Chapter 49: Break (Buseojida)

But we forgot that we were surrounded by an audience and his father, and no-one was leaving the room until he dismissed us all. "We all will have dinner and talk like the concubine wants us to. There have been new...developments in our plans that we need to work out on." "What does that mean?" "Since Yeon is on punishment, your concubine has especially vacated her quarters for her." "What on earth are you talking about?" "The two women will switch quarters." "Excuse me? Nobody will use my other's quarters except for Yeon." "The maid's quarters will give Yeon a chance to bond with the servants as those quarters are not fit for a pregnant woman." "A pregnant woman? What on earth are you talking about..." "Well what do you think, genius? She isn't my concubine is she?"

Pregnant. The concubine who still hadn't left was now pregnant and because I was still on punishment, she saw this as an opportunity to steal the quarters that Seon-Ho entrusted me with. And because I was the one who emptied out the concubine's maid chambers for her, I already knew exactly what was waiting for me in that empty room. "I have been a concubine without bearing any children this whole time, I had no face to show anyone. But now that we are pregnant, we can finally restart our lives in the room that I deserve as you wife." I was honestly starting to feel ill with every sentence that she was uttering, to the point where I thought I was going to pass out a few times. But I knew that she was intentionally trying to make me react and I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction. And as for Seon-Ho, well I didn't know how he was taking all of this since I could barely look at him, but I could feel the energy shift already and I didn't dare press the issue at this time. So we all just sat down in our place for a dinner that I had never had the chance to experience before and just stare at it whilst the concubine went on and on about some deity that she visited in a temple who gave her the advice to find an auspicious room in the house for an easy pregnancy. And there was no other special room in this entire home apart from the one where Seon-Ho's mother nurtured her own pregnancy.

"...and that is why I need those quarters. That isn't a problem, is it? It is a good room to have sons in, even if this family does not believe in superstitions as I do." "Exactly, this family does not believe in such things, so how can you expect us to believe in this at all?" "This family may not believe, but the Emperor does. Shouldn't we follow by example?" I could only scoff in reply as I looked down at my bruised and blistered hands whilst the concubine still dressed how I did not that long ago. But I could already tell that she had gone through my wardrobe in particular and had no intentions on sending my clothes back to me in my new quarters. "And what if your child isn't a son? Do you mean to stay in those quarters forever?" "Of course, it isn't like I am planning on getting pregnant by your cousin just once. As a bride of this family, it is my duty to continue bearing offspring for this family. And what about you?" "What about me?" "Aren't you old enough to marry now? You should really think about what kind of husband you want to attract, since most people with your disorder my never be able to bare children." To be honest, I never even thought about having children or even marrying, but there was something inside of me, a part of the old me that I could not remember that just got so angry and emotional at the same time that I didn't know what else to do in that moment other than to excuse myself and each up on my chores that I had left behind in order to take care of someone who already had a woman and another one that he was in love with. What on earth was I doing with him and wasting my time if his heart was already with somebody else? Why waste my emotions like this when there was nothing that I could do to change this situation? No, I couldn't let anyone catch me off guard like this, not even the young master himself who still had not opened his mouth to say a single word. "I promise that from now on, I will never leave that room until I give the Young Master a son."

I left without saying a single word and on an empty stomach since I fed the Young Master everything that I had. I should have retired to my own quarters a long time ago but I was in no mood to sleep or rest right now. In fact, I managed to complete all of the servant's chores in a single night without resting whilst Dal kept me company in silence and his master was nowhere to be seen at all. "Why are you out here? Shouldn't you be tending to your wounds?" "Shouldn't you be in bed? Or has the Young Maser failed to protect you again?" "He has never failed to protect me, but he cannot stand up to his father and you know that." "It was his fault for not getting rid of the concubine as soon as she pushed you both in the water. But do you know why he didn't?" "I expect you are going to tell me anyways." "He did it to make her jealous, the woman he wants who doesn't want him. And you." "The woman who doesn't want him? The kisaeng girl? And what do I have to do with it?" "You...are his biggest weapon here. And anyone can see that you have fallen for him all over again, despite your memory loss. So he will use any means to provoke you to help him get out of here." "I already know that he needs me, but he will never go that far to provoke me." "And if I prove you wrong? What will you do then?" "Then I will make myself clear in front of him. And if he still doesn't listen to me, then I will have no choice but to leave." "He won't let you go and you know that." "He apparently has a whole haram of women waiting for him, he will not notice me at all." At this point ,I was doing everything that I could to convince myself that I didn't need this man who saved me, sheltered me, fed and clothed me. But the problem with that was that Dal knew that I was lying, I myself was trying to stop myself from crying and the fact that even now I could feel Seon-Ho's eyes on me from somewhere as usual and the intensity of it hadn't stopped even now. But now I wasn't going to try and make that eye connection that we always had, even when he wasn't in the mood to talk to me or he just couldn't. In fact, I was in a rare petty mood that I had never experienced before, but I decided to go along with it and even take it out on Dal since I knew now that this 'pregnancy' would take up a lot of the young master's time and it would give him even more reason to avoid discussing my past with me. So what was I to do now? If the concubine wanted to take my room then she could have it. If she wanted to manage this household then let her fight for those rights. And she wanted to take the young maser from me, well it would be a test of our old relationship that I could not remember. Let us see if he would fight for my safety at all or just abandon me since he had a new survive path now.

