Chapter 52: Geoli (Distance)

A few days later, I first began to notice that things from my quarters were being misplaced or stolen, then the things that were being delivered to my door were still in such poor quality that I was still forced to cook and clean by myself and carry out my own chores. I didn't mind in the least though, as I regained my sense of independency, and it seemed to bother Nam-Jeon, which did give me a small amount of pleasure. But after our last encounter, he didn't bother me again, so I had nothing to fear at all. But when the Young Master caught me washing my own clothes and hanging up my laundry, he left me completely speechless with how petty he was being about the whole issue. Not only did he leave me to do my own chores, I had to carry out his own as well, and this man had a lot of things to be cared for. He had enough clothes for 3 commoner families, he had his books that constantly needed dusting, his scrolls that couldn't be touched, his expensive ink set that he gifted himself and he even made me look after his horse exclusively since he didn't have the time to do it himself anymore. But he was still evading my questions I had about my memories and his behaviour and always came up with various excuses as to why he broke the laws and brought a common girl to live with him. And I was getting sick of it.

But during the day I still had to interact with the maids if I wanted to eat, and our interactions were getting more and more interesting. And if I wasn't being accusing of seducing the Young Master who still sometimes wouldn't let me near him even if we were in the same room, then I was being accused of stealing their work from them. I had no idea that the Young Master actually went so far as to dock everyone's pay, nobody told me anything that happened in his home. But I could tell that they were up to something, and I needed to find a way to protect myself before I got kicked out of the only shelter that I had for now.

But the maids and the mysterious man were not the only problems that I had; probably over a year after the war in Liadong ended, the Nam's started receiving some very prestigious guests that I wasn't allowed anywhere near. For weeks on end all I could hear from quarters were heavy carriages marching their way outside of the residence, footsteps making their way in and out of the main house which I still didn't have access to, and I could smell all of the delicious food that I could never even hope to taste in this lifetime. Originally, I thought that this was a good thing for the Nam's, and Nam-Jeon certainly couldn't keep his smile off of his face. But the Young Master had changed once again; every time he came out of these meetings, he looked more and more depressed. It was like he was being forced to partake in whatever it was that the noble class did to make themselves thrive and he wasn't happy about it at all. Honestly....he looked just as miserable as I felt deep down inside, but no matter how hard I tried, he still wouldn't let me approach him during this time for reasons that I could not understand all of a sudden.

But seemed that he had an entirely different personality outside of the home, especially when I caught him trying to talk to a very pretty kisaeng who seemed to have nothing but pure hatred for him. She humiliated him and cursed at him more than anyone that I had ever seen, not even he neighbours who insulted him when they saw him were that venomous towards him. It broke my heart to see this never mind hearing it, but what made me really very angry at him was the dejection he felt and he still tried his very best to woo her with everything that he had. I had no idea why his personal life affected me so much, but it got to the point where I was hiding myself in my room despite the various summons that I got so I didn't feel the pain I did whenever I saw him from now on. I was able to get away with ignoring him for a day or two, but that was all that he could seem to handle. The next day I came back from the kitchen only to find him going through my poetry books violently, to the point where he was ripping the pages apart.

"You girls really like this stuff don't you? I still remember the poem you read to me in the kitchen before I left for the war. What was that all about?" His voice sounded strained, he looked as if he hadn't slept and he had the nerve to sit on my bed so I had no chance of hiding myself even if I wanted to. This man went on and on about observing etiquette and yet here he was shamelessly siting in the the most intimate area in this entire room with a smirk on his face. But despite the farce he was putting on, he still looked beaten down, but I had already tried everything that I could to help him and he kept rejecting me every time, so what on earth was he doing here? What did he want from me? If he didn't want me to approach him since he was so in love with the other girl, then why not treat me as his father did and just leave me alone? Why was I still being called into his study just to waste my time?

So I kept my mouth shut and I went onto carrying out my chores as usual. But the Young Master kept blatantly provoking me by tearing apart my taste in poetry and how I kept acting like a maid, even though he kept saying that I had other choices in how to live my life. I had no idea what this man had been through because he never told me anything, but it was clear to me that right now he was looking for somebody to challenge him. Ok then, if it was a fight he wanted, then I would give it to him. It wasn't like I had anything else to do here.

