Chapter 22: Yugam (Regret)

"Young Mistress? What is the matter? The dinner has been made, you have your best dress on and the young master will be amazed by your looks..." "Did you see that? How he walked in to protect his cousin in that manner, instead of letting his father rant and rave like he usually does in his old age?" "'They are family, of course he will look out for someone as pitiful as her." Was I simply imagining things? This so-called cousin of his looked so much like the sister of his best-friend who used to look at him in exactly the same way that he did at her tonight. Maybe I was just being paranoid with Chun-Ae's last words about her, but a part of me did think that he looked like he wanted to just collapse into her arms if he could...no, this wasn't right either. I had no concrete proof about what was going on between them and I was not going to make the same mistakes that my predecessor did if I wanted to survive in this magnificent home.

Looking back on our interactions today, she seemed to be a very mature person despite her young age, which was nothing like the friend's sister. That girl was very child-like and naive, even at the age of 16. And I had to admit that I hadn't seen her often, but these two women looked so much alike...and her high-pitched voice that was just like...but it didn't make any sense. Seo Yeon was a penniless orphan with a disability, and Nam Seon-Ho was the most manipulative, scheming and ambitious man this village knew next to his father. And coming back from this war, everyone knew that he was just waiting for a position in the palace. What sort of value did someone as simple as Yeon have to him? But this girl who's name I barely knew, she seemed to be almost as smart as he was. But not enough to benefit from all of the advantages that she could have if she played her cards right. If she was in fact his cousin of the same blood, then why wasn't she allowed to enjoy the same family privileges as the Young Maser did? Unless they were ashamed of her condition and just wanted to lock her up and hide her existence from the world.

I was still deep in thought when I realised that it was now almost midnight and the food that I had worked so hard to prepare for was stone cold by now. I couldn't believe this, where exactly was he? He wasn't in bed, he wasn't even in his quarters. So where was he? Had something happened to him? I was far too nervous to spend my first night with the young master on edge like this, so I personally made my way to look all around the residence, completely forgetting the elegant clothes and jewellery that I was wearing which came from Chun-Ae's personal belongings. I had been waiting for weeks to wear this and hopefully woo the Young Master Nam that no other woman in the village wanted, only to a candle lit at Yeon's quarters. Curiosity got the best of me as I simultaneously prayed silently that the Young Master had not abandoned me for his cousin as I had feared. There was just something about her that I could not explain that seemed to make me weary of her and I was beginning to feel as if she was able to cast a spell on the Young Master that no one else could break before I even had the chance to rise up the ranks to concubine of the Nam family.

But there she was, personally serving a full plate of food to the Young Master with the greasiest fried egg on top that I had ever seen in my life. The strong smell was coming straight at me through the hole I had poked through the paper windows with my finger and it almost made me throw up right there and then. "Did you miss me when I left?" "Excuse me?" "How did you spend your time here in my absence? You must have been bored out of your mind without me." "I hate to burst your bubble Young Master, but my world does not revolve around you. I kept myself busy by raiding your book-shelf." "You god-damned brat, you cannot just rife through my things like that!" "Why? Do you have something to hide from me? Well?" "Be quiet and let me eat in peace for once. All you do is talk and talk and..." "how many blows did you take to the head in the war? We always eat separately, apart from today. So since when do I make so much noise? You cannot just bully me because I am shorter than you and lower-ranked. What? Why are you laughing at me? Stop it..." "Ok ok, I take it back, ok? Just let me eat in peace." "No-one is stopping you, you know." I was always under the impression that noble families more than ever were very formal and courteous towards each other. And yet this pair of 'cousins' interacted so flawlessly, it was as if they could read each other's minds and finish off each other's sentences.

"Well?? Do you like it? I've never cooked for anyone else besides myself before..." "well, I am not throwing it up am I?" He muttered quietly before he hid himself behind his plate whilst his cousin started to prepare his tea. I couldn't believe this; it wasn't easy for me to use my little savings on a full blown dinner spread. How dare she? How dare she take him away from me on what was supposed to be our very first night together? Didn't the Young Master promise me himself that he was going to promote me? How on earth could that happen if he was always with her? No, I could not let this continue. Or maybe I was being too rash? She was his family after all and maybe that was what the young master wanted after returning from war? To just be around family? Ok, I will give this so-called cousin one last chance to assure myself that their relationship was nothing more than a familial one. But if it turned out that she was lying to me in anyway, then could make sure she paid the price for thinking that she could get away with bullying a maid like myself, even if she was a noblewoman herself.

