's allies to go through before I fully secure myself in the palace. And then I can get us both out of here." "And how long will that take? Weeks? Or years?" "I am working as fast as I can." "But not fast enough, and that is because you refuse to let anyone else help you." "and can you blame me? Who else can I trust?" "Me and you know it." "Do you think that I can just take you to the palace with me?" "Why not? You can just take me in the disguise of a maid and take me there." "Is that your plan? To help me for the rest of my life?" "And why not? Helping you means to help myself and..." "and what?" "And watch the concubine fail." "And how do you know that she will fail? She is currently carrying out her own plans successfully." "I just know." "How?" 'That isn't for men to know, only women know how to counter each other." "How? What does that even mean?" "You are not a fool, Young Master, you know that she has set her mind against me ever since she saw you favouring me over her." "Who says I favour you over anyone?" "So why have I been getting into so much trouble then? And the concubine clearly likes you, a lot, and of course someone of her new status wouldn't allow the man she likes to show partiality to another woman, despite my age and social background. I knew that she wanted to harm me when she pushed us both into the water. And now I want her to suffer a little, what is wrong with that? What on earth are you really angry about? She walked away without either of us being punished, the maids were caught pulling the pranks and justice was served, your father isn't angry at you, so why can't you just let this go?"

"Are you a fool or what? Do you really think that she will just leave you alone after this? What about in the future when she does more things to you? And I am not here to protect you?" "Who says I need your protection? When it comes to other women at least, I can handle myself." "But her position..." "...is higher than mine? And therefore I need to shake and crumble at her feet and beg for mercy? Says who?"