"Poems are a form for which the classics can be passed down to us and teach us how to conduct ourselves in society. They retell history, and taking on history as a mirror helps avoid us making the same mistakes that out ancestors did. If you try to conquer others by force, you can only be described as boorish, no matter what your reasons are." "For someone who is an orphan like I am, you sure do put a lot of importance on the past with your constant talk of ancestors. You were the same, even before you lost your memories. And now I can see, that the only thing about you that has changed is your appearance. You are still a book-nerd, but you are a lot more eloquent now." There was absolutely no point in me retaliating to what he said at all, because I knew that he would find a way to change the topic of my past. I could only glare at him momentarily before I went back to my chores. But the image of his stupid smirk didn't leave my mind, and he knew it when he kept on provoking me.

"Well, I have read many books since childhood, and I am still not as rich as you in knowledge it seems." "What do you expect when you keep cramming so many books all night long, of course you won't understand anything." I pouted with my back turned to him. "Do you think that knowledge can really improve one's temperament?" "I do not know about you sir, but I would like to discuss the past and present with others. Including the classics, current life and the evolution in between." "And who would you talk about this with? Certainly not the man that you leave out food for. Or the manservant that you keep engaging in small talk with in full view of all of the servants?"

"Well at least somebody here does." I muttered in response, fully aware of the anger in his tone and still not being able to figure out why he was being such a jerk today. "What are you saying? That your needs aren't being met here? That we have mistreated you? That you are being ignored here?"

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From the way that she kept huffing and puffing behind my back, I could tell that I was getting under her skin. And it couldn't lie, it felt exciting, I hadn't had the chance to rile up anybody in such a long time and honestly, Yeon was holding up much better than I thought she would. Now that I think about it, she was never a fragile girl who broke into tears as soon as somebody raised their voice at her or gave her the wrong look. Apart from the flaws she had that were out of her control at the time, she was probably the strongest woman I had ever come across. She might even actually be a lot stronger than even....

I was lost in my memories of...that woman that I didn't even noice that Yeonnie had walked so close in front of me until I felt her breathe on my hand. "If this is supposed to be enough, then why are you always so sad and angry? Why aren't you thriving off of this 'so-called basic care'?".

She got me with that statement, and she knew it when she gave me the same smirk that I always gave to her. But I couldn't do anything about it yet, I couldn't stay for long in case one the guards came back and reported my presence here to my father. But before I could leave, the concubine had actually sent one of her servants to find me, and before I even had the chance to follow him, she had entered Yeon's quarters without even asking for permission.

"Young Master what on earth are you doing here? I have looked all around this home for you. Do you mean to make a pregnant woman walk so much that she might damage your unborn child?" "And who told you to look for me in the first place? If I am not in our quarters, then my absence must obviously be due to the fact that I am busy." "Doing what exactly? Conversing with the help?" "You..." "Actually, we were just going through the household accounts together. I knew that the job had been handed down to you, but you seem to have been neglecting it since your...pregnancy and your husband wanted me to start being in charge of the household again." "And why would anyone take orders from a servant herself?" In an instant, a war had broken out between the two women and there was not much that I could do, and not just because I was stuck between my lifetime friend and a crazy pregnant woman. Ever since we had both come out of that river, we were both not quite the same people that we were before all of this chaos started. I knew that there was something that Yeon was hiding from me that she was now trying to cover it up by provoking the concubine whenever she could, even though she knew what she was capable of now in her condition. I couldn't seem to make any sense of what she was doing but now was not the time to get close to her again, not at least I got rid of this concubine. That was what I had kept telling myself over and over again ever since that incident, and yet here I was in her- my quarters and arguing with her for no damned reason other to just simply see her again. If I didn't get my act together and remind myself why I had to bring her here in the first place, then I fear that I maybe responsible for more damage than I ever originally intended to create. Things were already tough with my father, Hwi and this concubine that I couldn't really seem to rid myself of. But...but it didn't matter how much pain I was in anymore, I should have known how brutal this was going to be from the start. I owed it to Yeon...and to Hwi to care for her. As long as I could protect Yeon, that would at least allow me to breathe a little better and set my mind at ease.