Chapter 50: Balgyeon (Discovery)

From that night on, my relationship with the Young Master was very on and off. There were times when we avoided each other to make sure that Nam-Jeon and the concubine didn't target us, and then there were times when he called me into his study for nonsensical things when he thought that I was getting too close to Dal. But it was starting to happen a lot more when a curly-haired man started making an appearance in the Nam residence. From the moment I first noticed him, he did seem a little familiar to me, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not remember him at all. We didn't approach each other straight away, but he always kept staring at me as soon as I was in his line of vision. He was almost as tall as the young master, but he was obviously very poor and it looked like he didn't bathe as much as he should have. And he was skinny, so unbearably skinny that I couldn't help but to leave out some of my food portions for him. I was never allowed to approach him and my 'security' seemed to have doubled since his arrival. But we did sort of develop a silent relationship over time where we indirectly looked out for each other since I sort of already knew that he didn't mean me any harm.

But the Young Master was not happy about it at all, in fact I couldn't help but to notice that he always found me something to do right where he could see me on the odd days that the man showed up, and did it with such an intense stare that there was nothing I could do about it at all, but my feelings about the Young Master were just getting more and more complicated at the same time. He was an impossible man to read, and yet I could feel deep down that he wanted something from me, but for the life of me I could not figure out what it was. And I started feeing like he frequented that brothel all over again just to escape all the tension in this yangban that was suffocating all of us. But he never stayed overnight and only stayed out for less than an hour, but god forbid if I didn't respond to his commands on time, he would throw a temper tantrum and find more 'chores' for me to do. But he didn't understand that every time he did this, he was incurring the jealousy of others since he had never gone out of his way to talk to anyone else in this home of his father's. A lot of the young maids had their eyes on him to help change their fortune, but whenever they tried to approach him, they would blame me for the rejection that they faced. Especially when I got transferred to his quarters just so I could have a room of my own, which was very spacious and cold indeed whilst he occupied his mother's quarters with the concubine. I had no idea what had happened to the maid's room, but I knew for a fact that my old quarters were too small for two people and no matter how erratically Seon-Ho was treating me, I still wished that he could just get what he deserved instead of compromising all of the time. I still had no idea what was taking so long with his plans, but if we were both free of his father, I bet that he would have worked hard enough on his own to have his own household where he could have enough rooms to do whatever he wanted to do with them...

"You are lost in thought a lot recently." "Stay away from me Dal." "Why?" "I have just finished grinding all of the Young Master's ink stones for hours on end after you invited yourself to dine with me in my quarters yesterday." "Well well, he really is becoming obsessed with you isn't he." "Shut up, he is just warning me to stay away from men as an unmarried woman, as he should..." "Apart from him though, right? He can go to brothels and flirt with whoever, he can have a pregnant concubine by his side and still find time to torture you, but you cannot be seen with any other man? Especially the new hire?" "You mean the curly-haired man that no-one speaks to me about at all?" "Yes?" "So, are you ever going to tell me about him? Since you are the one who likes to drop me these mysterious hints all of the time?" "And what are you willing to do to get those hints from me?" "Absolutely nothing at all." "Come on, are you still willing to stand by that man's side after everything he is putting you though?" "If he wanted nothing to do with me or if he hated me, why keep me around? Why do what he did for me?" "What are you talking about?" "You know what I am talking about." "No, I do not." "Are we really going to pretend that it wasn't the Young Master himself to set fire to the quarters so I could have his room?" "How are you so sure it was him? And why would a nobleman give up his luxurious room for a lowborn like yourself?" "So why would a nobleman such as himself take in a lowborn as myself without wanting anything in return? And why would you, a lowborn yourself who lords himself over others take such an interest in a lowborn such as me? Wouldn't marrying a noblewoman help you elevate your status?" "I have an eerie feeling that you are going to elevate all of our statuses, which is the only reason why he keeps you around." "Enough to give me his room? His quarters? His books? His art set? Why give me of all people such special treatment?" "That is what guilt does to a person I guess." "Excuse me? What are you mumbling about now?" "Nothing, come inside and I will treat you to dinner."