"What are you doing? Why are you coming up so close to me now?" "You say that he is just using me right? I want to see it for myself before I decide on what to do next." "There is a way to find out." "What do you mean?" "Come to me, be with me and I will give you this household and more." "What do you..." "I like you Yeon. A lot more than I should have. I want to be the one to take care of you now."

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Here I was, pouring my sincere heart out to her and I could tell that the only thing on her mind was testing the Young Master who was currently burning a hole in our backs with his intense sore that he only had for one person despite him still bolding professing his love for someone he hadn't thought about since returning from the army. He distracted himself with the intensity of the situation from Seo Hwi with his sister, and now that she was posing to be and even bigger problem,. He had also managed to confuse her with his own confused and impulsive feelings whilst he distracted himself with his concubine to put some distance between himself and Yeon, whom he didn't deserve anyways. And I hated him for it; I hated him for confusing Yeon whom he never even thought about romantically or in any other aspect if she did not prove herself useful to him. I hated their previous 'friendship' that was slowly merging into something else between them, I hated the fact that he separated her from her brother because I knew for a fact that if he knew exactly what his so-called best friend had done to...mentally seduce Yeon then he wouldn't allow it at all. But yet again, I probably would still be in the dark about her existence myself so maybe it wasn't too bad of a thing at all. And there would be a day that I would pay him back for beating my face black and blue for simply entering Yeon's quarters and spilling his secret about the woman that he truly needed to focus on.

"...Why?" "Excuse me?" "You...are just as ambitious and as ruthless as he is. So what makes you any different to be around than him with his endless riddles, half-sentences, mood-swings and so on." "That is what you call a confused man. And I am not confused. I know what I want and I always get what I want."

I may have had this one opportunity to be alone with her and not have the Young Master interfere in it for once. Because I knew that no matter quickly his temper flared up, he would never hurt Yeon. And now more than ever, he could not flare up her inquisitive mind even more than he already did, so I was in the clear for now. Or that was what I thought until we both heard the servant screaming and shouting that the Young Master's quarters had been set on fire. Never in my life had I seen a girl run as fast as Yeon did in that moment, but when we saw that it was actually the maid's quarters that had been caught on fire, we were both enshrouded in a deadly silence that once again bound us to the Young Master. What a coincidence that the same day that Yeon was going to move to the maids quarters where she would endure constant bullying from his concubine's slaves, her room caught fire. But then again, Yeon was the only lowborn in this entire kingdom who was overly pampered by both her brother and his best friend, and had never suffered from anything psychically apart from her epilepsy. She didn't know the harshness of this world, she didn't know how hard people like us had to work to survive as her brother was at this very moment and honestly if I wasn't exposed to her intelligence, I may have overlooked her myself. But she was something else entirely and she had proven herself time and time again that she was the last person anyone should underestimate. And if I could have her, she could surely assist me far better in my own plans than the Young Master ever could. His father was right about him, he was nothing more than a soft and emotional fool who wasn't going to accomplish anything despite all of the tools that he had at his disposal. He was just another half-breed illegitimate leech in this already fragile and corrupt society of ours. Honesty, maybe it was better if all of the illegitimate half-breeds of this society was wiped out by the Emperor himself. Just you watch Nam Seon-Ho, when I untangle all the chaos that you created, starting with this concubine of yours until Yeon finds out herself exactly why she is even living with you from your own lips, I swear it.