"...I didn't mean to stand you up that day I left. And I thought about you when I was away. Have you completed the task that I gave you?" "I have completed it long ago. But I do not understand why you have given me this task instead of the new maid that you intend to make as your concubine?" "Who" "Have you already forgotten? She was right there next to me when you returned and argued with your father." "Oh, right. Do not worry about her and stay as far way from her as possible." "Why?" 'Because you are fragile, and I do not want you to get involved in this." "So I was right, you are up to something again. And are you going to clue me in this time or leave me to figure it out as it happens?" "Yeon?" "Yes?" "Where are you servants? The one I had specifically sent to serve you?" "You over-crowded an invisible guest like me with too many servants. You know that I do not need them at all." "But this is unacceptable." "Please do not, it makes me feel uncomfortable." "Yeon..." "Brother, please? I feel like I am being watched and judged all of the time with the high ranking servants in a home as infamous as this one. Please?" "I will lend you Dal then in my spare time, it will keep him busy." "But he does not like me." "Don't you worry about that." "Brother?" "Yes?" " I am glad that you have come home in one piece. And I know I may be selfish in saying this, but you are all that I have. So please do not do anything reckless, because I cannot survive in this world without you."

What a smooth lady with a glib tongue indeed, she really was going all out now to impress him and take his full attention from anyone that wasn't her, I saw that now. And it took me all of my restraint not to burst through those doors and push her into the fireplace that the young master had situated himself near. Instead, I had to let my own servant who had accompanied my through all of my trials and tribulations escort me back to my cold and lonely quarters where the rats and mice had already eaten everything before I could barely touch it for myself. I had slaved in the kitchen all day just for this day and I barely ate anything to watch my weight, and here I was in a better home with a better opportunity, still going hungry for my master and the man who I would share my life with. I had failed at this once, and I could not let this happen again.

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"Dal?" "Yes Young Master?" "Well, was she here?" "Brother?" "Just wait Yeon, you will find out everything soon enough. Dal?" "Our suspicions were correct, she was watching you through a hole that she made through the paper windows of the Young Mistress's quarters." "How dare she! Who gave her the right to ruin my mother's quarters?" "Bother?" "Young Master, this woman is too shallow to serve you. And she just went out of her mind now, cursing the Young Mistress in a frenzy on her way back to her quarters. But you upgrading her status in this home was unusual to begin with...." "I heard that she even went as far as to criticise this family of palace officials for being ill-informed about my departure. Is that also true?" "It is." "Yeon?" "Yes brother?" "I need to entrust a task to you, and you need to remember the words I say so I do not repeat myself. I will be bringing in new servants into this home and I need to leave it up to you to train them with the household management book that I asked you to memorise." "But what about the maid..." "She will cause trouble, and I need you to handle her just like how you handled Chun-Ae. If you need my help, you can send me a message through Dal since I am home now and my father will be watching us closely again, so we have to limit our interactions with each other. Do you understand me?" "But why..." "Because I trust you the most in this home since I have known you for almost my whole life, even if you cannot remember it. And because I am enter the palace soon, I will be busy with my own work. So can I trust you with this? Or shall I use someone else? Let me know now..." "i will not let you down brother." "Good girl, you will follow the instructions that I hand over to you, ok? And I need to send you some servants..." "brother..." "...ones who are good at a particular sort of service. I hope you will understand when you meet them, ok?" "Yes brother, good night brother."

Just be a little patient Seo Yeon; with your help, my plan can accelerate a lot faster and I can reunite you and your brother sooner that even I could have ever anticipated. All the times that myself and your brother mocked you for being a book worm, who knew that such a peculiar hobby of yours would pay off so beautifully. And only a man like your father would have raised you to be as wise as you are now. What a lucky man indeed to have birthed such a beautiful and intelligent daughter like you. And as for Hwi...well, I am starting to understand why he is the way that he is when he is apart from you.

"Brother?" "Yes?" " I am glad that you have come home in one piece. And I know I may be selfish in saying this, but you are all that I have. So please do not do anything reckless, because I cannot survive in this world without you." What a sweet-natured girl, just like honey. Even her cooking was pretty outstanding, no wonder her brother never shared her meals with me at all, and I had thought he was just being protective over her. That must be one of the reasons why Hwi had lost so much weight, and it looked like Yeon took care of herself well now, so he must be missing his sister's personal care. But what else? There must be something more than this that kept the siblings as close as they were, so what was it? Or maybe I would find out once Yeon completed this task for me, if she was up to it anyways. Just because she was able to help me once didn't guarantee that she would be successful again, although I had no reason to doubt her.