I was still unsure on how to proceed with Dal since I had tried everything in my power to distance myself from him, and nothing worked, even when I was getting punished for it. And the more that this happened, the more I was convinced that he was the one who was treating me like a possession rather than a person with really feelings. Even when the Young Masters temper really flared up, he did always try his level best to consider my feelings and always gave into me in the end anyways. But if I thought that I had just got out of trouble with everyone in this manor, then I was very sorely mistaken when I had almost every servant in the entire manor whispering about how 'somebody' had made this mistake of granting me a 'pepper painted room', which was a decorated room for newlyweds on their wedding night. And never in my life had I felt my face heat up in embarrassment before, I was blushing so badly that I had to run to the bathing area and wash my face with water to calm me down a little. But I didn't have time to see the Young Master meeting with one of Dal's personal servants that he kept around him all of the time secretly in a part of the manor that I had never really seen before. "Is it done?" "We were in a hurry to decorate the room for the Young Mistress on your behest, Young Master. We covered every inch of her room, not even your concubine has this honour. Yet." "Well wishes for a warm and prolific life..." "Young Master?" "Nothing, you shall be rewarded later on as promised." "But Dal..." "Dal is my servant, and any of his servants belong to the family who pays them, he should be reminded of this." "And what about the new hire..." "once Seo Hwi sees how his precious sister is being courted by a man-servant like Dal, he will be left to deal with him, as he should." "And what if the Young Mistress asks..." "She can ask until she is blue in the face, she won't get anything from me. Dal worked so hard to pit her against me, now let us see what happens when he is confronted with the truth."

His sister. Seo Hwi's sister. Seo. Seo Yeon. Was he...was he talking about the same Seo? No, he...why would he hide this from me? Did I...have a brother? Was that the person that I forgot in my memories? The person that Seon-Ho got emotional over? That one time? When he very nearly bit my head off...Hwi...Seo Hwi...who are you? Are you really my brother? And where have you been all of these years?

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Life with the Young Master had not been easy since we were both cramped up in his mother's quarters which he blamed me endlessly for stealing from his precious cousin in the first place. He acted as if I was the one who set fire to her quarters just when I had taken these ones from her and I could tell that he harboured suspicion in his eyes every time he saw me. Long were the days when he went off to work and then straight to bed without touching the food that I made for him or wearing the clothes that I spent my days sewing for him with nothing else to do. The only time that he paid attention to anything in our quarters was when he randomly called her over to carry out nonsensical chores in front of him that I could easily do if he just acknowledged me. But because we were so cramped in this room with barely any space to walk, he kept his papers and books in his study in his quarters, which he made her in charge of. They said that women; regardless if they were the main wife or a concubine, were supposed to help their husbands to advance in there careers. I had been here for almost two years and yet I had never even had a marriage ceremony before. And suddenly by mistake, a servant accidentally gave Yeon's new quarters the pepper painted room instead of my new quarters. What was it about this woman that made her so greedy as to take every single opportunity away from me, and yet gain respect from everyone around her? Never in all of my years of service have I witnessed so many servants clamouring to serve her. Or was I at fault for being short tempered with them as soon as my status had been elevated? Damned it, I should have kept all of my old friends about and keep my composure like she does. And constantly hounding her and blaming her for everything in public must have gotten old for both of the Nam's.

Maybe...maybe if I made amends with her one last time and visited her more often, maybe the Young Master would see me in a new light and pay more attention to me? He did treat her differently to everyone else so maybe...yes, if the only way I was going to get any acknowledgment in this household was through that manipulative little girl, then what did I stand to loose?

"...is that a custom-made pepper pained bed? Who would be so confused as to prepare it for the Young Master's quarters when he isn't there anymore? Unless he plans to carry out the wedding deed in the same bed that the Young Mistress sleeps in?" "He took the concubine's wishes to heart, and even went to the extent of learning about the bed decoration in folk marriages. He must hold her dear in his heart?" "Whom? The concubine? Or his cousin?" "It is such a relief after all of these years for him to finally find someone that he is comfortable with. He has made such exceptions for her as well, who knew that all of our lives would change when the Young Master took in that lowborn woman, and for the better as well." "But the concubines maids are not happy about it at all, and they keep spreading rumours that the Young Mistress cannot marry anyone due to her condition, so she spends her days flattering the Young Master instead." "They just cannot go a day being jealous of something or another." "The Young Mistress says that it is better to have an open enemy rather than a false ally." "I never thought he would be capable of treating someone so well before, he really exceeded our expectations." "He must be burning red hot in love now."

So this is what she was doing? Having her servants gossip insistently like this? And for what? Attention? To seduce her own cousin? No, that couldn't happen between family members, so what exactly was she trying to do? And where was my maid? Why did she disappear as soon I made her investigate what had happened to the Seo's? No, I let everything go on for too long and if no-one was going to discipline this orphan, then I guess that I would have to do it for this family before she brought us to ruin.